Some questions

[hayat84]

:salam2:I'd ask to you if were or are temped to do something you did before reverting to Islam.I sometimes think about my past and I remember how much good time I spent with my partner.I went to disco or to cinema,I wore no hijab,I wasn't already reveted.when I got married,I liked to go rarely to disco,even if I was reverted and I didn't wear hijab,but in the last times,I'm using to wait my husband at home,I take care of my daughters...But I sometimes think with sadness at those beauty moments that I passed with him.Is it haram to go to the disco for a night even if I'm muslim,I pray,I make ramadan,I read Quran?Am I far from Islam or is it normal to think to make something maybe wrong,but I make it with my husband?At the same time I think that it's impossible to go to disco or to cinema wearing hijab,because it would be contraddictory for me as muslim woman to frequent non-muslim places to have a good time.How can I do?I suppose you'll give me the right advice,but as I often do,when I'm near to the cinema and my husband asks me if I want to go there,I answer him that it's better for us to bring our money for our daughters:shymuslima1:.Am I not a good muslim?what can you answer me?

 

[believers_path]

Assalamualikum,My dear sis,
Allhamdulillah!Alhamdulillah! good that shaitan tempted you but you did not listen to him.

"""At the same time I think that it's impossible to go to disco or to cinema wearing hijab,because it would be contraddictory for me as muslim woman to frequent non-muslim places to have a good time"""

ya you r right.

see the problem is that even if you go with your husband to disco or cinema obviously u wont like to go with hijab that means your hijab is refraining you from going to bad place then even if you go, there wil b lots of namahrams, mixing of pple and there wil be playing all sorts of haram music,haram stuffs must b taking place which might divert you from allah s.w.t

 

[hayat84]

WOW

:salam2::astag:.I'm shocked,I really was blind not to think about Fitna.So I always had bad thoughts even if they were made in my mind and with my husband.You are right!What about liking some actors or singers?are they bad thoughts?My husband knows I like the songs of Michael Jackson and he gave me his dvd,I use to listen his songs,but nothing more.I like romantic films.Even if I'm in privacy with my partner is it hara to watch a film in which there are kisses scenes?:tti_sister:Football players of saudi arabia are they also font of Fitna because they play?I went one time to a chinese restaurant wearing hijab:I was a little ashamed,not because of hijab,but because none had invited me in that place but my husband.I'm a true sinner,but thanks to ypur words I understood more:ma:

 

[rightpath_357]

No your not sis!!!!!!
I wish I could help more- but the only thing I can grant an answer for is this:

Sister, who else would have invited you to the Chinese resteraunt? There's no need to be ashamed. People don't stand outside telling people to come in.

Salam sis!!!!

 

[hayat84]

I was ashamed because I used to eat at home with my parents.I wasn't as lucky as some friends whose boyfriend liked to invite them.Before knowing my husband none else tried to invite me because I was too shy to enter in a place in which everyone looks how you dress.but from this side I'm happy because I am at the moment the only one after the schools,who is married to a lovely man,instead the majority of those "friends"is maybe single or chenged lots of partners.Allah gave me shyness me to fall in love with my actual husband.this is it

 

[arzafar]

going to disco and even listening to music is haram.

but you can ask your husband to sing for you and you can dance together or do other disco stuff in the privacy of your home.

 

[Frank_H_Smith]

As Salamu 'Alaykum,

Al-Ankaboot
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Alif. Lam. Mim. (1) Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? (2) Lo! We tested those who were before them. Thus Allah knoweth those who are sincere, and knoweth those who feign. (3)

سُوۡرَةُ العَنکبوت
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
الٓمٓ (١) أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتۡرَكُوٓاْ أَن يَقُولُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَنُونَ (٢) وَلَقَدۡ فَتَنَّا ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِهِمۡ*!ۖ فَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ صَدَقُواْ وَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱلۡكَـٰذِبِينَ (٣)

Al-Anbiya
Every soul must taste of death, and We try you with evil and with good, for ordeal. And unto Us ye will be returned. (35)

سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنبیَاء
كُلُّ نَفۡسٍ۬ ذَآٮِٕقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِ*!ۗ وَنَبۡلُوكُم بِٱلشَّرِّ وَٱلۡخَيۡرِ فِتۡنَةً۬*!ۖ وَإِلَيۡنَا تُرۡجَعُونَ (٣٥)


Basic Concepts of Al Qur'an

 

[hayat84]

thanks for your comments,I hope me to be a better muslim and a good example for my children.I am maybe too young or unready to face to more sesrious life.because I like listening to music so as I like watching tv and playng to videogame.Is it possible that non of you is so straight in his rules?none of you watches football matches or listen to music?I love Islam but I also like to dance with intelligence and at home,because as you said is haram and generate Fitna,ok,but with intelligence I think everything is possible,cause on the contraryway we should stop smiling,writing on the web or anything else that could distract us from the way to Allah.May Allah guide me

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum dear sister

It is haram for every Muslim women or Muslim man to go in disco club, because it is place full of fitnah, haram, alcohol and all these things are forbidden in Islaam. As Muslim we should go to clean and halal places Alhamdulillah,and also it is strictly forbidden to watch at any haram scenes in romantic movies.:astag::astag::astag:. It does not metter if it is with who you are dear sister, doing haram and watching haram is always forbidden. May Allah guide you and all of us. ameen summa ameen :tti_sister:

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sweet sister the questions you ask are needed to be asked. The dunya is fun. It is full of laughter and gaiety. But that is so momentarily. What people do not discuss is the down side. What happens after you come home from a night of being out. This is when depression sets in. This is when the reality of life hits you. It becomes empty. It takes a lot of physical energy out of you. You hit the "blues". Most people find drugs and alcohol and sex to fight the feeling of being empty. Even in Micheal Jackson's songs the words are always about finding a way out of the emptiness. The forbidden leaves you empty and people seek a quick relief.

Eating out in a hijab is no big deal. You are very young and many of the feelings you express are those of finding confidence. As you get older you will understand it is more fun to eat at home. However Islam does not forbid us to enjoy ourselves. Islam has provided us with safeguards to protect ourselves. We have to watch ourselves so we do not fall down.

Do not be too hard on yourself. It is normal to look back and wish for somethings of the duyna. But with faith and patience you will not miss it at all.

 

[hayat84]

mammamia

:salam2::shymuslima1:I'm so embarassed,that I don't know from to start,in front of you all I have so much to learn.I'm not so perfect and straight like you.About going rarely with my husband to eat in a restaurant it may gives me a little of breath from sitting the whole day at home.as a housewife it is hard for me to be obliged to stay everyday at home to take care of two daughters and without spending a little of time with my partner out of the walls of home.Maybe there is some of you that keeps satisfaction from work,someone other spend some afternoon to talk with a brother/sister in Islam,but about me I don't say that my life is empty,but it is a little ennoing,because I have none to talk with but my husband...so that's why i'd like to spend a little of time out of my home:I like doing it with my husband.In Italy I have not found sister in Islam to talk with yet,so it's difficult to spend the whole day in silence,I read Quran,I try to memorize it(thanks to one of you who sent the web site of the Quran audio with the subtitles I memorized 34 verses of surat al-Baqara!).How can I forget my past?I was ignorant but there are some places where I used to go with my partner before we had so many children...I'm alone with my thoughts but I'm happy to dream,it is a weakness of me if I like the songs of Michael Jackson,even if his songs are empty as you said,but I heard that he wanted to become muslim,he was tender with the others...Maybe I grew up among the sinners and a part of me still sits down with them,so please help me to emprove myself,I'm aware that this life is just a Beautiful dream and that the Afterlife is much better,but if I'm obliged to let everything down here one day,I wish to have a funny life,made of laughs and preyers.But in myself I think at the same time the I want to isolate me from the rest of the world and stay alone thinking to Allah and abandoning every material feeling,because love,friendship,anger...everything belongs to this terrestrial life.but tell me how can we live without human feelings?How can a man get married to a woman,if he doesn't feel love?It is a non-sense,isn't it?That's why I'm torturing my mind:I wish to cover all my body from the sights of everyone,I wish to go to Mecca...But at the same time I have a husband who loves me and he doesn't like me to be too "Extreme",so I try to stay in a middle way,till one day in sh Allah I'll find my real direction.The brother of my husband said me one day<IF YOU'LL WEAR NIQAB,I'LL LET MY MUSTACHES GROW LONGER>.That's what I wish to do one day and to be free from every passion of this life.At the moment I'm simply Hayat,the wife of Brahim:tti_sister:

 

[arzafar]

why dont you discuss this situation with your husband.

ask your hubby to share his workload with you. like email correspondence etc.
write your own blog.
start a home business, design some Islamic dresses. cmon you live in italy!!!
do gardening, grow some veges.

and offcourse seek islamic knowledge.

 

[iloveislam78]

salam sister

asalam walakum sister in islam

 

[iloveislam78]

salam sister

asalam walakum sister in islam

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS for memorising some of surat al baqarah,
may allah swt reward you inshallah!!

It sounds as though you are torn between the glitter of this dunya, and the path of islam, sister this life is naught but a test, and what is a test? if this dunya was easy then there would be no 'test'
As muslims we must strive to resist the temptations of this worldly life as we muslims want the hereafter the life that shall not end inshallah.

sister shaytaan comes to all of us, read ayat ul kursi inshallah this will be a protection for you inshallah. also try and read surah al yaseen after salat al fajr, its very effective in keeping spirits high

we must all ask allah for constant guidance and forgiveness, i would recommend sister that you spend time supplicating allah frequently, and know that allah becomes angry with us when we do not supplicate, also the prophet pbuh said that dua is the essence of ibadah (worship) inshallah constant dua will help you sister become more concious of allah and also may allah grant you ease in your hardship. Try to learn allahs names inshallah so that you may call upon him in a way that he deserves.

maybe sister you could try and go to the mosque ( if there is one nearby ) to introduce yourself to some sisters???

talk to your husband inshallah and tell him how you feel lonely etc, perhaps he can help you sister.
also seek sincere forgiveness in allah for your past and move on sister, trust me most of us have pasts, its really pointless dwelling on it.
sister seek knowledge its compulsory for all Muslims, and will keep you focused inshallah.

salam walakum.

 

[iloveislam78]

No your not sis!!!!!!
I wish I could help more- but the only thing I can grant an answer for is this:

Sister, who else would have invited you to the Chinese resteraunt? There's no need to be ashamed. People don't stand outside telling people to come in.

Salam sis!!!!

sis i love ur posts women your halarious lol

 

[hayat84]

:salam2:And what about drinking coffee,or smoking the cigarette?are they right actions for a muslim?I saw many Arabic men sitting at the bar while they were smoking and drinking coffee...Are they bad temptations of this Dunya's life,or are they more forgiveable than dancing?What about a muslim football player,who kicks a ball,maybe getting angry with other players,instead of staying at home or in some mosque to pray?I've so many question,that perhaps little part of you brothers and sisters could answer me.I see so much ignorance around me and I wish to follow someone who gives me the right example.If I knew Islam before meeting my actual husband,I could maybe got married to a wiser man with a deeper islamic knowledge.I see in my everyday's life that is difficult to be patient and try to stay alone with my husband and read together some verses of Quran,cause before it was different:it was me who read Quran and explained it to my partner during our freetime.Now something changed little by little.Me,I wish to emprove myself and become better,but my husband,even if he's a strong muslim,he doesn't help me so much with salat and reading Quran.we often get angry and lose our respect.:astag:That is the reason why I feel betweent two directions:the first is<why should I be a good muslima if I lose my patience?>and to the other side<why doesn't he who I love understand my situation and sits near to me and talks to me,instead of endig everything with a dispute?>All this fars me from the idea of Islam that I've made before,because I want to be patient,but I'm nervous...So I am tempted to make bad actions,because I recognize that in a specific moment the Evil won upon me and convinced me to follow his path.Is it possible to erase a curse?:ma:

 

[iloveislam78]

Dearest sister, referring to your point that you fantasize about the times before your reversion, Muslims are not exempt from the evil whisperings from shaaytan, rather when we have bad thoughts we should seek refuge in allah swt. It is not permissible dearest sister that you would go to disco or such places of fitnah at all with or without your husband. Mashallah I have been reading some of your posts and seen that you have been memorizing the surahs of the quran, let me be the first to congratulate you this is a great achievement and inshallah your reward is with allah swt.
Sister if my understanding is correct it looks as though you need to ask yourself what kinds of things your interested in for example, Cooking, exercising , gardening whatever you like sister maybe it would be an idea for you to busy your mind and keep it stimulated, something you can do for your own pleasure. The Muslim men you have seen smoking etc are commiting sins, but you can dance in your own home for yourself or your husband if you like sister. Sister its important we look to those who are better in islam then us rather then the latter for example we can look at the wifes of the prophet Muhammed pbuh and strive to be like them inshallah and there you go!! A positive role model for you to follow. Sister I think you are very harsh on yourself and you needn’t be there is no place in islam for extremism, in no way do I mean stop the good deeds your doing but your every living breath shouldn’t be knowledge knowledge knowledge for example you can go for an hour or two into your garden and relax with family or friends as long as you remember allah is watching and listening then you will be okay inshallah, when you try to be extreme the heart becomes blind. Allah likes the little good that is done but that which is done consistently, Muslims should strive to take a moderate path in religion.
Dearest sister every child of adam is a sinner and no one is straight and perfect, alhamdulliah you have made positive steps into seeking knowledge which is more then many!! Your desire to cover body and go to hajj is NOT extreme its merely the desires of a muslimah who allah has guided so sister you must thank allah!!!! Its worrying that your husband sees this as extremism though yes.
Sister Allah has promised us Muslims good lives in this dunya and the ultimate reward of paradise in the aakhira furthermore he has promised to respond to our duas as long as we are not hasty, sister do remember allah is always ready to hear our calls, so we must never give up, implore allah sister establish tajjahud salat ( late night prayer) in the last hour of the night, this is the time that we slaves can be closest to allah swt, and it is only the foolish who sleep through the night when they have great needs.
Sister try and buy some books on the sunnah of islam and try to read the hadiths inshallah so you can differentiate between haraam and halal inshallah.
In the mean time be patient with your husband and try to entertain yourself before you complain to him of your loneliness, and rejoce at how much time allah swt has given you to strive for knowledge and be able to live in such a way many sisters dream of being in your position!!! make plenty of dua and maybe inshallah visit a mosque to attempt to befriend some sisters who inshallah will support you.
DUA DUA DUA sis .

And im here if you have any more questions I hope I helped inshallah

Your sister in islam.*!*!*!x

 

[hayat84]

yes sister,that's what I wished to hear,now I feel better,cause I realized that my solution is Allah.I never forgot Him,instead I sometimes use to get up in the night and pray two raka's and ask Allah to forgive me for my unpatience and I hope everytime to be better.I have much time to spend at home and I'm really happy not to be stressed by going to work,cause my husband granted me a comfortable life.I thank to him for everything he does for me,but in Italy there isn't a mosque where to pray and the most of time I feel alone with my deen.Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water,I can touch the falsity with my hands and even if I'd like everything to be perfect,it's like my mind absorbes all thepain and the bad things that it feels,and so it come to me bad thoughs and the wish to give up.But you are right,Allah tested us.I must say that I only wished to go to disco to remember my passed moments with my at that time boyfriend,but now I am aware that it is an ugly place and if my husband told me before that it was haram going there,I would listened to him.About my hobbies,I like cooking very much,I make every sort of food,I bake bread at home;cakes,biscuits,tajin and every maroccain food.Before having my children I used to cook bread and give some to a poor woman,but in general I like giving what I have expecially food to someone who needs to carry on.I've never expected that someone told me <thank you> because compassion is one of the feelings that characterize me.It would sound stupid,but inside a hard heart like mine,I cry when I see someone in difficulty,that's why I maybe feel angry:maybe I have everything and there is who has nothing,so spend my hours searching to be better,but I continue to fall.I am in war with myselfne part of me thinks to donate what it has,another part wants to isolate from the rest of the world and wish to die shahida in Mecca(I love that place,it's like it is waiting for me)and the worst part of me is like a bomb of anger and impatience,ready to burst.If I obey 100% to my husband I maybe never make those good actions that I wish to do,I wish to work and bring money to make food and help those who're in difficulty,and at last I wish to go to Mecca by young and not when I am 50 or 60.You sister gave me a sprint of life,I hope one day we'll meet,during Hajj in sh Allah!Yes,I memorized some surats,I know all the 99 Allah's names,I prey,I make Ramadan...I really wish to be an example,because I hope Allah one day will give me the courage to face the life with patience and honour,till my end.Shukran laki ister;I'm pleased to be understood.

 

[hayat84]

but suicide is haram,so those who make something wrong to their body and die because of it,they are condemned to pay with Hell?

 

[iloveislam78]

salam sister

My complete pleasure sister im glad that i could be of support to you,
really i am,very happy
i do understand sister how you feel beause you feel like most muslimahs and muslim men, we are all fighting with ourselves to submit to allah and keep away from haraam thats part of dunya, for all of us,

its honourable that a part of you wants to die a martyr but know dearest sister that a womens jihad is her marriage and put your efforts into your marriage.
Sister islam doesnt tell us to hide away from the world and not enjoy that which allah has provided for us, so dont feel this way because this is shaytaan sister, fight him and dont give up!!!!

It is sad that there is no mosque were you live but inshallah make dua for allah to give you a companion someone you can help with your islam inshallah, pray for your husband sister, allah swt guides whom he wills! be patient and put your trust in allah!!!! and dont forget pray for me too:shymuslima1: and all the muslim men and women inshallah!!

and you like cooking sister!! i LOVE cooking tooo!!! im happy you like cooking moroccan dishes because ( coff coff) im moroccan lol
inshallah dearest sister one day soon will meet in hajj or maybe inshallah in jennah al firdous!!!!!
Allah is al aleem ( AS you know) he knows our niyaat intention and we are judged by our intention so again for the hajj supplicate allah inshallah he will make it possible for you to go there!!!

sister do you know where your anger comes from???? how it starts?? sometimes if you get to the root cause of the problem you can deal with it inshallah!!!

Also sister how is your heart hard?? when you see someone in distress you hurt inside, in my opinion your heart is good sister, try and not be so hard on yourself!!!

salam walakum sister hayat.xx