to help a friend with a failing marriage.

[BGfromGB]

I have a very dear friend whose marriage after 20 years is now "On the Rocks".

He and his wife are currently going to a guidance counsellor.

When confiding in him I asked what was the cause or the main cause of the apparent break down. De dearly loves his wife and is desparately keen to save the relationship. He says the main cause is financial and sexual.
I want to help in the best manner possible without interfering. But I want to help them in such a way by turning and praying to God. However i'm not qualified to discuss such issues. The problem is He's not religious at all but believes in God.

What is Islam's stand point about trying to help a failing marriage and the related issues as mentioned above. Does Islam approve of marriage counsellors? And how does the Islamic community deal with such matters?

 

[shaz_1999]

I am so sorry but cant really help you that much.

I went through what I think was a really hard time and the one thing that help me was praying my namaz and praying to Allah.

When I look back that helped me and also the support of my friends and family

So carry on supporting you friend and just listen really

Sorry I am not much help

 

[Libinette]

Hello BG,

Allah says in surah an Nisa (chapter 4, verse 35):

If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and the woman), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Aquainted with all things.

So, here's your answer from the islamic point of view from the Qur'an, although it is better for the man and the woman to discuss their problems with each other, if they cannot reach any conclusion then, God says, you can appoint 2 arbitrators, one from her family the other form his family, and verily if you wish for reconciliation Allah will make it easy...so there s no real need for marriage counsellors...

Islaam is a complete way of life, where the Quran tells us evrything we need

 

[farhopes]

Assalamo alikom

Hello, BG

I agree with sister libin, but I think marriage counselors is not bad idea specially in the western society where the effective role of the family is not like what we have here in the East.

If this counselor is honest and wise enough, he\ she can help.

In Islam we have what Allah calls " The boundaries of Allah". In many verses of the Holy Qur'an Allah SWT. reminds us not to transgress the boundaries of Allah SWT. In Islam the wife must obey her husband and live with him under any financial circumstances. She is ordered to respect him and devote her life to make him happy and comfortable because if her husband is pleased with her, she will gain great reward from Allah. In Islam there are not any kinds of relations outside marriage. The woman is not allowed to have a male friend or even talk to him in an informal manner. The same banning is for the man. He is not allowed to have any kinds of relations outside marriage.

I think if every wife and husban stick to these wonderful and ideal boundaries of Allah, they will live in everlasting happiness and they will never need any counselors.