Assalaam aleykum sisters!
I too started out wearing hijab when I first reverted. But I felt very uncomfortable with it - I am not a person who likes to draw attention to myself, and I disliked the kind of attention it would bring. I was prepared to get strange looks at times from other Americans, but what surprised me was the fact that other Arabic muslims who wore hijab would sometimes look at me just as strangely! I also just felt uncomfortable because it is just not a part of American culture to wear one, so it would make me feel out of place and strange in my own skin. However, I absolutely believe in the protection and privacy that comes with wearing hijab, thank God it is a very beautiful thing. I look forward to being a better role model and educating other women about this in the future.
I decided to stop wearing hijab about a year ago when I applied for a new job because I did not want to get discriminated against for it. Also I felt that when you do wear hijab you immediately become targeted as Muslim, and it can be hard to stand up to the scrutiny that brings when you are a new revert. I feel there are MANY more important things that should be understood and practiced in Islam first - your heart, faith and your good deeds count so much more. So I made the decision to concentrate on those things to make myself a better Muslim first. I kind of think of it as how Muhammad PBUH prepared himself at home for a number of years before going out into the public to teach the message.
I understand and appreciate the importance of modesty, so I do practice that fully (I wear modest clothing that covers my body completely, even in the summer time, I do not use makeup, perfume, or style my hair except when I am at home in the company of my husband), with the only exception being that I do not cover my head. But in time I also do intend to go back to wearing hijab full time, I know it is the right thing to do.
I think it may have been easier in the time of the prophet in that the Muslims were all living together in community, all the women were covering and got encouragement from each other in doing so. Living here in the US we are often the only practicing Muslims in our immediate neighborhoods, at the market, at work, or at school, etc. and so we are completely surrounded by non-Muslims in our every day life. I know that is the case for myself! And it can be difficult unless you are really prepared for it.
I feel I am getting close to that point of going back to hijab now, I anticipate implementing it at some point in the upcoming year. My faith has grown a lot and I am much less bothered by whether or not what I do or say appears strange to others. I have accepted that will just be a reality in my life, but I am bound to hold on as tightly as I can to the Quran and Sunnah regardless of what people around me think.
Insha'Allah we can be a good support for each other here.
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