Men MUST Lead

muslimlady

Junior Member
Men are Imams of society. They must lead whether they like it or not. It is not an option but an obligation set forth by Allah.
A classic illustration of this is even the wisest mother cannot lead her 13year old son in prayer, whereas he can lead her (be the imam). Which brings us to the fact that in order to lead, a man must start practising at a very young age and so the influence and guidance of parents in this aspect is critical.

*Sons must be made to do different activities in the home including cooking, washing dishes, vaccum, wash the toilets , reparing simple household problems and the likes from a young age.
Mothers and Fathers must NEVER think that these acts are too "feminine" or it is a females' job to do such activities.

*They must be given a measure of responsibility and authority at young age. For example "protect" their mother and sisters from harm and strangers, be allowed to make some "critical" decisions pertataining to the home and family such as if he is a 10 years old child, perhaps he could be allowed to decide as to which chores he would like to do on certain weeks. As he grows older, he could be given more "difficult" decisions to make.

By knowing what these activities entail will he be able to appreciate his wife, mother/father, daughters/sons and society in general. His expectations will be reasonable hence do-able. In at nustshell, practise practise practise. Even McDonalds recognises this. Anyone who wants to be a McDonalds franchisee must start at the bottom. He must mop floors and do all the things that his future employees will be doing.

Society is crumbling because we lack leaders who knows how to lead.
Islam has thought us HOW to lead but many do not read about this.
May I suggest that our brothers actually have societies to prepare boys to be men. It is unfortunate that more and more homes are lead by single mothers who are struggling as it is to just put food on the table. I am confident there are sufficient mentors out there. Come on Brothers, rise up to the challenge because this is indeed a challenge. The snowballing effect this will create is phenomenal.

Wallahu a3lam.


:salah:
 

amjaddamen

brother
[.

*They must be given a measure of responsibility and authority at young age. For example "protect" their mother and sisters from harm and strangers, be allowed to make some "critical" decisions pertataining to the home and family such as if he is a 10 years old child, perhaps he could be allowed to decide as to which chores he would like to do on certain weeks. As he grows older, he could be given more "difficult" decisions to make.





this is nice really ,
i have a 13 years son who dosenot permit his 8 years old sister to go to super market alone , i know he may be over reacting a little but i really amazed how he got this .
 

warda A

Sister
[.

*They must be given a measure of responsibility and authority at young age. For example "protect" their mother and sisters from harm and strangers, be allowed to make some "critical" decisions pertataining to the home and family such as if he is a 10 years old child, perhaps he could be allowed to decide as to which chores he would like to do on certain weeks. As he grows older, he could be given more "difficult" decisions to make.





this is nice really ,
i have a 13 years son who dosenot permit his 8 years old sister to go to super market alone , i know he may be over reacting a little but i really amazed how he got this .

:salam2:

That is really beautiful of your son, i think he got it in him because it is part of the nature of male to protect,
Is it not written in the Quran that "did we not create you as protectors of the women?" I do not know if it is exactly that, some one who know would clarify.

Sister muslim lady , thank you for a beautiful post and it is a challenge for the brothers to take up.
 

Almeftah

Junior Member
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Dear muslimlady, may Allah bless you, you are right, thats exactly how it should be between men and women.

The problem is that most women dont want that, they want to be leaders just like men, forgetting that thier role in the lives of thier children is of more importance.
If both fathers and mothers are working, and have no time for the children, then who is going to raise our children and bring them up to be scholars or leaders or inventors or scientists or just good citizens?

Women are more capable of raising children than men.
Women are more passionate, and men are more practical, thats why together they complete each other, and thats why in most conditions divorce inflects damage on children more than it does to the parents.

(4:34)Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property). As to those women on whose part you see ill¬conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great (34)
 

AlMuslimah121

New Member
well, in sense this is true; but- there is really no down side to this rule that men must lead. this is because, both women and men have a variety of roles in raising and nurturing their families. i mean if you looked carefully at the shariah law, you'd say that islam was made for women. Really- they have so many rights and priveliges. so the role of a mother should not be a burden but something that comes as a natural instinct. and no one sais that women shouldn't do anything else in their lives- merely that they should spend an ample amount of time to spend with her children. take Aisha (radia allahu anhaa) she was the smartest women in her time- and she wasn't wrong in what she was doing.

Men have also got a responsible role in looking after his family, so sisters don't be thinking that men have it easy!
modern wiews make us forget the most important things in our lives.....

sallaam
 

muslimlady

Junior Member
[.

*They must be given a measure of responsibility and authority at young age. For example "protect" their mother and sisters from harm and strangers, be allowed to make some "critical" decisions pertataining to the home and family such as if he is a 10 years old child, perhaps he could be allowed to decide as to which chores he would like to do on certain weeks. As he grows older, he could be given more "difficult" decisions to make.





this is nice really ,
i have a 13 years son who dosenot permit his 8 years old sister to go to super market alone , i know he may be over reacting a little but i really amazed how he got this .




Masha Allah, I am glad to read about your son and his sense of responsibility towards his sister........indeed he must have seen his father or relative act accordingly or schools might have told them about the dangers of adult predating on little kids.

I am also happy to note that another Muslim kin quoted texts from the Quraan to suport what I am trying to say.

Yes, the responsibilities of a male farrrrrrrrrr outweigh those of a woman. What you see today where women are becoming more aggresive is because of a lack of leaders. Men are going back to the age of Jahiliyah where women are being abused and used instead of being appreciated and loved.
An Imam (the male or head of household) is pretty much like the CEO of any organisation. You must lead wisely and fairly. Notice that organisations which are well run usually have a lower rate of staff turnover, they remain profitable because staff has a sense of belonging with the organisation and when the going gets tough, these very employees will not mind taking a pay cut.
The recent strike by teachers in the UK is a case in point. One of their main contention is that their salaries are not increasing at the same rate as inflation. A valid point. Can the government afford to increase their salaries??
Absolutely!! I don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that if just a fraction of what is being spent in Iraq is channeled towards the pay increment, we would not have these strikes.
The same with our Imams i.e. husbands/fathers. If the father stops smoking for example, he might be able to save enough to take the family for a simple holiday. Thats just the money aspect. There are other aspects too and too long to mention for now.

Bottom line is, leadership is difficult to acquire, not all men are born leaders.
It is indeed an acquired skill. Just think.... you are not leading British Airways or Enron or Google.........Just your little family of 4 or 5 or 10. Gentlemen you can lead.........and you must. Remember the saying, look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of itself..........well when you have learned the art of leadership, you will not find your women rebelling against you...........it is not in our nature to rebel against someone we admire and respect.

I hope all the gentlemen reading this will be encouraged and rise up to the challenge. REMEMBER, these are not my thoughts. Islam has made you males de facto leaders. Take it up MEN!!

Wallahu Alam
 

amjaddamen

brother
Masha Allah, I am glad to read about your son

I hope all the gentlemen reading this will be encouraged and rise up to the challenge. REMEMBER, these are not my thoughts. Islam has made you males de facto leaders. Take it up MEN!!

Wallahu Alam

ok sister , iam encouraged , and i'll rise up , but i think i'll sleep on the (coach) tonight .
:):)
 

amjaddamen

brother
well, in sense this is true; but- there is really no down side to this rule that men must lead. this is because, both women and men have a variety of roles in raising and nurturing their families. i mean if you looked carefully at the shariah law, you'd say that islam was made for women. Really- they have so many rights and priveliges. so the role of a mother should not be a burden but something that comes as a natural instinct. and no one sais that women shouldn't do anything else in their lives- merely that they should spend an ample amount of time to spend with her children. take Aisha (radia allahu anhaa) she was the smartest women in her time- and she wasn't wrong in what she was doing.

Men have also got a responsible role in looking after his family, so sisters don't be thinking that men have it easy!
modern wiews make us forget the most important things in our lives.....

sallaam


very nice words
let us all remember that when we talking a bout male and female we are not talking about opponent sides ( like in europe) actually we are talking a bout familly , brothers, sisters ,mothers.
 

nizar83

Junior Member
aselemu aleikum!

nothing but truth in this post! jazaak ALLAH ghair!

if i take a look at the muslim sisters here in the netherlands, its very obvious that the few ones that have gone astray ( may ALLAH ta3ala guide them and all of us inshallah ), came to take that route simply because the muslim men encouraged them in whatever way to do so.

for example, we men dislike to see a muslim woman flirt with someone from the opposite sex..yet we muslim men ( im talking about the ones i know in my society + the country i live in holland ) are the ones that flirt with them on a regular acting like its ok for a man to be like that..
obviously if the sisters see us men do such things with ladies...its not sending them the right signal...if we men were to be more strict and god fearing..wolahi it would have direct influence and effect on the community we live in!
 
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