Need advice...helpppp

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Mehry

Guest
:bismillah:

:salam2: bro's and sis's

I have a friend and her brother is 16 years old he has a relationship with a non muslim girl shes 15 years old (not muslim). My friend tried to talk with her brother a lot and told him that’s not the right thing, we muslims never do such things its haram etc...but her brother doesn’t listens to her and she is afraid that if she tells her parents they will get very angry…….i mean really angry that’s y b4 to get those problems she wants to solve it herself if it can she asked me if I can help her I said I will definetly do my best and that’s y I am asking u all brothers and sisters what should she do without letting her parents know about it……………. She really needs our help and especially her brother bcuz hes very young and he doesn’t really think about haram and halal good or bad right now………….every ones advice is welcome.

Thanx anywayz…….

:jazaak:

:wasalam:
 

Abdul-Raheem

Signing Out.....
:salam2:

Like you said
he doesn’t really think about haram and halal good or bad right now
This is a big problem and one you can't solve if he doesn't start THINKING about the boundaries set in Islam.
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah
:bismillah:

:salam2: bro's and sis's

I have a friend and her brother is 16 years old he has a relationship with a non muslim girl shes 15 years old (not muslim). My friend tried to talk with her brother a lot and told him that’s not the right thing, we muslims never do such things its haram etc

:wasalam:
Que ("what" in Spanish)? Allah allows us to marry non-Muslims! He allows us to marry Christians, Jews, and Muslims. Allah says so in the Holy Qur'an! ***removed***
 

Abdul-Raheem

Signing Out.....
Hold up brother! That isn't true. Allah allows a muslim man to MARRY a non-muslim woman, not to have one as a Girl friend
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
Assalam.

NO IT'S NOT TRUE AT ALLLLL!!!

Even when it is allowed that a Muslim man marry a non-Muslim, there are limitations!

IT says CHASTE person of the People of the Book. How do you plan on being chaste if they are planning on pre-martial affairs.

Brother NewMuslim, i know you are sincere, but please don't put things without proper evidence.

Wassalam.
 

wayofthesalaf

New Member
Intimate relations outside of marriage are haraam!

Allah has clearly stated in the Quran:

...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... [Qur'an 5:5]

Abud Darda' related from the Messenger of Allah (SAW):

That he came upon a (slave) woman who was in the advanced stage of pregnancy at the door of a tent. He (SAW) said: Perhaps he (the man accompanying her) intends to cohabit with her. They said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: I had decided to curse him with such a curse as may go along with him to his grave. How can he own him (the child to be born) and that is not lawful for him, and how can be take him as a servant for that is not lawful for him? [Sahih Muslim, Narrated AbudDarda']

It is also narrated by Zaid bin Khalid that:

Allah's Apostle (SAW) ordered that an unmarried man who committed illegal sexual intercourse be scourged one hundred lashes and sent into exile for one year. [Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 48, Number 817, Narrated by Zaid bin Khalid]

It is narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
"Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." [Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab, Tirmidhi transmitted it]

It is very clear. Taking secret lovers/girlfriends is forbidden by Allah and His Messenger (SAW) and will lead to all sorts of evil and fitnah.

One should not compromise their deen for the dunya. If he feel desires for a woman, look for a righteous sister and get married! But if you are not currently able to marry take the advice of Allah and His Messenger (SAW):

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do. [Qur'an 24:30]

And those who are not married should try to live in chastity, until God enriches them with His Grace. [Qur'an, 24:33]

And the Authentic hadith which states:

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. The Prophet said: "O assembly of youths; whoever among you possesses the physical and financial resources to marry should do so, because it helps him guard his modesty, and whoever is unable to marry should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." [Sahih Muslim and Sahih Bukhari]

It is Narrated by AbdAllah ibn Mas'ud that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:

"O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust." [Ibn Kathir Volume 5 p. 458]
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah
:salam2:
"Relationship" doesn't necessarily mean "girlfriend/boyfriend for now, break-up later". Sometimes, dating is Halal (as in when a Muslims dates someone to get to know them before marriage, FULLY INTENDING marriage). When the original poster said "relationship", you (nor can I) can't automatically assume "boyfriend/girlfriend, HARAM".
:wasalam:
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
Assalamu alaykum.

Brother it's most likely the BF & GF relationship.

YES people can get to know each other intending marriage, BUT then they wouldn't or shouldn't hide it from their parents. Why, if it was just marriage kind, would it want to be hidden from parents??

Wassalam.
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah
Assalamu alaykum.

Brother it's the BF & GF relationship. YES people can get to know each other intending marriage, BUT then they wouldn't or shouldn't hide it from their parents. Why, if it was just marriage kind, would it be hidden from parents??

Wassalam.

:wasalam:
I can think of one reason. I think that I will always be "too young for marriage" in the eyes of my father, so I would hide it from him until the proposal.

However, as [I think] many here know, the relationship posted by the original poster may be the "boyfriend/girlfirend-then-breakup" relationship that is Haram.
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
Assalam.

lol. brother, your case i should feel would be a bit different... since you are a revert and your parents are not muslim, they have no power over who you can marry. perhaps letting them know that person is ok, but altogether... you marry them.

With Muslim parents, a Muslim should definitely take into consideration all that their parents say unless it goes against the teachings of Islam, then it is to be disregarded.

I think we understand what you mean now...

Wassalam.
 

Abu Sarah

Allahu Akbar
Staff member
she must be told her parents ...........

Assalam Alaykum..dear All..

u should keep in ur mind mixing between men and women.... is haraam..

and the term of gf / bf that's not islamic term..this term used bet. only non muslim...

..........
Islam forbids a man to be alone with a non-mahram woman (one who is not his wife or a close relative) even if he is teaching her the Qur’aan, which is the Book of Allaah, That is because the Shaytaan (Satan) would come between them.

The Prophet of Islam :saw:(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan will be the third one present.”

If this woman wants to hear about Islam and read about it in detail, she can look at books about Islam that have been translated into different languages, so she can take the language that she understands, then if she understands what attracts her to Islam, she can become Muslim. If she does not understand something and wants someone to explain it to her, it is permissible (for her to speak to a man) so long as there is no khulwah (being alone with a member of the opposite sex) involved – so she could have a mahram (close relative) with her, or a group of women, and the man should be a trustworthy Muslim, or a group of trustworthy men who could sit with this woman and teach her about Islam so that she can understand it and proof be established for her. This is permitted.

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen

Allaah wants to make the Muslims pure, hence He forbade them all means that may lead to evil, immorality and obscenity. You know that if a man is alone with a woman and starts a relationship with her, this relationship often leads to bad consequences, and that being alone with a member of the opposite sex is the way to immorality and fornication. It is not permissible for a man to praise himself and say, “I will be not affected by being alone with a woman.”

Islam does not allow the opportunity for things to get out hand; it keeps people away from the steps that might lead to that in the first place. The rulings of sharee’ah were revealed for all people, it is not the point that there are cases of khulwah which do not lead to haraam actions such as touching and kissing. Why should a person expose himself to temptation?

Is it not the truth that if a man is alone with a non-mahram woman and there is no one else present, that something may cross the mind of either of them, even if nothing actually happens. But frequent meetings may indeed lead to something happening.
In this case, sharee’ah closes all doors that may lead to evil.


............

It seems that you are confusing matters of the heart with matters of ‘aqeedah and religion,

You need to keep matters of belief and religion separate from your emotions and personal desires. Adhere to the limits set by Allaah, and follow His rules, one of which is the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.[al-Noor 24:3]


Zinaa (unlawful sexual activity, fornication/adultery) is one of the major sins, concerning which Allaah and His Messenger issued a stern warning.

Allaah has warned the one who does this of a painful torment, and has stated that it is an immoral action and an evil way.

This person has to repent and seek forgiveness. His repentance will not be valid unless he gives up this evil action, regrets what he has done in the past and is determined never to do it again. Zinaa on the part of a married man is worse than zinaa on the part of one who is not married, hence the punishment for a married person who commits zinaa is stoning to death.
He should know that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”
[al-Noor 24:31].

And according to a saheeh hadeeth: “Repentance wipes out that which came before it.” Let him hasten to repent and turn to Allaah. May Allaah help him to do that and to reform himself.
.........

<wasalam>
 

Albint_Almuslima

Im Proud 2 B Me!
New Muslim,
Im sorry but i do not mean any disrespect or anything but think before you write.
Allah said An ugly Muslim is better than a beautiful non-Muslim. That is not true that Allah said for us to marry non-Muslims.
And if you are planning on marrying a non-muslim they have to be planning on converting to Islam.
And having a Girlfriend Boyfriend is Haram. Allah did not say date.
 

SHAH01

New Member
HELPING U

assalamualaikum,
i find it rude that we brovaz nd sistas have begun an argument if dating nd marrying non muslims is allowed in islam, wen the sista/brova askd for advice. did he/she say plz argue? NO!
neway... on the matter now..... brova/sista.... my advice wud be... if the sista tells the parents their will be a big fallout and tension between brova nd sista, also he will become more angry rather than having the feeling ppl are only helping. we in the 21st century understand this culture and know telling the parents such matters like this shud not rlly be dun becoz of the high form of privacy and shame on this act... if u know wat i mean.. she shud try herself the most she can... or get a brova similar to his age and kind to spk 2 him.... such situations take indeed time to sort. HOPE THIS HELPS... AND REACHES U IN THE BEST OF IMAN.
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah
New Muslim,
Im sorry but i do not mean any disrespect or anything but think before you write.
Allah said An ugly Muslim is better than a beautiful non-Muslim. That is not true that Allah said for us to marry non-Muslims.

:salam2:
It says so in the Qur'an, except it says "People of the Book" (which are Christians, Jews, and Muslims). I believe that Allah will allow us ("allow" as in no sin on us) to marry "the People of the Book" but I think it is Makrooh (extremely disliked, as is the opinion of some scholars).
:wasalam:
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah

:wasalam:
Thank you for the response.

I should've been more clear, though. I read on one site that dating is Halal under two conditions; but I have only mentioned one. The other is that the two may not be alone (I'm taking that to mean they shouldn't literally be alone with nobody around to hear them and/or see them).

The website stated that this was permissible since the couple should know each other and see if they actually love each other before getting married (which will lead to a divorce if they don't love each other).

I've also read somewhere that in the Qur'an, Allah forbids forced marriage which, in my mind, reinforces this "Halal Dating" concept.
:wasalam:
 

SHAH01

New Member
RESPONSE

ok i jus explained how it was rude of us 2 be arguin ova dis wen a sista/brova askd for advice.... but NEW MUSLIM u jus sd summit which was completely stupid.... sorry das how i had 2 put it.... bcoz i am angry now... u sd how u read sumwer "that forced mariages in islam is forbidden" "which allows the idea of halal" dating.... ok i will make dis clear... 1st did u not no that forced marriages are forbidden in islam or something.... allah ses in the quran that forcing a person 2 marry is unlawful and wrong and that 2 ppl must agree on a legal mariage for it to take place... and if sum1 disagree's than that is perfectly fine..... 2nd NO! this duz not allow ur so called halal dating... DAMN wat is gna cum out nxt halal sexual intercourse outside marriage.... astaghfirullah... this point u made that in circumstances dating is halal the answer is no.... wen this part u sd " dating is halal only if there are other ppl present etc etc" that is only for BEFORE MARIIGE.... so the couple can get to know each other and engage in a appropriate manner.... to know about eachother. for give me for losing it a bit their.... Allah will deal with my mistakes and wrongs.... i hope u do forgive me... i jus had 2 make thingz clear
 

NewMuslim

Slave of Allah
ok i jus explained how it was rude of us 2 be arguin ova dis wen a sista/brova askd for advice.... but NEW MUSLIM u jus sd summit which was completely stupid.... sorry das how i had 2 put it.... bcoz i am angry now... u sd how u read sumwer "that forced mariages in islam is forbidden" "which allows the idea of halal" dating.... ok i will make dis clear... 1st did u not no that forced marriages are forbidden in islam or something.... allah ses in the quran that forcing a person 2 marry is unlawful and wrong and that 2 ppl must agree on a legal mariage for it to take place... and if sum1 disagree's than that is perfectly fine..... 2nd NO! this duz not allow ur so called halal dating... DAMN wat is gna cum out nxt halal sexual intercourse outside marriage.... astaghfirullah... this point u made that in circumstances dating is halal the answer is no.... wen this part u sd " dating is halal only if there are other ppl present etc etc" that is only for BEFORE MARIIGE.... so the couple can get to know each other and engage in a appropriate manner.... to know about eachother. for give me for losing it a bit their.... Allah will deal with my mistakes and wrongs.... i hope u do forgive me... i jus had 2 make thingz clear

:salam2:
That's what I was saying.
:wasalam:
 
M

Mehry

Guest
:salam2:

I still didnt get any answer to my question.......and here it is about girlfriend and boyfriend and as far as the sister of that boy knows they also kissed eachother (which is HARAM!!!) and they still do it almost every day and when the sister talked with her brother the brother said it very clearly he doesnt wants to get married with the girl (his girlfriend) its just kinda playing around.......and he knows what is haram and wat is halal he only thinks hes still young to act like a real muslim boy....(he has a bad idea's in his head like a child......but my question is how can ehr sister help him.......everyones advices r welcome.

Thanx anywayz.....

:jazaak:

:wasalam:
 
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