How to help Widows and Divorcees?

Abusalim_kk

New Member
Assalamu Alaikum, All brotheers and sisters.
In our society there are many muslim women woh have become widows or divorcees . Re-amrriage has become difficult for them. They live the rest of their life as if fully lost .Now a days our society is becoming resistant to polygamy.I would like to know the sincere response of our mumina sisters whether they support if their husbands come over ready to give a life to such sisters through sharaiy nikah. Can we cite some example?
 

dianek

Junior Member
Assalamu Alaikum, All brotheers and sisters.
In our society there are many muslim women woh have become widows or divorcees . Re-amrriage has become difficult for them. They live the rest of their life as if fully lost .Now a days our society is becoming resistant to polygamy.I would like to know the sincere response of our mumina sisters whether they support if their husbands come over ready to give a life to such sisters through sharaiy nikah. Can we cite some example?

UM, I would say give her/the family charity, volunteer to do yard work for her/them......but I would be totally against any kind of polygamy! We can do for her without my husband being "involved" on an intimate level. And why do you think women divorced or widowed are "totally lost". I think it could be the start of something new and fulfilling in their lives, their children, their grand babies. I don't think having a man in your life is what defines your happiness, atleast, it shouldn't be.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Salaam,

We had the discusssion of polygamy.

I think you concern is sincere. But we women are not lost. It is just a little harder on us. We have to work more and have little time to waste.
In the case of divorced women...we need time to heal ourselves.

I believe in polygamy. It is a good solution. But most men want a 18 year old to marry. Thus, the older the divorcee or widow..the less likely she will be accepted as a bride. Most women who are divorced/widowed have children. So they come with baggage and you can not ask a woman to choose between a child and a man...it is a no-brainer...

Please do not feel sorry...afterall it is the Will of Allah subhana talla and sometimes it is a blessing to be alone.
 

dianek

Junior Member
Salaam,

We had the discusssion of polygamy.

I think you concern is sincere. But we women are not lost. It is just a little harder on us. We have to work more and have little time to waste.
In the case of divorced women...we need time to heal ourselves.

I believe in polygamy. It is a good solution. But most men want a 18 year old to marry. Thus, the older the divorcee or widow..the less likely she will be accepted as a bride. Most women who are divorced/widowed have children. So they come with baggage and you can not ask a woman to choose between a child and a man...it is a no-brainer...

Please do not feel sorry...afterall it is the Will of Allah subhana talla and sometimes it is a blessing to be alone.

Amen to that Mirajmom, but it is no secret that to me polygamy is in unacceptable for MY LIFE. I won't claim to understand how or why anyone else would want to deal with that heartache and pain. I know God permits in Islam but I also have a choice not to participate in such a situation. If I am ever divorced, again, or widowed, I will be very content alone and if some old man and I meet somewhere down the road great, if not OH WELL! It's all good, but I would not become a co-wife for any man.
 

warda A

Sister
Salaam,

We had the discusssion of polygamy.

I think you concern is sincere. But we women are not lost. It is just a little harder on us. We have to work more and have little time to waste.
In the case of divorced women...we need time to heal ourselves.

I believe in polygamy. It is a good solution. But most men want a 18 year old to marry. Thus, the older the divorcee or widow..the less likely she will be accepted as a bride. Most women who are divorced/widowed have children. So they come with baggage and you can not ask a woman to choose between a child and a man...it is a no-brainer...

Please do not feel sorry...afterall it is the Will of Allah subhana talla and sometimes it is a blessing to be alone.



:salam2:
mashalla appa you always hit the nail on the head as they say. point has been made perfectly and i agree with you, some are even not widows or divorced but unmarried but older.
no woman would choose a man over her child.
 

ummusalwa

New Member
assalaam to all muslims

my brothers and sisters. am telling you every muslim. plz dont forget to perform your salaahs. we cant be muslim without performing salaahs. and of course the highest point of this path is jihaad. plz support it. and brothers, you must go and fight for Allah. at least try for it. dont leave it set aside. cause israel still there. sorry to say that.

i love you all fee amanillah
 

~niyqaabiy~

Sami'gna wa ato'gna
:salam2:

Ways one can help widowers and divorcees:

1] If you're a brother and still single and stable, marry that sister.

2] If you're married, now ponder hard...if you can appear just in a poligamous marriage, consult your wife {not ask her permission} and do solaatul istikharah and ask Allaah for guidance.

3] If you think you and your wife don't have the strength {in Imaan of course} then "adopt" the family and help them in best of your knowledge and capacity...perhaps also help her to find a new husband.

4] If you're a sister and can't stand the idea of the poligamous marriage {even though it is halal} then help the sister in other ways, such as babysit her children so she can go out and work or something, find a nice man to marry her {through the halal ways of course}, get help from the local Islamic organization so she can get financial aide through zakaat, give her a shoulder to cry, a helping hand or a listening ear and of course ...always give her words of encouragement that this is just a test from Allaah and insha^Allaah, when Allaah takes away something, HE will replace it with something better!

Allaah knows best!

May it be pleasing to Allaah to guide us to what is right for HIS pleasure! Amiyn yaa Allaah!
 
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