Im in too much pain

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nadia_s12

New Member
Assalam-o-Alaikum all my sisters,

Ive been very upset from quiet few days. And i just don't know with whom i can share my problem. Ive been married for 8 months. I love my husband very much and i know he loves me too. But there is something that doesnt let me be contented. My husband was regular in his prayers before we got married. But after marriage i dont know what went wrong that he stopped praying and the reason that he gives is that he doesnt get time. Few months back i went to stay at my mother's home for a week for some reason and when i came back home i saw messages of a girl on his cell phone. When i asked him he lied to me but after i begged of him to speak the truth he told me that he sent the messages to a girl whom he probably knew before our marriage. It was very painful for me. It hurt me a lot. But i had to forgive him as i can't think of living without him. He was ashamed and he promised that he wouldnt do it ever again. But my trust broke and i dont feel secure of leaving him alone. I just feel if i leave him alone he would do it again. I dont know but i feel he is into something bad and i know he tells lies to me on different matters. I love him and our marriage was going perfect MashAllah but don't know where things went wrong. I feel it's all because he is getting far from Islam. I want to persuade him to be regular in prayers and i want him to speak the truth always no matter what happens. Sometimes i feel maybe im not good enough maybe i have some problem in me that made him turn to another girl in my absence. I want to be a good wife for him in every manner and i want him to be faithful to me the way im being faithful to him. I cant share my problem to my mother or even my sister who is my bestfriend because they would think my husband is bad and i dont want anyone to think like that about him. He is very loving to me in every way. He cares for me a lot. But i dont like it when he lies to me. I pray to my Allah that he becomes religious. Please pray for me. Pray for my pain to subside. And if anyone can tell me some special dua for it i would be very glad .
 
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eemaan1

Junior Member
:salam2:

This is truely sad my sister and i wish i had good advice for you, the only thing that comes to mind is that you should make lots of dua and inshaallah Allah will guide your husband.

i will make dua for you as well inshaallah.
 
BinteShafi

BinteShafi

Left long ago
Asslam u alaikum sister,

Welcome to the forum. Lots of duaa sister........... As you are and you want to be a good wife, so I am sure that as the time will go on your husband will be alright insha Allah.

I read your post before looking at your location. While I was reading this, a thought came into my mind that she must be from Pakistan. I am originally from Pakistan Alhamdolillah, so have got some ideas of similar problems prevailing in our society. I would suggest you to make lots of duaa and be consistent in being a good loving wife. Believe me sister things like this (contact with someone else) do not long last and disappear very quickly insha Allah.

Will keep you in prayers insha Allah

Wassalam,
 
B

BinDre

Bored
nadia_s12 said:
Assalam-o-Alaikum all my sisters,

Ive been very upset from quiet few days. And i just don't know with whom i can share my problem. Ive been married for 8 months. I love my husband very much and i know he loves me too. But there is something that doesnt let me be contented. My husband was regular in his prayers before we got married. But after marriage i dont know what went wrong that he stopped praying and the reason that he gives is that he doesnt get time. Few months back i went to stay at my mother's home for a week for some reason and when i came back home i saw messages of a girl on his cell phone. When i asked him he lied to me but after i begged of him to speak the truth he told me that he sent the messages to a girl whom he probably knew before our marriage. It was very painful for me. It hurt me a lot. But i had to forgive him as i can't think of living without him. He was ashamed and he promised that he wouldnt do it ever again. But my trust broke and i dont feel secure of leaving him alone. I just feel if i leave him alone he would do it again. I dont know but i feel he is into something bad and i know he tells lies to me on different matters. I love him and our marriage was going perfect MashAllah but don't know where things went wrong. I feel it's all because he is getting far from Islam. I want to persuade him to be regular in prayers and i want him to speak the truth always no matter what happens. Sometimes i feel maybe im not good enough maybe i have some problem in me that made him turn to another girl in my absence. I want to be a good wife for him in every manner and i want him to be faithful to me the way im being faithful to him. I cant share my problem to my mother or even my sister who is my bestfriend because they would think my husband is bad and i dont want anyone to think like that about him. He is very loving to me in every way. He cares for me a lot. But i dont like it when he lies to me. I pray to my Allah that he becomes religious. Please pray for me. Pray for my pain to subside. And if anyone can tell me some special dua for it i would be very glad .
Click to expand...

why dont you text this message to him, let him know your feeling.
 
MashaAllah

MashaAllah

Islam is mijn macht
Salam Oealaikoem sister,

U must tell your husband the trught, why he lies.
its not good in the islam, to lie. INshaAllah he will be good and inshaALLAh
we all go praying to Allah, to make doea's for you.

(iam sorry for my english)

asalamu alaykum
 
shichemlydia

shichemlydia

Junior Member
help.....

salam alikoum,
i feel sorry for you sister, because i feel the pains you are undergoing right now, in fact, there are a lot of bad husbands who are not faithfull to their wives, i saw a lot of them in my workplace, i just feel sorry for their faithfull wives, may allah guide them....
i guess something big has gone with your husband, possibly that is the reason why he does not pray now.
my advice to you is , keep being very good and faithfull to your husband, and show him the best of what you can of manners,
teach him not to lie that is not the deed of believers, ask him to stop sending messages, because these little deeds will lead to bigger ones, .
at the end, may allah reguide your husband to his path, and let you live in peace and faithfullness.
wa salam alikoum
 
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nadia_s12

New Member
Thank you

Thank you for replying and making me feel a little better. Thanks for the duas too. InshAllah i will keep reciting them. My husband does not have any contact with that girl anymore. Infact he changed his number the next day. He felt sorry that's why i forgave him. But once the trust breaks, it is too hard to build it again. I just can't forget that. And if he gets late or something i have all these fears and doubts that he has gone to meet another girl or something. I think ive to change my thoughts and build the trust for him again. I do want to talk to him about all this but i know he won't understand my feelings until he feels the same pain. Please do pray for me.

May Allah grow love in his heart for me. May Allah make him pious and religious. May Allah gives all the women pious and loving husbands (Ameen)
 
allah is with me

allah is with me

Rabana Wa laqal Hamd
im sory my sister ,i realy am very sad hearing this problem .i cant say anything but ya i will definetly pray in my prayers that your that everything becomes fine .AMEEN
 
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cmelbouzaidi

Junior Member
:salam2: dear sister, your problem is heartbreaking and you are in my duaa. the best thing you can do is stay strong in your faith and pray and make duaa often. also, in case there are some other mitigating circumstances (say for example this other lady may not wish you well) please read and recite Surat Al Bakarah (ayat al kursi especially),
Al Falaq and Al Naas as often as possible, as well as Al Mulk before sleeping :) aoothu billahi meena shaytani arajeem, seek refuge in Allah, dear sister. ill-wishers can do a lot of destruction in a house where one adult member neglects his prayer and your husband is the weak link :( it is not your fault that he is behaving in this manner, don't even beat yourself up about that. talk to him about returning to prayers and Islam and give him a little time. however, if a year passes and he has not shaped up, in my opinion that would be time enough. i pray that it does not come to this and that your marriage will become stronger. sometimes the first year of marriage can be the most difficult as you get used to your new life and the tone for the future is set. however, his behaviour is not acceptable in the big picture and i bet if it was you texting some guy :astag:, he would be able to see that clearly. Alhamdulillah, you are a good young lady and Allah will reward you for your patience :) please keep us posted on how things turn out.....



your sister in Islam,

catherine iman

:wasalam:
 
P

PARVEZ SHAHIDI

Junior Member
ASSSALAMU ALIKUM
SISTER, DID YOU SEE THE MIRACLE/POWER OF ALLAH SWT. ALHAMDULLIAH HE SOLVED YOUR PROBLEM THE NEXT DAY. FORGIVE YOUR HUSBAND COPLETELY AND THANK ALLAH AGAIN AND AGAIN BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE "MOST POWERFUL" WANTS FROM US ONLY, THAT IS NOT FORGETTING HIS MERCY, BE THANKFUL BY FOLLOWING HIS AND HIS MESSENGER'S(PBUH) COMMANDS AND ALSO REMEMBER SAITAN WILL START PLAYING HIS TRICKS ON YOU MORE NOW THAT YOU ARE INSIDE ALLAH SWT'S MERCY AND WILL TRY TO TAKE YOU OUT OF IT. SISTER DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN. SEEK HELP AND GUIDANCES FORM ALLAH SWT SO THAT YOU YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY CAN GO TO JUNNAHTUL FERDAWS INSHALLAH. AMEEN.
 
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safiya58

Junior Member
:salam2:

sister don´t be sad. Your husband told u he knows this girl before marriage.... and no matter what happened in the past it is not important. Important is what is now. u love him and he loves u too.... so forget that and try to trust him. It is bad that he is not praying anymore. Prayer is very important! try to talk with him about that. You wrotte that u want to be a good wife in every manner. I think ur husband is very lucky... think about ur duties as wife. Did u neglect one maybe? don´t get me wrong I don´t want to blame u. but this is the way I do my thing aswell... if I notice I do wrong then I change.... just through a crisis u can differ what is real and what is not real! after an heavy earthquake just the stabil building will not be affected all other buildings will fall down! so when u really love each other u will inshallah stay 4ever together and Allah will bless u inshaallah

:wasalam:
 
H

HotBait

New Member
Salam, my sister in Islam,
Take no immediate action that might scar the relation forever, patience is the key to success. Islam teaches us a lot of breakthroughs. The worst thing in a human is telling the LIE cause that leads to commit another crime each and every second. But he sure deserve the benefit of doubt, with that out of situation, make sure you pray when he is around and also make sure don’t make him feel that you are keeping a eye on him, that will be the worse you can do!! It is important to make him feel what you feel for him, say it out loud ... he needs to know!! Allah keeps your 70(or more, just a quote) secrets hidden from others if you keep theirs from others. Respect is earned and love grows by the span of time. Keep in the game sister; I hope best for you from the almighty LORD.

Allah is Great...keep on praying, Dua' is ultimate weapon..

Ma'Salam.
 
Z

zbhotto

Banned
Do the followings

The best treatment to remove evil is to keep a vegilence eye over him. This is the best treatment as simple as that. Donot leave him alone anywhere for a single moment. Don't indulge anything. Just love him, but keep a sharp eye on him.

Take children as soon as possible. Once He got a children, He will be ashmed of doing bad, inshallah.

I believe Devils are residing in your house. He might also be possessed by devil. So please do the following

1. Recite Quaran in every morning in your house. Satan will run away from your house.

2. Remove photos, Television, Musical instrument, toys, statue, etc that attracts disbeliever JINS.

3. Say Salam when you enter your house so that devils cannot get any shelter in your house.

4. Keep your house, and cloths neat and clean and clean it as much as you can. Devils cannot live in clean places.

5. Try to dress good and nice looking cloth. Beautifying onselves for the pleasure of his/her spouse is recommended by our prophet. This is a good thing that we should not ignore.

In short, make you house a loving place for the Mumin JIN (JINS those practice ISLAM).

May Allah make your conjugal life more amd more happy.

Amin
 
ahmed_indian

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:salam2:,

remind him of Allah, day of judgment, paradise/hell. inshallah he'll come closer to Allah and start praying and being faithful to u.

tell him that wht will ur children feel when they'll come to know that their father was like this.

may Allah help and bless u both.
 
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