How To Be A Successful Wife

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Sanaa01

Muslima
:salam2:


Tips On How To Be A Successful Wife Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favorably. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions.

1 Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home.

2 Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.

3 Make sure you serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.

4 Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colors and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewelry - in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him.

5 Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed.

6 Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission.

7 Show caring and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.
Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view.

8 Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past.

9 Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.

10 Last, but not least, remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Allah’s Messenger Sal Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “Any woman who dies and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’’
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
salaam,

my married sister says:

'if a man can't handle you at your worst, he sure doesnt deserve you at your best'
 

sazk

Banned
i didn't see any mention of hell in the hadith. so how can one assume that she will go to hell? she might still be destined for Paradise

there is a precedent to the above hadith:

the first priority is that a woman should choose her husband based on character rather than money.

if his character is good, pretty sure he's not gonna be involved in drugs and kidnappings.
 

iqzero

Junior Member
i didn't see any mention of hell in the hadith. so how can one assume that she will go to hell? she might still be destined for Paradise

there is a precedent to the above hadith:

the first priority is that a woman should choose her husband based on character rather than money.

if his character is good, pretty sure he's not gonna be involved in drugs and kidnappings.

the part about hell came from a vivid imagination with slight hate towards Islam/muslims and their beleif and way of life.
 

Sanaa01

Muslima
Well the hadith (is that what it is?) doesn't specify that the husband must be of good character, is merely says that if the wife pleases him, she will go to paradise. Depending on his character (which is not specified in the hadith) pleasing a particular husband might either be impossible, or involve highly immoral acts.



We are not talking about criminals here of course if the wife finds out that her husband is a kidnapper or killer she can get divorce and not be with him but if she supported his wrong doing and help him then they are both sinners
 

nizar83

Junior Member
aselemu aleikum

As a young man i can only say this is very much what we love in a woman..
we hate it to be compared to other men, just like women wouldnt like to be compared to other women unless its favourable

m3a selema and may ALLAH ta3ala provide us all with good muslim spouses
 

sazk

Banned
Well the hadith (is that what it is?) doesn't specify that the husband must be of good character, is merely says that if the wife pleases him, she will go to paradise. Depending on his character (which is not specified in the hadith) pleasing a particular husband might either be impossible, or involve highly immoral acts.

this hadith was said at a time and place after the prophet had already stated that a woman should choose a husband based on his character and piety to Allah.

ofcourse when Bukhari was compiling the hadith, he just obtained narrations from people, he didn't put them in chronological order. so a hadith that was said when the Prophet was 50 years old, might come first in Bukhari's book, and a hadith he said when he was 49 years old, might come later. it doesn't matter, you have to look at all the hadith on a subject before jumping to a faulty conclusion.

i see this lady hasn't studied neither the Quran nor islam yet, that's why she keeps on making colorful conclusions
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
I see a number of problems with this statement. Leaving aside for the moment the fact that the belief that the destination of one person's soul is dependent on another person is the teaching of apostates, this statement causes any number of problems, ranging from bad to worse. Among which are:

1. A woman tries her best to please her husband, but her husband is so fussy and crabby, that no matter what she does, she can't please him. So does she then go to hell?

2. A woman's husband is a very evil man, perhaps he kidnaps and kills children. If she goes to the police, her husband will not be pleased with her. So, does she then go to hell if she calls the police and puts a stop to her husband killing children?

3. Instead of calling the police, the woman decides to help her husband kidnap and kill children. Her husband is pleased with this. So, does she go to heaven, because her husband is pleased?

I would say it would be more accurate to say that pleasing your spouse is one of many factors that determine where you end up in the afterlife, and then only if it is possible, moral, and appropriate to please your spouse.

I WUD SAY ON THE FACE OF WHT U SAY I AGREE.BUT DEAR SISTER SEE
OBVIOUSLY IT REFERS TO A NORMAL SITUATION,REGARDING THE NORMAL EXPECTATIONS OF A HUSBAND FROM HIS WIFE.

ALSO TRUST ME A MAN WHO DOES KILLING ETC WOULD NEVER BE PLEASED WITH HIMSELF LET ALONE HIS WIFE.
IF SHE IS GOOD SHELL LEAVE HIM AND FIND SMBY ELSE SO WHEN SHE DIES HER HUSBAND IS PLEASED WITH HER

and a killing and kidnapping man is most likely to die before his wife. so the beauty of the hadith it wont apply to her.
hope ur heart opens to the truth and ur intelligent mind accepts it
i
 

allah is with me

Rabana Wa laqal Hamd
:salam2:


Tips On How To Be A Successful Wife Be grateful to your husband. Remind yourself that it’s a tough world out there and your husband works very hard to provide for you. So whatever you do, don’t compare him to other men, unless it is favorably. Let him know that you appreciate his efforts, not just through your words, but also your actions.

1 Be sensitive to his moods, feelings and needs. For example, don’t start complaining or burden him with problems as soon as he comes home; rather, welcome him and make him feel good to be home.

2 Be cheerful and humorous, smile often, don’t feel shy to be affectionate with your husband and make him feel really happy to be around you. Express your love frequently and creatively, rather than waiting for him to do so first.

3 Make sure you serve him the foods he likes, remembering that variety is the spice of life. Try to eat together as this fosters companionship.

4 Dress up for your husband at home. Wear the colors and clothes that he likes to see you in and use makeup, perfume, jewelry - in short, whatever it takes to be attractive to him.

5 Do things together or at least allocate some time of the day to give him your undivided attention. Be sincere in appreciating him, show interest in his day, his activities, his thoughts and opinions. Give him advice and comfort him when needed.

6 Spend your husband’s money carefully and try to keep him informed of where his money is being spent. Remember not to spend large amounts of his money without his permission.

7 Show caring and concern for his relatives as this is a sure way of securing a place in his heart. Never object when he spends on them, as this is a source of abundance in provision and increase in life span.
Don’t fly into a rage when you have a difference of opinion or he criticizes you. Stay calm, control your tongue and don’t challenge your husband’s authority at that time. Use your wisdom, tactics and powers of persuasion later to try to explain your point of view.

8 Believe the best, not the worst about him. Be forgiving and accept apologies graciously rather than holding grudges and bringing up mistakes of the past.

9 Show respect for your husband by not divulging your private and confidential issues to others, or by complaining about him to people or discussing your marital problems with those who cannot help you.

10 Last, but not least, remember that your husband is the head of the family and as long as obedience to him does not entail any sin, it is your duty to obey him. Allah’s Messenger Sal Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: “Any woman who dies and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’’
...
thanks sister... :blackhijab: (jasakallah)
 

*Sana*

.~.Slave of Allah.~.
Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarahakaatuh,

Beautiful post! Jazaka Allah Khayr for sharing.

I thought I would share the following picture with you. LOL! I found it cute. I would say there is a matriachy in that lion's den :tongue:

SafeRedirect.aspx


Wasalaam :)
 

*Sana*

.~.Slave of Allah.~.
^ Hmm ... odd the picture didn't come up! :s Or is it that I can't see it because of my dodgy internet...
 

BigAk

Junior Member
I see a number of problems with this statement. Leaving aside for the moment the fact that the belief that the destination of one person's soul is dependent on another person is the teaching of apostates, this statement causes any number of problems, ranging from bad to worse. Among which are:

1. A woman tries her best to please her husband, but her husband is so fussy and crabby, that no matter what she does, she can't please him. So does she then go to hell?

2. A woman's husband is a very evil man, perhaps he kidnaps and kills children. If she goes to the police, her husband will not be pleased with her. So, does she then go to hell if she calls the police and puts a stop to her husband killing children?

3. Instead of calling the police, the woman decides to help her husband kidnap and kill children. Her husband is pleased with this. So, does she go to heaven, because her husband is pleased?

I would say it would be more accurate to say that pleasing your spouse is one of many factors that determine where you end up in the afterlife, and then only if it is possible, moral, and appropriate to please your spouse.

Before you engage in dialog in the matters of Islam, I suggest that you study Islam first.. In all your dialogs you are missing key points that are known as "given". Therefore, when you convey your opinions in the varous threads, you're always missing very important pre-facts that are considered "known" to the typical Muslim. You're like someone who comes in very late for some class in college where you have missed weeks of discussions, data, and knowledge; then you open your mouth and start behaving like an expert on the subject. You often make very very little sense.

This is why I don't answer most of your posts anymore with any intention of educating you.. When I read your posts, I could literally find something you lack in knowledge in every few sentences you write. This can take up many threads and threads to start for each sentence. The problem is compounded with the fact that you are so closed minded and have already made up your mind about Islam. It makes the job impossible to convey anything to you and actually get anywhere productive. I don't even try with you anymore.

Have you actually opened the Quran and read it with any thought at all??

.
 

Mohsin

abdu'Allah
I see a number of problems with this statement. Leaving aside for the moment the fact that the belief that the destination of one person's soul is dependent on another person is the teaching of apostates, this statement causes any number of problems, ranging from bad to worse. Among which are:

1. A woman tries her best to please her husband, but her husband is so fussy and crabby, that no matter what she does, she can't please him. So does she then go to hell?

2. A woman's husband is a very evil man, perhaps he kidnaps and kills children. If she goes to the police, her husband will not be pleased with her. So, does she then go to hell if she calls the police and puts a stop to her husband killing children?

3. Instead of calling the police, the woman decides to help her husband kidnap and kill children. Her husband is pleased with this. So, does she go to heaven, because her husband is pleased?

I would say it would be more accurate to say that pleasing your spouse is one of many factors that determine where you end up in the afterlife, and then only if it is possible, moral, and appropriate to please your spouse.
Hey as the brother above mentioned you are missing a lot of pre-facts that are known to Muslims when they read something. One of the basic and foremost principle in Islam is this.
“There is no obedience of the creation wherein there is disobedience to the Creator.”
(Musnad Ahmad).
I am quite sure that you at least do not think God to think the way you mentioned above. So a Muslim is not required to obey anyone where there is diobedience of Allah. I quote another hadith to make it even clearer.
Sayyiduna Abd Allah ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “It is necessary upon a Muslim to listen to and obey the ruler, as long as one is not ordered to carry out a sin. If he is commanded to commit a sin, then there is no adherence and obedience.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 2796 & Sunan Tirmidhi)
Just try once seeing Islam in a positive way. That will help :)
 

um muhammad al-mahdi

لا اله الا الله محمد رسول الله
Staff member
:salam2:

what's wrong with this post now? Why should we try to find something "wrong" in an advice for the muslim women??? I really don't understand.

The thread is closed.
 
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