I need some insight

Hi,

I figured that in the process of asking help for myself others could also benefit from thsi thread, so I started a new one. Here's my question: I am 21 years old. At one point of my life long ago I used to pray with a lot of devotion. Once when I was ill and I could not get up from bed I still didn't want to miss my prayer so I got up and tried to pray but could not. I feel really abd thinking about that and I feel as if I can be a devoted worshipper.

I feel Eman has left my heart and mind. I have stopped praying for a long time now and it bothers me very much. I want to be a worthy worshipper. I do not want to be worthy as in receiving rewards (which I dont mind as well), but I want to be worthy because I was created for a purpose and that purpose was to pray and follow the five pillars. I want to be able to stand up and say I have fullfilled my duty. My heart is clouded my grief and depression. I dont want to indulge on self-pity here. I feel my heart is blackened by sins and hopelessness.

I want to become a Muslim again. I donot think theres anything called a practicing Mulsim. You either practice or you are not a Muslim at all. I want to start believing in Islam again. My wishes are these:

1. I want to start praying not because I am scared that I will go to hell. I dont mind being punished, I mean I am not saying that I dont believe I will be punished or that the punishment isn't great or wouldn't be able to do anything to me.

2. I want to believe just for the sake of believing and for the sake of praying and worshipping.

3. I want to stop feeling upset. I want a lot of Eman, which stops me from indulging myself in hatred and feeling pain.

4. I want to feel as if there are other lessons that we are supposed to learn from being here in this world. Lessons to treat others equally with love etc.

5. I want to be able to treat othres with respect and space and not feel psychotic or like a psycho. I want to be able to accept others decisions and wants and respect these.

If anyone can help me with these or have any suggestions, references to any books or anything at all that might lead me to the right path please help me.

Thank you.
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Assalaamu'Alaykum,

Well it is an excellent that you are aiming to reform your actions, may Allaah make this easy for you. Ameen.

First of all, I recommend you to the thread (link is below) Stories of Repentance, Insha'Allaah read some of the beautiful stories of repentance which we can all take inspiration from,

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38408

Secondly, remember death, the manner in which our souls will be taken, the squeezing in the grave. There is no power or might except Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala). Insha'Allaah refer to the thread below,

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50825

Thirdly, always be conscious of Allaah (the Almighty), He is All-Seer and All-Knower. When an inclination of sin arises fight with seeking refuge in Allaah from the Shaytaan. Remeber Him, who will resurrect us all on that day and we will be brought to account on that day. Subhaan'Allaah.

I will leave it at that. Insha'Allaah I am sure other brothers and sisters will post with link to existing thread's and their own advice.

Insha'Allaah get back into the habit of praying five times a day in congregation.

I hope the links to the two thread's are useful.

Walaykum Salaam.
 

tj0050

Junior Member
hey

u know i am just like you i hit a few bumps u know but all i can say is go with your heart you know do what u think is right if this feals right to you than do it i mean i had a few question about god u know but in the end i found that this was the thing for me so i will pray for you :) salam
 

ruki4eva

Muslim Unity...
:salam2:
ur not the only one subhanallah i hope things become much easier for u inshallah i will keep u in my duas i once thought i won't be able to pray bcoz of the things i was xperiencin & i jus broke down cried & cried thinkin nothin cud help it was so hard but Allahs there he sends trials to test u i had to be patient i didn't give up praying thats one thing i will never give up inshallah remember death awaits u every second & 1 day u will have to face almighty Allah think bout the hell fire...u hav 2 have that fear inside ur heart & inshallah ul be successful remember if u listen 2 shaythans 1 whisper he'l becum ur ruler. Allah swt gives u blessings which u can't even count subhanallah he gave u the tawfeeq to stand, sit, eat laugh think about it he created u for a purpose which is to worship him & please him throughout this life & if u do so he will reward u with paradise inshallah. May Allah swt guide u all the way thru and protect u & keep u under his special care always inshallah Ameen
HOPE U START GETTING UR GOOD HABITS BACK INSHALLAH I NO ITS NOT EASY BUT SLOWLY INSHALLAH. Inshallah u start prayin again :hearts: take care :wasalam:
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
:salam2:
If you make the prophet :saw: as an example to follow then you will be blessed the more you follow the more the blessing and mercy you feel , just start and the gates will be widly open .....start praying with sincerity. Follow as much as you can , reform your heart by faith and good deeds. Your heart is created to love Allah swt don`t ruin it by turning away. Allah bless you.
 

guidemetojannah

New Member
Your not the only 1!

I wish i could say it was something that i havent experienced but that would be lying. I often feel as though my imaan is lacking and that even making salah turns out to be the most difficult thing even though it should be the most easiest thing i should do. i find that i make time for wordly things but make a 101 excuses for a simple thing like salah..........like you am tired of it, but i feel theres always something trying to hold be back. I too want to be a good muslimah......... i want to deciate my life to my deen but its easier said than done but why is it so hard?????????????? i often prioritise going to a friends house oven praying.......i know its wrong but i feel my heart has become so hard that sometimes i don't care and its making me sad. Am fed up of this duniya the attitude of lets live life to the max and enjoy it!!

am wondering whether as a group of muslims on tti we could set goals for each other and feedback each week or every 2 weeks on what we achieved in the way of deen and push each other to become better muslims.

If anyone is interested or can suggest goals please let me know.
Wasalaam
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Assalaamu'Alaykum,

Sister ^, I think the the link to the thread of death, the grave, the squeezing that everyone will have to go through, the questioning by Munkar and Nakeer, the fact you will be asked about the Prayer first, the stupor of death which everyone will go through, the terror on the Day of Resurrection and so on, is a good read which will help you and me to fear Allaah.

For example taken from the thread (the link is the second post),

Presence of Shaytaan at the Time of Death.

When death comes, the Shaytaan is keen not to let the person escape from him. Muslim narrated from Jaabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Messenger of Allah :saw: said:

"The Shaytaan is present with anyone of you in all his affairs. He is present even when he is eating, so if any one of you drops a piece of food, let him clean off any dirt that may be on it and eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytaan. When he has finished eating, let him lick his fingers, for he does not know in which part of the good the barakah (blessing) his."


Our scholars mentioned that during those critical moments (of death), the Shaytaan comes to a person in the form of his father or mother, or some other loved one who sincerely care for him, advising him and calling him to follow Juadaism or Christianity or some other principles that go against Islam. Then those for whom Allah has decreed doom deviate (from the truth).

(Tadhkirat al-Qurtubi, 33)

Subhaan'Allaah,

'Abdullah, the son of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal said:

"My father was dying, and I had in my hand a piece of cloth with which to bind his beard. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, and gesturing with his hand to say 'No, no.' He did this several times, and I said to him, 'O' my father, what was that?'


He said,

'The Shaytaan was standing near me, biting his fingertips (i.e. trying hard) and saying, 'Come on, Ahmad!' and I was saying 'No, no,' - until he died."

(Ibid, 34)

Qurturbi said:

"I heard our shaykh, Imam Abul-'Abbaas Ahmad ibn 'Umar al-Qurturbi, saying, 'I visited a brother of our shaykh, Abu Ja'far Ahmad ibn Muhammad al-Qurturbi in Qurtubah (Cordova), when he was dying. It was said to him, "Say Laa ilaaha illallah," and he was saying "No, no." When he came to consciousness, we mentioned that to him.

He said,


"Two devils came to me on my right and my left. One of them was saying, 'Die as a Jew, for it is the best of religions,' and the other was saying, 'Die as a Christian, for it is the best of religions,' and I was saying to them, 'No, no'''...''''

(Same source)

Now is our time to strive and do as many good deeds as we can because when death comes, there will be no chance.

When death comes, a person will wish to go back to this world, so that if he was a kaafir he might become Muslim, and if he was a sinner he might repent.

Until, when death comes to one of them (those who join partners with Allah), he says: 'My Lord! Send me back So that I may do good in that which I have left behind!' No! It is but a word that he speaks; and behind them is a Barzakh (a barrier) until the Day when they will be resurrected.


(Qur'aan 23: 99-100)

Faith will not be accepted when death comes, and repentance will be of no avail once the death rattle sounds in the throat.

Allah accepts only the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and foolishness and repent soon afterwards; it is they whom Allah will forgive and Allah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise. And of no effect is the repentace of those who continue to do evil deeds until death faces one of them and he says: 'Now I repent;' nor of those who die while they are disbelievers. For them We have prepared a painful torment.


(Qur'aan 4: 17-18)


I will leave you with the quote's below,

Ad-Dhahabi said in Al-Kabaa'ir:

"Mujaahid said: there is no one who dies, but his companions with whom he used to sit appear to him. One of those people who used to play chess was dying, and it was said to him, 'Say Laa ilaaha illAllaah.'


He said,

'Checkmate!'


Then he died. The words that he used to say in his life whilst playing chess came to his tongue, instead of uttering the word of Tawheed, he said

'Checkmate!'"


It is narrated that another man used to sit with wine-drinkers. When he was dying, a man came and urged him to say the shahaadah. He said to him,

'Drink and pour me some,' then he died.

There is no power and no strength except with Allah, the Exalted, the Almighty.

(Al-Kabaa'ir by Ad-Dhahabi, p. 91)

Is this how you want your end to be? Remember, you pray because Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala) has created us and the Jinn that we worship Him and Him Alone.

I really hope this isn't an over flow of information. Try to get back into the habit of praying, realise that Allaah is All-Knower and Ever-Watchful.

Guard your prayer as much as you can and try to pray it on time.

Walaykum Salaam.
 

tj0050

Junior Member
salam

hellow thought i would see how u where doing hope everything is well with you well i have to go salam
 
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