I fear of jahannam catch me!!!!!!!!!!!Please help me

[saadbin]

As salamalikum brother&sister,

Please help me, otherwise may be because of fear i get heart attack.

I am practicing muslim more and less i am obeying as per Allahs and his Rasul(pbuh) command.

But only fear make my blood cold, that my mother is not happy with me.
I am doing everything for her, But reason is that i did love marriage with Hindu girl after she accepting Islam and Alhamdulillah my wife also practicing Muslim.
But problem is that my mother don't like our marriage.She thought i marry with her choice girl and Muslim born girl.
So now she irritate with poison world to my wife everyday and my wife complain me about that, but i didn't know what shall i do??????
how to fulfill Allah's rights????
My mother rights??????
My wife Rights??????

My mother unhappy and angry on me because of my marriage, i ask forgiveness also from her she forgive me also but after some days she again express her felling she don't like what i done (love marriage)

What shall I do????

Please help me out otherwise I am going jahanam according this hadith:-

At the time of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying ALLAH by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and said, 'My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of ALLAH, about his condition.'

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) sent for Ammar, Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. They went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, 'LA ILLAHA ILLA Allah,' but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.

The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) asked, 'Is either of his parents alive?'
He was told, 'Messenger of ALLAH, his mother is, but she is very old.'

The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (if she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her.

The Prophet's messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet's message. She said, 'May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!'

She stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet(sallallahu alahi wa sallam) and greeted him. The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) returned her greeting and said to her, 'Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise ALLAH Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?'

She replied, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity.'

The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said, 'And what about yourself?'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, I am angry with him.'

He said, 'Why?'

She replied, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me.'

Allah's Messenger said, 'Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.'

He then turned to Bilal and said, 'Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood.'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, what do you plan to do?' He replied, 'I will burn him in front of your eyes.'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!'

He said, 'Umm Alqamah, ALLAH's punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want ALLAH to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him!'

Thereupon she said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, I call upon ALLAH Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.'

ALLAH's Messenger said, 'Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, 'LA ILLAHA ILLA ALLAH' or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart.'

Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, 'LA ILLAH ILLA ALLAH.'

Bilal remarked, 'It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed.'

Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave and said, 'You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother, ALLAH and His angels and all the people curse him! ALLAH does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward ALLAH, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because ALLAH's pleasure consists in her pleasure and ALLAH's anger consists in her anger.'

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Wa'alaikumusalam.

Brother, be patient with the situation. Not sure whether I can give you a good advise, forgive me if it is not. I know you are stuck between two most important women in your life. Always mother first after Allah and His Rasool. Discuss with your wife and make her understand that you are not in favour of your mom in term of her treatment towards your wife but because as a muslim you have to obey Allah and Rasool, you are not able to do anything to stop your mom from hurting your wife's feelings. Take her out frequently and with this opportunity show to your wife how much you love her and therefore she will realise you are trying to be a good son to your mom and husband to your wife.

Meantime, keep your mom and your wife in your prayers and dua. Perhaps you wake up at nights for tahajjud and make supplication to Allah for His helps, inshAllah.

May Allah make things easy for you inshAllah.

Pls forgive me if ever I wronged you brother.

 

[Muslim619]

Fist things first. Obey Allah. And ask Allah to forgive the situation. I think from reading your story, your mother doesn't approve of your wife due to her being a revert. Actually, every human is born Muslim, just some of us aren't raised in an Islamic upbringing. Listen, We all are reverts in one way or another into Islam. Because at some point all Muslims have to declare faith, born into or not. We all have to make a conscious decision to accept what Allah has given to us. Bring that point to her and insha`Allah she will understand and accept her. But always show forgiveness toward both of them, don't let shaytan win any battle. And forgive me if I offended anyone, my intention was for good. Allah knows best.

 

[Islam!!yay]

:salam2:

Im sorry about your problem but I dont believe the prophet PBUH ,a merciful man, did that.

 

[Nurain]

Salam

Did what? Wanting to burn Alqamah? Sure he did. It is better if Alqamah feels pain in dunya than Allaah's punishment in the hereafter, had Alqamah's mother did not forgive him.

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:

Just like children are supposed to please their parents and honor them..parents are to do the same *for their children*..family life is not a one-way street going in one direction..it's all about justice *for all sides* in this deen!...you need to have someone with *influence over your mother* speak to her and tell her that perhaps she's being too judgmental (pardon me if this sounds too honest)..and speak of the positives of your marriage..at least you're married to someone you love which means you feel an emotional comfort with her..isn't that good enough?..and it's not like your wife is still a non-Muslim..according to what you said..mashallah she practices as well..so I don't know why your mom is being stubborn..have someone intercede and talk to her and get her to think of what's best *for you* as well you're her son not her enemy os she'd cause you all this distress..la hawla wala qowta illa billah..some parents read the verses and hadiths about honoring the parents and they COMPLETELY ABUSE them!..ao'otho billah!..find that person who can talk to her soon..and hang on tightly to the ropes of patience until things get solved..

May Allah solve your problems and fill your life with happiness and comfort..Ameen

 

[umromeissa]

dear brother salam aleeikum
First of all , just remember that your wife is a convert , she must count on you! I don t kow her situation maybe their parents don t accept. Anyway , if your mother doesn t accept the situation ! what are you going to do ???? Divorced astaghfillallah ???? your mother is the one to blame because her behaviour sounds horrible with you poor wife !
You have to be fair , your mother even she s your mother is WRONG . You have to be firm with her , telling her that you chose this wife , what is done is done so ... and tell her that she didn t have the right to harass you r wife that way . As a muslim , you serach whajlilah not saticfaction of human being ! And tell her about the huge reward for those who convert to islam and those who help them in this way . That s what you did , so brother be firm , support your wife and tell your mother that you love her very much but she has to respect you r choice and above all your wife .

 

[Nurain]

Salam brother

It's me again. Remind your mother of the 6th pillar of eeman. Believe in pre-destination by Allaah!!

 

[abumuhammad]

As salamalikum brother&sister,

Please help me, otherwise may be because of fear i get heart attack.

I am practicing muslim more and less i am obeying as per Allahs and his Rasul(pbuh) command.

But only fear make my blood cold, that my mother is not happy with me.
I am doing everything for her, But reason is that i did love marriage with Hindu girl after she accepting Islam and Alhamdulillah my wife also practicing Muslim.
But problem is that my mother don't like our marriage.She thought i marry with her choice girl and Muslim born girl.
So now she irritate with poison world to my wife everyday and my wife complain me about that, but i didn't know what shall i do??????
how to fulfill Allah's rights????
My mother rights??????
My wife Rights??????

My mother unhappy and angry on me because of my marriage, i ask forgiveness also from her she forgive me also but after some days she again express her felling she don't like what i done (love marriage)

What shall I do????

Please help me out otherwise I am going jahanam according this hadith:-

At the time of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam), there was a young man named Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying ALLAH by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and said, 'My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of ALLAH, about his condition.'

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) sent for Ammar, Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. They went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, 'LA ILLAHA ILLA Allah,' but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah.

The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) asked, 'Is either of his parents alive?'
He was told, 'Messenger of ALLAH, his mother is, but she is very old.'

The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (if she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her.

The Prophet's messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet's message. She said, 'May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!'

She stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet(sallallahu alahi wa sallam) and greeted him. The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) returned her greeting and said to her, 'Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise ALLAH Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?'

She replied, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity.'

The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said, 'And what about yourself?'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, I am angry with him.'

He said, 'Why?'

She replied, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me.'

Allah's Messenger said, 'Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah's tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.'

He then turned to Bilal and said, 'Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood.'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, what do you plan to do?' He replied, 'I will burn him in front of your eyes.'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!'

He said, 'Umm Alqamah, ALLAH's punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want ALLAH to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him!'

Thereupon she said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, I call upon ALLAH Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.'

ALLAH's Messenger said, 'Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, 'LA ILLAHA ILLA ALLAH' or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart.'

Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, 'LA ILLAH ILLA ALLAH.'

Bilal remarked, 'It is surely true that while Alqamah's mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed.'

Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave and said, 'You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother, ALLAH and His angels and all the people curse him! ALLAH does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward ALLAH, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because ALLAH's pleasure consists in her pleasure and ALLAH's anger consists in her anger.'

Hello SaadBin

I am a student of an Islamic doing and Alhamdulillah and InshaAllah, I intend to complete my Specialization in Fiqh. I have read you situation in you message through.

There are three things to be taken saperately....!
1. Is its permissible to marry without parents consent?
The answer is yes. However its afzal to have there consent too. If you like someone you can marry him/her as muslim law doesnt prohibit it. The above hateeth not giving any indication regarding the fact about permission of Marriage.
2. Do you distinguish between you wife and your mother by giving ones right to the other or do you balance between them?
If the answer is yes then her angry attitude with not request you.

the daleel is in the same hadeeth:
The Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said, 'And what about yourself?'

She said, 'Messenger of ALLAH, I am angry with him.'

He said, 'Why?'

She replied, 'Messenger of ALLAH, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me.'

3. Whats the solution?

The solution is in the same hadeeth. if you read it carefully, that old lady forgave it when rasool ulllah s.a.w made her understand.

I recommend that you make you mother understand it very politily with doing into heavy load of dicussion. And try to explain it to her how she forgave her son on the request of Rasool Ullah. And try to expalin it to here that you are not going to dis obey her in any respect. she will get her right in any case.

Wassalamualaikum

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

ya dude make her understand -tell her how we shud be nic to converts sawab and all.

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

secondly was it a love maRriage - i mean did ur wife first love u and then acceept islam that is to say she accepted islam for ur sake or ?
i think this is the case.so maybe ur mother aint sure about her faith and how the kids wud grow up to be and so on.
or maybe her ego is hurt.each mother does dream of marrying of their kids ,i mean they have dreams and i think she is trying to come to terms with the fact u did that.
i think it wud be great if u and ur wife cud do some islamic work together.

 

[AZAM_SIDDIQUI]

PLEASE KEEP US TUNED COZ U GOT US WORRIED.

 

[BinteShafi]

Asslam u Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakathu brother,

• You are practicing brother masha Allah.
• You are very well aware of the status of a Mother.
• You have asked your mother for forgiveness
• You are afraid of Allah's punishment so much so that you feel that physically Alhamdolillah.
• You are desperately seeking a way to make your mother happy.
• Your mother had forgiven you at some point.
• You have made one human to embrace Islam and protect herself from the fire of Hell ...SubhanAllah.

Having said that....I hope and pray to Allah that HE will forgive you and you will be saved from jahannum insha Allah. May Allah grant you Jannat ul Firdous. May Allah give true guidance to your mother and to everyone else in your family and to every Muslim.

I would suggest you to try acting upon following advice which was given to another brother and I copied from IslamQA

You should realize that it is only with love that you change the situation between your mother and your wife The mother needs more reassurance that her son loves her and that his love, respect and kind treatment of her have not changed. Indeed, you have to try to increase these feelings by repeatedly, giving her gifts and trying to make her happy with kind words and fulfilling her wishes. Then she will begin to calm down and gradually the problems that she has caused will begin to ease off.

We say to your wife: Allaah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly) then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend”[Fussilat 41:34].

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Charity does not decrease wealth. No one forgives, but Allaah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah raises him in status.” Narrated by Muslim (2588)

According to another hadeeth: “No one is wronged and bears it with patience but Allaah will increase him in honour.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2325) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.

How many problems can be solved if the wife trains herself to adopt this attitude, seeking to attain Allaah’s pleasure and to avoid problems for her husband and to give him peace of mind at home?

She should try to regard her mother-in-law as being like her own mother, and put up with her anger and forgive her bad treatment. This will reduce problems and confrontation, to a large extent.

How many problems will be reduced, and even ended, by Allaah’s leave, if the wife can seek suitable opportunities to give nice gifts to your mother, even if there are some hard feelings between them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give gifts to one another, you will love one another.” Narrated by Abu Ya’la and classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

With regard to yourself, you have to open your heart to honouring and loving your mother a great deal, whilst also loving your wife and being happy with her. If you succeed, that is the beginning of the solution, but if you fail, the suffering will continue and increase. This matter needs you to be patient and to learn, for man is able to learn how to show feelings of friendship and love just as he is able to learn any other skill in this life.

In all of that, it is essential that you adhere to the guidelines that have been set out by Islam. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour” [al-Isra’ 17:23]

“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do” [Luqmaan 31:15]

The most important of these guidelines that Islam has set out is protecting your wife’s rights and respecting her feelings and wishes, and not being unfair to her or wronging her in order to fulfil your mother’s rights. You should not obey your mother if she tells you to leave your wife, and it is not permissible for you to believe what she accuses your wife of falsely, especially if your wife is of good character and religiously committed. She is a trust (amaanah) that has been given to you, so you have to protect this trust.

If we had the opportunity to speak to your mother, we would say to her:

Dear mother, you have carried and borne your son, you have raised him with a great deal of selflessness and effort on your part, so do not spoil your kindness to your son by making his life difficult. Treat this wife whom your son has chosen for himself and. Think about how you would like your daughter to be treated by her husband and family, and treat her in that way. Strive to be kind as our Lord has commanded us (interpretation of the meaning): “and do good. Truly, Allaah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good-doers)” [al-Baqarah 2:195].

If you are unable to be kind, then at least be fair. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“and be equitable. Verily, Allaah loves those who are the equitable”[al-Hujuraat 49:9].

Beware of wrongdoing. It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Wrongdoing will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection.” Agreed upon.

We ask Allaah to set your affairs straight and to reconcile between you, and to bless us and you with a good life in this world and in the Hereafter.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

 

[jalvlal]

a qn

[/FONTAssalmualikum wrwb
I wanna ask something.... I dont know if its the accurate location to ask or not but i am new here... so plz pardon me...
Well , the qn is , if its okay that ...
if a sunni boy marry a shiite girl?
Thanks in advance...
Jazak ALLAH]

 

[almanar]

Assalamualaikum.
May Allah help u dear brother.

 

[Münadi]

selamunaleyküm my brother ıf you are afraid of ALLAH this is very good. we should be careful ıf we listen to ALLAH s order and ıf we live like resulllalah we will go to heaven inşallah ı hope so we will meet there

 

[safiya58]

Salam

Did what? Wanting to burn Alqamah? Sure he did. It is better if Alqamah feels pain in dunya than Allaah's punishment in the hereafter, had Alqamah's mother did not forgive him.

:salam2:

just to make it clear. No He saw didn´t want to burn him. He saw just wanted to persuade the mother to forgive her son that he can enter jannah. He saw knoe that she can not bear to see her son burning.... and now imagine jahannam it is much more worse then any punishment in this world... we can not understand uz we don´t see it... He saw acted like that to make her understand that jahannam is painfull... lol I post it the 3. time now that the prophet saw didn´t want to burn anyone...

 

[BinteShafi]

:salam2:

I am extremely amazed on the way the hadith was understood .....How easily sometime we draw conclusions and react out of our own ignorance. I wish I could express myself....I was literally hurt

This is a lesson for all of us that instead of denying the authenticity of beautiful ahadith and verses, we need to ask questions...we need to learn...we need to correct ourselves.

Jazaki Allahu khayra sister Safiya

 

[Nurain]

:salam2:

I am extremely amazed on the way the hadith was understood .....How easily sometime we draw conclusions and react out of our own ignorance. I wish I could express myself....I was literally hurt

This is a lesson for all of us that instead of denying the authenticity of beautiful ahadith and verses, we need to ask questions...we need to learn...we need to correct ourselves.

Jazaki Allahu khayra sister Safiya

Salam sis Safiya and sis BintShafi

I am sorry if I have said the wrong things. Please forgive me.

:shymuslima1:

Thank you for the clarification of the hadith jazakAllaah khair.

 

[BinteShafi]

Wa Alaikum Salam sister Nurain,

I was not referring to you at all...rather you are the only one who tried to explain (as per your own understanding) in a positive way to brother. You should have not said sorry.

I love you for the sake of Allah SWT. May Allah give us all wisdom and true understanding of HIS religion. Ameen.

Asslam u Alaikum