Knives and Forks

Believer1985

Junior Member
Salam to all,

This issue refelects many people living in the West. I am British and my husband is Pakistani. All my life, when using a knife a fork I have held the fork in my left hand, purey because it was the way in which I was raised. I know well that a Muslim should eat with his/her right hand, but when it comes to knives and forks, I hold my knife in my right hand because i find it easier to control, whereas if i held knife in my left hand and fork in my right i know I'd cause a mess everywhere. My husband has threatened to hit me on this issue, but i was wondering if Im causing a haram act while doing this. IS this sinful or is it just something small that doesnt even matter?

Wasalam
 

Ashima33

Junior Member
Salaam,

uuuuuuuum? I kind of think it's a bigger issue that your husband threatened to hit you over this? I mean... just try to eat with your right hand... I mess up sometimes, too, but I just use both hands with most things... so, I try to keep it in mind as it is Sunnah. But it's definitely NOT Sunnah to threaten to hit your wife.

Wasalaam.
 

Nurain

Junior Member
Asssalamu alaykum

A recent post by sister Saima Abdullah:

Do not eat & drink with "Left Hand"

[Sahih Muslim: Volume 3, Book 23, Number 5007]

Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Radi Allah Anhu) reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu- alleihi-wasallam) having said:
"Do not eat with your left hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand."

[Sahih Muslim: Volume 3, Book 23, Number 5008]

Ibn 'Umar (Radi Allah Anhu) reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu- alleihi-wasallam) as saying:
"When any one of you intends to eat (meal), he should eat with his right hand. and when he (intends) to drink he should drink with his right hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand."

[Sahih Muslim: Volume 3, Book 23, Number 5010]

Salim (Radi Allah Anhu), on the authority of his father, reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu- alleihi-wasallam) as saying:
"None of you should eat with his left hand and drink with that (left hand), for the Satan eats with left hand and drinks with that (hand). Nafi' has made this addition in that:" Do not take up anything with that (left hand) and do not give anything with that."

[Sahih Muslim: Volume 3, Book 23, Number 5012]

'Umar b. Abu Salama (Radi Allah Anhu) reported: I was under the care of Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu- alleihi-wasallam), and as my hand used to roam about in the dish he said to me:
"Boy, mention the name of Allah, and eat with your right hand and eat from what is near to you."

Our Lord! accept from us; surely Thou art the Hearing, the Knowing

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55927
 

Nurain

Junior Member
But sis, too HIT you cos you are eating with left hand? If you are a revert sister, it is understandable. Like a child which needs to be taught and put into practise. The real issue is to HIT YOU with something so menial?

Take care sis xx
 
practice makes perfect.

when i was in the army, they used make us use the knife in the left hand and fork in the right in the mess. i became used to it eventually.

so speaking from my own experience, i think you can get it after a few times. might feel awkward but you'll find the way.
 

zbhotto

Banned
Hussain Ye, A mayalysian scholar in his lecture in Peace TV conference told that Eating with right hand is sunnah, But Eating with bare right hand (i.e., without spoon, etc) is not required. You can use spoon but you shuld use spoon with right hand.

I am scared to hear about hitting. This is not part of Sunnah. You should tell your Husband the following hadith

'' A woman came to Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) and told him that two person has proposed me, whom should I marry. Then prophet (pbuh) said, '' Dont marry that person because he is poor, and dont marry the other one because he beats woman. Then Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself advise her to marry a third person .......'' I dont know the source.

In otherwords, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advise her not to marry both of them. Rather He forward a proposal of a third person to her. I have heard this hadeth in a peacetv.in conference.


May Allah increase love and mutual understanding between you and your Husband.

Salam
 

Nurain

Junior Member
Hussain Ye, A mayalysian scholar in his lecture in Peace TV conference told that Eating with right hand is sunnah, But Eating with bare right hand (i.e., without spoon, etc) is not required. You can use spoon but you shuld use spoon with right hand.

I am scared to hear about hitting. This is not part of Sunnah. You should tell your Husband the following hadith

'' A woman came to Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) and told him that two person has proposed me, whom should I marry. Then prophet (pbuh) said, '' Dont marry that person because he is poor, and dont marry the other one because he beats woman. Then Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself advise her to marry a third person .......'' I dont know the source.

In otherwords, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advise her not to marry both of them. Rather He forward a proposal of a third person to her. I have heard this hadeth in a peacetv.in conference.


May Allah increase love and mutual understanding between you and your Husband.

Salam

I have heard of this hadith before.


Some Muslim wives complained to him that their husbands had beaten them. Hearing that, the Prophet categorically stated that: “Those who do so (beat their wives) are not the best among you”.

Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: I said, Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her. (Sunan Abu Dawood)

Narrated Aa'ishah: Habibah daughter of Sahl was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas He beat her and broke some of her part. So she came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) after morning, and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): Take a part of her property and separate yourself from her. He asked: Is that right, Apostle of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: I have given her two gardens of mine as a dower, and they are already in her possession. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Take them and separate yourself from her. (Sunan Abu Dawood)
 

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
It is a Sunnah to eat with your right hand..in other words you can say..it is a *strong recommendation* from The Prophet (saaws) (which need I to remind you..speaks upon *revelation*)...

I am a lefty so the problem with me is embedded..rather than "habitual" like yours...I have told my family members and my friends to warn me when I forget and eat or drink with my left hand..and I try to place the food dishes in a certain order so I have reach for them with my right hand...sometimes I (and others supposed to remind me) still forget..and I would have an entire meal with my left hand and remember *hours* later that I did that..I feel bad and ask Allah to Help me with this..and try harder...because any Sunnah from Rasulullah (saaws) is dear to the heart and accomplishing it would be the best thing to happen!..but I have yet to bump into the person who will *threaten* me (in a bully-like fashion) about it..that's when I'll show him/her the stars of night during the light of day!!!

As for your husband threatning to hit you..I don't know if you actually meant *physical hitting*..or you meant *hit you on the issue* as in *bring it to your attention sternly* as a *reminder* or a *notification*...but let me tell you sister..a hand that extends towards you in an intended slap..smack..punch..or whatever..should be BROKEN OFF and tossed to STARVING DOGS before even *A NAIL* from it lays upon your skin...DO NOT let anyone give themselves the right to *hit you*...*E-V-E-R*...IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEIR REASON IS!!!...

Islam is ABSOLUTELY intolerant of disrespect towards EVERYONE...whether it be verbal..emotional..and/or physical!...there's a civil trait called *advising* which can turn a world upside down if it's accompanied by *respect* and *gentleness*..if that's what you will receive from others..then that's when you turn your ears to them and *listen* carefully...you're not in *a mafia* dear sister..you're in *a marriage*..I hope you *always* remember that!

But to remain more on topic..I think you should try your *best*..perhaps avoid eating with a fork *and* knife so much?..so you don't be *tempted* to use your left hand..I'm not saying eat with your bare hands..but I am sure there are ways you can avoid eating with a fork and knife simultaneously (i.e. if you're having a steak..cut it with the knife into bite sizes..then put the knife down..put the fork in your right hand and eat)..maybe that way you will stop that habit and get rid of it :)

:wasalam:
 

Jannah03

Junior Member
walaykee salaam sis, him threatening to hit seems like the bigger issue.
but, ask him to KINDLY remind you to switch your eating utensil. and maybe an imam to talk to him about his anger issues
 

~Ali_

Fixing da foundation
Assalamualaikum

hmm... he wants to hit you because you eat with lefty O_O thats just wrong....
I double the advice that "a_muslimah86" has given on the matter.
You know even though ...

But Eating with bare right hand (i.e., without spoon, etc) is not required. You can use spoon but you shuld use spoon with right hand.

I would still use the hands which we have been blessed with :)

I grew up eating with the hand, maybe thats why eating with utensils just feels straight up weird BUT I guess if your eating steak you can always go caveman and go nuts on it with your teeth LOL

and

If the problem does persist using the fork with lefty and trying to switch it to righty doesnt work, just drop the utensils altogether :D

Walaikumasalam
 

Believer1985

Junior Member
I appreciate all your replies, so thank you all very much. Many of you picked up on the issue of my husband hitting me on this issue. Yes, I meant physically hitting me. He has never done so (not yet anyway on this topic) but has threatened me.
The other thing is, being Western, it isn't easy to always eat with bare hands. E.G., if youre in a restaurant I'm sure people will frown upon me if I dopped the utensils and started eating my pasta with my bare hands. Get the picture?
More to the point, I also noticed many of you used quotes that stated it is "sunnah", not "fard" to eat with the right hand. This point makes me wonder if holding the fork in my left hand is acceptable or not? Will Allah punish me if I were to continue with this attitude, truth be told, and not to sound disrespectful in any way, shape or form, I do feel switching the position of my utensils means I'm reading too mch into something or making mountains out of mole hills.

I hope you won't find my comment rude, as I dont intend to be rude, only honest and I know honesty is well accepted in Islam.

Salam
 

Nurain

Junior Member
Dear Sis, Allaah will understand the struggle and predicament you are going through. Remember Allaah is al-Ghafoor and he forgives MAJOR sins and what more minor sins like using utensils and eating with your left hand. Sis, I personally feel you should take your time to practise. Just as long as you don't directly eat with your bare left hand, because that's what we use to wash ourselves in the toilet with.

In sha Allaah, you'd get the hang of it one day ;)

I feel this is such a minor issue that can be improved over time. Moreover, there are much more important issues like our eman, concentration in prayers, being conscious of Allaah day in and day out etc. May Allaah guide you always.

p/s Sis, even I won't eat pasta with bare hand! :p
 

~Ali_

Fixing da foundation
E.G., if youre in a restaurant I'm sure people will frown upon me if I dopped the utensils and started eating my pasta with my bare hands. Get the picture?

hahahaha yeah I get the picture :D some things unfortunatly need utensils (altho have you tryed eating pasta/noodles with ur hands? its fun :p (dont laugh at me i culdnt find the fork:()) although for "normal" food attempt (for fun) eating with your right hand - it tastes alot better.

I feel this is such a minor issue that can be improved over time. Moreover, there are much more important issues like our eman, concentration in prayers, being conscious of Allaah day in and day out etc. May Allaah guide you always.

I double that advice, it is indeed a minor issue in comparison to the bigger picture.

Assalamualaikum
 

q8penpals

Junior Member
Unfotunately, I hate getting my hands dirty! lol. I'm a clean-freak!

Assalam aliekum

If it is very hard for you to switch, try this simple trick - after you get your food on your plate and cut into bite sized pieces, simple slip your left hand under your left leg. You will only have one hand available, and you will have to make a conscious effort to bring your left hand up to the table.
 

mezeren

Junior Member
Salam to all,

This issue refelects many people living in the West. I am British and my husband is Pakistani. All my life, when using a knife a fork I have held the fork in my left hand, purey because it was the way in which I was raised. I know well that a Muslim should eat with his/her right hand, but when it comes to knives and forks, I hold my knife in my right hand because i find it easier to control, whereas if i held knife in my left hand and fork in my right i know I'd cause a mess everywhere. My husband has threatened to hit me on this issue, but i was wondering if Im causing a haram act while doing this. IS this sinful or is it just something small that doesnt even matter?

Wasalam

:salam2:

sister,i can give you a simple solution.i was born and raised in a muslim country and when i need to use a fork and a knife,as you do,i hold the fork with my left hand and the knife with my right hand.The thing is i never eat with my left hand,when i finish with the knife i leave it and get the fork with my right hand and eat my food.

i believe that it is not a small matter.Our Prophet(a.s.) used his right hand to eat and warned us about it.
 
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