HELP ME...depression....i have completely given up...

haji786

New Member
Salam brothers & sisters,

I have turned to this forum simply because I have absolutely nobody to turn to. My life has become such a mess that I feel trapped and utterly hopeless.

Let me vent -

I am 22, British Pakistani, born and raised in UK. My Parents have provided me with everything I could possibly wish for. Allhumdullilah on paper I have a good life as it would seem from the outside.

I was in medical school abroad. Until I got expelled for poor grades. I cant break this news to my parents tho due to the overwhelming fear of upsetting them. I have been depressed for years prior tho. Although this has never been clinically diagnosed as Asians do not tend to acknowledge this well. But I know truthfully that I am.

I would say I am a good Muslim. I refrain from all major sins. I pray 5 times a day. I have been on Hajj 3 times and Umrah 3 times too. Allhumdullilah!

I feel trapped. I dont know what to do with my life. If I break the news that I have been kicked out I will certainly be disowned. But if I dont, I am stuck away from home just pretending to be a student.

On top of all this, I have no friends. Not one. Reason being is that I feel that I can not open up to Muslim brothers who are up to all the haram in this world - ie drinking, zina etc.

So ultimately I am all alone.

My parents know something is wrong. But I cant bring myself to tell them. They will be so upset and angry with me. Allah may forgive me, but I am certain my parents will not be so forgiving. However, I love them eternally and would never ever wish them any harm.

For the past few years I have also been getting thoughts of suicide. But I know this is haram and a huge sin. But I dont see a solution to my life.

I need some advice please brothers and sisters. I have no-one.

JazakAllah hair.
 

muslimeen1989

Junior Member
:salam2:

Brother dont lose hope in Allah, make dua to Allah to help you and guide you in this trail of yours, Surely failing in this life is not equal to being an eternal loser in the next life so dont think suicide will help you. Your not alone brother Allah is always with you just turn to Allah in your hardships and he will not leave you empty handed. I too went through what you went through but not same, I left the course of my parents choice and broke it to them that i dont want to do it and i want to do something for myself, after the disappointment and shouting she became understanding and parents are tolerant just tell them and put your trust in Allah. do you think your parents care more about a stupid course or your life, tell them how much you love them and that you have been through a tough time and that you want to say that Allah has different plans for you failures are just turning points not barriers, so dont let it be a barrier for you, brother your imaan is being tested either you choose the comforts of this life or the harvest of the next life.

The Beloved Prophet (saw) taught us to tell the truth even it is against out selves, read the story of Kab ibn Malik and you will understand the whole town was against him, Brother put more faith in Allah and your parents its not as bad as the shaytan makes it out to be he wants you to take your life and pull you to hell forever so dont let him Fight it and i will make dua for you...

Brother remember we are always here for you as well....

:wasalam:
 

mufakkir

Junior Member
Salaam Alaikum,

InshaAllah you are well. It seems brother that you need someone to talk to. I've sent you a message with my msn address. InshaAllah feel free to log on and give me a shout. I'm not saying i will be able to fix your problems, but alhamdulillah sometimes things seem a bit better when you talk to someone about it.

Was Salaam
 

wannabe_muttaqi

A MUSLIM BROTHER
Assalamu Alaikum

:salam2: ,
Akhi what you are going through isnt different from what many muslims go through. When you say that you have nowhere to turn to, believe me close your eyes and think of THE CREATOR.

There are few things i would recommend.

1) Do lots of Dhikr and ask for repentence from ALLAH SWT for your carelessness.

2) Make lots of Dua and ask ALlAH SWT to open the ways to you in this situation.

3) Sit calmly and contemplate where you went wrong. what swerved you from what you wanted to do. Then be firm that you shall not go through the same path again.

4) Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses and work towards it. Prioritize things that you want to achieve ( Immediate and long term) and start working towards it.

5) Before you go to your parents plan how do you wanna lead you life , i mean what do you want to do and how do you want to achieve it. Explain it to your parents with humble attitude. Make them sure that you have realised your mistake and you will give your 100% in what you want to do now.

6) You should go and talk to your parents before get to know from others. It will hurt them more.

7) Do nafil Ibada more and tahjjud is a very good solution.


May ALLAH SWT open HIS gates of mercy to you. and make it easy for you and your parents too. Ameen

:wasalam:
 

Roby Rahman

Junior Member
Asalamualaikum

May ALLAH help you through your troubled times and make this worldly life easy for you. Remember ALLAH the almighty has said that this entire universe is not even worth more than a wing of a mosquito, so look forward to the akhira with good intentions. wasalamualaikum
 

Abu_Luqmann

Junior Member
Assalamualaikum,

Suicide is haram. Death is not an end according to Islamic theology. It is just a new beginning! DONT even consider it, brother.

I live in Newcastle, UK. Do you live nearby. Maybe we could meet up

do keep in touch

salam
 

OsMaN_93

Here to help
:salam2:

Find another school ?
May Allah help you.

I don't think lying to your parents would be any good, because eventually they will know about it. Think about it, what's best for you? Make istikhara inshallah.

Don't take my full words literally, just think about it, i don't want to advice you to do anything that harms you. You know most about your situation.

:salam2:
 

Karima80

Junior Member
:salam2: brother,
It is sad to read your story. I pray you will find your strength to tell your parents about school/uni and that you will be fine. I would also recommend you to go to your MD to check up so you don't have any medicial problems for example, lack of B12-vitamin or lowe blood sugar. And read about depression on internet you will have more knowledge and inshallah you can help yourself to be better.
This is just my opinion and of course stay strong in your imaan and suicide is never an answere just shaitan who lures you.

Take care and continue visit this forum.
:hijabi:
 

slave_of_Allah

Junior Member
Assalamu alikum brother.

I pray you are in the best of health. Aameen. First of all I want to say welcome to this beautiful site.

Brother don't despair of Allah's mercy. I know how hard it can be to tell your parents such news. I can understand. The same thing happened to my brother, he was in medical school, but he too got kicked out because he didn't pass the years. He told my parents, at first they were upset, which is inevitable, but alhamduillah they are o.k now because they know my brother is really practicing. Masha'Allah.

Please tell your parents, i think you should. You did your best, but it didn't work out. I know how you must be feeling - i can remember my brother was heart broken, but what kept him going is praying to Allah. Have faith brother.

Suicide - that is what i use to think about a long time ago - but when I came closer to Islam I realized that suicide is not the answer.

Allah only tests those He loves. Keep praying to Allah - He is with you all the way.

Wa'alikum aslaam.
 

fowziya

New Member
salam brother
i understand what your going through. Killing yourself you will think that will end all your problems, thats what the shytan is saying to you so please dont think that way, you will let him win. Just sit down with your parents and tell them the truth. I know it seems hard but you will feel better after you do that. In your prayer ask allah for his help. When we have problems no one can help us but Allah. I have been depressed myself at one point where the doctor had put me in depression pills but i also prayed to allah to get me out of it and turn to his path and it all went away after a while. Sometimes allah has us go through this kind of trial to test us and you never know if hes testing you. So my advice to you is to turn to his path ask him for ease, tell your parents and isha allah you will soon feel better.
 

zbhotto

Banned
Dear Brother;
I want to share my experience with you. It might help you. When I was studying in the first term of my first year of my B.Sc Engineering in Bangladesh I got the poorest mark in my tests. I was so frustrated that I decided not to continue my study and I went back home will my bag and baggage. It was my eldest brother who told me that why are you woring about your grade. If you just can achive the pass grade it would be enough for me. So I again went back to my university and started my study again. Alhamdullillah I stood one of the top three students at the end of my first year. By the end of my third year I stood the first position in my class and so on.

I became an assistant professor in my university. Later I apply for Higher study in Canada, and Again alhamdullillah I got Master's admission with Fellowship and Reasearch assistanceship in University of VIctoria, VIctoria, BC, Canada.

After ariving here I also feel the same, I was thinking here study is very difficult and I cannot obtian my MASc in Electrical and Computer Eingeering Degree. I was so frustrated that I decided to go back in Bangaldesh. It was my mother, brother and sister who repeatedly call me on mobile phone and ask me to have patience.

Alhamdullillah My supervisor was so happy with my performance that He finaly decided to transfer my MASc program to PhD program within my first year of MASC program. Alhamdulillah my PhD is going well and hopefully within next year I would be able to finish my PhD inshallah.

So brother don't be frustrated. You dont know what is better for you. It is only Allah knows what is the best for you. So have patience. I think your family i.e., father, brother, mother sister would encourage you. They will not do anything that you are afraid of.



Peace be onto you.
 

zbhotto

Banned
One Important Hadith

More:
One Improtant Hadith that I have repeatedly remember is as follows

Propher Muhammad (PBUH) said "Everything that happens to the believers for sure brings only good things at the end"

(I have heard it several times from the Imam's Halakha in the local Mosque)

I cannot mention the source.
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:salam2:,

may Allah help you brother. try to convince your parents that being a doctor is not everything in life.

what will your parents prefer? a good son who is not doctor or a doctor who is not a good child?

you left ppl for Allah, Allah will not leave you in the dark!

there are so many respectable professions in the world, plz dont think about suicide. let the thought not turn into action.

may Allah give you patience and better life brother.
 

~Ali_

Fixing da foundation
Assalamualaikum brother - I have not read the other posts but.

Please tell your parents about you being kicked out of med school - its better than LYING TO THEM (arentchu angering Allah swt by LYING)?

Shaitan has taken advantage of this one lie and turned it into a suicide excuse and making your life miserable for you.

Please brother tell the truth - the rest should follow Inshallah.
May Allah swt make things easy and smooth for you - ameen.
 

yasak80

Junior Member
Alaykum salam brother ,
I pray for you haji, dont give up ..
ALLAH SWT will find an excellent solution to your problem InshaALLAH ,
We ,here pray for your, And our Lord ALLAHU TEALA sees your situation,
You are not alone, as you feel as...
 

Living Soul

Junior Member
:salam2:

I would also like say you brother a believer is more dear to Allah SWT than a Doctor, Engineer, Professor, Scientist etc who do not believe. You stand unique among all of them MashAllah........

Remember the story of Abu Jehl who was considered to be the most knowledgeable and wise among the ppl of his time but he did not believe in our Beloved Prophet PBUH and Allah SWT so Allah called him as 'Abu Jehl' which means the father of ignorance....... So just think how better you are then them. When I feel down in case of failure then I think of making more dua and more good deeds it helps me raise my self esteem and I feel contented. Just think May be Allah wants you to be something else than just a doctor....

Regarding being fearful of the parents I would say think about the revert brothers and sisters. I have observed through some of the revert people's post here who tell how they were afraid of their parents reaction after their reversion to Islam and they kept it secret for a long time. They knew it that they may be on road and might get separated from they parents kith and kin but still hoping in Allah's strength they continued. Then Allah SWT gave them more strength and showed them the easier way to solve their problem. Your problem is not that big as their's is it??

When you believe that Allah does not want you to be a doctor then obey Him as an obedient servant of his and make your parents believe the same.

Just tell them that this is not Allah's wish so its better accept what is written in you fortune. And then return to Allah for help.

May Allah SWT make things easy for you and the whole Ummah Ameen

:wasalam::tti_sister:
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
brother brother,first thing discuss it honestly with your parents -
trust me they will take it as it is-
suppose you had died from depression!
suppose you were killed
supopose something else happened

what i want to say is worse things might have happened .i was going through this as well but i discuswsed with my parents iot was ok.
it seems satan is playing games with your mind

tell them honestly.

or fill up some other stuidy/course then tell them .
you can certainly have a career change.

and pls remember i know how tough it is.
do istikharah and read the last rukoo of surah bakr- from aamamnarrasooloh.....till end
WILL HELP. INSHALLAH.
 

AZAM_SIDDIQUI

Junior Member
U MUST DO TAUBA FOR SAYING U HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO----REMEMBER-------THERE IS SOMEONE TOO IMPORTANT YOU MISSED.

SOMEONE WHO CAN SOLVE UR PROBLEMS.

WHT U HV SAID MIGHT HV NOT BEEN LIKED BY HIM.


BECAUSE U HV ALLAH TO TURN TO AND HE IS THE BEST ONE TO TURN TO..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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