Marriage: working-wife or non-working wife?

Marriage: working wife or non-working wife?

  • working wife

    Votes: 6 18.8%
  • non-working wife

    Votes: 17 53.1%
  • not sure

    Votes: 9 28.1%

  • Total voters
    32

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:salam2:,

ofcourse i know there are many issues like what is the nature of workplace, is there mixing of men and women, is she supporting her family, etc.

i am only looking for your general preferance.

regarding me, i think i'll prefer non-working (maybe because i am an asian). but better if she's in dawah or charity work.

i generally dislike women working with men for 8 hours and then household works. It puts extra burden on them and sometimes bring some discord in the family.
 

Nayyararsi

Kashmiri Brother
:salam2:,

ofcourse i know there are many issues like what is the nature of workplace, is there mixing of men and women, is she supporting her family, etc.

i am only looking for your general preferance.

regarding me, i think i'll prefer non-working (maybe because i am an asian). but better if she's in dawah or charity work.

i generally dislike women working with men for 8 hours and then household works. It puts extra burden on them and sometimes bring some discord in the family.


Assalamualaikum

Brother i completely disagree with you.Accordindg to me women should work and they should be encouraged to work if we want a modest and peaceful society.

If we need to have the male female segregation then females have to work.We need the female teachers,lecturers,professors etc to teach the females,we need the female gynaecologists,female surgeons,etc in our hospitals so that other females wont have to go to male doctors,we need the women police and we need women in several other fields to ensure the modest and humble society.
 

IbnAhmad

Junior Member
salaam

i dont really know to be honest...depends on where she works and stuff :)
to be honest as long as your wife is covered up properly i dont think its a problem as of course you should be able to trust your wife :)

wassalam
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
:salam2:

I definitely don't want my wife to be working. This will be one of the conditions for marriage.


I myself live in a society where gender mixing is common. School, colleges, and work places. Especially at work places women suffer a lot.... to be honest with you. They are treated as Napkins.....just use it and throw it.....(I am sorry to say that). I don't want my wife to be humiliated like that.

However when it comes to dawah and Islamic teaching then inshallah i will let her work. Pick and drop her to various location etc. But besides that ABSOLUTELY NOT....inshallah
 

amna_muslimaa

TRUELY MUSLIMAA
:salam2:
As far as i know may be there more mens who would deffinetly not like her wife working then the mens who like her wife working.....
walaikumsalam
 

OsMaN_93

Here to help
:salam2:

I'm bit too young for this haha! but inshallah as long as Allah and us are happy with it, then it should be okay. Besides, when I finish my studies and become a dentist :p with the help of Allah, we will have more than enough time and money.
I'll work for approx. 3 hours a day. We could get a maid if she wants to work.
I would advice her to work from home, if possible.

Besides, why would you want to work if you have (almost) everything you want (money, time, children, fun....) in this world?

You know what, this made me think, I might as well marry a woman who is a dentist, hmmm... inshallah!
Hehe :D :salam2:
 

Ibn_hassan

Servant of Allah
If the husband is working why does the wife need to work? I dont see the point, it is for the husband to earn the living for the family. :wasalam:
 

q8penpals

Junior Member
Assalam aliekum

If women don't work, who is going to educate your daughters? If women don't work, who is going to medically treat your wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters? You want your girls to be taught by men only? You want your women seeing only male doctors, even for baby delivery, pap tests, breast exams, etc? If you don't allow your women to be teachers, doctors, professors, nurses, etc., then YOU are forcing women to mix with men in the instances that they need teachers and professors and doctors, etc.
 

Kakorot

Junior Member
:wasalam:

nice topic. when i get married InshaAllaah I want to carry on working for a bit. It's only when I start having children InshaAllaah then I will take a break, but then when they grow I would want to go back to work, as I would want my children to go to madrassa. I'm wana be a nurse InshaAllaah, still thinking.
 

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
Assalam aliekum

If women don't work, who is going to educate your daughters? If women don't work, who is going to medically treat your wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters? You want your girls to be taught by men only? You want your women seeing only male doctors, even for baby delivery, pap tests, breast exams, etc? If you don't allow your women to be teachers, doctors, professors, nurses, etc., then YOU are forcing women to mix with men in the instances that they need teachers and professors and doctors, etc.
:wasalam: Sister:

We also dont want our wife to be humiliated. We also don't want our wives to neglect our children. We want to have wife who cares about the husbands. Who cares about their homes and who cares about their children. We want to give positive message to our children that whenever you are down we are their to help you. We are there to listen to you.

How would you feel if you (being a daughter) came from school, and you don't see you mama because she is too busy at work. She has no time for you But she does have time for others. She is educating others but she is forgetting you. She left you with babysitters, who just want money. That babysitter doesn't have a pound of love for you.

Educating children and working or two different things.


Supermoms​



A book, Perfect Madness by Judith Warner, published by Riverhead Books, tells us that during her research, Warner discovered that:

· “Seventy percent of American moms say they find motherhood today ‘incredibly stressful.’”

· “Thirty percent of mothers of young children reportedly suffer from depression.”

In the lands where all that glitters is somehow perceived to be gold and therefore desirable, women are discovering that playing roles that were not ordained for them by God is not all it is cracked up to be.

Women in the West, who have long been battling both themselves and the natural order to be “superwomen,” are finding that banging their heads on the glass ceiling is giving them more than a headache. They are finding themselves on a merry-go-round that will not stop. Their makeup and their hair must be perfect; their size must be unrealistically thin; their children must be perfect, talented, and high achievers; their houses must be spotless; and all this must be achieved in the stolen hours between working and sleeping.

This is more than just struggling against the glass ceiling in pursuit of career goals: It is banging your head against a wall on a relentless and ongoing basis. As Judith Warner states, “I have seen so many mothers banging their heads against a wall: treating their pain - the chronic headache of their lives - with sleeping pills, antidepressants and anxiety meds, and a more and more potent, more and more vicious self-and-other-attacking form of anxious perfectionism.”

The chronic headache of their lives …! Is that a life? This is mere survival in a life of stress and loneliness. The superwoman goal is unachievable not because women are incapable, but because they fail to see that fulfilling natural and predestined roles is undoubtedly the real super achievement. Playing mother, wife, and career woman all at the same time is not an enviable position, and, except in cases of necessity, the woman’s role as caregiver and homemaker should take precedence over career and outside activities.

Islam defines women as superwomen - but with a different meaning. Islam recognizes that the role of wife and mother is of paramount importance. Islam defines marriage as half of the religion. Islam clearly states that Heaven lies at the feet of mothers. Islam goes much further than just recognition; it clearly defines the roles that women play and states rights and obligations with clarity and common sense.

The role of a mother in bringing up children is greater than that of a father. She is responsible for their emotional, behavioral, and intellectual development. She is responsible for instilling the love of Islam in them, especially in their early formative years. When a woman understands the teachings of Islam and her own role in life, she understands her complete responsibility for the upbringing of her children, as is referred to in the Quran:


“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones.” (Quran 66:6)



More than 40 years ago, Muslim women who were secure in their roles and their lives could see the damage being caused by a Western lifestyle. In 1962 after observing her Western sisters, Salma Al-Haffar said in the Damacus newspaper Al-Ayyam,:

“It is truly a shame that women lose the most precious thing that nature has given them, that is, their femininity, and then their happiness, because the constant cycle of exhausting work has caused them to lose the small paradise which is the natural refuge of women and men alike, a refuge that can only flourish under the care of a mother who stays at home. The happiness of individuals and society as a whole is to be found at home, in the lap of the family; the family is the source of inspiration, goodness and creativity.”




Nowadays, a woman is often forced to make choices that are not easy. Often, she feels that she must work to help financially support the family. Often, she is the family’s sole breadwinner. However, before we focus blame on the stresses and demands of society today and blame them for the destruction of family values and the pain and anguish of failing supermoms, let’s recall how we have unrealistically idealized the lives women’s lives in the 21st century.

On the other hand, the lives of Muslim women must be guided only by the precepts of the Quran and the Sunnah. We must not be fooled by slogans such as “times have changed.”

The Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, was sent with a message for all mankind, in all times and in all places. The guidelines sent down to us by our Creator, God Almighty, are perfect and cover all situations. God made it clear that a woman’s first responsibility is to her Creator, then to her husband, and then to her home. There is nothing in Islam that prevents a woman from continuing her education, from working or from pursuing outside activities. Nothing, that is, except the well-being of her family.

The importance that Islam places upon marriage is clear.


“And among His signs is this that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between you. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)



The usual by-product of marriage is children, and these children are the future of society. What greater role can there be than that of mother? How can the women who fulfill this role be regarded as anything but superwomen? Women who understand their religion are secure in the fact that God Most High knows what is best for His slaves.

Women must be vigilant, for our society’s future rests in their hands, and being burnt out supermoms achieves nothing but stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, many non-Western women today are blindly rushing to follow a well-worn road. It is a road of consumerism and excess, and it leads nowhere. That nowhere has no substance; it is merely a feeling of emptiness and loss. It is better not to follow such women into oblivion; let us learn from their mistakes.

As is evident from the research found in Perfect Madness, the Western lifestyle being clutched to so desperately is not a cure for what ails us. The motherhood that needs to be sought is compatible with God Most High. That is it, nothing more. If we achieve this, we are the real superwomen; the true supermoms.

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/1468/
 

IbnAhmad

Junior Member
Assalam aliekum

If women don't work, who is going to educate your daughters? If women don't work, who is going to medically treat your wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters? You want your girls to be taught by men only? You want your women seeing only male doctors, even for baby delivery, pap tests, breast exams, etc? If you don't allow your women to be teachers, doctors, professors, nurses, etc., then YOU are forcing women to mix with men in the instances that they need teachers and professors and doctors, etc.

salaam

i just want to say i agree with you ukthii...may allah swt bless you..amiin :)
:)

wasalam
 

Nayyararsi

Kashmiri Brother
:wasalam: Sister:

We also dont want our wife to be humiliated. We also don't want our wives to neglect our children. We want to have wife who cares about the husbands. Who cares about their homes and who cares about their children. We want to give positive message to our children that whenever you are down we are their to help you. We are there to listen to you.

How would you feel if you (being a daughter) came from school, and you don't see you mama because she is too busy at work. She has no time for you But she does have time for others. She is educating others but she is forgetting you. She left you with babysitters, who just want money. That babysitter doesn't have a pound of love for you.

Educating children and working or two different things.

Assalamualaikum

Brother asking a counter question is not the answer to the question.Sister q8penpals asked that how you are then going to prevent the mixing between men and women and you are asking a counter question.

Further there might be the problems in your country but case is not same everywhere so you cant make a general statement.I think you do not know but the first wife of Prophet was Khadija(MAY AALAH BE PLEASED WITH HER) AND SHE WAS A WORKING LADY.So when Prophet had no problem marrying a working lady i think that no muslim should have as long as the job is modest.
 

Muslimah16

ServantOfAllah*
:salam2:

If i ever wer to get married I would like to work as an Islamic teacher.

If my partner would disagree, then ofcourse i would leave the job. But inshaAllah he wouldnt do that, We need Muslim sisters out there to help teach others.

I totally agree with what sister q8penpals has said.
 

TeenagerMuslim

Junior Member
A working wife, with very flexible hours - to make sure that she is able to give maximum time to her husband and the family.

I would like to offer her the Option not having to do a job, as Islam has suggested. But it's her choice in the end, of course.
 

stiks

Amatur-Rahman
Asalaamualaykum,

It seems to me that we are struggling to find the precarious balance! We want our women to stay at home but we also want them to be treated, educated, served etc, etc, by Women.

Different women want different things, are capable of doing various sorts, and are quite able to choose the best decisions for their selves (inspite of what some wish). What works for one might not work for someone else. If a lady is able to work and look after the family (with a little help from mr. husband ofcourse) then she should.

Personaly speaking i would absolutely go barking if i had to stay day in day out in the house! even if i were married i'd work part time. Whereas someone else might find all the satisfaction in staying at home!

This is not a decision that should be made generaly but each family should make it according to what will work out best for them plus its not a decision that a man should take without consulting with his wife!
 

slaveofAllah88

Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o alikum,

I really dont see a problem in a wife working if she is not mingling with the member of the opposite sex, and abstaining from evil while keeping her modesty, whats the big deal.
especially before kids, but i have to agree with "stiks"

This is not a decision that should be made generaly but each family should make it according to what will work out best for them plus its not a decision that a man should take without consulting with his wife!

Alot of times husband (as observed by me) just want things their way forgetting Women should have an equal say.
 

Hard Rock Moslem

I'm your brother
I voted for "non-working wife" because I was responsible in asking my wife to quit her dream job. The kids grow better when their mother is at home. But in some situation, women may have to go to work to reduce husband's burden.
 
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