100 Premarital Questions ????

Muslim18

Blessed Muslimah
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim

Asalamu alaykum Wa rahmatullah Brothers and sisters.

"Planning your marriage is more important than planning your wedding. Unfortunately nowadays, it is the opposite. Millions of people tend to spend most, if not all of their time preparing for that perfect-glamorous wedding…and quite frankly, I’d say probably half of that million ended up in a divorce."

InshaAllah this post will be of beneficial to you and your prospective spouse. You may choose as many as you wish, out of 100 questions - what you would ask your potential spouse. :hijabi:


MARRIAGE

1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
4. What are your expectations of marriage?
5. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
6. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
8. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

RELIGION

9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
10. Are you a spiritual person?
11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13. What is your relationship between you and the Muslim community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your spouse spiritually?
16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?

FAMILY

19. What is your relationship with your family?
20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?

FRIENDS

25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

SELF

34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not
understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favour for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wronged someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want she/he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the
conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

HEALTH

63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?

MONEY

67. What is your definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?

CHILDREN

81. Do you want to have children? If not, why?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

RELATIVES

100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
 

AlQurtubi

Banned
You didnt leave anything for time after marriage. Will you explore your potential spouse from top to bottom right before marriage? :)

Also, it does contains some questions which I think will be appropriate to ask before marriage.
 

Muslim18

Blessed Muslimah
You didnt leave anything for time after marriage. Will you explore your potential spouse from top to bottom right before marriage? :)

Also, it does contains some questions which I think will be appropriate to ask before marriage.

Asalamu alaykum

I got this article from an islamic website, just seen people ask for questions and i thought this could give them an idea of what kind of questions they may want to ask, obviously i wouldnt ask all because some of them may not apply to them or you and you can find that through other means like family, friends etc

You can leave some after marriage but the serious ones can be asked before things that will affect your relationship with your spouse but things like relatives and granparents relationships with the children obviously is not anything urgent...

Hope that helps :SMILY335:
 

Mabsoot

Amir
Staff member
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh

Most of it is irrelevant and the most important questions and things are never asked.

Firstly, person must look at whether they really follow the Qur'aan and sunnah or not. Just being "religious" or praying 5x, is not enough.

They should be people with correct understanding of Tawheed and Aqeedah, they should be really upon the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (salallaahu alayhi wa salam), they should be getting their understanding of the Qur'aan and hadith from the Sahaba and the early generation of Muslims.

People do not understand their Deen, so they do not know the right Questions to ask, this means they do not know who they SHOULD be looking for. -

First thing first, people should do their best to learn about Islaam properly, purely, not wasting time listening nasheeds and just watching the odd youtube video of a "Muslim Comedian" or one of the many ignorant callers who never ever studied Islaam properly or something like that. Rather, submitting to the Qur'aan and Sunnah and studying the books of the ulema', from the past and the present. The likes of Imaam Ahmad, Ibn Qayyim, Ibn Taymiyyah, Shaykh Albani, Ibn Baz, Ibn Uthaimeen and other than them who are well known for their adherance to the purest form of Islaam, as Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama'ah. Rahimahumullaah.

If person does that, then most of those questions above, are known, both to the bride and bridgegroom, Islaam provides the answer. Real Islaam = being really sensible! means being upon the fitrah, upon the way that Allaah, the Most High, the One who has created us, has intended.

For example, if things are done properly, you would not be sitting infront of a person who you need to ask the following questions to...


30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?


Really, some of these things make me laugh !! It is funny...

Subhan Allaah

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh
 

Muslim18

Blessed Muslimah
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh

Most of it is irrelevant and the most important questions and things are never asked.

Firstly, person must look at whether they really follow the Qur'aan and sunnah or not. Just being "religious" or praying 5x, is not enough.

They should be people with correct understanding of Tawheed and Aqeedah, they should be really upon the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (salallaahu alayhi wa salam), they should be getting their understanding of the Qur'aan and hadith from the Sahaba and the early generation of Muslims.

People do not understand their Deen, so they do not know the right Questions to ask, this means they do not know who they SHOULD be looking for. -

First thing first, people should do their best to learn about Islaam properly, purely, not wasting time listening nasheeds and just watching the odd youtube video of a "Muslim Comedian" or one of the many ignorant callers who never ever studied Islaam properly or something like that. Rather, submitting to the Qur'aan and Sunnah and studying the books of the ulema', from the past and the present. The likes of Imaam Ahmad, Ibn Qayyim, Ibn Taymiyyah, Shaykh Albani, Ibn Baz, Ibn Uthaimeen and other than them who are well known for their adherance to the purest form of Islaam, as Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama'ah. Rahimahumullaah.

If person does that, then most of those questions above, are known, both to the bride and bridgegroom, Islaam provides the answer. Real Islaam = being really sensible! means being upon the fitrah, upon the way that Allaah, the Most High, the One who has created us, has intended.

For example, if things are done properly, you would not be sitting infront of a person who you need to ask the following questions to...


30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?


Really, some of these things make me laugh !! It is funny...

Subhan Allaah

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh

Wa alaykumu salam wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakatu wa maghfiratu

Jaza kallahu khair for you excellent advice i 100% agree as i said just found this article thought it could help people to make a decision on what kind of questions they may need to ask this gives an idea, But i see your point if the person has real Ilm of their deen most of the above questions are irrelavent but some muslims nowadays find it hard to find questions to ask i know a few sisters that find it hard to question a future spouse so they can get some sort of idea from here.

I am glad it made you laugh some of them are like soo irrelevant lol
sorry if i posted anything wrong and excuse my ignorance for i am not properly educated on these matters May Allah forgive me :hijabi:
 

eli.

New Member
I like the questions however I would freakout is someone ask so many things to me I'll feel like a criminal or something lOL but that's me I'm weird
 
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