HELP!!!!!

[AmeliaJohnson]

:salam2:
I am in desperate need of advise. I came from school today and my mom told me that we were to expect some guests today. When the "guests" came theu turned out to be a man and a guy around 17 years of age. My mom just has to make my likfe hell cuz she told me that the guy was to be my future husband.
I wont be that desperate but see the situation??????? He is christian!! I am muslim! How CAN i marry him?
I didnt say anything infront of them but as soon as they were gone i demanded my mom of why she was doing this. She said she was "sick of having me for so long and she doesnt have any more strengh to keep me."
"plus they are rich people amelia think of all the money...and you'll be happy" thats what she said!! Did she ever ask about my opinion? Im ONLY 15!!???
WHAT am i going to do?? I cant reject that cuz my mom says that this is all agreed from both sides..kind of like arranged marrige...
I'm thinking of running away..easiest thing to do right now...can anyone help me?? give me advise about what i can do???




Amina...

 

[FreedomFighter]

...........

 

[Jannah03]

asalaamu alayk, Are you for real???? wow, does ur mom know your muslim? has she always thought this way about you? does she need money? i mean for real. i got so many questions. sis make dua that Allah azza wa jal ives you the strength to go through this, and maybe this will be the time to tell ur mom your a muslim and cant marry him. also go to a mosque and find a sister who is knowledgeable to consult with to help find you a good wali. other than that im speechless

 

[doctor38]

:salam2:
You are 15 and you are underage. They can't force you to get married. I mean even if you were at a legal age they still can't force you.

Try some other family members to inject some reason into your family. Let her know that you won't keep quite and you'll raise hell. I'll start by talking to my school principle.

Let her know that there is more chance that NY city will sink into the Atlantic but no way you are going to get married. let her know that you have plenty of legal avenue to explore and you won't hesitate to use them. Let her know that if she is going through with her plans that you'll go to he nearest police station.

This is unheard of in USA! can I ask you what kind of back ground do you so we might be able to put this into context. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

By the way Why don't you say some thing in front of them. I suggest you talk to the guy and his father and tell them you are not interested. I would even consider telling them I am a Muslim and I'll be wearing Neqab. Tell the father that he is breaking American law and if he does not back away he will go to jail.

I wouldn't say all that is in one setting but do it gradually first talk nicely to them, you don't want to get married. In you second phone call raise hell.

 

[ahmed_indian]

i think ur mother is just trying to irritate you. maybe she wants you to run off frm home or come back to misguidance.i heard that minimum age to marry in USA is 18. i'm too much sure.

running away might not be a solution as u may find situation worse than this!
may Allah save u. u need to contact Islamic organisations there like CAIR, (www.cair.com) etc. if possible, visit a mosque and try to get some help frm Imam or other sisters. maybe u need to leave ur place as things might get tough.

PS: going thru all this does not mean that Allah do not love u. prophet's companions went thru much hardships as well.

 

[a_muslimah86]

sister..don't worry..there's nothing your mom can do..she probably thinks you're young and don't know any better so she's using her authority along with *that* to make you do what she says..if push comes to shove..and she tries to force you physically or have these people come and take you..then threaten to call the cops if no one backs down..then DO call them..you're not living in a JUNGLE sister!!!..you're living in a land with set laws!!!

regardless of whether you're a Muslim or not..you CANNOT be put in a situation like this..especially considering your mom's problem with drugs..

just remember that..first of all..Allah is with you all the time and He (swt) Will protect you from all evils as long as you trust in Him and take Him for a guardian..second of all..you have the law of the land that works to your advantage..and third of all..you have that muslim friend who helped you convert..tell her about the situation..and inshallah she will be able to help you through the masjid and/or the community!

let us know of what happens with you ukhti..and you will surely be in my dua'as

 

[andi kumala dewi]

WA'ALAYKUM SALAM WARAHMATULAHI WABARAKATUH

If we has chosen Islamic thus we should completed to be faced future problems. In alquan already clear if religious persons will in give test to know his slave obedience (sure Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala find out). For problems you faced now, must you know nothing obedience to creature if this sin to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, you can see in Alquran. It's mean you cannot accept offer of marriage in offer by that man because that man is infidel.
My suggestion, invite your mother to talk however only you together, search nice times to dialoque. Then say you not able accept him with your reason different religion and in religion Islamic illegal his law woman Islamic marry man nonmuslim, you should strict however gentle and not raise voice. If your mother received then grateful to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala, if not then endure emotion and still push offer of marriage because suitable which reason I explain just now. And if your mother aim you in the man, then tell which reason I give just no, I pray to Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala hopefully you succes, Wallahu 'alam. :blackhijab:

 

[Fatima S.Ar]

و عليكم السلام
oh my god why she did that ..

she must take your opinion , she musnt force you !!
I dont know much about American law but I think she is not allowed to force you in this law .

as well as , how is the boy ? is he good and loves you ? if he really loves you u can talk with him
dont tell him u r a Muslim , tell him that u found many things wrong in christianty , tell him what are they
and ask him to start togather to seek for thruth , suggest Islam to him and tell him about Islam and that u r interesting in Islam ..

Perhaps he will become Muslim too

May Allah help you honey
I'll pray for you in sha'a Allah

May Allah protect you

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

You live in America and this family is Christian? How bizarre that they even are agreeing to an arranged marriage. And you mother is atheist so this is even more stranger by the minute.

Look, without your signature it is impossible to marry you to anyone. Furthermore I again suggest you speak to your guidance counselor at school and explain your situation, that your mother is abusive and now trying to commit an illegal act. (it is quite illegal to marry an underage daughter to someone against her will...not to mention impossible) You've mentioned you are afraid of being taken away from your mother but I think you are over this since you are considering running away.

I think you mother is in need of professional help and also needs to have her parental rights terminated. She is an unsafe person to have around children. (this is according to your description of her behavior) In the meantime. don't panic or fret, she can't marry you at this age and against your will, so her threats are empty. And like I said, all it takes is one phone call or visit to the authorities and you are out of harm's way.

Wasalaam

 

[Smile]

are u sure that she is going to make u marry this guy ? i mean she "said" he is goin to be ur future husband ...but did they actually talked about it ? ...or did u even heard them talking about it ? coz then u can speak ur opinion infront of the man & the "future husband" ...

 

[miq1]

Praise be to Allah (The Glorified and Exalted).

1) What country and city do you live in? This information is needed in order to help you better.

2) If you live in a city with a large Muslim population, then you must seek help from this community. Speak to your Muslim friend and her parents and see if they are willing to take guardianship of you. You must have the adults figure out how to take guardianship over you by allowing them to speak to a lawyer, or local court, and other procedures that need to be taken. If the family of your friend cannot take guardianship over you, then speak to the local Imam (if he speaks English well) or the members of your Mosque Administration Board (this can usually be accomplished on a Friday, when the mosque is filled, simply go up to the Imam or ask to speak with the Mosque President or Board Member and that you have a personal matter to speak about in private), and allow one of these people to help you deal with this matter. Remember to tell them you are in need of a Muslim guardian (one with a family already). These people are professionals, doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc and can find out how to help you, do not be shy to approach them. You must make your situation sound urgent and the fact that you are in immediate danger. Your mother is attempting to prostitute you with this "wedding" arrangement in order to make money to provide for her drug addiction, and say it like this to the people. Because this is indeed what she is attempting, desiring to make money off of you.

3) Tell these people exactly that you are a new Muslim and the terrible conditions of your home and your mother's drug abuse and negligence, and now what she desires to do with you. It has become apparent that you must leave this situation, in order to be safe and practice your religion properly. Do not be shy to get help, you are in need of immediately moving out and ask on of the Muslims (especially your friend's family) to provide you with shelter and tell your mother you are at the home of a friend, until matters are finalized and a Muslim family takes guardianship over you. Try not to live at home any longer, I doubt your mother would care that you are living at the home of a friend.

4) Do not immediately contact your local authorities without getting help from the Muslim community and allowing them to help you secure safe guardianship, because the local authorities will simply take you and throw you into a state run institution that does not recognize your religion or anything else. And do not simply run out to the streets, because you may get harmed, kidnapped, or worse.


Please take these measures by this Friday and notify us about your situation.

And Allah (The Glorified and Exalted) Knows Best.