marriage
First of all I think you have posted this topic under the wrong heading, this is an introduce yourself column when you first come onto the site.
Anyway, I have heard so many times about brothers or sisters who cant find someone to marry due to some reason or the other. There is one story that stands out though. Two family's grew up together lived in the same neighborhood and the children played together now when the young boy grew up he asked if he could marry this girl he grew up playing with after some time of searching for someone to marry only to be told that he couldnt because he wasnt "Bangoli" i.e he wasnt from Bangladesh. To say the least I guess it caused tension between the families now, and Allah knows best. But do you see how petty some people are. Have you asked yourself if the search criteria you are looking is too much. I mean are you searching for the right qualities in a spouse and is your family making most of the decisions for you. Some sisters believe they can only marry a cousin, these are sisters from Pakistan mainly so if a cousin isnt proposing they 'cant' marry anyone else because the family is going to stop talking to them, basically they are going to be the 'black sheep' of the family.
I have stopped looking for brothers for some sisters I know because they are just too fussy it is almost unbelievable. Another sister is 40yrs old and she wants a man with a University Degree, and a house not on Mortgage among other things but these are the main 2 if you notice there is no mention of deen, only dunya. I know you can marry anyone and use any criteria but this is just crazy. I am not making this up. Another sis doesnt want someone who is 'illegal' in the country. She has been single for years, I would say 10+ and she complains she cant find a husband, a brother from Somalia is looking for someone to marry, he is upon Quran and Sunnah and Allah Knows best but his application to stay is still pending and she said she doesnt want because she is British and he might be marrying her for her passport. I mean to prove that it wasnt the papers he was after he has been living in this country for a couple of years now and he doesnt even want to do the registers office marriage to get papers all he wants is a wife. At the same time not denying the fact that there are some people who only get married for a stay but you cant go around being suspicious of people and besides you can do istikhara.
Another sis who is recently divorced,she has completed her waiting period she asked me to find a brother for her and she says she doesnt mind being 2nd wife she is almost 30years now with 2 young children. I found a brother for her who wanted a second wife and he is about 38years old and she turns around and says she wants someone younger, 'preferably never been married before' and doesnt want to be 2nd wife anymore. Another sis has 2 children almost 30years old but just doesn't want to be 2nd wife even though some brothers have offered to marry her and in all these cases i am talking about very sincere brothers but Allah always knows best. One single brother was 'interested' but called it off after meeting her and realizing she was black. He was 30years old and a couple weeks later married someone else white he is Arab.
I have noticed as well some Arab brothers will only marry white sisters.
You might be wondering how I know all these brothers....... lol? Through my husband, he does the searching on my behalf. I just let him know there are sisters who need someone and he notifies the brothers and i notify the sisters but for now we dont want to be involved anymore there are a lot of fussy sisters out there.