the muslim man/woman relations

heartbeat

New Member
i have always wondered as a single muslim man trying to fullfill half of my deen by getting married why it seems more difficult than anything else to get in contact with muslim women.
i live in Th usa and it is amazing to notice that it is possible to initiate any contact with women of different cultures and religions and appears to be a fact of impossibility with muslim women...and this is nt about me only but same for so many muslims that i know...
 

shaz_1999

Junior Member
I totally agree with u. I have been wanting to get married since 17 years old I felt I was ready it was no pressure from my parents. But now I am 24 still single. It does drive me crazy.

I am lucky in the sense that I have family and friends around to keep me sane and keep me on the right path. I am worried (I am a stress head) but as my family and friends have rightly said it will happn when Allah wills and you will only marry who Allah wills and whatever happens in the marriege is what Allah wills.

So I have decided to take it in my stride and enjoy bein single like I have no husband or children that I have to put first. I can go out as much as I want, I can go to bed when I want and get out of bed when I am ready to or need.

Do not get me wrong I realy do want to be married as I have said for many years but I need to think about something else or otherwise I would be crazy. Do you get me?
 

umm hussain

Junior Member
marriage

First of all I think you have posted this topic under the wrong heading, this is an introduce yourself column when you first come onto the site.

Anyway, I have heard so many times about brothers or sisters who cant find someone to marry due to some reason or the other. There is one story that stands out though. Two family's grew up together lived in the same neighborhood and the children played together now when the young boy grew up he asked if he could marry this girl he grew up playing with after some time of searching for someone to marry only to be told that he couldnt because he wasnt "Bangoli" i.e he wasnt from Bangladesh. To say the least I guess it caused tension between the families now, and Allah knows best. But do you see how petty some people are. Have you asked yourself if the search criteria you are looking is too much. I mean are you searching for the right qualities in a spouse and is your family making most of the decisions for you. Some sisters believe they can only marry a cousin, these are sisters from Pakistan mainly so if a cousin isnt proposing they 'cant' marry anyone else because the family is going to stop talking to them, basically they are going to be the 'black sheep' of the family.

I have stopped looking for brothers for some sisters I know because they are just too fussy it is almost unbelievable. Another sister is 40yrs old and she wants a man with a University Degree, and a house not on Mortgage among other things but these are the main 2 if you notice there is no mention of deen, only dunya. I know you can marry anyone and use any criteria but this is just crazy. I am not making this up. Another sis doesnt want someone who is 'illegal' in the country. She has been single for years, I would say 10+ and she complains she cant find a husband, a brother from Somalia is looking for someone to marry, he is upon Quran and Sunnah and Allah Knows best but his application to stay is still pending and she said she doesnt want because she is British and he might be marrying her for her passport. I mean to prove that it wasnt the papers he was after he has been living in this country for a couple of years now and he doesnt even want to do the registers office marriage to get papers all he wants is a wife. At the same time not denying the fact that there are some people who only get married for a stay but you cant go around being suspicious of people and besides you can do istikhara.

Another sis who is recently divorced,she has completed her waiting period she asked me to find a brother for her and she says she doesnt mind being 2nd wife she is almost 30years now with 2 young children. I found a brother for her who wanted a second wife and he is about 38years old and she turns around and says she wants someone younger, 'preferably never been married before' and doesnt want to be 2nd wife anymore. Another sis has 2 children almost 30years old but just doesn't want to be 2nd wife even though some brothers have offered to marry her and in all these cases i am talking about very sincere brothers but Allah always knows best. One single brother was 'interested' but called it off after meeting her and realizing she was black. He was 30years old and a couple weeks later married someone else white he is Arab.

I have noticed as well some Arab brothers will only marry white sisters.

You might be wondering how I know all these brothers....... lol? Through my husband, he does the searching on my behalf. I just let him know there are sisters who need someone and he notifies the brothers and i notify the sisters but for now we dont want to be involved anymore there are a lot of fussy sisters out there.
 

shaz_1999

Junior Member
I totally understand what u say I am not dat fussy I do look at how into Islam they are but I also need to see myself wake up next to dis guy u know for da rest of my life like.

Please make dua for me I realy do want to get married.
 

Dawoodi

Junior Member
salam w

maybe the sisters are not fussy but their parents are!

i did comment on this issue before how i was loking for a wife for long long time but Allah its the best planer alhamdulillah.

salam w
 

yasmin623

Junior Member
I think everything is in the hand of Allah. I personally get married with someone that I don`t really expect. I dream of some other type of husband but what I get is someone totally different from my criteria. Anyway, I have to accept too and try to conduct my marriage and family according to the Quran and Sunnah.

I also did not really plan to get married at that time but situation just pushed me to take that step. Now that I am a wife for several years I could see my own improvement in life.

By the way, i strongly encourage you to find a non-muslim and introduce Islam to her/him...In that way, you are not only getting a wife/husband. You save a person from hell...Most of all, doa to Allah.:tti_sister:
 

kheloufi

New Member
salam alaykoum, je souhaite me marier avec une femme convertie a l'islam de canada et de n'importe quel pays d'europe,s v p veuillez m'aider a trouver une femme convertie,je vous remercie, salam alaykoum.
 
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