money on eid?

[q8penpals]

Salam

You're right - I do not believe it is small children's fault, but that doesn't mean that I have to bow down to their lack of education and poor manners and just give them money because. Even before becoming Muslim, I was never one who bought "required" gifts; Perhaps when i tell the kids when they beg and whine, that I do not give money to children who beg (especially because the ones who beg the most come from families with more money than me!), and insha'Allah, next year, they will have better manners and I will see that they can benefit from receiving money from me, then they will get money.

But I am not talking about 5 and 6 year olds, I have been talking about 12-13, 14 year olds - kids who are way old enough to know better anyway, if not Islamically, at least by basic manners.

I do not support any type of feeling of entitlement by anyone, young or old. Even when it comes to inheritance - I truly feel that if my parents die happy, spending their last drop of money, I will feel satisfied; I do not feel entitled to the money that my parents worked their whole lives to earn. If I DO get something as an inheritance, I will see it as a loving bonus; but I am not entitled to have my parents' money; they earned it, they raised me well, and they can spend it all if they wish. Too many people my age actually COMPLAIN when their parents take a vacation or remodel their home or spend large sums of their savings because they are spending money that can be left to their kids. So it is probably people who think this way, that raise their children to believe that they are ENTITLED to Eid money (or other gifts for other things), even if they are rude about it.

The way I was raised (as well as many of my close friends) was that any gift you were given was just that...a gift. If I invited friends to my birthday party, their attendance was the biggest gift - if they brought me something, it was a bonus. When I invited family to my wedding, it was the point of SEEING my family that was the biggest gift (and I have a branch of my family that has very little money - they bought me a card and no gift; I think I gave them a gift because they had a wonderful meal and a fun day with family - knowing that means more than any gift they could give me).

Gifts are gifts, not requirements. Yes, it is nice to give to kids, but I will not give to kids who, when I walk in the door, run up and hold open their wallet or little purse and say, "Give me my Eid Money!" I just say, "Sorry, I don't have anything for you."

 

[abdie]

Salam

You're right - I do not believe it is small children's fault, but that doesn't mean that I have to bow down to their lack of education and poor manners and just give them money because. Even before becoming Muslim, I was never one who bought "required" gifts; Perhaps when i tell the kids when they beg and whine, that I do not give money to children who beg (especially because the ones who beg the most come from families with more money than me!), and insha'Allah, next year, they will have better manners and I will see that they can benefit from receiving money from me, then they will get money.

But I am not talking about 5 and 6 year olds, I have been talking about 12-13, 14 year olds - kids who are way old enough to know better anyway, if not Islamically, at least by basic manners.

I do not support any type of feeling of entitlement by anyone, young or old. Even when it comes to inheritance - I truly feel that if my parents die happy, spending their last drop of money, I will feel satisfied; I do not feel entitled to the money that my parents worked their whole lives to earn. If I DO get something as an inheritance, I will see it as a loving bonus; but I am not entitled to have my parents' money; they earned it, they raised me well, and they can spend it all if they wish. Too many people my age actually COMPLAIN when their parents take a vacation or remodel their home or spend large sums of their savings because they are spending money that can be left to their kids. So it is probably people who think this way, that raise their children to believe that they are ENTITLED to Eid money (or other gifts for other things), even if they are rude about it.

The way I was raised (as well as many of my close friends) was that any gift you were given was just that...a gift. If I invited friends to my birthday party, their attendance was the biggest gift - if they brought me something, it was a bonus. When I invited family to my wedding, it was the point of SEEING my family that was the biggest gift (and I have a branch of my family that has very little money - they bought me a card and no gift; I think I gave them a gift because they had a wonderful meal and a fun day with family - knowing that means more than any gift they could give me).

Gifts are gifts, not requirements. Yes, it is nice to give to kids, but I will not give to kids who, when I walk in the door, run up and hold open their wallet or little purse and say, "Give me my Eid Money!" I just say, "Sorry, I don't have anything for you."

i agree with every on think u said but going back to the eid think i really don't care for it when the kid past the age of 10 and i believe that the whole point of eid money is to make the kid happy and it really it doesn't have to me money too as long the kid is happy on eid the is the whole point and that parents really should teach their kid to give more and not to accept to get all the time so yea well i just went to say that i will add more when i get time but for know i really need to turn of the computer as it is too late w/salamu have a good one

 

[Asja]

:salam2:
No its not the same because people associate eid money with Islam. bid3ah means 'introducing newly practiced things into the deen'

PC and TV are not bid3ah because who did introduce these things to Islam or claim it to be a part of Islam? None!

But eid money they associate it into the deen. so in some way if they see it as part of sunnah to give money to people then it's bid3ah Allahu A3lam
after all we have zakatul fitr(food)
and also why call it 3eid Money? did the prophet and his companions do it or was it started by an old man 600 years after the prophet saw?

:salam2:

That is exactly what I have said. Thank you brother Heegan for reapiting after me.

 

[podolski11]

yes i have to agree with idris16 comments cause every1 nowadays thinks like that...eidi money is like a must or else its like this man has no respect for other peoples children and the news channels here dont talk eid based on Islam but they say eid is coming so children are waiting for their "eidi".....the last thing we needed was the media encouraging kids that eid is all bout money jz like cristmas is about santa

 

[Asja]

yes i have to agree with idris16 comments cause every1 nowadays thinks like that...eidi money is like a must or else its like this man has no respect for other peoples children and the news channels here dont talk eid based on Islam but they say eid is coming so children are waiting for their "eidi".....the last thing we needed was the media encouraging kids that eid is all bout money jz like cristmas is about santa

Assalamu allaicum brother

We have to understand that children are not like adults,and thier own thinking,feelings,and thier wishes and dreams are not like of adults. Parents and other elders should learn children to love and mercy,and giving money or some other gifts is one of the ways Alhamdulillah.Children can not understand and think the same like adults. For them Eid is going in mosque,buying new Eid clothes,playing with other children,reciving Eid money and other presetns.And that is exactly what Eid should present for children Alhamdulillah,because children should be learned to Islaam step by step and with beautiful things. Because if we present Eid to our children on this way,they will now it is part of our religion Islaam and they will see how beautiful is our religion. To reapet once again children are not thinking the same like adults,neither they will ever think like adult persones. So we must make seperation there for good sake,Inshallah.

Our beloved RasullAllah sallahu alayhi wa saalam is example how we should behave toword children and how patiente we should be with them Inshallah.

Child is like seed,you need to water it so he can become a rose.

And Allah Almighty is the Best Guider.:tti_sister:

 

[ShyHijabi]

Salaam,

I agree with sister Q8penpals 1000%. One of the things that has taken the most getting-used-to was the different way children are treated in the mosque. When I was growing up we had to be on best behavior in the temple. We were not allowed to speak loudly (we could whisper a question to our mother), run around, or do anything from sit quietly while the "sermon" was given.

So far every mosque I have visited have children running up and down the prayer lines, yelling, playing tag, etc., I thought this was an isolated incident the first time I saw it but now I realize it is more of the norm. This last Ramadaan was the worst in observed behavior. Children were literally shoving old women aside when the eid candy came out. They were yelling at adults and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, I couldn't believe it!

Children are like very young trees, they need guidance in order to grow straight and strong. Perhaps you've seen the sticks taped to the sapling so it doesn't bend over? But there is this permissibility among the ummah with children, this lack of guidance that turns out spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement. My children (insh'Allah) will NOT be raised that way. They will know guidance and discipline, they will learn to truly appreciate whatever gifts they are given. And they WILL behave in the mosque or else I will beat their little behinds right there in front of everybody.

 

[podolski11]

Salaam,

I agree with sister Q8penpals 1000%. One of the things that has taken the most getting-used-to was the different way children are treated in the mosque. When I was growing up we had to be on best behavior in the temple. We were not allowed to speak loudly (we could whisper a question to our mother), run around, or do anything from sit quietly while the "sermon" was given.

So far every mosque I have visited have children running up and down the prayer lines, yelling, playing tag, etc., I thought this was an isolated incident the first time I saw it but now I realize it is more of the norm. This last Ramadaan was the worst in observed behavior. Children were literally shoving old women aside when the eid candy came out. They were yelling at adults and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, I couldn't believe it!

Children are like very young trees, they need guidance in order to grow straight and strong. Perhaps you've seen the sticks taped to the sapling so it doesn't bend over? But there is this permissibility among the ummah with children, this lack of guidance that turns out spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement. My children (insh'Allah) will NOT be raised that way. They will know guidance and discipline, they will learn to truly appreciate whatever gifts they are given. And they WILL behave in the mosque or else I will beat their little behinds right there in front of everybody.

mayb thats why muslims kids usually end up on crack nowadays...parents working 24/7 to make money rather than teach their kids Islamic values......plus living in a non muslim environment is even more dangerous i presume since the people there have have no religious values and they can quickly affect the kids and take them on the wrong side of the road.....

 

[um_mustafa]

Salaam,

I agree with sister Q8penpals 1000%. One of the things that has taken the most getting-used-to was the different way children are treated in the mosque. When I was growing up we had to be on best behavior in the temple. We were not allowed to speak loudly (we could whisper a question to our mother), run around, or do anything from sit quietly while the "sermon" was given.

So far every mosque I have visited have children running up and down the prayer lines, yelling, playing tag, etc., I thought this was an isolated incident the first time I saw it but now I realize it is more of the norm. This last Ramadaan was the worst in observed behavior. Children were literally shoving old women aside when the eid candy came out. They were yelling at adults and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, I couldn't believe it!

Children are like very young trees, they need guidance in order to grow straight and strong. Perhaps you've seen the sticks taped to the sapling so it doesn't bend over? But there is this permissibility among the ummah with children, this lack of guidance that turns out spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement. My children (insh'Allah) will NOT be raised that way. They will know guidance and discipline, they will learn to truly appreciate whatever gifts they are given. And they WILL behave in the mosque or else I will beat their little behinds right there in front of everybody.

Beautiful answer sister, it is so true , there is no discipline these days , we must seen so old fashioned ! I would spank my child as well if they behaved like that, alahamdulilah even though I was not brought up a muslim my mother instilled in me basic good manners and good behaviour which I am deeply gratful to her for, inshallah we can give this to the next generation,
w/salam your sister
Ameenah