She says I'm "too strict" a Muslim...

beyonder

New Member
your a good guy and have insight, like you said. advice her too proper conduct and see what she does and if nessary move on..
sadly you missed the clues at first and should have moved on quicker.
IHO.
 

beyonder

New Member
the whole mortgage thing is tough in the USA. because i would only buy a home i was forced to buy a very modest home. if i did got a mortgage i could have had a very nice home in a better area, because i do not really like the area i live or the house, but i have one and it serves it's need. that is how bad it really is. do we need a home or a castle? people mortgage because they like new cars and nice things to impress people and the buy now pay later western way is considered normal and reasonable and that is bad. people my put down my 20 and 12 year old autos when i drive down the street but what does Allah think? i do not waste my money on many things that are bad and people think i am old fashioned, poor, a miser or some other insult. but this is not the point of life. the point is not in western acceptance. i see muslims in fancy cars and over sized homes and think humm?? but if you tell them the fact of their mistakes they follow western thinking and assume you desire what they have and think you should have it.
i was born what americans call rich and accordant to western economics am the top 1% of the richest people in the USA and the world. because i own everything i have. i have only what i need and spend little and wish i had more to give the poor. few people would know this about me looking at me or knowing me. but in reality i am far from rich and have little posessions and only buy when something wears out and repair what i can. so i look like a poor person. i have had people assume i was very poor and tried to help me and out of politieness had to explain to them my ways.

but why should i waste my time? to help others. that is why i hope this young man talks to this sister of the errors in her thinking.
 

BrotherKhalid

Junior Member
As salam 'alaikum,

I was once told by a dear brother that I should seek a wife who is more religious than I, and it was what he did. I'm happy to say that he is now very happy in his marriage (he has given me permission to say this) and says his wife constantly inspires him to improve himself for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

Wa salam.
 

hana*

Junior Member
i wish there were more people in the world like the brother who originally wrote this post. what more would a girl want that a pious husband?
 
:salam2: You dont sound strict. She has to meet a person like my husband lolll. He does not allow any jacket shorter then ankle length. Socks have to be thick. Hijab AND NO MAKEUP. And naqab would be preferred but does not force that is upto me.I used to sing before i even stopped singing. I used to wear nail polish i stopped that cause wudu is not proper if you wear nail polish .No riba so no house yet. We are waiting to collect enough to buy a house. He had collected money before we got married but he gave it to his mom so that she could buy a bigger house. Then he got married to me and whatever we had collected in 1 1/2 yrs he gave a few months back to his sister to help her to buy a bigger house. Now i hope it is our turn;) . But the only reasons these things dont matter is cause he is very nice to me and i love him for everything he does for me.
 

hana*

Junior Member
sister, thats ashame that you do not have a house yet, is there no halal mortgages in usa? theres halal mortgages here in scotland alhamdulilah.Alllah make it easy for you, and inshaALLAH you will have a PALACE in paradise, not a house
 

allah rakkah lav

i love allah alone
Brother you are doing teh right thing and please do not sacrifice ur iman for anyone.Perhaps she is not good enough for you.There is no such thing as moderate muslim and we must sacrfice our iman for others.
You are such a wonderful muslim and please search a woman who can take you to jannah.a solehah woman will never complaint to all the above things.

insha Allah
sister is correct the same only i wish to advice for you


dont change your nature for anyone except Allah and make sure your nature is halal .......
 

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
Should I compromise my principles? She describes herself as a "moderate" Muslim. I am just Sunni - and obey the Sunnah as I am taught to.

I'm not quite sure which way to go here.

:salam2:
Brother you are on the right path. Just continue on it and InshaAllah you will get a better Muslimah who will compliment you.

For "moderate Muslim" I will ask if there is a "moderate Jahanum" or a "moderate Jannah" too ???
Brother Danyal... Stay on the right path and ... Don't worry be happy !!!

:wasalam:
 

salahdin

Junior Member
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ


Wa aleikum musalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu bro hope you well


The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper".

( Marriage quotation from Bukhari and Muslim)

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half."

( Marriage quotes from At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim)

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The whole world is pleasure, and the best pleasure of the world is the righteous woman.”

( Quotes on marriage from Muslim)

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal."

( Quotes on marriage from Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)

- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
`A Muslim man can acquire no benefit after Islam greater than a Muslim wife who makes him happy when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and protects him when he is away from her in herself and in his property.'

( Quotes on marriage from Nasa'i)

5- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

`The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.' ( Quotes on marriage from Tirmidhi and Nasa'i)
 

LaLa09

♥Amor vincit omnia♥
(If this should be in the Brothers Only area I apologize; feel free to move it if so).

Asalaamu alaikum


I've been talking to a sister in another country. I thought things were going OK until I suggested we make arrangements for me to meet her.

She wrote me a very long email saying she feels I may be "too strict". She listed examples such as me fearing riba (I am wanting to get out of my mortgage), me not listening to music, and that I am strict about hijab (I would rather my wife not wear pants outside the house - let alone stretch pants). She was even bothered when I asked if her father was OK with us emailing (I've talked to other sisters online before about marriage and their walis were ALWAYS copied in the emails, with this sister he wasn't).

The brothers at my masjid told me that had a woman told them what she told me they would be flattered. And that they would probably move on.

Should I compromise my principles? She describes herself as a "moderate" Muslim. I am just Sunni - and obey the Sunnah as I am taught to.

I'm not quite sure which way to go here.


I don't think you should, there are plenty of other people out there inshallah.
 
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