How'd you give up the most difficult sin for yourself?

[NewMuslim]

As Salaamu Alaykum
Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem

Which sin were the most difficult to give up? Please share your stories about how you're doing and how you gave them up.

The hardest thing I've given up was dating. An interesting story. I heard in school before I became a Muslim that Muslims can't date. Right then and there I said "I am NOT converting to Islam". However, a couple of weeks later, I did. I was reminded of the whole dating issue, and I tried ignoring it as much as possible.

I was unsuccessful. First, I open the Qur'an to random passages and I read verses that say things such as "And those who, when they are reminded of the Ayat of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat" (Surah al-Furqan, Ayat 73 (25:73)).

Afterwards, I continuously see dating issues everywhere! "Is dating allowed?" and all that stuff. Even on this site!

I learned about Istikharah (prayer of guidance), and I prayed it concerning not the real issue on my mind, but concerning music. I got the answer to BOTH issues (even though I prayed for one for I didn't want to know the answer for dating). "Be careful of what isn't clear (I.E. you don't know if it is Haraam or Halal) lest ye fall into sin" was the answer I got for music. For dating, I just got a flat out "dating is Haraam". Of course, I didn't have a vision or anything, but it's how Allah talks to non-Prophets, you have a strong feeling in your heart and you know you'd never say such a thing and that you couldn't say it.

So yes, I cried. I didn't want it to be. Eventually, I prayed that I had "submitted" (yeah right) and I got back to flirting. This happened 3 times until Janruary 2nd of this year. Alhamdulillah, I finally gave it up for good. I lost it a couple of weeks ago when I was about to do it when (by Allah's Mercy) the girl walked away. Bittersweet.

Sometimes, I'm shaking as a person who smokes but hasn't had a cigarrette for weeks (though not as severe) but I get over it.

It was a long story. Share your stories!

 

[subhanallah]

I lost it a couple of weeks ago when I was about to do it when (by Allah's Mercy) the girl walked away. Bittersweet.

:salam2:
Lol, I don't know why that made me laugh so much.. I never realized flirting was such a hard thing to keep away from. But anyway: I congratulate you for your success

The hardest thing I've done, was to end the friendship of my two best friends.. One influenced me in a bad way and lead me to a non-islamic lifestyle (even though she too was a muslim) and the other.. well, the other is too complicated to be told about.

Giving up ficiton books was also hard.. I'm still struggling! But I've ordered an islamic book that someone here recommended me reading and I'll inshallah get it tomorrow.. I'm so longing for a story to hold in my hands and read while drinking a cup of tea and eating my favourite chocolate.. However, I don't regret what I've done. I know it was a bad habit that caused me more harm than good (goes for that friend too) and I'm happy that I could give it up, alhamdulillah.

 

[Abdul-Raheem]

:salam2: Brother,

I can relate to your situation Newmuslim. I've never dated before nor intended to but sometimes girls just won't leave you alone. It often starts of as normal conversation then before you know it, they're flirting unashamedly. I find it quite embarrasing and after a while it gets quite annoying. If you can keep your ego in check and not get involved in the chit chat, you'll be fine

wasalam

 

[boupj]

as a girl it's hard not to flirt although I try to be concious about it, but it's hard because society teaches women that the easiest way to get what you want is to put a smile on and use your "sweet voice" then a man will do anything you want. Like one man I worked with told me I was pretty enough that I didn't need to get an education, because men will support me (this was before i became Muslim) However two weeks ago at work I was done everything and really tired so I asked my boss if I could leave, and he said yes, but one of the guys pointed out that I'd used my "sweet voice" (you know what I mean) and I felt so ashamed, I deserved to leave early because all my responsibilities were done, I didn't need to flirt, but out of instinct I did. Now that I've started wearing hijab it really reminds me that I should behave in a respectable manner, however sometimes the distinction between being nice and flirting is hard to find.

As for hard sins to give up, I'm still smoking, but Alhamdulillah I'm down to half a pack a day from a full pack. InshaAllah I'll quit soon.

 

[shaz_1999]

I wz finkin long &hard bat dis at first it wz muzic I usd 2listen 2it loads I mean all da time. Den@ nite wen I wz fallin asleep wid da lyricz in my head I knew I had to stop it wz so hard at 1st but I havnt listnd 2it 4 bat 3 or 4 years now it wz hard but I did it.

Also da oda fing wz 4so many years I hav wantd 2get marid &settle dwn, anyway I had a m8 dat I met off da net he wz 4rm anoda country @1st I just usd 2lean n him coz had loads goin n@ hme. Anyway wen da fings died dwn @hme I told him I coudnt talk2 him anymre. Anyway he wz cool but den afta bat 7 months da stuff startd again @hm so I startd chtin2 him again. Yes u gussed it I fell in love wid him. I told my m8s dey were kool so wz 1of my sisters my oda sisters wz mre crticle coz of da way we met. So I decided 2get da opinion of a Shaykh &b4 I did I fought wat he says iz wat im gona do. He goes a father cannot accept diz he says it wz up2me. Anyway it wz so hard to give up talkin 2him coz I leaned on him alot. I havnt spoken 2him sinced 1st Jan &I also havnt emaild me for ova a week nw.

I am stuglin mre wid dis den I wz wen I gave up muzic. Da reason probly iz coz I rely do wnt 2get marid me &diz guy did rely get n2.

Im still struglin but Inshallah Allah will find me sme1. If I wz ment 2marry diz guy it will still hapn da way dat Allah wills.

Hope it mks sense

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

I don't know what you mean by 'sins' but i know that being a Muslim in a mostly non-Muslim dominated area is hard.

When I was in like the regular school it was so funny how each grade had it's cliques and how within each group the guys and girls behaved...
i don't know if people would understand this, but if you had the Preps and Jocks in one room for long it would make a person want to gaaag...

I think it just matters what kind of friends and situations you yourself are in. I have never dated, but at a certain age it was like everything was integrated or Haraam to do anyway. I had people invite me to their Birthday Parties, Sleepovers, Movies, Shopping for Gifts, Dances, etc etc and i had to keep saying 'no' so it came to the point where people had done things, learned things, and been places without me. Then they stop asking altogether (which is good in a way) It bothered me how in the beginning of the year you could start out with a certain group of friends, but by the end they were much closer and it was like you felt just... Odd.

But now that i'm homeschooled, the word friend has mostly become a past tense or written word... oh well. Alhamdulillah.

oh and what is pathetic is that i've had more guys flirt in a Muslim country than here. (this is not generalizing in any way, just what i found so far in my experiences. i know people are different though.) And the worst part is that what i've found is that the guys here mostly get the "no leave me alone" from hijab, and if they do bother you it's after a while if you've had to talk to them more, however where i am from i never said one word and they were already getting my cousin to hint stuff at me! PaThEtIc!!!

Allahu Alom. Allah Knows Best.

 

[Umm3mar]

Salamo Aleikom

:tantrum1: :angryblue: :angryred:

Can anyone guess what I struggle with? Al'hamdu'lillah, Allah SWT has guided me immensely and compared to several years ago, my temper has cooled greatly, but still, I do have a short fuse.

Al'hamdu'lillah, I don't have a problem with being flirtatious advances, nor am I the recipient of such advances. (I think being older helps, I believe it would be insanely ridiculous for a thirty-something muhajibi to be batting the eyes and using "the voice".

Actually, my problem is the opposite, I can't turn off the nagging mom voice even with hubby.

 

[faiz_fauzi]

Assalamualaikum!

The biggest issue for me is smoking!Its hard!Beleive me it takes more than words!Executing it is the hardest part!

 

[mohamedsede]

As with many, my biggest issue is smoking. I am a student currently and I am
confronted by stress daily. Inshallah I will quite for good.

 

[mohomed hassan]

make dua

make dua ,and avoid things which allah forbids

 

[umm hussain]

My biggest struggle was speaking to my mum in a respectful way. It can still be a problem if I let it but I know I am doing it for the sake of Allah, so it is getting easier. The best way to avoid any conflicts is to avoid speaking to her if i know there is going to be a potential outburst. The good thing is she is thousands of miles away so it is a lot easier. I dread the day I go back home, but inshallah we will have better conversations.

We had issues dating back to Jahiliyah, let us put it this way. I felt she didnt protect me when i was growing up e.g she would let me go out against the wishes of my dad, dating etc. Giving me a curfew sometimes till midnight, she didnt know where I was, who with, what I was doing, she just took my word for it and most of the times i lied to her but I think as mum she should have known better, that teenagers can be up to no good especially at night time.

At that point in time i couldn't stand my dad because he wouldn't let me go and have 'fun' but alhamdulillah I now know he was just trying to protect me and I love him more now. The good thing as well with my mum she also now knows what will trigger my outbursts so she avoids confrontations as well so inshallah there shouldnt be a need to have a go at each other.

Let us put it this way, now i know better and I still love my mum and when we see each other we will have a really great time unlike when she last came to visit me,inshallah.

 

[virtualeye]

as a girl it's hard not to flirt although I try to be concious about it, but it's hard because society teaches women that the easiest way to get what you want is to put a smile on and use your "sweet voice" then a man will do anything you want. Like one man I worked with told me I was pretty enough that I didn't need to get an education, because men will support me (this was before i became Muslim) However two weeks ago at work I was done everything and really tired so I asked my boss if I could leave, and he said yes, but one of the guys pointed out that I'd used my "sweet voice" (you know what I mean) and I felt so ashamed, I deserved to leave early because all my responsibilities were done, I didn't need to flirt, but out of instinct I did. Now that I've started wearing hijab it really reminds me that I should behave in a respectable manner, however sometimes the distinction between being nice and flirting is hard to find.

As for hard sins to give up, I'm still smoking, but Alhamdulillah I'm down to half a pack a day from a full pack. InshaAllah I'll quit soon.

AssalaamuAlaikum Sister,

Muslims are told by our Prophet (SAW) to have cold voice when women talking to men and men talking to women, so that there can be any doubt about some ugly thing.



Wassalaam.
VE

 

[shmed]

i strugled with fiction books, man was i an addict! i could read a massive one in a day! sometimes i used to read the whole night! no sleep!

i still strugle with the telly, i have an addictive personality i guess.

 

[koala]

salam

:salam2:

my worst sin (which i have gotten past 7amdillah) is that i was VERY disrespectful to my mom....i would fight with her all the time and if she did one tiny wrong thing i would go for days with an icy face around her and aftermy anger would pass i would get a horrible feeling of guilt....omg i shudder everytime i think about it...then i realized that Allah probably hated me for this so after countless 'guilt feelings' i tried to stop...sometimes even clenching my jaws till my teeth hurt lol (intense anger) and crying with rage in the bathroom to prevent any horrible words from coming out of my mouth...then i got used to it 7amdillah...i cant believe i had such a temper...maybe it was because i was so young (around 14 15)...now my sister is starting to show the same thing but thank god IM around to check her (im the oldest)...shes nowhere as horrible as i was though....now i remain a sweet and well tempered young lady haha