Brothers, were/are you able to literally 'lower your gaze' in a mixed clg/uni/work

happy_friend

New Member
Salam Aleikum brothers and sisters,

I am very curious to know about the experiences of brothers who actually lowered their gaze or are doing in a mixed college / uni / workplace.

What was the initial reaction you got ?
How do you make them understand ?
What about situations where you were put unintentionally in a group/team to work on a project/assignment with females etc ?
How about not looking at your female teacher / professor ?
How long you were able to manage it ?
Anything you feel relevant ?

Please pour your heart out as your responses would really help me to gain knowledge as I am going to join a mixed university in a few days of time.

JazakAllah Khairan
Khushdost.
 

saifkhan

abd-Allah
Saalam alaikum

first of All: the matter about making understand: I'm nowhere bound to make them Understand why....and whatever they show a reaction, I dont care....Allah subhnhu wa ta'la and Rasool salla Allahu alihi wa sallam comes first....and why I'll be going to care and explain/make them understand. I the thing is: nobody actually want any explanation/show any type of reaction.

my frnds always used to do something like that....but I didnt...as much as I can, unless accidental....well for that I used to get 'comments' from my frnds....lolz....didnt care....even today if they do....they dont let me know or speak themselves in whispering tone......and I laugh.....waAllahi...today happened so....

when I was in college, I took biology and used to be in group of females....but no physical contact and no personal info excahnged......others used to do so....not all.....
I was lucky coz I used to be in group of modest girls....2were Hijaabi.....I didnt ever seen their hair......Allah saved me anyhow.....alhamdu li Allah
aaa..in University life...i got a few titles: mooody boy/doesnt play around....

teachers: I didnt ever used to put my attention in my lectures.....actully I'm self guided atleast in studies....more than 60%: i didnt attended.....used be in a proxy attendence...lolz...usually had male teachers....

Its all bout intention brother.....one who intends to do so....Allah will help
we should ask Allah for his help to save us and maintain our states.


And Allah subhanahu wa ta'la knows the best
wassalam
 

NAVEED

Junior Member
Well brother,this is a major issue for someone who cares.I am tested whenever I am at work. I have a constant battle with shaytan which by Allah's mercy I win sometimes and when I shows weakness in my emaan I lose sometimes and I feel so bad that I promise to my self not to do it ever again.Every day I have to start again with renewed passion so that I can please Allah SWT and defeat our enemy. best option would be is to keep praying to Allah SWT to make ourself strong so we don't lose this battle,Ameen I also felt so great when due to Allah's mercy I politely refuse to shake hands with our new operational manager when she joined our company and was introduced to staff
 

happy_friend

New Member
The D-Day came

I don't know how many of you really care or be interested to know about it, but i feel the urge to narrate my experience to the people who subscribed to this thread and following it from the beginning. Yesterday was the D-Day for which I originally created this thread, the first day of my college in a mixed classroom. Got a 'welcoming' environment by 16 girls out of batch of 20. If this wasn't enough, then two Hindu female teachers made us to do an activity called 'Ice Breaking' where one boy and one girl (purposely made by the female faculty to do that in pairs) had to form a line by keeping yours eyes closed and hands on the shoulder of the girl in the front. The first person in the line would keep his / her eyes open and rest would follow him/her and take a round of the premises. This was to 'build' trust in each other. When my turn came, i politely rejected and it broke the hell loose. She (the Hindu professor) got extremely annoyed and agitated, and asked me to stay back in the class. Then I told her due to religions reasons I can't do it, she was quick to tell me in a very rude and harsh manner, "Sorry, you made a very big mistake to enroll in this course". Guess what, this university is one of two only 'Muslim' Central universities in India. It is the biggest Muslim university in Delhi. Anyway, the session was over and I was told by a old friend of mine to expect getting taunted by her for next two years in the university.

Regarding the issue of not looking at women, after an experience of two days, this I what i can conclude:

1. Always sit at front seat otherwise you may have to see the bare hands, shoulders, back and straps of the females sitting at front

2. Look at the face when you ask a question to a female faculty and vice-versa. Don't look at her while she's giving her lecture or addressing the whole class

3. Don't initiate any communication with females if it's not necessary for you to do so.

4. If you do (as a requirement of your course), you can't help looking at her but keep it restricted to the academic discussion

This is what I did in the two days and plan to carry it forward.

Desperately need comments, reactions, suggestions, feedback etc

JazakAllah
 

saifkhan

abd-Allah
Saalam alaikum wa rahamtu-llah

great points...may Allah help you in your way..ameen
Jazak Allah for the thread

wassalam
 

arzafar

Junior Member
well it is tough.

when i wasnt a muslim it wasnt tough at all but after becoming muslim suddenly all women become kind of attractive. the best solution is to avoid mixed environments completely.

oh and those are some good tips. id like to add one more.

look like a religious muslim man i.e. beard + simple loose clothes etc. then most of the girls will run away from you.
 

happy_friend

New Member
well it is tough.

when i wasnt a muslim it wasnt tough at all but after becoming muslim suddenly all women become kind of attractive. the best solution is to avoid mixed environments completely.

oh and those are some good tips. id like to add one more.

look like a religious muslim man i.e. beard + simple loose clothes etc. then most of the girls will run away from you.

Well, its really tough. Its really nothing to do with the attraction but the uneasiness and awkwardness you have to face by being there in that situation. Its like your mind is always reminding to do one thing and the situation requires you to do another. Anyway, by Grace of God I do have beard and don't wear Jeans / casual clothes (limited myself to only formal clothes. Shirts + Trousers )
 

saifkhan

abd-Allah
well it is tough.

when i wasnt a muslim it wasnt tough at all but after becoming muslim suddenly all women become kind of attractive. the best solution is to avoid mixed environments completely.

look like a religious muslim man i.e. beard + simple loose clothes etc. then most of the girls will run away from you.

Saalam alaikum

brother you r kinda most percentage correct....aaa....90%...okay...95%
okay....giving you 99%...lolz.....I'd right something else....but I should be moved to brothers only are.....

when I wasnt a true Muslim...Inshaa'Allah..and Alhamdu li Allah I'm blessed...to be in the right way...

aaaaa....beard+loose garments+upper ankle trouser....ahhh......that surely do so........most of them sniff around...ha ha .....but alhamdu li Allah some pay respect.....both ladies and gents.....
All praise due to Allah

and Allah subhanahu wa ta'la knows the best
wassalam
 
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