Multiple marriage in Islam

Isra

aka Tree2008
As salamo alaikome

Inshallah this post will find all my brothers and sisters at TTI in good health and Iman.

I have another question and I know this subject has been discussed here many times so I apologise for the repeated post about it.

I know according to Islam the man is allowed up to 4 wives as long as he is able to meet the conditions put forth by Allah. My understanding was that he needed permission from his first wife before he is able to proceed with a second marriage and if he chooses to marry more he would have to get permission from his prior wives first. I was told by a born Muslim that this is not true and he does NOT need his first or ANY of his wives permission to marry another and if she doesnt like it all she is able to do about it is to divorce him.

I am confused as to which is the truth. If you could answer with proof I would appreciate it.

wa salam
 

AdamMuslim

Junior Member
Assalamou Alikom Warhmatou Allah,

First of all, Eid moubarak to all of you.

No sister, the husband does not need his wife's permission. It is only up to him and he needs only to be able to fairly provide for all of them. In the Qur'an we read:

"And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course. " (Al-Nissaa, 3-4).

Wassalam
 

dna1987

Muslim Guy
I don't see why someone would destroy a family like that. **If the first wife doesn't want the husband to take a second wife, and he does it anyway, she will divorce him. In which case, he is starting a new bond and strengthening family ties in one manner (with a second wife), but destroying what he already has in the first place.

Unless, such a husband knows that his wife will hate it, but does not have the capability to be divorced. Perhaps she is too dependent on him; that makes a cunning husband though, and a cunning person generally isn't too good a Muslim.

I can't imagine a good Muslim husband taking on another wife without discussing it with their spouse first or checking it will be ok with them. Such a person, in my opinion, will probably not treat his wives equally.

**

Assalam alaikum.
 

AdamMuslim

Junior Member
Assalamou Alikom Warahmatou Allah,

Why would a second, third or even a forth marriage break a family?
I do not think that a wife who divorces her husband because of a second marriage is right (it is even a sin!) unless she had demanded that her husband do not wed another wife before the marriage took place! The right to wed up to four wifes was given by Allah to the men of this Ummah and we shouldn't deny this divine right for the sake of some earthly things!

I could thing of so many situations where having many wifes is beneficial. For example, few years ago a friends' mother got very sick and went into a coma and, consequently, she couldn't satisfy her husband sexual needs. Because the husband couldn't wed another woman and didn't want to do Haram stuff he was obliged to divorce her even though he kept looking after her! If he were able to have two wives the divorce would not have occured.

This is our religion and we should not start adjusting it for the sake of the modernity or anything else. I am insisting on this because it is a serious matter even though, personally, I am pretty sure that I would never have more than one wife (if I get married of course!).

Wassalam
 

Amir_of_spain

Junior Member
The answer is no, he does not need permission from his 1st wife however the explanation of this is not what you may initially conclude. Sister's may think huh so men can just go behind our backs and marry another women, this is the wrong conclusion. The reason why the man doesn't need to ask permission is because if the 1st wife says no, i don't like it or i don't believe in it, or i think it's wrong; then she is going against the law of Allah ie allah's wisdom and decision making. So by not asking for permission it save guards anyone from saying 'no you can't do that, you're not allowed to' etc.

But obviously to keep the first wife happy, its only logical to ask her opinion if she is willing or not for extra company. Brothers must realise that society has changed soo much since the prophets time, many cultures are not accusmoted to having many wives per husband. In saudi and Africa it is something that people are brought up with, but in India or Malaysia, Turkey, Indonesia it is not part of the culture so you can't expect the 1st wife to say yes, when it is not a norm in her society. It is not compulsory to take on a 2nd wife so yes we can take feelings into account on this and make adjustments if people are not happy.

Amir
 

kayleigh

Junior Member
He doesn't technically need permission. Obviously that doesn't mean he should lie or deceive his first wife, and if you want things to go smoothly, then common sense tells you you shouldn't just be like, "Oh, hey, by the way I just married two other women. What's for dinner?"

I think in some countries a man does need legal consent of the first wife. Maybe that's where you got the idea.
 

arzafar

Junior Member
no he doesnt need any permission. however, he has to make all his marriages public so that the money and time can be divided equally.
 

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
:salam2:

He doesn't need permission, however it is highly advisable for him to inform his current wife about his intentions and future plans and consult with her. A wise man would reassure his first wife that this wouldn't mean that he would love her any less or ignore her or treat her differently.

Also, as brother arzafar mentioned any marriage can not be kept secret and has to be announced publicly.

A sister can have it included in her marriage contract that she wouldn't want her husband to take a second wife or she would divorce him.

These issues should be discussed by potential spouses before marriage to prevent any conflict after marriage. Both sides should get to know the opinions of each other on the matter. And if it is something important for the sister, then she should bring it up with her potential spouse and mention it that she would be uncomfortable with it (if she feels that way).

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi
 

Killi_Feyzo

Junior Member
well i am not a big fan of this multi-marriage
in my opinion it was allowed during the time of the prophet (sas)
because you could help the women their to start a life and give them food and stuff

but i want to remind on this aya

but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess

how you want to be fair if your wife does not agree on this marriage
i can not understand why a women causes a sin if she divorces from her husband because he married another women
that is not justice
 

Isra

aka Tree2008
As salamo alaikome

Jazakallah khairan to all who answered because I really enjoyed reading your responses. I found it very interesting that most of the females who answered could realize it is permissable according to Islam but they seem to have some reservations yet the males who answered defended and even went so far as to say if the woman divorces her husband for taking a second wife its a sin on her part (which by the way I would like proof of that since Im pretty sure our Prophet SAW gave permission for her to divorce him in the case that she cannot accept him married to another woman).

KayLeigh your post had me laughing so hard. Hahaha whats for dinner??? Too cute!!!
 

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
As salamo alaikome

the males who answered defended and even went so far as to say if the woman divorces her husband for taking a second wife its a sin on her part (which by the way I would like proof of that since Im pretty sure our Prophet SAW gave permission for her to divorce him in the case that she cannot accept him married to another woman).


:salam2:

You would have to ask a learned person in Islamic jurisprudence about that matter. We don't have enough knowledge to comment if that would constitute a sin or not.

We can ask Sh Assim Al Hakeem who holds online classes every sunday if you want us to. Please do let us know.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi
 

Made Sarah

Servant of Allah
Staff member
Assalamu 3alaykum. Sis, you can PM me the question and I will submit it to Shaykh Assim Al-Hakeem's attention (on Sunday), In sha Allah; please formulate it exactly how you wish and PM me. Wa 3alaykum assalam.
 

AdamMuslim

Junior Member
Assalamou Alikom Warahmatou Allah,

the males who answered defended and even went so far as to say if the woman divorces her husband for taking a second wife its a sin on her part

I wasn't very specific about it but that's true.
In Islam the wife could divorce her husband for various reasons. For example she could divorce him because she simply does not like him anymore! (The prophet PBUH allowed a woman to divorce her husband when she told Him PBUH that she didn't support her husband anymore!)

Before getting married, the bride could demand that her husband do not wed another wife. In this case she could ask for divorce when the husband want to have another wife. In all other cases, the wife could not ask for divorce only because of the second wife without being sinful.

There is lots of interesting material that explains this very well here.

And Allah knows best,
Wassalam




 

arzafar

Junior Member
As salamo alaikome

Jazakallah khairan to all who answered because I really enjoyed reading your responses. I found it very interesting that most of the females who answered could realize it is permissable according to Islam but they seem to have some reservations yet the males who answered defended and even went so far as to say if the woman divorces her husband for taking a second wife its a sin on her part (which by the way I would like proof of that since Im pretty sure our Prophet SAW gave permission for her to divorce him in the case that she cannot accept him married to another woman).

KayLeigh your post had me laughing so hard. Hahaha whats for dinner??? Too cute!!!

that's because of the social pressures and the prosperous economic conditions i.e. there is enough money out there and women can compete. the current system is just a century old and once it's goes (and it will go) women would kill to be part of a plural marriage especially of a man is wealthy.
 
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