Is it right to post personal stories here?

True_Sultan

A logical believer
Salam to my brothers and Sisters,

Is it wrong to write down sad stories about myself? Anyway if not here it goes.

I recently got back some of my exam marks...So i only get an A while the people that cheats or the people i had tutored got an A+ (100 percent). I feel so under-acomplished. I could do every single question during the study period. For some reason whenever a test or exam comes up, I usually mess something up, like circling the wrong answer even though I know what the right answer is by accident. And you remember sister "X" right? Well X got a 100% in calc while i messed up...idk how... =/ When ever i try hard i fail...Also recently when ever i think about the beyond or about my aspiration, i keep on thinking about the outcomes in the movie "Event Horizon" and it makes me mad...and kinda creeped out. Thanks to Sister Aapa who told me to watch the movie. I don't know my aspiration is slowly loosing its hold. While I was at University, I made dua, but could never do Salah, i feel bad...maybe thats why Im unsatisfied? I don't know brothers and sisters what to do. If I loose my mysterious enigma and my aspiration, I won't be special or gifted...Sure i am smart, but how can I show it, if I'm always committing stupid mistakes even if I studied the whole day....for 2 weeks. I have no gifts in like playing music or sports either...I don't wanna be un-special...Also sister "X" had texted (or SMS) me that I should go back to Ottawa because she misses me...:S Now that confuses me (this was her reply after I sent her and all my friends a christmas greeting, even though me nor some of my friends or in fact her celebrate it), even though she said she wants to be just brothers and sisters. Now i don't wanna make a mistake. What should I do about this?

Finally what should I do about feeling un-special and making stupid mistakes? I wanna be the best I can be, my family isn't in a great condition and I thought me graduating and getting a job with lots of money may help them, I wanna help them first before going into my goals...but I don't know if my goals exist no more....argghh...I'm a disaster...:shymuslima1:



P.S. Thanks for your dua's for before, they did help me by not making so much mistakes..
 

ahmed_indian

to Allah we belong
:wasalam:,

1. having aspirations is not bad. but we have certain limits.

2. a *sister* misses you? ahannnn....bro, make sure there is not something fishy.

3. muslims celebrating christmas. now thats another blunder!

may Allah help you dear akhi.:)
 

asalaf salih

Junior Member
Lil brother

I think it' s maybe time my lil brother to behave like a muslim. Don' t mix things. And talking to the no mahrams is haram!!
And not doing yo prayers is worst!!!
I think as muslims we should masha Allah use this site to help the nonmuslims believe in our Allah soubhanah.
May Allah help yo with the exams. :salam2:
 

True_Sultan

A logical believer
:wasalam:,

1. having aspirations is not bad. but we have certain limits.

2. a *sister* misses you? ahannnn....bro, make sure there is not something fishy.

3. muslims celebrating christmas. now thats another blunder!

may Allah help you dear akhi.:)

I think it' s maybe time my lil brother to behave like a muslim. Don' t mix things. And talking to the no mahrams is haram!!
And not doing yo prayers is worst!!!
I think as muslims we should masha Allah use this site to help the nonmuslims believe in our Allah soubhanah.
May Allah help yo with the exams. :salam2:


Yeah, so I agree with both of you, and thanks for the dua's. I hope u didn't misunderstand anything I have said. Firstly I know we have limits, but i mean idk not being successful or not having an aspiration and trying hard but not reaching your full potential makes me feel stupid, dumb, week, not special, and not worth it...Also no, nor do I or my muslim friends (which include "X") celebrate christmas, we just give season greetings (out of respect). Also not like I didn't pray, I prayed when I could. I live on residence during my stay and frankly I don't find the place clean...Also I don't know what this "X" wants. She tell me everything in her life. I helped and tutored (well kinda tutored) her in school, gave her hope and advice and i frankly started to care for her and it effected me in grades too as well as psychologically. She also confused me by saying She isn't the girl im looking for and that she wants to stay brothers and sisters. I'm like okay, yet she is still on my mind and now this..like she says "I wanted to check in on how your doing, see I told you I care" and "aww comeback I miss you"....I don't know what to do. I need to get out of this mental cycle in order to better myself...what to do?
 

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
Brother, you need to stop talking/texting/thinking about sister X asap. Don't you see Shaytaan's tricks at work here? You say you want to be "brothers and sisters"? There is no such relationship in Islam. Either she is your mahram, or she isn't. There isn't any other thing here. Stop talking to her, keep yourself busy in other things, and see how much better things become. Also, do try and become regular in your prayers. Even praying on dirt is okay . So inside a building, you should find any corner or empty classroom to pray in.
 

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
True_Sultan said:
I need to get out of this mental cycle in order to better myself...what to do?

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh brother. All I can say, is that you should do thes THREE things:

1.) Remember what you fell short of in your Deen (your Salat, mainly)

2.) The regret all of your sins and shortcomings

3.) Make Tawbah, and make a vow to Allah (SWT) that you will try your best to not do them again (like missing your Salat).

4.) Watch these:

[click here]

[and here]

5.) Distance yourself from this girl bro, because NO MATTER WHAT happens, the Shaytan will use her as a way to destroy you. Either by:

a.) Starting lustfull feelings/relationship
b.) Try to create a strong and strange desire in you towards her (even if you DON'T like her/feel serious about her)/
c.) He will use her to waste your time, time in which he will try to make both of you talk to each other for NO REASON whatsoever, in order that you don't spend your leisure time in doing good things.

6.) Listen to a lot of Quran (I suggest Afasy, al Mansary (almansari.net), Ghamdi, Ajmy, and Abdul Aziz Zahrani)

7.) Listen to (and also frequently remember) about: Death, the Questioning of the Grave, Yawm al-Qiyyamah, Jannah, Janaham, and in general, the Akirah, NO MATTER WHAT.

8.) Remember:

In authentic Hadith: Rasulallah (SAW) drew two (horizontal) lines infront of him (the first was close to him, and the other was further away from him than the first line), and he said, "This line (indicating the one that was furthest from him) is a man's desires, and this line (the closer one), is his death."


__________(his desires, wishes, and goals in this duniyah)________
l
l
l
l
(along the way, he reaches death before he could reach his desires)
(death)_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,__,_,_,_,_,_,__,_,__,__(death)
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
1.)the man (is trying to walk towards his goals)​

7.) So remember bro, it's not bad to get an education, work, or all that stuff, but as Muslims, we can NOT make this to be the purpose of our lives, because death will overtake us anytime, and we won't be asked about what we WANTED to do (in the Duniyah), but we will be asked about what we DID do while we were here.





8.) Also, I think you should try to take a day-off (meaning, just try to "chill" at home for a day, by not contacting your friends, doing homework, watching tv.) and just try to relax your mind (and maybe go to a (machine) massage parlar).

And Allah (SWT) knows best.
 

TheKnowledgeSeeker

A Believer In Heart
Assalamu Alaykum!!

As always the brothers/sisters gave awesome advice!! Just want to add PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!! If you don't pray you are not consider Muslim!! There was a hadith where Prophet PBUH, stated ""Whoever leaves the salat is not from amongst us." Pray, return to your Lord in prayer and in duas!! May Allah guide you!!
 

True_Sultan

A logical believer
:wasalam:,

1. having aspirations is not bad. but we have certain limits.

2. a *sister* misses you? ahannnn....bro, make sure there is not something fishy.

3. muslims celebrating christmas. now thats another blunder!

may Allah help you dear akhi.:)

I think it' s maybe time my lil brother to behave like a muslim. Don' t mix things. And talking to the no mahrams is haram!!
And not doing yo prayers is worst!!!
I think as muslims we should masha Allah use this site to help the nonmuslims believe in our Allah soubhanah.
May Allah help yo with the exams. :salam2:

Brother, you need to stop talking/texting/thinking about sister X asap. Don't you see Shaytaan's tricks at work here? You say you want to be "brothers and sisters"? There is no such relationship in Islam. Either she is your mahram, or she isn't. There isn't any other thing here. Stop talking to her, keep yourself busy in other things, and see how much better things become. Also, do try and become regular in your prayers. Even praying on dirt is okay . So inside a building, you should find any corner or empty classroom to pray in.

Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh brother. All I can say, is that you should do thes THREE things:

1.) Remember what you fell short of in your Deen (your Salat, mainly)

2.) The regret all of your sins and shortcomings

3.) Make Tawbah, and make a vow to Allah (SWT) that you will try your best to not do them again (like missing your Salat).

4.) Watch these:

[click here]

[and here]

5.) Distance yourself from this girl bro, because NO MATTER WHAT happens, the Shaytan will use her as a way to destroy you. Either by:

a.) Starting lustfull feelings/relationship
b.) Try to create a strong and strange desire in you towards her (even if you DON'T like her/feel serious about her)/
c.) He will use her to waste your time, time in which he will try to make both of you talk to each other for NO REASON whatsoever, in order that you don't spend your leisure time in doing good things.

6.) Listen to a lot of Quran (I suggest Afasy, al Mansary (almansari.net), Ghamdi, Ajmy, and Abdul Aziz Zahrani)

7.) Listen to (and also frequently remember) about: Death, the Questioning of the Grave, Yawm al-Qiyyamah, Jannah, Janaham, and in general, the Akirah, NO MATTER WHAT.

8.) Remember:

In authentic Hadith: Rasulallah (SAW) drew two (horizontal) lines infront of him (the first was close to him, and the other was further away from him than the first line), and he said, "This line (indicating the one that was furthest from him) is a man's desires, and this line (the closer one), is his death."


__________(his desires, wishes, and goals in this duniyah)________
l
l
l
l
(along the way, he reaches death before he could reach his desires)
(death)_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,_,__,_,_,_,_,_,__,_,__,__(death)
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
1.)the man (is trying to walk towards his goals)​

7.) So remember bro, it's not bad to get an education, work, or all that stuff, but as Muslims, we can NOT make this to be the purpose of our lives, because death will overtake us anytime, and we won't be asked about what we WANTED to do (in the Duniyah), but we will be asked about what we DID do while we were here.





8.) Also, I think you should try to take a day-off (meaning, just try to "chill" at home for a day, by not contacting your friends, doing homework, watching tv.) and just try to relax your mind (and maybe go to a (machine) massage parlar).

And Allah (SWT) knows best.


Assalamu Alaykum!!

As always the brothers/sisters gave awesome advice!! Just want to add PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!! If you don't pray you are not consider Muslim!! There was a hadith where Prophet PBUH, stated ""Whoever leaves the salat is not from amongst us." Pray, return to your Lord in prayer and in duas!! May Allah guide you!!

Enough advises saving u from being mad! Lil
Try to be serious Allah is watching you

You need experience in life.This whole girl boy thing is somewhat kidstuff,and also haram.

Wow, some interesting advices indeed. I have been taking a break and re-analyzed myself in order to help me go toward the right path. I see that being in the right path and being in happy terms with our lord is also a happy thing for us in this life. So i made myself forgive myself and I will try to get back to praying normally. And i hope i remember all the surah and dua I have learned these past few years. Also I hope i can ignore shaitains urges. Now I am a very critical and analytic person, some people think I only go by logic and not believe in religion, but I do.

Also to the brother who posted the hadeeth, can you explain more clearly? As in the first line of importance is a mans goals/dreams and his relation with god? And then death? and then our worldy desires? I can see why death comes first as we don't know when we return, but can u clarify? Also I will look into the videos.

Also I don't know how to stop contacting her, as in I feel like a bad person if I just leave her hanging you know. And why can't we be friends (because I had enough drama already). Also whats "Mahram"?

Also I might be going crazy, but I want to unlock my potential you know, and for some reason I can't, why is that. Now as one of my dear brother has said, its okay to have an aspiration but we have our limits, I agree and I know what I cannot find, inshallah Allah my dear friend will show me in Jannah (heaven). So I thought my aspiration for the beyond was just you know wrong as I thought i anaylzed some verses in the quran wrong (because my aspiration for the beyond grew stronger because of ayats such as 6:59 and the concept of the ghayb). Now i thought i was going crazy because people say that the ghayb is but only 5. Now my dear brother ayman1 says that its just a theory made by commentors and that the ghayb or the beyond is more. So does this mean my aspiration is not false and that it is truely a gift (as i hear everything we have in our world and our personality comes from Allah). Because if not then is it my brain just bringing it up to make me feel special?? Because I don't know how to explain it, but my call for the beyond is very mind consuming, like i shudder and stuff. I used to have dreams and stuff, but not any more, so is it really a call or is it just mental tricks as you can't aspire something or want something without knowing it, idk i have a feeling that i had this aspiration since i was young but don't know? :confused:

I don't know.
 

najbc

Junior Member
salam bro,
wallah as i was reading your story with the exam, i totally understand because i have the same problem, it sucks when i study so hard and i make a mistake. or my people i know didnt study as hard as i did, do better than me. however, i have always find a lot to make sure i pray salat, for i am a firm believer, you dont have allah with you, there is no success. my advice to you brother, is to first do salat alll the time and pray, praying has helped out alot. remember you are a muslim and Allah the might is on your side and you will success. this is just a test, be patent and insh'allah things will work out. good luck!!
 

Waseem203

Young Muslim
Salam True_Sultan

I've had similar issues in the past where my mark wen't down 5-10% on any given test though I had known the material. My first advice although you've probably heard it more times than you care to remember, is to sleep well before a test day. Really. You can't imagine how much it helps stop careless errors. In the past i've written tests with only two or three hours of sleep and i've never been able to scratch an A+ that way.

Second, dont underestimate any question. As erroneous creatures the possibility of making a mistake exists on any given question on any given test no matter the difficulty. I find that the careless errors I make most occur on the easiest questions because I don't bother to double check them. Coincidentally that's what makes them most annoying. Double-check, if time permits, your entire test.

Finally it would be best if you clear your mind before writing a test. If you're mind keeps wandering, then discipline it to stay focused and on task. You can practise on homework assignments. I've written tests when I was half-thinking of the answer and half-thinking of what my mom would cook this iftar. You can't expect to do as well as you presume if you're intellect is divided.

Does this problem occur often or was this test a one time thing? If it's the former then you have plenty of time to correct yourself before university or grade 12 when the marks really matter (are you in Canada?). If it's the latter, then really don't worry about it. You cannot be perfect on everything and i've learned that the hard way in chemistry this year. I'd be so stressed out; striving to get perfect on every single lab, quiz, test or whatever, and when I didn't i'd be on the verge of tears (i'm a nerd, lol). But then I learned that those numbers don't matter, what really matters is what I learned inside, and I found if you take a more neutral role towards marks, then they'll come easier.

Hope this helped.
 

True_Sultan

A logical believer
salam bro,
wallah as i was reading your story with the exam, i totally understand because i have the same problem, it sucks when i study so hard and i make a mistake. or my people i know didnt study as hard as i did, do better than me. however, i have always find a lot to make sure i pray salat, for i am a firm believer, you dont have allah with you, there is no success. my advice to you brother, is to first do salat alll the time and pray, praying has helped out alot. remember you are a muslim and Allah the might is on your side and you will success. this is just a test, be patent and insh'allah things will work out. good luck!!

Salam True_Sultan

I've had similar issues in the past where my mark wen't down 5-10% on any given test though I had known the material. My first advice although you've probably heard it more times than you care to remember, is to sleep well before a test day. Really. You can't imagine how much it helps stop careless errors. In the past i've written tests with only two or three hours of sleep and i've never been able to scratch an A+ that way.

Second, dont underestimate any question. As erroneous creatures the possibility of making a mistake exists on any given question on any given test no matter the difficulty. I find that the careless errors I make most occur on the easiest questions because I don't bother to double check them. Coincidentally that's what makes them most annoying. Double-check, if time permits, your entire test.

Finally it would be best if you clear your mind before writing a test. If you're mind keeps wandering, then discipline it to stay focused and on task. You can practise on homework assignments. I've written tests when I was half-thinking of the answer and half-thinking of what my mom would cook this iftar. You can't expect to do as well as you presume if you're intellect is divided.

Does this problem occur often or was this test a one time thing? If it's the former then you have plenty of time to correct yourself before university or grade 12 when the marks really matter (are you in Canada?). If it's the latter, then really don't worry about it. You cannot be perfect on everything and i've learned that the hard way in chemistry this year. I'd be so stressed out; striving to get perfect on every single lab, quiz, test or whatever, and when I didn't i'd be on the verge of tears (i'm a nerd, lol). But then I learned that those numbers don't matter, what really matters is what I learned inside, and I found if you take a more neutral role towards marks, then they'll come easier.

Hope this helped.

Yes brothers, thanks for understanding. You are right, I have heard them alot, I try to implement them so much. For some reason i feel that its probably the stress and the fear or getting something wrong, i just wanna perfect everything I do you know. Anyway thanks for the advice, so now I hope u read my last post, do you think my aspiration is geniune? or am i crazy :lol:

And don't u think its wrong to just stop talking to anyone? Also I am still wondering what the hadeeth meant about those lines? and whats a Mahram?
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asaalaam walaikum,

I am glad to see your post.

First, a grade does not make a person..nor is always reflective of understanding. And in essence grades are a judgment. They have very little to do with the serious business of life. If you remove the importance of grades and concentrate on learning the material the grades will improve. When you study, study with Love. Study to please you Maker.

The girl thing. Be serious. If you like her and you are serious do the right thing. Ask to speak to her father and marry her. You can not play with your feelings nor hers.

If you are not ready to marry..wait it out. Keep in mind..Allah in His Wisdom only gives us enough knowledge to keep us responsible. Once we have demonstrated our responsibility He gives us more. What a blessing. Sometimes it is a blessing not to know..the more we know the more we have to be responsible. Me, I would rather take a long walk on the beach.
 

True_Sultan

A logical believer
Asaalaam walaikum,

I am glad to see your post.

First, a grade does not make a person..nor is always reflective of understanding. And in essence grades are a judgment. They have very little to do with the serious business of life. If you remove the importance of grades and concentrate on learning the material the grades will improve. When you study, study with Love. Study to please you Maker.

The girl thing. Be serious. If you like her and you are serious do the right thing. Ask to speak to her father and marry her. You can not play with your feelings nor hers.

If you are not ready to marry..wait it out. Keep in mind..Allah in His Wisdom only gives us enough knowledge to keep us responsible. Once we have demonstrated our responsibility He gives us more. What a blessing. Sometimes it is a blessing not to know..the more we know the more we have to be responsible. Me, I would rather take a long walk on the beach.

Yeah, but over hear everyone basses our intellect on the grades. Plus some people back bite and are jelous of me.so i have to deal with drama. Also i don't know, a 100% will make me happy. Also thanks, good to see Im wanted here. Also am I crazy with my aspiration and all that? because if u read my post i will explain my stance, just read it please =)

Also I don't know about her, she shows she cares and all that, but i don't know if i should think of marriage. And whats wrong with liking someone and just chilling with them? I mean as long as we don't do anything stupid its fine right? So forgot the girl problem right now, too much drama. I am going back for the next semester and i want to start of fresh. Also can u please read my last post and tell me if me having an aspiration of the beyond is crazy? :lol:
 

Waseem203

Young Muslim
Yeah, but over hear everyone basses our intellect on the grades. Plus some people back bite and are jelous of me.so i have to deal with drama. Also i don't know, a 100% will make me happy. Also thanks, good to see Im wanted here. Also am I crazy with my aspiration and all that? because if u read my post i will explain my stance, just read it please =)

Also I don't know about her, she shows she cares and all that, but i don't know if i should think of marriage. And whats wrong with liking someone and just chilling with them? I mean as long as we don't do anything stupid its fine right? So forgot the girl problem right now, too much drama. I am going back for the next semester and i want to start of fresh. Also can u please read my last post and tell me if me having an aspiration of the beyond is crazy? :lol:

If by 'the beyond' you mean the unknown, that which can never be grasped by us humans than yes that is crazy. I would never dedicate my life to that, that would be folly. If by the 'beyond' you mean astrophysics and the science of the big bang then no you are not crazy because that isn't the beyond to begin with. May I ask why you've been asking the same question for over a year now? Are you not understanding something or do you lack confidence to the extent that you need to be reassured on the same topic every few weeks? You know best what your aspiration should be...well God knows best, your second though....stop worrying what others have to say about it.
 

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
~Allah swt Is The Best Providers!

:bismillah:
:salam2:

Truly simple:

Remenbering the reason you got to the University
is
1.You parent trusted you and sent you study there.
2. The reason why you are there.

Focus on you study first and everything will keep to the order
Here, i can see your friends lead you to more disturbance
and mess your concentration!

I personally think you should quit giving tutors to other
and concentrate on your being best first
This is not selfish
But struggling to keep the promise to your parent,
that you completed your study
with flying colours!!!

So stick to that promise
Spare some thought for yourself :)

All The Best!
May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Take Care!
~Wassalam :)
 

True_Sultan

A logical believer
If by 'the beyond' you mean the unknown, that which can never be grasped by us humans than yes that is crazy. I would never dedicate my life to that, that would be folly. If by the 'beyond' you mean astrophysics and the science of the big bang then no you are not crazy because that isn't the beyond to begin with. May I ask why you've been asking the same question for over a year now? Are you not understanding something or do you lack confidence to the extent that you need to be reassured on the same topic every few weeks? You know best what your aspiration should be...well God knows best, your second though....stop worrying what others have to say about it.

Ahh okay, but what happens if we had the capacity to find some of the unknown? And i guess I will wait and see, but i believe its geniune. I feel confused and I do lack some confidence (lol) but mostly due to the fact when I feel i fail or i feel inferior or something makes me really mad, i kinda ask this question. I really don`t know. Brother ayman1 says to wait it out or something. I hope im not bothering people :(

:bismillah:
:salam2:

Truly simple:

Remenbering the reason you got to the University
is
1.You parent trusted you and sent you study there.
2. The reason why you are there.

Focus on you study first and everything will keep to the order
Here, i can see your friends lead you to more disturbance
and mess your concentration!

I personally think you should quit giving tutors to other
and concentrate on your being best first
This is not selfish
But struggling to keep the promise to your parent,
that you completed your study
with flying colours!!!

So stick to that promise
Spare some thought for yourself :)

All The Best!
May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Take Care!
~Wassalam :)

Ahh yes I should really take care of myself and take time out for me (and no one else) I mean for physics our professor isn;t straight forward and I like it straight forward (as in he gives no direct information and sometimes shows calculation that are just pretty general) and i got really pissed when i couldn`t answer a question, like i had the idea first, but didn`t continue it and it was due to reading the question inproperly and partly because the prof was showing something else. Also i feel kinda scared for making mistakes >.>

So what shall i do about this? and my (aparent) confidence issue (stated by my other brother) and I really don't know why, but i wish i had a gf or something, someone u can fall back on and u know love (without any sexual contact or adultury) cause i mean really, even if your parents know u well, how do u know if u can actually live with the girl??

Anyway Im back on campus, gonna set things right, keep advices coming and sorry for taking ur time :(
 

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
~May Allah swt help you~Ãmin!

:bismillah:
:salam2:

:allahuakbar:
Dear brother
but fear not Allah swt will always help and guide you~Amin!

Now,
Frankly on my point of view maybe one of these day, you could get into contact with someone near and like you've mentioned earlier.
I think the right and good person on this is someone from the muslim association like a councellor that can be reach and assist you at anytime~Insyaállah!
I am sure they be very happy and wise to help you.
Hope you can contact with one soon~Insyaállah!

What you encounter is a common thing among student who have heavy load of responsiblity and are away from their dear parent.

Relax~Take a/couple hour off to listen to qurán recitation or find some good nasheed on mp3 or surf Youtube for many great islamic channel.
Stay away from more stressful issue make many istighfar.
I'm sure you'll manage afterall you are an intelligent boy~

mashaállah!

~May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Take Care!
~Wassalam :)
 
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