Why Women Cry

[TheAuthenticBase]

Just a little something interesting I found online:

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?“

“Because I need to,” she said.

“I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.“

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?“

“All women cry for no reason,” his dad answered carelessly.

The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise shaikh (scholar). “He surely knows the answer”, he thought. “Ya Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?“

The Shaikh answered: “When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers.

You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.“

The little boy got the answer and never asked the question again.

Source: http://theauthenticbase.wordpress.com/2010/08/02/why-women-cry/

 

[miss_sunshine]

mashAllah what a great post. now i know the reason why i cry sometimes lol..

 

[sister herb]

:salam2:

Thanks about this nice story.

 

[besmiralalbani]

As-salamu alaykum

SubhanAllah!

 

[likeali4life]

Jazkallah..very nice

 

[saifkhan]

Salam alaikum warahmatu-llah

JazakAllah khair for the beautiful moral story,
subhan Allah nice, one.

ahem ahem, is this thread for the counter thread of "Women Drivers! lol!!!"...................
just joking man, never mind

barakAllahu feekum
wassalam

 

[WithAllahsPowers]

jazakullah kheir.

i felt like this yesterday, and cried more because i kept saying 'why am i crying, why am i so sensitive today, whats wrong with me' and cried more, loool. right now, im laughing at myself how i cried yesterday so much because i didnt know why i was crying.

now, i understand a bit, i love the sheikhs answer but im sooooo sorry, i dont get it.

okay, all the things in his answers, i get and understand execpt:

'And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers.

now, tears are for releif of griev yeah and no one wants or likes to cry, so why in this quote it sounds like its special for us to have the tears

and then when the father said:

You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.“

i understand of the beauty and where it comes from, but whats this to do with tears?


i am soooooooooooooooooo sooooooorrrrrryyyyyyy i am not questioning or saying its wrong, looool nooooooo. i just want help to understand it i promise thats all.

remember my illness causes me to be slow and lack of understanding please help me to understand.

i do laugh at myself why i cry for no reasons at times, like yesterday loool. so help me to understand.

it maybe specific to you but i mean nothing by what i asked. this thread is beautiful. please help me to understand it more.

 

[aisha16]

Love it! Beautiful!

 

[WithAllahsPowers]

how come i still dont get it.

 

[ahmed_indian]

And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively...

no akhi, tears are not the monopoly of women. :wink:

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.“

yes...thats true :tongue:

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

how come i still dont get it.

:salam2:

I will give it a try sister, but I am not sure if I understood or can convey it entirely.

But if you look at the sentences before the mention of ' He gave her a tear', all of them deal with the great endurance that a woman goes through various struggles and tough situations. So Allah azz zawajal gave her an emotional outlet that she can use to express herself and the Shaykh said that she doesn't need to explain why she is crying as she endures so much in her life patiently and restrains herself (when others would fail to, especially men !)

That's what I got from this thread. Maybe others can share their thoughts and understanding of it.

Hope it helped. Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

 

[WithAllahsPowers]

:salam2:

I will give it a try sister, but I am not sure if I understood or can convey it entirely.

But if you look at the sentences before the mention of ' He gave her a tear', all of them deal with the great endurance that a woman goes through various struggles and tough situations. So Allah azz zawajal gave her an emotional outlet that she can use to express herself and the Shaykh said that she doesn't need to explain why she is crying as she endures so much in her life patiently and restrains herself (when others would fail to, especially men !)

That's what I got from this thread. Maybe others can share their thoughts and understanding of it.

Hope it helped. Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

jazakuallah kheir, i understand it a bit now. thanks.

you know how all the things the shaykh said about a women, which indicates how speical a women is etc, then how come i heard that the most beings in hell will be women? i always think about this and get scared.

so if Allah made us so unique and gave us the ability to handle more than men, or something like that, then how come most women will be in hell?

i mean, shouldnt there be more men because men are responsible for their wives and they should be taking care of them, respecting them and doing all what is mention here, well some men dont do this, some men treat women unfairly and take advantage of them. some men are horrible and some are married and dont pray for example, and the wives do, or the wives feel they dont need to because their husband doesnt, so in this regard, the males responsibility still plays a big role with raising his wife. some fail, so why are there going to be more ladies in hell then men.
i always wished to understand this.

us ladies, we cry out of all the emotions and responsibilities we have, so Allah understands us because he gave us these tears as i understand from this thread, so why will there be women in hell more than men.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

jazakuallah kheir, i understand it a bit now. thanks.

you know how all the things the shaykh said about a women, which indicates how speical a women is etc, then how come i heard that the most beings in hell will be women? i always think about this and get scared.

so if Allah made us so unique and gave us the ability to handle more than men, or something like that, then how come most women will be in hell?

:salam2:

The answer of your question regarding why women will be majority in hell fire is in that same statement of Rasool SallAllahu Alleihi WaSallama. He SallAllahu Alleihi WaSallama clarified and mentioned what attributes lead women to enter in to hell fire in great numbers, which makes these things mentioned as major sins. Our fellow sisters and mothers should pay heed to this.

I will paste something relevant from IslamQA that will elaborate on it InshaAllah.

Praise be to Allaah.

It was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that women will form the majority of the people of Hell. It was narrated from ‘Imraan ibn Husayn that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I looked into Paradise and I saw that the majority of its people were the poor. And I looked into Hell and I saw that the majority of its people are women.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3241; Muslim, 2737)

With regard to the reason for that, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about it and he explained the reason.

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allaah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1052)

It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri said:

“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went out to the Musalla on the day of Eid al-Adha or Eid al-Fitr. He passed by the women and said, ‘O women! Give charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.’ They asked, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allaah?’ He replied, ‘You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religious commitment than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.’ The women asked, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what is deficient in our intelligence and religious commitment?’ He said, ‘Is not the testimony of two women equal to the testimony of one man?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Is it not true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?’ The women said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘This is the deficiency in her religious commitment.’”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 304)

It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “I attended Eid prayers with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He started with the prayer before the khutbah, with no adhaan or iqaamah. Then he stood up, leaning on Bilaal, speaking of fear of Allaah (taqwa) and urging us to obey Him. He preached to the people and reminded them. Then he went over to the women and preached to them and reminded them. Then he said, ‘Give in charity, for you are the majority of the fuel of Hell. A woman with dark cheeks stood up in the midst of the women and said, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allaah?’ He said, ‘Because you complain too much and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ Then they started to give their jewellery in charity, throwing their earrings and rings into Bilaal’s cloak.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 885)

Our believing sisters who learn of this hadeeth should behave like those Sahaabiyaat who, when they learned of this, did good deeds which would be the means, by Allaah’s leave, of keeping them far away from being included in that majority of the inhabitants of Hell.

So our advice to the sisters is to strive to adhere to the rituals and obligatory duties of Islam, especially prayer, and to keep away from that which Allaah has forbidden, especially shirk in its many forms which are widespread among women, such as seeking one's needs from someone other than Allaah, going to practitioners of witchcraft and fortune-tellers, etc.

We ask Allaah to keep us and all our brothers and sisters far away from the Fire and the words and deeds that bring one close to it.

Ameen !

Link : http://islamqa.com/en/ref/21457

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

i mean, shouldnt there be more men because men are responsible for their wives and they should be taking care of them, respecting them and doing all what is mention here, well some men dont do this, some men treat women unfairly and take advantage of them. some men are horrible and some are married and dont pray for example, and the wives do, or the wives feel they dont need to because their husband doesnt, so in this regard, the males responsibility still plays a big role with raising his wife. some fail, so why are there going to be more ladies in hell then men.
i always wished to understand this.

us ladies, we cry out of all the emotions and responsibilities we have, so Allah understands us because he gave us these tears as i understand from this thread, so why will there be women in hell more than men.

:salam2:

JazakAllahu Khayran for bringing this up. There is another very beneficial warning in the authentic narration of Rasool SallAllahu Alleihi Wa Sallama.

Let's read what the ruling from IslamQA says on this matter. Also contains another great warning for women.

This is a saheeh hadeeth which was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: “There are two types of the people of Hell whom I have not seen: men in whose hands are whips like the tails of cattle, with which they beat the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, maa’ilaat mumeelaat, with their heads like the humps of camels, tilted to one side. They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance.” This is a stern warning to beware of the things referred to.

The men in whose hands are whips like the tails of cattle are those who beat the people unjustly, like police and others, whether that is done by order of the state or otherwise. The state is only to be obeyed with regard to matters that are right and proper. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to what is right and proper.” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.”

With regard to the phrase “women who are clothed yet naked, maa’ilaat mumeelaat”, the scholars interpreted this as follows:

“kaasiyat ‘aariyaat (translated above as “clothed yet naked” may have another meaning, which is that they are enjoying the blessings of Allaah, but they do not give thanks for them and they do not obey the commands of Allaah or heed His prohibitions, even though Allaah has bestowed upon them wealth and other blessings.

The hadeeth is also explained in a different manner, which is that they wear clothes that do not cover them, because they are too thin or too short, so they do not serve the purpose of clothes, hence they are described as naked, and because the clothes they wear do not cover their ‘awrah.

Maa’ilaat (literally “deviant”) means they turn away from chastity and righteousness, i.e., they commit sins and evil deeds like those who do immoral actions, or they fall short in doing the obligatory duties, prayer etc.

Mumeelaat means they turn others away, i.e., they call people to evil and corruption, so by their words and actions they lead others into immorality and sin, and they commit immoral actions because of their lack of faith or the weakness of their faith. The point of this saheeh hadeeth is to warn against oppression and all kinds of corruption from men and women.

With regard to the phrase, “their heads are like the heads of camels, tilted to one side,” some of the scholars said that this means they make their heads look big because of the hairstyles they adopt and so on, so that it looks like the hump of a bakht camel. The bakht is a type of camel that has two humps between which there is a dip, so that one hump leans one way and the other leans the other way. When these woman make their heads look big in this way, they look like these humps.

With regard to the phrase, “They will not enter Paradise nor even smell its fragrance,” this is a stern warning; it does not necessarily mean that they are kaafirs or that they will abide in Hell forever, like other sinners who die as Muslims; rather what is meant is that they and other sinners are threatened with Hell for their sins, but they are subject to the will of Allaah. If He wills He will forgive them and if He will He will punish them. This is like the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, Allaah forgives not that partners should be set up with Him (in worship), but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He wills”

[al-Nisa’ 4:48]

If a sinner (who is Muslim) enters Hell, he will not abide therein forever like the kuffaar, and those who will abide therein like murderers, adulterers and suicides will not abide therein forever like the kuffaar; rather it is an eternity which will have an end according to Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah – in contrast to the Khawaarij and Mu’tazilah and the innovators who follow their path, because the saheeh mutawaatir ahaadeeth narrated from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) indicate that he will intercede for the sinners among his ummah and that Allaah will accept that intercession from him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) a number of times; each time He will specify a number who are to be brought forth from Hell. Similarly the rest of the Messengers, the believers and the angels will all intercede by Allaah’s leave, and He will accept their intercession for whomsoever He will among the believers in Tawheed who have entered Hell because of their sins but are Muslims. Then there will remain in Hell those sinners who are not included in the intercession of the intercessors, but Allaah will bring them forth by His Mercy and Kindness, and there will be none left in Hell but the kuffaar who will abide therein forever and ever. Allaah says concerning the kuffaar (interpretation of the meaning):

“whenever it abates, We shall increase for them the fierceness of the Fire”

[al-Isra’ 17:97]

“So taste you (the results of your evil actions). No increase shall We give you, except in torment”

[al-Naba’ 78:30]

And He says concerning the kuffaar who worshipped idols (interpretation of the meaning):

“Thus Allaah will show them their deeds as regrets for them. And they will never get out of the Fire”

[al-Baqarah 2:167]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, those who disbelieve, if they had all that is in the earth, and as much again therewith to ransom themselves thereby from the torment on the Day of Resurrection, it would never be accepted of them, and theirs would be a painful torment.

They will long to get out of the Fire, but never will they get out therefrom; and theirs will be a lasting torment”

[al-Maa'idah 5:36-37]

We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound from being like them

Ameen !

Link :- http://islamqa.com/en/ref/14627

 

[WithAllahsPowers]

:ma: BROTHERINISLAM7

that was beautiful to learn.

alhumdulilah i pray always, do extra prayers, fast, etc. im really close to Allah alhumdulilah. the only problem i have is i scream alot, shout at my kids. sometimes i can get out of control. i panic too much. i get frustrated easily too. i do have lots of anger inside me.

a sheikh told me this is because of my illness. the shaytan inside me feels this and it shows through me. the shaytan feels this because of the rukiyah and quran and salah i make.

but i still do not find this an excuse at all. why? because i notice i can control it, i can make myself not shout and scream. but at times, if something little made me angry or upset, then i become out of control. so much anger.

my brothers notice this, they always tell me to stop shouting, screaming, a women is not allowed to raise her voice like that and tells me im an example of what the prophet said about hell being mostly filled with women.

thats why i brought this topic up and get scared always.

my husband tells me Allah is forgiving and understanding, he is the judge and i should try very hard to control myself, and if i do try hard, then istikfar is needed always so Allah can help me in the is world and in the hereafter. he is supporting alhumdulilah and never tells me that im going to be one of the women who will fill the hell fire up.

i do feel bad i do this alot, i do hate it. but i cant help it at times. but still i blame myself. and ask for forgiveness. but the fact that i keep doing it, and then ask for forgiveness, will i still be earning Allahs forgiveness?

plus, what do you think about this shouting and screaming.

it all comes down to this beautiful thread mashallah, 'thats why i share so much tears' too much for me to bare. too much.

thank you to TheAuthenticBase for this thread. it helped me heaps to understand and inshallah i will benifit from advice given of this post. inshallah you will be rewarded for your reminder. i really enjoyed this thread. :mashallah:

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

:ma: BROTHERINISLAM7

that was beautiful to learn.

alhumdulilah i pray always, do extra prayers, fast, etc. im really close to Allah alhumdulilah. the only problem i have is i scream alot, shout at my kids. sometimes i can get out of control. i panic too much. i get frustrated easily too. i do have lots of anger inside me.

a sheikh told me this is because of my illness. the shaytan inside me feels this and it shows through me. the shaytan feels this because of the rukiyah and quran and salah i make.

but i still do not find this an excuse at all. why? because i notice i can control it, i can make myself not shout and scream. but at times, if something little made me angry or upset, then i become out of control. so much anger.

my brothers notice this, they always tell me to stop shouting, screaming, a women is not allowed to raise her voice like that and tells me im an example of what the prophet said about hell being mostly filled with women.

:salam2:

Loosing temper on children makes someone among the women of hell fire. Where is the daleel for this ?

I don't know if it is a sin to loose temper on kids. It is out of love for sure.. Maybe you can ask an Aalim/Shaykh regarding this..

I found a very helpful hadeeth regarding the topic of women in Hereafter.

The Prophet (pbuh) said,

"There are four women in Paradise and they are: a chaste and an obedient one to Allah and her husband, patient, content, coy, and reproductive who guards her husband's property and herself in his absence and holds her tongue in his presence. A widow who devotes her life for her children and does not marry lest they fail. "

"As for the four women of Hell –fire. The woman who has a shrew tongue and is vulgar towards her husband, who does not guard herself in his absence and injures him with her tongue in his presences. The one who charges her husband burdens greater than he can bear. The one who shows herself to men and goes out doors displaying her beauty. The one who does not concern herself except with food, drink and sleep. Further she is not eager to pray or to obey Allah and her husband, such a woman who in addition to that, leaves her husband's home without his permission is accursed by the people of fire until she repents to Allah.” [Bukhari]

my husband tells me Allah is forgiving and understanding, he is the judge and i should try very hard to control myself, and if i do try hard, then istikfar is needed always so Allah can help me in the is world and in the hereafter. he is supporting alhumdulilah and never tells me that im going to be one of the women who will fill the hell fire up.

MashaAllah. Your husband gave you good advice.

i do feel bad i do this alot, i do hate it. but i cant help it at times. but still i blame myself. and ask for forgiveness. but the fact that i keep doing it, and then ask for forgiveness, will i still be earning Allahs forgiveness?

Signs of acceptance of repentance by Allah azz zawajal are :-

1) Having a hate for the action in the heart and never wanting to commit it again & having remorse for having committed it previously.

2) Not returning to the action that one is seeking forgiveness for, ie Not committing the sin again.

I hope this helped. And Allah knows best..

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

 

[TheAuthenticBase]

The Prophet (pbuh) said,

"There are four women in Paradise and they are: a chaste and an obedient one to Allah and her husband, patient, content, coy, and reproductive who guards her husband's property and herself in his absence and holds her tongue in his presence. A widow who devotes her life for her children and does not marry lest they fail. "

"As for the four women of Hell –fire. The woman who has a shrew tongue and is vulgar towards her husband, who does not guard herself in his absence and injures him with her tongue in his presences. The one who charges her husband burdens greater than he can bear. The one who shows herself to men and goes out doors displaying her beauty. The one who does not concern herself except with food, drink and sleep. Further she is not eager to pray or to obey Allah and her husband, such a woman who in addition to that, leaves her husband's home without his permission is accursed by the people of fire until she repents to Allah.” [Bukhari]

^subhaanAllaah never knew of this hadeeth b4

 

[allah is with me]

salamualaikum.
subhanallah sister..
this made me feel more special..alhumdulillah..Allah has created women ..and placed her in special form..coz women are special..alhumdulillah.. women one nor one day, women should face the pain of this life..jazakallah khair for such a beautiful reminder..i hope all the husband, treat thier wives with love, and all the women, be islamic inshallah..ameeeen

 

[WithAllahsPowers]

Brotherinislam, mashallah what you told me made sense. its beautiful. i feel so confortable now because the description of women who enter the hell, alhumdulilah it so doesnt seem like me.

I still need to try to calm down and hope i can learn more about that. too much screaming and temper at times it can make me out of control. i maintain my athkar everyday and night and always stay in wuduh alhumdulilah. inshallah this will be my goal iin life, learn patience and stop screaming.

thank you all for this wonder thread and posts. thank you for all the hadith they were so helpful and beautiful.

thank you and may allah reward you all.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Brotherinislam, mashallah what you told me made sense. its beautiful. i feel so confortable now because the description of women who enter the hell, alhumdulilah it so doesnt seem like me.

I still need to try to calm down and hope i can learn more about that. too much screaming and temper at times it can make me out of control. i maintain my athkar everyday and night and always stay in wuduh alhumdulilah. inshallah this will be my goal iin life, learn patience and stop screaming.

thank you all for this wonder thread and posts. thank you for all the hadith they were so helpful and beautiful.

thank you and may allah reward you all.

:salam2:

I also learned a lot while finding all the relevant hadeeth and fatwa links before posting them here. So I thank you for bringing up such good questions that benefit us common muslims Alhamdulillah. Jazaki Allahu Khayran.

As for anger, there are some good threads on how to deal with anger related issues. I think most of us need to look it up InshaAllah.

Here are some that I found beneficial and practical :-

Anger Management

Dealing with Anger

Tips to controlling anger

A warning from Anger

Hope it helps InshaAllah.. Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi