Don't Lose Hope

[ditta]

As-salaamu'Alaykum,

I just wanted to post a reminder that we don't lose hope in Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) answering our supplications. I wanted to share some pieces of information that I feel will strengthen our determination and confidence that Allah will answer our supplications.

I posted some of this information in a different post although I felt the need to post a thread about this (as a reminder that simply 'don't lose hope, remain steadfast' also I tried not to copy and paste, rather I feel the information expresses what I'm trying to say).

This is because we are all asking Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) for guidance to His straight path, to keep us steadfast, to have mercy on us from the punishments in the grave, to give us Jannah and protect us from the fire. No doubt we are asking Allah for worldly things (interlinks with the first point) as well, some of us for companionship (i.e. a spouse), children, those asking to guide their children to the straight path, those asking Allah that He guides their family members and them to the straight path, those asking Allah that He blesses them to get their desired exam results, those asking Allah that He blesses them with some wealth or something particular to a person.

Whatever the supplication, Allah hears as per the information lower down. We all need to remember that we fear Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) as much as we can so that our supplication is more likely to be accepted. Also remember even if you feel constrained (because some opposite happened to what you supplicated for), remain steadfast because and Allah knows best it could be a test and it Insha'Allaah it could lead to a good outcome. Beseech Only to Allah.

And your Lord said: "Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation).

(Qur'aan, 40: 60)

Invoke your Lord with humility and in secret. He likes not the aggressors.

(Qur'aan, 7: 55)

And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad ) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor).

(Qur'aan, 2: 186).

Is not He (better than your gods) Who responds to the distressed one, when he calls on Him, and Who removes the evil?

(Qur'aan, 27: 62)

Question

I spent the last ten years, on and off, asking Allah Almighty to provide me with a righteous husband and with righteous children. But some of this never happened, and I know that it is Allah's will and that there is nothing that can ward off his decree. My question is this: I have stopped supplicating since a short time ago, not from despair for an answer to my prayers, but because I began to think that what I was asking for was not in my best interests. I thought this because Allah Almighty did not answer me. I decided to desist from supplicating because Allah Almighty knows best what will benefit me, regardless of my strong and persistent desire to have my prayers realized. What must I do in this situation? Do I continue supplicating, or do I resign myself to the fact that what I am asking for is not in my best interests, and thus stop asking?

Answer

It is mentioned in a Hadith that the worshipper's supplication will be answered, as long as he does not hurry, feeling that the answer is delayed, then lamenting the delay, and then abandoning supplicating altogether. This person says, "I supplicated and I supplicated, but I was not answered." Allah Almighty may delay answering a prayer for a number of reasons. And in one Hadith, it is mentioned that Allah Almighty gives one of three things to the one who invokes Him: He answers his prayer by giving to him what he asks, He saves his reward for the Hereafter, or He repels an evil from him.

So, sister, you should not be hasty; rather, you should continue supplicating, even if this continues for many more years. Also, you should not reject an equal (equal in looks, lineage, wealth, etc.) if he proposes to you, even if he is old or is already married. Perhaps, Allah will give you much good in that.

Ibn Jibreen (may Allah have mercy on him).

(Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 7, Supplication).

Abu Hurayrah (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: The Messenger of Allah :

“The supplication of every one of you will be granted if he does not get impatient and say (for example):

‘I supplicated my Rubb but my prayer has not been granted.”

(Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

The narration of Muslim is:

“The supplication of a slave continues to be granted as long as he does not supplicate for a sinful thing or for something that would cut off the ties of kinship and he does not grow impatient."

It was said:

"O Messenger of Allah What does growing impatient mean?"

He said, "It is one's saying:

I supplicated again and again but I do not think that my prayer will be answered.'

Then he becomes frustrated (in such circumstances) and gives up supplication altogether."

Commentary: We learn from this Hadith that one should continue beseeching Allah without ever thinking that in spite of praying for a long time, his prayer has not been granted. One should never allow frustration to overcome in his mind. If a person’s supplication is not granted for a long time, there would be certainly some good for him in that delay the reason of which is known to Allah Alone. It is, therefore, essential that he should never cease to pray whether his prayer is granted or not. Persistence in prayer is certainly beneficial to him.

(Riyaad-us-Saaliheen, The Book of Supplications).

We know that Allah (The Exalted), bears the attribute of knowledge, and that He has called Himself by a number of Names which reflect this attribute, such as Al-‘Aleem (All-Knowing):

Verily, He only He, is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.

(Qur’aan 26: 220)

Another of these Names is Al-Khabeer (the All-Aware), which means that He knows what will be before it happens; Al-Hakeem (the Wise), which means that He knows the details of things; Ash-Shaheed (the Witness), which that He knows what is unseen and what is seen, i.e. that nothing is unknown to Him; Al-Haafiz (the Protector), meaning that He does not forget what He knows; Al-Muhsiy (the Reckoner), which means that the fact that He knows so much does not distract Him from knowing the tiniest of details, such as the light of the day and how strong the wind is, and when the leaves fall. He knows the numbers and the movements of each leaf.


Allah (The Exalted), hears and sees the righteous, and reward them:

Who sees you (O’ Muhammad ) when you stand up (along at night for Tahajjud prayers). And your movements among those who fall prostrate (to Allah in the five compulsory congregational prayers). Verily, He, only He, is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.

(Qur’aan 26: 218-220)

‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, explaining the vastness of Allah’s hearing:

“Praise be to Allah Whose hearing encompasses all sounds.”

(Bukhari, 13/372. Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari (13/373): Ahmad, Nasaai and Ibn Majah narrated this, with the same wording.)

When the woman who disputed (Al-Mujaadilah – Khawlah bint Tha’labah) came to speak to the Prophet in a corner of his house, I could not hear her, but Allah revealed the words:

Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her (Khawlah bint Tha’labah) that disputes with you (O’ Muhammad) concerning her husband *Aus ibn As-Saamit), and complains to Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allah is All-Hearer, All-Seer.

(Qur’aan 58: 1)

(This conversations is narrated by Ahmad, Nasaai and Ibn Majah, as stated by Al-Haafiz in Fath al-Baari, 13/374)

Bukhari narrated that Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari (may Allah be pleased with him) said: We were with the Prophet on a journey, and whenever we climbed up we would shout Allahu Akbar (Allah is All-Great). He said:

“Take it easy! You are not calling the One Who is deaf or absent, you are calling the One Who is All-Hearing, All-Seeing and Who is near.”

(Bukhari, 13/372, hadith no. 7386)

Also ask Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) by His Beautiful Names when supplicating:

Question

Is this form of supplication correct: "O Allah, I ask by your Beautiful Names and Attributes, to..."

Answer

It is from the Sunnah to petition Allah by His Beautiful Names and His Exalted Attributes, by one's good deeds, or by one's love for the righteous. This is a means of having one's prayers answered, regardless whether one does this before or after his supplication. But it is not permitted to petition Allah Almighty by mentioning people, like saying, "I ask you by so and so," because this leads to associating partners with Allah Almighty.

Ibn Jibreen (may Allah have mercy on him)

So ask Allah by His Beautiful Names such as Ar-Rabb - The Lord, Sustainer, Cherisher, Ar-Rahmaan - The Most Beneficient, Ar-Raheem - The Most Merciful, Al-'Azeez - The All-Mighty, Al-Hayy - The Ever-Living, Al-Qayyoom - The Self-Sufficient, the One Who sustains and protects all, Al-Wahhaab - The Bestower, Dhul-Jalaali wa'l Ikraam - Owner of Majesty and Honour. (http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?p=403961#post403961).

May Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) accept our supplications, help us to remain strong in difficult times and worship Him with fear during the easy times. Ameen.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Excellent.

Now..please permit me to extend your thoughts. Insha'Allah, I will find the words that convey the clearest intentions.

Often when we supplicate we ask for what we believe is the best for us. We forget we can not see ourselves and our unique conditions.

How do we overcome this. How do we supplicate in a manner that is pleasing to Allah..a manner that improves our deen..a manner that brings us closer to Him and not the desires of our little hearts.

 

[rijji]

help......

Assalamoalykum brothers and sisters,
I recently went through a sad time. i was supplicating repeatedly for something important.............till the last moment with full faith and belief that Allah SWT will answer my prayers and i believed that with his KUDRAT he will make things happen.Even my friends told me to loose hope and stop thinking that my work will be accomplished still..... i kept asking in tahajjud& salatul hajat.
My prayers were not answered.........even my parents were praying for the same thing.Their prayers were also not answered.
THE PROBLEM IS I HAVE LOST HOPE NOW and i feel i am not offering my namaz the way i used to do it before.
Previously I USED TO LOVE OFFREING PRAYERS AND I USED TO BE HAPPY AFTER I HAD PRAYED.......BUT now i pray only because it is farz. I have lost the charm in my prayers.
I dont know what to do?

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

First, welcome to TTI.

What I was trying to ask Brother Ditta and others is how do we help Believers understand that at times we get so focused on what we want we box ourselves in. What are the hadeeths and verses of the Noble Quran that will assist in getting out of the box and back to the path of earnest prayer.

All I know is when we supplicate we have to Fear and Love Allah. Once we have that deeply embedded in our hearts everything else flows.

I went through a period recently where I was so scared of poverty I was stiff with stress and during salat it hit me. I supplicated for Allah to put fear of Him in my heart and replace that with the fear of poverty. My circumstances improved within 24 hours.

He tells us to put our faith and trust in Him. It is that simple. Hold on to the rope of Allah..the Quran.

 

[Precious Star]

Assalaam walaikum,

Often when we supplicate we ask for what we believe is the best for us. We forget we can not see ourselves and our unique conditions.

How do we overcome this. How do we supplicate in a manner that is pleasing to Allah..a manner that improves our deen..a manner that brings us closer to Him and not the desires of our little hearts.

But the corrollary of what you are saying, Aapa, is that because we do not know what is best for us, we shouldn't ask for what we want, and instead leave everything to Allah.

But isn't the sky the limit when asking God?

How do we define what constitues a worldly desire of our heart?

Do we just forget everything specific, and simply ask Allah to bring us closer to him? Why can't we ask for emotional fulfillment, financial security, health, love, companionship, children, etc, even if we don't know for certain that such is good for us?

 

[Precious Star]

So, sister, you should not be hasty; rather, you should continue supplicating, even if this continues for many more years. .[/COLOR]
He said, "It is one's saying:
I supplicated again and again but I do not think that my prayer will be answered.'

Then he becomes frustrated (in such circumstances) and gives up supplication altogether."

Commentary: We learn from this Hadith that one should continue beseeching Allah without ever thinking that in spite of praying for a long time, his prayer has not been granted. One should never allow frustration to overcome in his mind. If a person’s supplication is not granted for a long time, there would be certainly some good for him in that delay the reason of which is known to Allah Alone. It is, therefore, essential that he should never cease to pray whether his prayer is granted or not. Persistence in prayer is certainly beneficial to him.

(Riyaad-us-Saaliheen, The Book of Supplications)./QUOTE]

Thank you for posting this thread, brother Ditta.

But in regards to the quotes above, Allah SWT will at times deny us. For example, there are many women who have tried to have children, but were unable to do so. While miracles are possible, Allah has created us so that our childbearing years end in our 40s. At some point after that, we can assume that Allah has given us His answer, which is no.

Similarly, if someone is ill, and despite constant prayers they reach a terminal stage..at some point it becomes more beneficial for us to focus our prayers on easing that person's suffering and praying for his easy passage to paradise, don't you agree?

I often give this example to some of my friends. If you want to go to medical school, but year after year you are rejected entry, then at some point isn't it natural to assume that Allah has denied this and you should therefore focus your efforts on another career path?

My point, brother Ditta, is that sometimes Allah does answer our prayers and the answer is no. By not acknowledging that "no", how are we being impatient or exhibiting frustration?

I think, in part, that the above hadiths shouldn't be interpreted within the limits of time and space as we know it. In other words, yes, Allah will answer the yearnings in our heart, but the patience comes in accepting the possibility that that answer will not arrive until the next life. In this life, our destiny may be a constant test of trials, sadness and disappointments.

I am not trying to extinguish hope for anyone reading this thread. But sometimes having false hope can be heartbreaking.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,


Supplication is the act of total submission. Allah loves us when we supplicate to Him. We are therefore putting into practice our prayer. Coincidentally, the physical self is either on hands and knees or in total prostration.

Thus, it is by definition us relinquishing ourselves to Him. We hand over to Him our needs. We have to, in addition, strive to work towards that which we wish. How many acts of charity do we perform as we supplicate. And there is always the question of the greater good. How will my supplication assist others.

The medical school example: A persons career is not a person's life. A career is a way of making a living for a while. It is not set in concrete. In the course of a life a person may be many things. Moses was set to be a pharaoh; he moved to a better life. People make the mistake of equating career with living.

So you were rejected from medical school. That is not the end of the world. You are still alive. You have millions of options open. And Allah tells us He will replace it with something better. The path He opens to you may well advance you on the spiritual path.

Our vision changes as we move closer to Him. There is nothing wrong in asking for the sky. It is better to ask to remove the veils that keep us in the dark.

Yes, He tests us. And we are told to read the verses from Sura Baqara prior to going to bed. We can ask to be tested just so much. But, the end result is so good.

He is the Just. He responds to us. And whatever transpires is for our own good.

I pray I have not written anything wrong. May Allah forgive me if I have.

 

[ditta]

Wa-alaykum-us-Salaam wa'Rahmatullaah,

Firstly sister Aapa, the Prophet is the best example we have. Therefore looking at the Hadiths we can see what the Prophet supplicated and similarly supplicate the same ourselves (i.e. what is ultimately in our best interest).

I simply selected a few hadiths from Riyaad-us-Saaliheen which I thought addressed this.

`Abdullah bin Mas`ud (May radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: The Prophet used to supplicate:

"Allahumma inni as'alukal-huda, wat-tuqa, wal-`afafa, wal-ghina

(O Allah! I beseech You for guidance, piety, chastity and contentment).''

[Muslim].

Commentary: "Guidance'' means guidance towards virtue which one needs at every step. The ability to do good and steadfastness on the Right Path is also covered by the term guidance. To comply with the Orders of Allah and to prevent oneself from what He has forbidden is Taqwa (fear of Allah), the importance of which needs no elaboration. `Affaf is prevention from sins. It also means evasion from seeking help from others. Ghina means riches which makes one independent of others so much so that all one's hopes are centered on Allah Alone. The prayer quoted in this Hadith is very comprehensive indeed.

Tariq bin Ashyam (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Whenever a man entered the fold of Islam, the Prophet would show him how to perform Salat and then direct him to supplicate:

"Allahumm-aghfir li, warhamni, wa-hdini, wa `afini, warzuqni

(O Allah! Forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, guard me against harm and provide me with sustenance and salvation).'''

[Muslim].

In another narration Tariq said: A man came to the Prophet and said to him: "O Messenger of Allah! What shall I say if I want to pray to my Rubb?''

He said, "Say:

`Allahumma-ghfir li, warhamni, wa `afini, warzuqni

(O Allah! Forgive me, have mercy on me, protect me and provide me with sustenance).' Surely, this supplication is better for you in this life and in the Hereafter.''

`Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`As (radhiyAllaahu anhuma) reported: The Messenger of Allah supplicated:

"Allahumma musarrifal-qulubi, sarrif qulubana `ala ta`atika

(O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience).''

[Muslim].

Commentary: This is a very important prayer because through it one seeks steadfastness in virtue. Everybody's heart is always open to troubles, turmoil and ordeals and he is drifting from one situation to the other. If he is not supported by Allah, he can deviate from the Right Path at any moment. For this reason, he has been required to pray to Allah to save his heart from turning towards evils and keep it towards Allah, because it is He Alone Who is Capable of controlling hearts.

Abu Hurairah (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: The Messenger of Allah used to say:

"Allahumm-aslih li diniyalladhi huwa `ismatu amri, wa aslih li dunyaya-llati fiha ma`ashi, wa aslih li akhirati-llati fiha ma`adi, waj`alil-hayata ziyadatan li fi kulli khair, waj`alil-mauta rahatan li min kulli sharrin

(O Allah, make my religion easy for me by virtue of which my affairs are protected, set right for me my world where my life exists, make good for me my Hereafter which is my resort to which I have to return, and make my life prone to perform all types of good, and make death a comfort for me from every evil).''

[Muslim].

Commentary: This is a very comprehensive prayer which simply means: "O Allah! Help me spend all my life in complete devotion to You, doing what You like and avoiding what You dislike.''

Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: I requested the Messenger of Allah to teach me a supplication which I could recite in my Salat (prayer). Thereupon he said, "Recite:

`Allahumma inni zalamtu nafsi zulman kathiran, wa la yaghfirudh-dhunuba illa Anta, faghfir li maghfiratan min `indika, warhamni, innaka Antal-Ghafur-ur-Rahim

(O Allah! I have considerably wronged myself. There is none to forgive the sins but You. So grant me pardon and have mercy on me. You are the Most Forgiving, the Most Compassionate).'''

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: It is desirable to recite this prayer in Salat after Tashahhud and before Taslim. One can also recite it at all other times also.

`Abdullah bin `Umar (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: The Messenger of Allah used to supplicate thus:

"Allahumma inni a`udhu bika min zawali ni`matika, wa tahawwuli `afiyatika, wa fuja'ati niqmatika, wa jami`i sakhatika

(O Allah! I seek refuge in You against the declining of Your Favours, passing of safety, the suddenness of Your punishment and all that which displeases You).''

[Muslim].

Commentary: This is also a very comprehensive prayer. Allah has blessed man with innumerable gifts. One becomes conscious of them when one is deprived of any of them, hence it is said that the value of a blessing is realized at its loss. For eyes, ears, tongue, health, property, children and such countless blessings, we owe gratitude to Allah. In the prayer cited in this Hadith, one entreats Allah not to deprive of any blessing given to him. `Afiyah means safe from disease, grief and troubles. "Passing of the safety (`Afiyah)'' signifies the change from a state of good health to a state of illness and weakness or that one is overtaken by troubles and afflictions.

Abu Musa (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: The Prophet used to supplicate:

"Allahumm-aghfir li khati'ati, wajahli, wa israfi fi amri, wa ma Anta a`lamu bihi minni. Allahumm-aghfir li jiddi wa hazli, wa khata'i wa `amdi, wa kullu dhalika `indi. Allahumm-aghfir li ma qaddamtu wa ma akhkhartu, wa ma asrartu, wa ma a`lantu, wa ma Anta a`lamu bihi minni. Antal-Muqaddimu, wa Antal-Mu'akhkhiru; wa Anta `ala kulli shai'in Qadir

(O Allah! Forgive my errors, ignorance and immoderation in my affairs. You are better aware of my faults than myself. O Allah! Forgive my faults which I committed in seriousness or in fun deliberately or inadvertently. O Allah! Grant me pardon for those sins which I committed in the past and I may commit in future, which I committed in privacy or in public and all those sins of which You are better aware than me. You Alone can send whomever You will to Jannah, and You Alone can send whomever You will to Hell-fire and You are Omnipotent).''

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: The Prophet was sinless but still he prayed earnestly to Allah for the forgiveness of his shortcomings. In fact, he did so to educate his followers. This prayer is an expression of one's utter humbleness and sincere repentance of sins.

Shakal bin Humaid (radhiyAllaahu anh) reported: I asked: "O Messenger of Allah, teach me a prayer.'' He said, "Say:

Allahumma inni a`udhu bika min sharri sam`i, wa min sharri basari, wa min sharri lisani, wa min sharri qalbi, wa min sharri maniyyi

(O Allah! I seek refuge in You from the evils of my hearing, the evils of my seeing, the evils of my tongue; the evils of my heart and the evils of passions).''

[Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary : The evil mischief of ears lies in lending them to lies, calumnies, backbiting and other forbidden things (music etc.), or closing the ears to the truth. The mischief of eyes lies in finding faults with people, looking at what is forbidden to look at, and ignoring the Signs of Allah scattered everywhere in the universe. The mischief of the heart lies in occupying one's heart with the love of anyone else other than Allah. "Mani'' (semen) is that sticky fluid which comes out of the male organ after sexual gratification. Here it means the sexual organs. The mischief of these lie in using them in a sinful act. One is advised to safeguard one's ears, eyes, heart, sexual organs, and all the organs of one's body against their improper use in order to gain the Pleasure of Allah. One will be accountable for all these things on the Day of Judgement.

Therefore it is clear as the Prophet told us that we should ask Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) as stated (i.e., for guidance, to remain steadfast (not fall into sin), to grant us Jannah and save us from the Fire. There were other hadiths where the Prophet asked for protection against certain diseases (i.e. good health).

 

[ditta]

Secondly sister Precious Star and sister rijji, look at this hadith (the rest of the information is also taken from Du'a Weapon of the Believer, I selected the portions because I felt they related to what you were saying. They are snippets of information.):

(The related point that I can add is that we need to make sure for our supplications to be answered is that we are obeying Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) (i.e., reading our Salaah at its fixed times, giving the obligatory and voluntary charity when we can, demonstrating good manners and gentleness to others, fearing Allah in secret (by becoming more humble). I don't say that you don't do this, I am speaking generally.

Also again (I speak generally) let's make sure that we are not committing haraam (knowingly or unknowingly), i.e. our income could be from a haraam source or doing something that means we are disobeying Allah could stop our supplication from being accepted.

Also, what I mean by asking Allah for worldly things is that often we have the thought in the back of our mind that I hope Allah blesses me with good results so that I can get a good job to support myself (and family) and Insha'Allaah with that wealth I can go on Hajj, help the poor (often South Asian families, their parents back home will be from a village/district and they will send their obligatory or voluntary charity there), asking for a good spouse so as to fulfil one's desire lawfully (i.e. pleasing Allah so that one is not disobeying Him by going to the unlawful). Subhaan'Allaah, the worldly thing has an attachment to obeying Allah. (I don't say that you or others don't have this intention or anything like that, rather I am just pointing it out).

Subhaan'Allaah, I heard that a Muslim brother (who was non-Muslim before) died of cancer recently I think (to Allah we belong and to Him we shall return). I don't know this brother at all but may Allah make it easy for him in the grave. Before he became Muslim he used to be a thief and he was sentenced to prison. From my knowledge there are good Muslim counsellors that help those in jail (where I am located). They preached to the brother and he became Muslim (he described how before his life meant nothing but now he has found his purpose/peace). The brother shortly after was diagnosed with cancer (stomach I think) and as I heard the brother was told by the doctor he had 48 hours to live. He lived for 2 months. His condition became so bad (as I heard) that it was like being malnourished. A lot of the brothers he knew were upset by the news and without doubt would have supplicated for the brother. A brother that knew the one with cancer spoke about to the others about the closeness of death and as I heard he actually passed away before the one who had stomach cancer. To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.

My brother said to me, it reminds us of our dad (he was ill for a considerable length of time before he passed away). I ask Allah that He has mercy on my father, the two brothers and our brothers and sisters that have passed away and forgives them for the illnesses they endured. Ameen.

The point is, never lose hope because our Du'a will be answered (refer below).

Jabir ibn 'Abdillah stated that the Prophet said:

"There is no person who asks Allah for anything except that Allah gives it to him, or keeps away from him a similar evil, as long as he does not ask for something evil or for breaking the ties of kinship".

At this, a person said to the Prophet :

"In that case, we will ask for plenty!"

The Prophet responded:

"Allah (is even) more plentiful!"

(At-Tirmidhi)

In this hadith, there is clear proof of the fact that Allah has taken upon Himself a promise to respond to the du`a of every person who asks Him, with the condition that the person who is asking Allah fulfils the conditions of du'a. In this case, Allah will either give him what he asks for, or avert from him an evil of an equivalent nature to the good that he was asking for, as long as he does not ask for an evil.

So what excuse does a person have in not making du'a to Allah! No matter what the outcome of his du' a is, it will only be for his benefit.

Ibn Hajr stated:

"Every single person that makes du' a will be responded to, but the actual responses are different. Sometimes, the exact matter that was prayed for is given, and sometimes, something equivalent to it is given".

(Fath al-Bari)


Ibn al-Qayyim, the 'doctor of the heart', writes:

It is possible that a person has a need for something... so he earnestly prays and requests Allah for it, until the sweetness of asking and imploring Allah is opened for him. So he enjoys being humbled before Him, and trying to draw closer to Him, using His Names and Attributes, and his heart becomes void of everything besides Him, and he cuts off any relationship or hope for good from anyone else — all of which would never have occurred had it not been for his need.... So it is possible that what good has come about because of this state of his is even greater, and more pleasing to him, than the actual need (that was the cause of such a state), to such an extent that he wishes to continue in this state, and prefers it over the actual fulfilment of his need. So his happiness due to this state is greater than the happiness he would achieve had his need actually been fulfilled. Some of those that have recognized (the signs of Allah) have stated: "Sometimes, I have a certain need (that I wish to ask) Allah, so I ask Him earnestly. Then, I find that the door of dialogue opens up for me, and I recognise Allah more (i.e. become more aware of Him), and feel humbled before Him, due to which I prefer that the answer to my prayer be delayed, so that this state may continues!

(Madarij al-Salikin, 2/229)

It is possible then, that a believer so enjoys this new relationship that he actually fears the response of his du'a, and wishes that Allah prolong it so that he can enjoy his servitude to Allah!


(under a different heading)
Yet another proof of this is the verse,

"And man invokes (Allah) for evil as he invokes (Allah) for good, yet man is ever hasty!""

Ibn al-Qayyim mentions:

"And of the diseases that afflict du'a and prevent its response is that a person is hasty in expecting a response, and the response is delayed, so he gives up hope, and leaves du' a. His example is like that of a person who planted a seed, or a seedling, then guarded it, and took care of it, and watered it, but when it delayed in (giving its fruit) and reaching perfection, he left it and did not take care for it anymore!"

(Al-Jawab al-Kafi, p. 10).

This does not mean, however, that a person should not pray that his du'a be answered quickly, for it has been authentically narrated that the Prophet prayed for rain and said:

"...quickly, and not delayed..."

(Irwa al-Ghalil, 2/145)

The hastiness that is prohibited is that a person leaves du'a, thinking that he will not be responded to. There is no harm in asking Allah to respond to the du'a quickly, so understand this difference!

Abu Hurayrah narrates that the Prophet said,

"Allah, all Glory and Praise be to Him, has said, “Whatever My servant assumes of Me, that is how I will treat him, and I am with him when he remembers Me'"

(Muslim).

So if a person only expects good from Allah, and is certain that Allah will not destroy his hopes and desires, then Allah will fulfil his expectations. On the other hand, if he is not certain of the response of Allah, and he feels that he will not be responded to, then he will be treated the way that he feels. AI-Shawkani commented on this hadith as follows:

In this hadith, Allah encourages His servants to expect the best from Him, since He will treat them according to their expectations. So whoever expects good from Him will be showered with His Good, and will be shown His Beautiful Generosity... But he who is not like that will not be treated in this manner. And this is the meaning of the fact that He is with him when he remembers Him. So it is obligatory on the slave to always assume the best of Allah. And he should help himself to achieve this state by always recalling the texts (of the Qur'an and Sunnah) that show the great Mercy of Allah.

This is why the true Muslim always expects the best from Allah. The Prophet states:

"Let not any of you die except that he assumes the best from Allah".

(Muslim).

Since a person does not know when he will die, the implication of the hadith is that a Muslim must always have good thoughts and assume the best about his Creator, such that, when death does overtake him, he is still intent upon this feeling.

Ibn al-Qayyim said,

Whoever reflects upon this issue deeply will realise that having the best expectations from Allah is equivalent to having good deeds, and doing good with one's soul. For only when a person expects the best from Allah will he perform good deeds, since he will expect that Allah will reward him for his deeds and accept them. Therefore, the reason that he performed these good deeds was because of his good expectations of Allah; so the more a person betters his expectations from Allah, the more good deeds he does!"

(Al-Jawab al-Kafi, p. 23).

In other words, having the best expectations necessitates doing good deeds. Therefore, the one who continues to sin, and does not do any good deeds, does not truly have the best expectation of Allah. Rather, such a person has a shallow understanding of this concept, and follows his desires!


Not Expecting a Response

Although this topic has been discussed in the etiquette of du'a, because of its importance it is reiterated here. Too many people expect that Allah will not respond to their du' a, and it is possible that the only reason that their du'a is not responded to is because of this presumption of theirs!

It is part of one's iman to expect the best from Allah, and to be sure that Allah will respond to your du'a, as He is the Ever-Merciful, All-Powerful.
A Muslim should make du`a in all situations and circumstances. Even if a situation seems hopeless, this is not an excuse to give up du'a. If a person has been told, for example, that one of his relative's has a terminal disease, and will only live for a short period of time, then let him not despair, and think that there is nothing that he can do. Rather, this is all the more reason to turn to Allah, full of hope and sincerity, and pray that Allah cure this relative of the disease. The One that decreed the situation in the first place is the only One that can change that decree, so it is essential to turn to Him.

Ponder over this beautiful statement from Sufyan ibn 'Uyaynah, when he said,

"Let none of you think that his du`a will not be answered because of (the sins) that he knows of himself. Indeed, Allah responded to the du'a of the worst of the creation, Iblis, may Allah curse him, when he said:

He (Iblis) said,

'O My Lord! Give me respite until the Day of Judgement!' He replied, 'Then you are of those who have been reprieved”.

(Qur’aan, al-Hijr, 36-37 and Abu Zayd, p. 29).

So if even Iblis' du'a can be accepted, then surely the du'a of a sinner has more right than his!

(refers to a different following point, not the above)
Following up from the last point, it is possible that Allah knows that a certain matter, although apparently might appear to bring good, in reality will lead to evil consequences. So, a person might desire to have money, and in his heart he feels that he will spend this money for the sake of Allah, and yet Allah knows that if this person were to be given money, he would spend it in haram ways, and that it would ruin his iman. So he would become like the one that is mentioned in the Qur'an:

And of them are some who made a promise with Allah (saying): if He bestowed on us out of His Blessings, then we will of a surety give charity, and we will surely become amongst the righteous! Then, when He gave them of His Blessings, they became miserly (in spending for the sake of Allah), and turned away, averse (out of arrogance). So because of this He punished them by putting hypocrisy in their hearts, until the Day when they shall meet Him, because they broke which they promised Allah, and because they used to lie (to Allah).

(Qur’aan, 09: 75-77)

So beware, O Muslim, of getting angry, or complaining, against Allah's Decree, for it is possible that the matter that you so desire might be the very cause of your destruction!

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn al-Qayyim, the master of spiritual diseases and their cures, writes:

The Divine Decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired), and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial, and an affliction that has befallen him is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease! Unfortunately, due to the ignorance of the worshipper, and his transgressions, he does not consider anything to be a gift or a blessing or a cure unless he can enjoy it immediately, and it is in accordance with his nature. If he were only given a little bit of understanding, then he would have counted being withheld from as a blessing, and the sickness as a mercy, and he would relish the trouble that befalls him more than he relishes his case, and he would enjoy poverty more than he enjoys richness, and he would be more thankful when he is blessed with little than he is when he is blessed with a lot.

(Madarij al-Salikin, 2/215/216).

Note that a believer does not ask for problems and trials, but when they occur, the true believer relishes them more than he would an apparent blessing, because he realises and expects the great reward that he will obtain through his patience and perseverance.


Ibn al-Jawzi wrote:

I was once in a situation of distress, so I regularly made du’a to Allah to relieve me from my distress, and to bless me with relief and freedom. Yet, the response seemed to be postponed, so my soul started getting agitated and restless.

I told it 'Woe to thee! Consider your situation: are you one who is a maid-servant or are you a queen (the soul is feminine in the Arabic language, hence the feminine gender). Are you one who is controlled (by Allah), or are you the controller? Do you not know that this world is the place of trials and tests? And if you ask for something and it is not responded to, and you are impatient at this, then where is the test? After all, are not trials and tests merely the opposite of our own goals and desires? If only you were to understand this responsibility, then that which is difficult will appear easy for you, and the unbearable will become light.'

After it pondered over this, it quietened down a bit.

I then told it, 'I also have a second answer, and that is that you are asking (Allah) your wishes and desires, but neglecting to ask yourself what it is obligated to do. This is the essence of ignorance, for it is appropriate for you to do the opposite, since you are a servant, and the intelligent servant strives to fulfil the rights of his master, knowing that it is not obligatory for the master to grant any desire.'

After I told it this, it achieved more peace.

I then told it, 'I have yet a third response, and that is that you have delayed the response, as you have blocked its path with your sins. So if only you were to open the path, the response would be hastened. Do you not know that the cause of peace is taqwa? Have you not heard the statement of Allah:

And whoever fears Allah, He will provide for him an escape. And he provides for him from sources that he never could imagine?

(Qur’aan, Soorah ai-Taiaq. 2-3)

Have you not understood that the opposite also applies, (that if you are immersed in your sins, your matter will be made difficult). Woe to the intoxication of thoughtlessness that is stronger than all other intoxicants, and prevents the water that is desired from reaching the garden of one's goals!

(This beautifully eloquent phrase requires some explanation. Baiscally, Ibn al-Jawzi is comparing one’s du’a to the fruits of a garden, and the response of that du’a to the water that is needed for those fruits to grow. So the fruits (the du’a) will only ripen if water is given to the garden. He then compares one’s own heedlessness (in sins) to being intoxicated, and this intoxication prevents the person from realising that he is, with his own hands, preventing the water from reaching the garden, thus stating that sins lead to one’s du’a not being answered)

So my soul realised the truth, and became content.

I then said, 'I have yet a fourth response, and that is that you are asking for something for which you do not know the consequences of. In fact, it might be harmful for you. Your example is that of a child, stricken with fever, and asking for sweets. The one in charge of you is more aware of your betterment than you are. Has not Allah said,

And it is possible that you hate something and it is for your good?

(Qur’aan, 02: 216)

After the truth became clear to my soul, it settled in its contentment.
I then said to it, "I have a final fifth response, and that is that this wish of yours will decrease your reward (with Allah), and lower your status. Therefore, the prevention of the response is actually the increasement of your good. If you were only to ask what benefits your Hereafter, it would be better for you.

Understand, therefore, all that I have told you.'

It then replied, 'I have been grazing in the gardens of your response, and the understanding (that you have given me) has caused me to be ecstatic with joy!'

So see, dear reader, how this great scholar, Ibn al-Jawzi, was able to transform the pain and anguish that his soul was feeling, into joy and ecstasy, only because of his knowledge and iman!

 

[rijji]

Jazakallahu khairan,

Thankyou so much..... everyone for clearing my mind of wrong thoughts. Indeed i was wrong and i was more inclined towards worldly gain forgetting Allah SWT knows the best.Kindly pray that allah forgives of my mistakes.
Allah HAFIZ.

 

[Precious Star]

Brother Ditta: That was a lovely post (the 2nd one, I mean). I am trying to put it in the context of "real life". That is where I am failing. I believe all the quotes above refer to a positive outcome in the Hereafter. What about this life?

I find it hard to believe that Allah does not want to grant us happiness in this life, too. I am having difficulty swallowing that. The hadith and stories you have recounted make sense if what we are asking for is a car, a diamond necklace, a sunny weekend, or a particular boss. But when we ask for soemthing that is more existential than those things, and we don't get it despite our ardent prayers, then how can we simply react with contentment? Allah is the One who created us with such a complex set of emotions - imagine, the joy at seeing a child for the first time, the inner warmth we feel when someone gives us a hug, the laughter we engage in at weddings/babyshowers/graduations, etc -- those are life events that elicit the best of emotions, emotions which were given to us by God. He created us differently than he created animals, who are content if they are fed and safe.

So when we experience existential disappointments, how can we simply bounce back?

I believe dua will give us a positive Hereafter. However, in terms of the present life (the only life we know at the moment), I'm at a loss.

It struck me today, that yes, I have my imaan. But when all else fails, do I just sit at home with my iman and expect that to make me happy? The way Allah has structured this life, is that iman goes hand in hand with living life -- the superficial aspects and the meaningful aspects. Why can't i have iman AND a family of my own? Why can't i have iman AND children? Why can't I have iman AND people who love and take care of me? Why must it be one or the other, why can't it be both?

In other words, we can have our faith in Allah, ,and live by Allah's command, while still engaging in the joyous aspects of this life.

However, I am always led to believe that that is not the case.

I am also baffled that despite being told that Allah will answer our dua if we are obedient, I don't see a pattern amongst those who are blessed. In other words, I see just as many happily married women with children who are God-fearing as those who lead secular lives. Similarly, i see just as many trajedies amongst those who do not lead God-fearing lives as I do amongst those who do. There's no pattern.

I know this all sounds like I am losing iman and hope. Actually, I have lost hope, and I can say that because I am looking back at the last decade and all the hoping and praying that I did, while trying to stay on the right path, and where did it get me? Heartbroken and hopeless. Absolutely NOTHING changed, NOTHING, and all those years I had this naive belief that "good things happen to good people".

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Do not contextualize faith. It is not a matter of an existential experience. It is the real thing.
Faith and the practice of the faith is 24/7 in the here and the now. It is not a comparative state to the duyna.
It is yesterday, today, and forever.
We are on the path of unification with our Creator. And every experience is a blessing for our soul.

 

[Precious Star]

Assalaam walaikum,

Do not contextualize faith. It is not a matter of an existential experience. It is the real thing.
Faith and the practice of the faith is 24/7 in the here and the now. It is not a comparative state to the duyna.
It is yesterday, today, and forever.
We are on the path of unification with our Creator. And every experience is a blessing for our soul.

? there are hopes and aspirations that are superficial, and there are hopes and dreams that are existential. That is the distinction I was trying to make. When the existential hopes crash, how do we simply say "oh well we have iman." My point was that this idea that if you keep praying it will come true in some form or another is more applicable to the superficial hopes and dreams; the existential disappointments will keep eating away at us.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Let's back up.

When the dream crashes we say Alhumdullila, that was only a dream. We say now the path is clear. A dream is just that a dream. It is an illusion. When it shatters we get up and keep moving. This is where are iman comes into the picture. That is being alive. Your vision becomes clearer. You become more focused. You have to let go of the dream and enter the realm of the real.

Nothing eats away at you unless you let it. You have control over that. That is why we try to follow the path to the best of our abilities. The more we actively engage in a path made by the Prophet, the easier our lives become. We are constantly reminded to strive. We strive towards pleasing Allah; we know we will meet Him, Insha'Allah.

What is so beautiful about disappointments is simply the blessings they give us. We gain understanding of how we really didn't need this or that in the first place. Disappointments give us compassion.

And dua gives us the real. We supplicate to the Owner of Reality..and He never disappoints. Our hearts disappoint..so hand your heart to its rightful owner.

Is this making any sense?

 

[rijji]

Realy it makes sense.
i am really happy that i joined TTI.
May ALLAH SWT guide all of us to the right path.
Allah Hafiz.

 

[Precious Star]

Is this making any sense?

Only in a purely metaphorical sense.

Allah SWT has created us so that we need certain things. We don't need the diamond necklace or the granite countertops or even medical school. But we need family, we need love, we need to feel that we are cared for, we need to know there are loved ones who will nurture us if we are on the ground.

To say that if we don't have them, we can breathe a sigh of relief because their absence means we are blessed...I do have a hard time following that. (and in saying this, I'm not discounting the fact that we can nonetheless be blessed in other ways - we might have financial security but lack other things, for example). I have a womb; I'd like children, but becaue I don't have any that means that I don't need them and I am truly blessed? I gave someone up for the sake of Islam, and I still have Islam - but I never lost that, before or after - but did I get someone better to replace the person I lost? No, I received hurt, aloneness, and isolation from my family (who never did anything to support my quest anyway). I don't have children, but do I have something better in replacement? No, but instead I am bombarded by all sides with birthday parties, baby showers, crying infants at Starbucks, etc. I spent the better part of my life taking care of my brothers children - now that they are grown where are they?

No, disappointments mean that we keep making prayers, and those prayers are answered in the Hereafter. Not here.

Yes, we can let go and accept and they will no longer eat at us. But that only means that they no longer eat at us.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

They are only disappointments if that is the label you place on that experience. It is better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.

You gave up that false illusion of loving someone for the Love and Fear of Allah. You did not lose anything at all. The illusion dissipated. You gained.

You may be saddened by what you wanted to transpire, but that is not the reality. It was the best thing in the world that happened to you.

What if he had embraced Islam and later decided it was not for him; each day would become more difficult. You were saved from a lot of misery. Compound that misery if you had children.

You were lucky.

While we have life at our fingertips we try to embrace it. Not everything is in the hereafter.

I am poor at using words, I see. Faith is not an either/or. Faith is lucid. You are not being punished.

Am I making sense?

 

[ditta]

As-salaamu'Alaykum,

Sister, I hope the ruling below will help (I feel the answer contains portions that relate, Insha'Allaah):

EDIT: I posted this answer because I was unsure what I could say.

(http://islamqa.com/en/ref/103099)

Question

​

I would like to ask you a question and I hope that you will take the time to answer me. I am an ordinary Muslim; I do not have great faith or weak faith. I do the obligatory duties with some shortcomings – and I hope that Allaah will forgive me – and I do some of the Sunnahs. I believe in the divine will and decree, both good and bad.

About seven years ago I suffered great distress because of a calamity – which I will not trouble you with – but I will tell you honestly that initially I panicked, and I was filled with despair, but after approximately one year Allaah guided me, and good people taught me that there was something good in it, by Allaah’s leave. They told me that the calamity was either because of a sin that I had committed or it was a test from Allaah, and they advised me to call upon Allaah (du’aa’) and ask for forgiveness, and to ask of Allaah from his bounty, and to seek to draw closer to Him by means of His beautiful names and sublime attributes, and to do a lot of good deeds, and that by Allaah’s leave my request would never be rejected, and that Allaah would answer my prayers. I did all of that, although I do not say that I did it perfectly, but I did the best I could. I said a lot of du’aa’ and did a lot of good deeds, and I repented to Allaah sincerely from all my sins, and I asked Allaah to relieve my distress and take away my worry. I prayed to Allaah for guidance (istikhaarah) before doing some things in my life so that my affairs would be set straight, but after doing all these things, my worry and distress only increased, and the calamities and grief grew worse. All the things about which I prayed istikhaarah failed, and brought me trouble. All doors were closed in my face.

Allaah forbid that I should complain about Allaah to you, rather I complain about my sorrow and grief to Allaah. But I want to know why Allaah did not answer me? And why did I not succeed in any of my worldly affairs, even though I took the necessary means and put my trust in Allaah, and I did not do anything without praying istikhaarah beforehand, and Allaah helps the kaafir in his worldly affairs if he takes the necessary means. I do not eat haraam things and I do not intend to do bad things to anyone and I pray for everyone to be guided.

I heard one of the Shaykhs telling the story of Pharaoh and he said that Allaah said to Moosa: “By My Might and Majesty, if he had asked Me to save him I would have saved him.” Some questions began to form in my mind: Am I more insignificant before Allaah that Pharaoh, even though I have not committed the sins that he did? If that is not the case, then why is Allaah testing me with these trials even though I do not have a lot of faith? If the reason is my sins, then I have repented from all sins, and I have said a lot of du’aa’. If Allaah wants to raise me in status in Paradise thereby, how can that be when Allaah knows that I am not able to bear this trial?

Many questions are going around in my mind, they are haunting me and I cannot find any answer. In fact my resolve has started to fail and my faith is beginning to weaken, and I feel very distressed about everything in this world. I can no longer bear this burden. It has gone on too long and I am filled with deep despair and doubt is entering my heart. Were it not that Allaah has forbidden suicide, I would have done it and given myself a break. I apologize for going on at such length.

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We ask Allaah to accept your repentance and forgive your sin, and to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

Secondly:

Undoubtedly there is some error in your understanding of the issue of du’aa’ and response and calamity. What you are suffering from is something natural, if you do not have a proper understanding of these and similar matters. We empathize with you and feel your pain, and we hope that you will pay attention to what we are going to explain to you, and follow it. We see from your letter that you are prepared to accept what we want to tell you, and this had encouraged us to write back to you and tell you what will be good for you in this world and in the Hereafter.

Thirdly:

Many people think that all they have to do is to declare their repentance to their Lord, then they will immediately have it easy and be relieved of trouble, and wealth will come to them, and they will live a life of luxury! But none of that is necessarily the case. Rather there is a test and trial of this person’s repentance: is it sincere or not? Is it for the sake of Allaah or not? All of that means he will face a new test. Indeed the purpose and wisdom behind this life is that it is a test and trial. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, We have created man from Nutfah (drops) of mixed semen (sexual discharge of man and woman), in order to try him, so We made him hearer and seer”

[al-Insaan 76:2]

If he understands this fact, then he should surrender in his heart to his Lord and accept it, but if he does not understand that, then he will not be able to surrender in his heart to his Lord, even if he seems to have surrendered outwardly. Hence it was narrated that some of the salaf said:

“If the kings and sons of kings knew what joy we experience, they would fight us for it with their swords.”

What joy could be referred to here? It is the joy of the heart that has certain faith in its Lord, may He be exalted, and the joy of obeying Him and the happiness of drawing closer to Him, even if they were going through hardships. This is the measure of a good life, as Allaah says in His Holy Book, where He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”

[al-Nahl 16:97]

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The one who combines faith and good deeds, “to him We will give a good life” by giving him tranquillity in his heart and peace of mind, and by causing him not to pay any attention to that which could disturb his heart. Allaah will grant him a goodly provision from sources he could not imagine, and “We shall pay them certainly” in the Hereafter “a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do”, all kinds of delight such as no eye has seen, no ear has heard and it has not crossed the mind of any man. So Allaah will give him good in this world and good in the Hereafter. Tafseer al-Sa’di (p. 448).

With regard to others, such as the kuffaar and sinners, listen to what Allaah says about them (interpretation of the meaning):

“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (i.e. neither believes in this Qur’aan nor acts on its teachings) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection”

[Ta-Ha 20:124]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“But whosoever turns away from My Reminder” means: goes against My command and that which I have revealed to My Messenger, and turns away from it and ignores it, and follows something other than its guidance, “verily, for him is a life of hardship” i.e., in this world, so he will have no tranquillity or peace of mind, rather he will be in a state of anxiety because of his misguidance, even if he appears outwardly to be living a life of luxury, wearing what he wants, eating what he wants, living where he wants, but so long as his heart has no certain faith and is not guided, then he will be in a state of anxiety and confusion and doubt, and he will remain doubtful and hesitant. This is part of the life of hardship.

Tafseer Ibn Katheer (5/322, 323)

Is it in any way wise or reasonable to give up that which Allaah has given you of different kinds of worship, and has honoured you with belief in it, because you are deceived by the ease and ample provision enjoyed by the kuffaar in this world?

“Do they think that in wealth and children with which We enlarge them
56. We hasten unto them with good things. Nay, [it is a Fitnah (trial) in this worldly life so that they will have no share of good things in the Hereafter] but they perceive not”

[al-Mu’minoon 23:55]

Moreover you are ignoring the clear evidence in the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger about du’aa’ and its great importance, and the causes of it being answered, and you are focussing on things such as the phrase “By My Might and Majesty, if he had asked Me to save him I would have saved him” which is more akin to the words of story tellers and reports from the Children of Israel.

Even if we assume it is sound, is simply getting what one wants in this world of good living and ample provision a sign that he is accepted by his Lord?

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“As for man, when his Lord tries him by giving him honour and bounties, then he says (in exultation): “My Lord has honoured me.”

16. But when He tries him by straitening his means of life, he says: “My Lord has humiliated me!”

17. Nay! But you treat not the orphans with kindness and generosity (i.e. you neither treat them well, nor give them their exact right of inheritance)!

18. And urge not one another on the feeding of Al‑Miskeen (the poor)!

19. And you devour the inheritance — all with greed.

20. And you love wealth with much love.

21. Nay! When the earth is ground to powder.

22. And your Lord comes with the angels in rows.

23. And Hell will be brought near that Day. On that Day will man remember, but how will that remembrance (then) avail him?

24. He will say: “Alas! Would that I had sent forth (good deeds) for (this) my life!”

25. So on that Day none will punish as He will punish.

26. And none will bind (the wicked, disbelievers and polytheists) as He will bind”

[al-Fajr 89:15-26]

Even if we assume that this provision came to him after a great deal of du’aa’, does this indicate that this person is acceptable and pleasing to his Lord?

“He it is Who enables you to travel through land and sea, till when you are in the ships, and they sail with them with a favourable wind, and they are glad therein, then comes a stormy wind and the waves come to them from all sides, and they think that they are encircled therein. Then they invoke Allaah, making their Faith pure for Him Alone, (saying): “If You (Allaah) deliver us from this, we shall truly, be of the grateful.”

23. But when He delivers them, behold! They rebel (disobey Allaah) in the earth wrongfully. O mankind! Your rebellion (disobedience to Allaah) is only against your ownselves, — a brief enjoyment of this worldly life, then (in the end) unto Us is your return, and We shall inform you of that which you used to do”

[Yoonus 10:22-23]

Shaykh Ibn al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

They understood that they were doomed, so they ended their dependence on created beings and they realized that no one could save them from this hardship except Allaah alone, so they called upon Him, making their Faith pure for Him Alone and promising that they would adhere to that, and they said: “If You (Allaah) deliver us from this, we shall truly, be of the grateful” but “when He delivers them, behold! They rebel (disobey Allaah) in the earth wrongfully” i.e., they forget that hardship and that du’aa’, and what they committed themselves to, and they associate others with Allaah whom they acknowledge cannot save them from hardships or protect them from difficulty. Why are they not sincere towards Allaah in worship in times of ease as they are at times of hardship?

But they will face the consequences of their rebellion, hence Allaah says:

“Your rebellion (disobedience to Allaah) is only against your ownselves, — a brief enjoyment of this worldly life” i.e., everything that you hope when you rebel and turn away from Allaah, is to make some worldly gains, which will soon come to an end, then you will leave them behind: “then (in the end) unto Us is your return” on the Day of Resurrection, “and We shall inform you of that which you used to do”. This is the ultimate warning to them against persisting in what they are doing. End quote. Tafseer al-Sa’di (361).

Think about the meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever desires the quick‑passing (transitory enjoyment of this world), We readily grant him what We will for whom We like. Then, afterwards, We have appointed for him Hell; he will burn therein disgraced and rejected __ far away from Allaah’s Mercy).

19. And whoever desires the Hereafter and strives for it, with the necessary effort due for it (i.e. does righteous deeds of Allaah’s obedience) while he is a believer (in the Oneness of Allaah __ Islâmic Monotheism) — then such are the ones whose striving shall be appreciated, (thanked and rewarded by Allaah).

20. On each __ these as well as those __We bestow from the Bounties of your Lord. And the Bounties of your Lord can never be forbidden.

21. See how We prefer one above another (in this world), and verily, the Hereafter will be greater in degrees and greater in preferment”

[al-Isra’ 17:18-21]

You should understand that the matter is not as you think, that the one who gets his share or has his du’aa’ answered is better, and that the one who does not get anything is of lesser status. No, it is not like that.

Fourthly:

Many people are mistaken about the issue of du’aa’ in many ways. With regard to your question we want to point out two mistakes:

1 – You think that du’aa’ is answered just because you say du’aa’. This is wrong, because there are conditions for du’aa’s to be answered and there are impediments which prevent it from being answered.

For a detailed discussion concerning this matter, please see the answer to question no. http://islamqa.com/en/ref/5113

In that discussion you will see that one of the impediments to du’aa’ being answered in your case is your being impatient and getting frustrated.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A person will still be answered so long as his du’aa’ does not involve sin or severing ties of kinship, and so long as he does not become impatient.” It was said: O Messenger of Allaah, what does being impatient mean? He said: “Saying, I said du’aa’, and I said du’aa’, and I did not receive any response, then he becomes frustrated and stops saying du’aa’.” Narrated by Muslim (2735).

2 – You think that the response can only be of one kind, which is getting what you asked for in du’aa’ such as wealth, children, a job and so on. This is wrong, because the response may be of three types: it may be by getting what one asked for in du’aa’, or it may be that evil commensurate with one’s du’aa’ is warded off, or that may be stored up for one as reward for the Day of Resurrection.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no Muslim who does not offer any du’aa’ in which there is no sin or severing of family ties but Allaah will give him one of three things in return: either He will answer his du’aa’ sooner, or he will store it up for him in the Hereafter, or He will divert an equivalent evil away from him because of it.” They said: “We will say a lot of du’aa’.” He said: “Allaah is more generous.” Narrated by Ahmad (10749), classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (1633).

Fifthly:

If a Muslim is falling short in his worship and obedience, that should make him feel that he is not worthy of having his du’aa’ answered, and perhaps that will motivate him to do more acts of worship and obedience that will bring him closer to Allaah. If the caller believes that he has done that which Allaah loves and is pleased with, and that he deserves an answer, that will make him think badly of his Lord, may He be exalted, and will make him feel let down and begin to despair, until he wishes that he could escape from life by committing suicide. All of that, unfortunately, we can see in your words.

This is unlike the one who is aware of his shortcomings before his Lord. This will make him think badly of himself, not of his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted, and that will motivate him to keep away from forbidden things and do obligatory things, and to follow the path of piety, and to avoid overindulging in permissible things which may distract him from obeying his Lord.

Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It was narrated that ‘Umar Ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: By avoiding that which Allaah has forbidden, Allaah will accept du’aa’ and tasbeeh. And it was narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The amount of du’aa’ with righteousness that is sufficient is like the amount of salt that is sufficient with food.” And Muhammad ibn Waasi’ said: A little du’aa’ is sufficient with piety.

One of the salaf said: Do not expect a response when you have blocked the way with sins. One of the poets also commented on this by saying:

We call upon Allaah for every hardship, then we forget Him when the hardship is relieved.

How can we hope for an answer to our du’aa’s, when we have blocked its way with sins?

Jaami’ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam (1/107, 108).

Al-Qurtubi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It was said to Ibraaheem ibn Adham:


Why is it that we supplicate and receive no response?

He said because you know Allaah but you do not obey Him, and you know the Messenger but you do not follow his Sunnah, and you know the Qur’aan but you do not act in accordance with it, and you eat from the blessings of Allaah but you do not give thanks for them, and you know Paradise but you do not seek it, and you know Hell but you do not flee from it, and you know the shaytaan but you do not fight him rather you agree with him, and you know death but you do not prepare for it, and you have buried the dead but you do not learn a lesson from that, and you ignore your own faults and are preoccupied with other people’s faults.

Tafseer al-Qurtubi (2/312).

Study this brilliant passage from the writings of Ibn al-Jawzi concerning this matter. He (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

I think part of the test is when a believer supplicates and receives no response, and he repeats the du’aa’ for a long time and sees no sign of a response. He should realize that this is a test and needs patience.

What a person experiences of waswaas when the response is delayed is a sickness which needs medicine, I have experienced this myself. A calamity befell me and I supplicated and did not see any response, and Iblees started to lay his traps. Sometimes he said : The generosity (of Allaah) is abundant and He is not miserly, so why is there a delay?

I said to him: Be gone, O cursed one, for I have no need of anyone to argue my case and I do not want you as a supporter!

Then I told myself: Beware of going along with his whispers, for if there was no other reason for the delay except that Allaah is testing you to see whether you will fight the enemy, that is sufficient wisdom.

My soul (nafs) said: How could you explain the delay in the response of Allaah to your prayers for relief from this calamity?

I said: It is proven with evidence that Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, is the Sovereign, and the Sovereign may withhold or give, so there is no point in objecting to Him.

2 – The wisdom behind that is proven in definitive evidence. I may think that something is good, but wisdom does not dictate it, but the reason for that may be hidden, just as a doctor may do things that appear outwardly to be harmful, intending some good purpose thereby. Perhaps this is something of that nature.

3 – There may be an interest to be served by delay, and haste may be harmful. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A person will be fine so long as he does not become impatient and says, ‘I prayed but I did not receive any answer.’”

4 – The response may be withheld because of some fault in you. Perhaps there was something dubious in what you ate or your heart was heedless at the time when you said the du’aa’, or your punishment is being increased by means of your need being withheld, because of some sin from which you have not repented sincerely.

So look for some of these reasons, so that you might achieve your aim.

5 – You should examine the intention behind this request, because attaining it may lead to more sin, or prevent you from doing some good, so withholding it is better.

It was narrated that one of the salaf used to ask Allaah to help him to go out on campaign, but a voice called out to him: If you go out on campaign you will be taken prisoner, and if you are taken prisoner you will become a Christian!

6 – Perhaps losing what you have missed out on will cause you to turn to Allaah and getting it will distract you from Him. This is obvious, based on the fact that were it not for this calamity you would not have turned to Him, because the real calamity is what distracts you from Him, but what makes you stand before Him is good for you and is in your best interests.
If you ponder these things you will focus on what is more beneficial for you, such as correcting a mistake or seeking forgiveness or standing before Allaah and beseeching Him, and forget about what you have missed out on . End quote.

Sayd al-Khaatir (59-60).


And Allaah is the Source of strength.

 

[Ummof2a]

Jazakullah Khair for sharing.

 

[Precious Star]

Assalaam walaikum,

They are only disappointments if that is the label you place on that experience. It is better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.

You gave up that false illusion of loving someone for the Love and Fear of Allah. You did not lose anything at all. The illusion dissipated. You gained.

You may be saddened by what you wanted to transpire, but that is not the reality. It was the best thing in the world that happened to you.

What if he had embraced Islam and later decided it was not for him; each day would become more difficult. You were saved from a lot of misery. Compound that misery if you had children.

You were lucky.

While we have life at our fingertips we try to embrace it. Not everything is in the hereafter.

I am poor at using words, I see. Faith is not an either/or. Faith is lucid. You are not being punished.

Am I making sense?

Aapa:

13 years ago, when I completed my education, I prayed that the next step in my life would be a family of my own.

I got a job and kept praying.

10 years ago, I was becoming more financially self-sufficient. My friends were getting married and having children. I prayed for a family of my own, expecting it to happen. I asked God for same. I came home every day and prayed. I was exhausted from working long hours and wanted more in my life. I tried to look around.

I began traveling and my mother told me that the prayers of the traveller are always answered.

5 years ago, I bought a house. On the day I moved in, my mother and i prayed that it would soon be filled with a spouse and children. My friends came to see my house, and prayed that soon my life would be filled with a partner and children. I was doubly exhausted from working long hours and wanted more in my life. I continued to make "special prayers" while traveling. I expected the big change to happen. I tried to "look around" more aggressively.

All those years, I knew God heard me.

Today, I am broken, sad and lonely. I come home at night and do wudu and offer my prayers.

Can you please tell me all that I have gained. Other than exhaustion, but this time its more than just physical. So in y our view, I should embrace what I have gained with joy, celebration and happiness? Can you please tell me what it is I should be joyful about?

In my view, I have not gained but maintained the status quo. In your view, by not obtaining a family of my own, all my prayers have been answered?

I wish I could embrace aloneness as a gift after all these years of praying for the opposite, but I am really really finding it hard to see it that way.