Important Questions About Lowering the Gaze

[lightofnur]

Assalammualaikum everyone.

I'll get straight to the point and ask a couple (hopefully!) of serious questions on lowering the gaze as I believe these to be the questions that a looooot of people want to know.

1)What is the definition of "lowering the gaze"? Does it mean literally lowering our gaze, or does it mean that we must turn our eyes/head/both elsewhere when looking at the opposite gender?

2)When we talk to the opposite gender (and not cause of desires or the like, but simply cause they started the conversation first or they are asking us about something - this mostly applies to non-Muslims), how must we respond? I've seen a couple of people who actually look hurt when I turn my eyes away.

3)When we do talk in the circumstances of question 2, is it a sin to look the second time at their face and elsewhere again when speaking to them? As in, look a bit, turn our eyes, look a bit, face elsewhere, etc. (and repeatedly doing this as long as the period of conversation)? Because I read some hadith that stated a second glance is forbidden? Isn't it very difficult to completely avoid a second glance?

4)What is the definition of "gaze" in Islam? A look, a glance, a literal gaze/stare, or all?

5)Some people have said that a gaze means looking at someone with desire or lust, but others, like Islam QA for example, state ...

"So it is clear that deliberately looking at a non-mahram woman and continuing to look after a first accidental glance is haraam. It is forbidden to look at any part of her body, whether you think she is beautiful or not, whether it provokes sexual desire or not, whether it is accompanied by evil thoughts or not, and whether it leads to immoral deeds or not."

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/1774

What is the exact definition and scholarly consensus?

I'll edit and add more questions later, but for now, these are the questions that have gone unanswered. Anyone who answers, may Allah Bless you with His Love and blessings as well as forgiveness; may we all learn from this topic. Lastly, I urge that people state the facts and not their own interpretations and opinions on the matter. Jazakallah khairan

 

[lightofnur]

Um, any takers? I'm sorry if I'm double posting, but this isn't to seek attention. I need help here in my (and so many others) struggle to lower the gaze - if only we understood. So anyone willing to answer, please? May Allah Bless you all immensely.

 

[Asja]

:salam2:

Alhamdulillah sister we are forbidden to look in man and we should lower our gaze does not metter on which way we look in man, because that can lead to haram thoughts and feelings, And Allah knows the best.

Allah is ordering us not only to keep our modesty and chasity Alhamdulillah but aslo to keep ourselves from anything that can lead to haram,and in Islam looking in forbidden man/ woman is also considered as zina of eyes. And Allah knows the best.

May Allah guide us all to the right path. Ameen

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

As Believers we have decided to follow the Sunna.

Our eyes see and our brains identify what we see. Our hearts get filled with passion.

Lowering our gaze is not just about men. It is about everything. Be content..do not be greedy.
Lower your gaze to sins, as well. Do not seek sin. Think of it this way you do not need to go to Sin City.

Our hearts are to be for Allah. Why would we want any additional burden on them.

( none of this is opinion )

Yes, I lower my eyes, I tilt my head down, and I keep my chin tucked in a little bit.

 

[islamdonlyway]

walikumsalam,

I actually need answer for question 2 !! as you mentioned that non muslims find it rude if your not haveing some sort of eye contact and talking to them. Like if your teacher was to speak to you (opposite gender) they may find it that your not even botherd listening to them unless your haveing some sort of eye contact. But i guess this is the rule of ALLAH and the wisdom is behind it, and we should convey to the non muslims that its prescribed for us in our religion to lower our gaze so they dont get offended.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

It is easier for sisters. ( you would think I have a neck condition!).

You can be very polite but not have to look at the person's eyes. Its also a distance thing. I keep a safer distance than required. I cock my ears up; thus the person knows I am listening which is the objective.

If you must do a face to face this works: lower your eyeballs and start staring at your feet...

As a woman I wear prescription sunglasses...I know I am almost a ninja...

Also...e-mail is a good solution. I e-mail often.

I pray this helps you a little bit.

 

[ayesha.ansari]

Problem with Gazing....

Many people face one problem; in their daily routine they have to follow one path and many people would be almost same on the same path. SO they start gazing those people. well i saw less women gazing then males. male start gazing ayu and until and unless you start becoming irritate with them they won't stop gazing you. Is their any solution for these people. :astag:

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

For me, if I feel that I have an attraction to that particular woman or if I noticed that she is wearing revealing clothing, I begin to slightly look away. It tells me that I need to lower my gaze. There's no need for me to lower if I'm not attracted or distracted by someone or something.

 

[lightofnur]

:salam2:

Alhamdulillah sister we are forbidden to look in man and we should lower our gaze does not metter on which way we look in man, because that can lead to haram thoughts and feelings, And Allah knows the best.

Allah is ordering us not only to keep our modesty and chasity Alhamdulillah but aslo to keep ourselves from anything that can lead to haram,and in Islam looking in forbidden man/ woman is also considered as zina of eyes. And Allah knows the best.

May Allah guide us all to the right path. Ameen

Wa'alaikumussalam everyone!

Sis, I understand, and I won't question Allah's rules. However, I am asking about the practicality of it - how it should be done under the above circumstances and also on the permissibility or rulings.

Assalaam walaikum,

As Believers we have decided to follow the Sunna.

Our eyes see and our brains identify what we see. Our hearts get filled with passion.

Lowering our gaze is not just about men. It is about everything. Be content..do not be greedy.
Lower your gaze to sins, as well. Do not seek sin. Think of it this way you do not need to go to Sin City.

Our hearts are to be for Allah. Why would we want any additional burden on them.

( none of this is opinion )

Yes, I lower my eyes, I tilt my head down, and I keep my chin tucked in a little bit.

Thank you very much for the answer sister, and I have no problems seeing the rationale behind it. But like I said to sis Asja, I would like to know if there are any practical solutions to getting around the "lower your gaze" problems as well as the rulings given the circumstances.

walikumsalam,

I actually need answer for question 2 !! as you mentioned that non muslims find it rude if your not haveing some sort of eye contact and talking to them. Like if your teacher was to speak to you (opposite gender) they may find it that your not even botherd listening to them unless your haveing some sort of eye contact. But i guess this is the rule of ALLAH and the wisdom is behind it, and we should convey to the non muslims that its prescribed for us in our religion to lower our gaze so they dont get offended.

They certainly think there is something wrong with them, and I can't explain the reasons I don't look at them full in the face every single time, can I? Which is why I'm confused on how to go around this.

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

It is easier for sisters. ( you would think I have a neck condition!).

You can be very polite but not have to look at the person's eyes. Its also a distance thing. I keep a safer distance than required. I cock my ears up; thus the person knows I am listening which is the objective.

If you must do a face to face this works: lower your eyeballs and start staring at your feet...

As a woman I wear prescription sunglasses...I know I am almost a ninja...

Also...e-mail is a good solution. I e-mail often.

I pray this helps you a little bit.

Haha, I laughed at this answer! That is practical, but a little more elaboration wouldn't hurt. I don't keep their emails to be honest ... and I only ever talk when they talk to me, and most of the time it is study-related or a simple hello/small chat from a non-Muslim classmate, and I don't really start it, but try my best to keep it short and to gaze elsewhere; but I can't keep it up that long when they are soooo friendly, while I'm smiling a bit, glancing a little, squirming inside at the awkwardness I'm creating ... do you get what I'm trying to say? I almost look like I have some deep internal pain or whatnot. :I

Many people face one problem; in their daily routine they have to follow one path and many people would be almost same on the same path. SO they start gazing those people. well i saw less women gazing then males. male start gazing ayu and until and unless you start becoming irritate with them they won't stop gazing you. Is their any solution for these people. :astag:

Guys do that a lot. And I appreciate the fact that - Alhamdulillah - I'm getting more modest, but I'm realizing slowly that whenever I do have to speak to the opposite gender, I get unnecessarily embarrassed and assume lots of incorrect ideas (not out of pride, but because it has been such a long time that I have interacted with them properly like during my earlier years - before becoming baligh that is!) I heard that a good quality of a Muslim is shyness (in one sense of the word, not to say its anti-confidence), but I have become so increasingly shy and just a ball of withering self-esteem.

:salam2:

For me, if I feel that I have an attraction to that particular woman or if I noticed that she is wearing revealing clothing, I begin to slightly look away. It tells me that I need to lower my gaze. There's no need for me to lower if I'm not attracted or distracted by someone or something.

But brother, I do think that based on the excerpt from Islam QA I posted, that whether you find her attractive or not, it is not permissible to not lower your gaze at her.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Practice make perfect. It comes with time and an attitude. You just develop an air around you.

You have to adjust to what is a good balance. In English there is a word that is not used very often any more. It is reserved. It has very polite connotations.
It has a shyness without being rude.

We also have the word aloof. That is a degree more reserved.

Between these two states is a good middle.

The smiling etc. is just normal. You have to decide what is your comfort zone.

 

[Perseveranze]

Like this -

^She must've felt awkward. But, it's important we keep to Sunnah, it's a matter of respect towards the other gender and keeping away from things that could lead to evil thoughts or actions.

That's a Muslim.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Yep...just like that.