Respect

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

That's right sister..keep it positive. And think of the possibilities we have; we can open up our own orphanages..where children will be protected unlike the nightmares of foster homes..the possibilities are endless.

But never give up home..so many of you are so young still..and Believe I make dua for my sisters in faith.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Assalaam walaikum,

That's right sister..keep it positive. And think of the possibilities we have; we can open up our own orphanages..where children will be protected unlike the nightmares of foster homes..the possibilities are endless.

But never give up home..so many of you are so young still..and Believe I make dua for my sisters in faith.

:salam2: may Allah bless you dear Aapa for your dua`s and for every comfort that i find in reading your posts. Allah decides what is best for us, inchallah, inchallah...
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
:salam2:

Dear sister I too haven´t any child and by age no hope to become mom.

I thank Allah about it as He only decide who be and who doesn´t get bless be mother.

:tti_sister:

Allah only decided to me some other destiny - as valuable as being mother.

:muslim_child:

Insha'Allah sister. I am waiting for that day, too. However, it may only come in the afterlife. That may may mean that we will live our entire lives with a hole in our hearts - for me, anyway. Everyone is different.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Assalaam walaikum,

Sisters..it took seventeen years of dua for me to bring home my bundle of joy..and the clock was about to tock.

As Sister Harb stated..there is a balance in what blessings He gives us.

Do you not think that Allah knows what you have walked away from to Please Him. And how He blesses us. How He blesses us.


Yes but Aapa your life circumstances and personal choices led you to having children. That's the reality. Its not my reality nor, I am guessing, the reality of many other women.

There are many of us who did not have those options, that's why we never got married and never will have children. You must realize that. We can make so much dua (and I do make dua) but if it is not in our destiny, and if we do not have courage to "go against the grain", so to speak, it won't happen. And it didn't. In the muslim and south asian communities, we are treated as leftovers. We can honour our own mothers till eternity (which I do), but who is going to honour us when we are old? Who is going to pray at our gravesides? Who is going to hold our hands as we lay dying? No one.
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
Yes but Aapa your life circumstances and personal choices led you to having children. That's the reality. Its not my reality nor, I am guessing, the reality of many other women.

There are many of us who did not have those options, that's why we never got married and never will have children. You must realize that. We can make so much dua (and I do make dua) but if it is not in our destiny, and if we do not have courage to "go against the grain", so to speak, it won't happen. And it didn't. In the muslim and south asian communities, we are treated as leftovers. We can honour our own mothers till eternity (which I do), but who is going to honour us when we are old? Who is going to pray at our gravesides? Who is going to hold our hands as we lay dying? No one.

As'salamu alaikum dear sister,

may Allah make your affairs easy for you inshallah. Have you ever considered adopting a child till that faithful day comes?
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Why use the past tense...you can get married. Keep it in the present...

as old as I am I keep the candle of hope burning...I make dua that Allah present that wonderful brave man who will have the patience of faith to Please Allah and marry me.

I keep it positive...Allah, I know he is out there. And I think to myself...that is one strong brother...imagine the faith of the man that is going to make me quiet.

Yes, I daydream of candlelight dinners, slow rainy Saturday afternoon, someone to talk to and listen along, a companion to pray with...

I ain't done trying; not yet anyway
 

Isra

aka Tree2008
We should appreciate our own mothers and also support those who are missing such a blessing in their lives.


8588orpan.jpg


This is a picture of an orphan boy who drew himself a mother on the ground and slept next 2 her.

As salamo alaikome

WOW and all I can say is WOW! This is a very powerful thread! I was reading all the posts and doing my very very best to keep composure and not let the tears flow but this is the post that got me! I could not contain the tears any longer. The thought of this poor baby all alone sleeping on the floor beside a drawing he made of his mother just broke my heart!

Jazakallah sisters. May Allah bless all of the mothers in the world and may he give peace and rest to those who have already passed on from this world Ameen. :tti_sister:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

Precious Star...I now have access to a large Muslim community..not to worry....I'm gonna get you a hubby..before I get me one...InshaAllah, I will put the word out on Monday.

( unfortunately, the Muslim community here is very conservative and success bent..but we have a thriving metropolis.)...can the husband type be boring...you know goes to work, makes money, comes home, and is happy.
 

Almaas

Junior Member
Walaykumasalaam, Jezak'Allaah khair for the beautifully written reminder.

Yes but Aapa your life circumstances and personal choices led you to having children. That's the reality. Its not my reality nor, I am guessing, the reality of many other women.

There are many of us who did not have those options, that's why we never got married and never will have children. You must realize that. We can make so much dua (and I do make dua) but if it is not in our destiny, and if we do not have courage to "go against the grain", so to speak, it won't happen. And it didn't. In the muslim and south asian communities, we are treated as leftovers. We can honour our own mothers till eternity (which I do), but who is going to honour us when we are old? Who is going to pray at our gravesides? Who is going to hold our hands as we lay dying? No one.

My dear sister, how can you expect your du3a's to be answered if you yourself have no faith in expecting the desired outcome? You can't determine the future, you only know what you think will happen. Never lose hope in God. (This is firstly a reminder for myself.)

"Certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." (Quran: 3:159)
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Walaykumasalaam, Jezak'Allaah khair for the beautifully written reminder.



My dear sister, how can you expect your du3a's to be answered if you yourself have no faith in expecting the desired outcome? You can't determine the future, you only know what you think will happen. Never lose hope in God. (This is firstly a reminder for myself.)

"Certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." (Quran: 3:159)

Sister, I am 41 years old. I have been praying for a baby my entire adult life. I have not come close - I have not come close to being engaged or being married. At this stage of my life, I have to understand that perhaps God is showing me signs.

Sister, dua does not mean we get what we want in life. Look, we all pray for our parents' health and longevity, right? But the reality is, our parents don't live forever, and quite often their final years are frought with health problems and discomfort. That is the way of Allah. Despite our dua's.

i have a brother who had a girlfriend, and married her. He even lived with her before marriage. Oh, she did the right thing and converted and all that, to make everyone happy. But despite their transgressions, Allah blessed them with 2 healthy children and a happy marriage. Never a struggle. There are so many muslim women who have never had boyfriends or premarital relationships. We wait and wait and hope that Allah will reward us for our patience. But when I look at my brother (and i don't wish badly on him, that is not why I am writing this) I wonder....
 

hana*

Junior Member
@ precious star: dont let shaytan trick you with these thoughts. honestly, do not despair from Allah's mercy and EVEN if you were destined not to be married, Dua is the ONLY thing that can change what was destined for you.

i recommend for you that you do a lot of istighfaar (saying Astaghfirullah) since Allah did mention in the Quran that those who seek forgiveness will be blessed with children and sustinence.

I know many women who were married in their late 30s and early 40s

when it is your time to be married, it happens in a flash, trust me, i speak from experience :hearts:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

That's right sister. We wait. We do not compromise ourselves. We go about our daily lives.

That does not mean that we do not have the opportunity to have interactions with men or relationships.

We wait it out. We do not put out. We keep it halaal.

You are right..I see it. We have the kufr trying to knock down our doors and we scream to Allah. We can't walk down the street, looking like nuns, without men acting like sixteen years olds running after us; they look at us and remember they are men.

Shytan tries to entice us. Oh, my dear lord, what he puts in front of us; what he tempts us with..kufr men are handsome..what temptations are placed on the platter before us

And we do not compromise..we are Believing women..we know that which is with Allah is better.

And 41 in my book is young. That gives you a range of Believing men from 25 to 70+.

We have to let go of the stupid culture...for some reason the Desi culture has real hang-up on the age of women. I wonder how much of that has to do with the influence of the Hindu world.

Sister, age is nothing but a number. Do not limit yourself by the restraints of dumb culture.

So for every sister who wishes she is married, and has the blessing of becoming a mother, for every sister who cries as she clutches her pillow..I respect you.

I respect my sisters in faith. Just think of what Allah has in store for us.
 

Noor El-Huda

Junior Member
Sister Precious star

A lady I know well, was panicking about her age, but she was hopeful. Alhamdullilah that day came and she married at 36. But looking back, she says I was fussy. She didn't want to marry someone who is divorced as she was single. She put an age limit for potential suitors. Not open to marrying from other cultures...etc..and now that she is married she says she was being so silly and didn't help her situation..marrying a divrced man is fine, another culture is fine,what matters is khuluq and deen!

you find in some families, like if the daughter has masters, the potential husband has to have no less. Although thats good, but it is not "the" criteria for a happay marriage. These just add to an already difficult situation.

As for you dear sister, I 'm not assuming you have these. you might be doing all you can to make things easy but it is not happening. But have a think about things that could be possible barriers that you may be unaware of and put your trust in Allah swt.

Sister, don't tire yourself worrying. Do you agree that sometimes when we are looking for something we never seem to find it, but it we don't think about it, its just there staring at us in the face?

Try and gain your happiness from other things in life. Sister islamerica suggesed adopting. Great idea, but if you feel this is a committment that you are not quite ready for, another option could be working in an orphange, or in a nursery. It could give you that sense of joy that you are craving.

I have a friend who works in a nursery, and she tells me I don't feel I want to have more children.She's immersed with children. Orphanages and children with special needs are great places to gain reward from Allah swt and gives you personal satisfaction.

If possible, join sisters circles if possible. Sisters in Islam are for each other and strengthen each other.

"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah. for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction. Ar-Rad, Chapter #13, Verse #28)

You might think, its easy for sisters who have children to speak, but don't forget we have our own test and trials too, that we need to have patience for. I find this aya so beautiful. This is dunia. It has many challenges and tests to our patience. We need Allah swt to pour patience on us.

"Our Lord! Pour forth on us patience"

Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #250

I hope Allah makes it easy for you and to all our sisters who need to get married and have children.

I have met people who did not have children for 15 years, 10 years and now they are too busy to scratch their heads. they have a nursery at home! never loose hope inshAllah.
 

Kakorot

Junior Member
:salam2:

Wallahi this thread is reminding me how ungrateful I am for what I have: a mother.

Jazakillahu khayran wa barak Allahu feeki Aapa, I truely love you for Allah's sake. You made my hard heart cry. :/
 

Almaas

Junior Member
Sister, I am 41 years old. I have been praying for a baby my entire adult life. I have not come close - I have not come close to being engaged or being married. At this stage of my life, I have to understand that perhaps God is showing me signs.

Sister, dua does not mean we get what we want in life. Look, we all pray for our parents' health and longevity, right? But the reality is, our parents don't live forever, and quite often their final years are frought with health problems and discomfort. That is the way of Allah. Despite our dua's.

i have a brother who had a girlfriend, and married her. He even lived with her before marriage. Oh, she did the right thing and converted and all that, to make everyone happy. But despite their transgressions, Allah blessed them with 2 healthy children and a happy marriage. Never a struggle. There are so many muslim women who have never had boyfriends or premarital relationships. We wait and wait and hope that Allah will reward us for our patience. But when I look at my brother (and i don't wish badly on him, that is not why I am writing this) I wonder....

Oh 7abibti, such is the qadr of Allaah swt. It's His command, we can only accept what he bestows upon us and try our level best to act in a pleasing manner. We all have those questions ''Why me.. what did I do to deserve this.. why not them..'' etc. But as the saying goes, we may not be responsible for the situation we are in, but we're certainly responsible for our reaction to it. We can't control the trials that befall us but we can influence the outcome.

Perhaps what you percieve as signs may actually be His test to you so that he may reward you tremendously! Insha'Allaah.

I understand what you mean by not always getting what we want with du3a, but does that mean we stop or give up hope? I really don't think your situation is such an impossible one.

Also, I believe Khadija RA was 40 years old when she married Muhhamed PBUH. Don't think your life in this world is wasted or over, bear your troubles with patience and insha'Allaah you have the whole of eternity to spend with your beloved, whomever he may be!

I truly hope my words have been of some help, I shall remember you in my du3as.

:salam2:
 
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