My early life was without God living an empty and unfulfilling life not caring about anything or anyone. I just meandered through life like that, even flirting with atheism as I have uttered the phrase "there is no God". I believe satan ruled my life and as proof I have broken relationships and people that I've hurt as witnesses. I had no love for humanity, I despised everybody on the planet, love was missing from my life.
When I reached forty years old something happened, I think I began to relfect on my life and I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like myself, a man without love and compassion, truly dispicable. I don't what happened or where the feeling came from but I wanted God, I needed God in my life. I still ask myself if He would ever forgive me.
So I started my search, I began to read the Bible and born as a christian the obvious place to start would be the church. For a while I attended church regularly, every day in fact during the afternoons. It felt good, and I began to notice people and recognised them as fellow seekers. It felt good sitting with elderly grandma type of ladies and I wished that I was a life long church goer like them and deep inside I envied them as I thought that they will be saved for attending church all of their life and I was going straight to hell. Still looking at the figurine on a wooden cross, Mary carrying a child and putting coins into the collection box below each and every saint didn't bring any satisfaction.
My interest in the church waned and I left to start a real search and understand God on my own terms. It only got worse, christian social networking sites didn't like me as I liked to argue and challenge the status quo. I felt I was being herded into a corner and the thought occurred to me that I will always be alone in this world and the next. Then for reasons I cannot explain I read the Holy Qur'an and I thought this guy Muhammed copied bits of the Bible and made a new religion. Then as I began to read it properly again and again some things began to hit home like "oh my god this Qur'an is explaining where the mistakes are in the Bible. Certain things are mentioned that are not in the Bible and it started to make sense. Where the Bible went wrong, the Qur'an is filling in the blanks. Then I joined Muslim Social Networking sites and engaged with people. This time the people whom I talked to, the knowledgeable ones, were saying things that I believed in and wanted to hear such as there is only ONE God, no man has EVER seen Him, He has always been outside of His creation, you do not need an intercessor to speak to Him etc.
So by this stage I was convinced that Islam was the true religion of God and everything about it made sense. However, I didn't immediately run down to the nearest masjid to take the Shahada. There were also other considerations, what will my family and friends will think? Am I betraying my religion and deserting Christianity? After weighing up everything and thinking that my salvation is more important than what people will say, I took the initiative and took the Shahada on 29 October 2011. There was no conflict and no confusion, only happiness and inner peace.
The more I read the Holy Qur'an and the Hadiths the more I'm convinced that Islam is the true religion and Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala is the only True God.
May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala be praised and worshipped always. Ameen.