Pologamy?

[Bina20]

I am against pologamy in this day and age, because no-one is able to treat their wives equally as our Prophet did.

Nowadays one wife will be taken to dinner parties (second wife- the love of his life) and the other one (parent's choice) left to scrub floors. He will never stop at wife number 4, 5...... and so forth. I against how muslims abuse the system now?

How is that just?

Does it make me a bad muslim to think in such way?

 

[Hatty]

maybe some people are able to be fair as much as possible. it is not meant to be for enjoyment. it can actually work as a solution for some social problems in the society.

I do not think I am one of those who will be able to provide and support more than one family. But I encourage those who have the means - emotionally, physically and financially - to marry more than one woman.

I think it is part of social justice to provide family life for another lady, to provide security and support to another Muslim lady and bring up more Muslim children.

Of course, the Islamic conditions should be observed in such an arrangement. and it should not be done because of some selfish reasons....

Allah knows best.

 

[alf2]

So how many polygamists have you met and witnesses such treatment?

 

[Noor El-Huda]

If you hate it because of the example you're describing, then I would hate it too, and I think anyone would hate a badly managed polygamous marriage.

However I am sure there are better examples of polygamy. My sister is in one, and she is truly happy with how just her husband is being mashallah.

A polygamous marriage is a responsibility that needs to be just.Try and see the islamic perspective on Polygamy. If it isn't for you, that's fine, but as long as one does not attack it. As muslims we need to submit to Allah and beileve that there is wisdom behind something Allah made halal.

I can't find the video I had in mind but this should be good too inshallah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_dBjqzB8o4

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

No, you are not a bad Muslim...but, you are very ill-informed. You need to take time to read the reasons that Islam has held the view of plural wives. You need to educate yourself.

Islam provides the answers for all ills of society. Look at the need for family and community.

And what do dinner parties have to do with faith?

 

[saifkhan]

I am against pologamy in this day and age, because no-one is able to treat their wives equally as our Prophet did.

Nowadays one wife will be taken to dinner parties (second wife- the love of his life) and the other one (parent's choice) left to scrub floors. He will never stop at wife number 4, 5...... and so forth. I against how muslims abuse the system now?

How is that just?

Does it make me a bad muslim to think in such way?

As salam 'alaykum warahamtu-llah

hamdu li Allah regarding your last line, it is good manner towards learning.

we understand or not, it fits in our upper compartment or not, we are to follow what Allah and His messenger salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam said, ordered, commanded.

Islam offers the solution, but we are tend to go with what we are being taught by our 'modern' age.

and who taught us, it is the norm to get a single wife?

I assume that you know the situation, the numbers of males and females in the world, yet I'm posting the vdos regarding your inquiries.

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according to your place of living, the number of revert sisters is almost thrice of the brothers, so whom are they going to be married? how can they have the opportunity to get married, the blessing of marriage.


Allah subhanahu wa ta'la offers us the solution, but we tend to go with our understanding. and Allah knows what is best for us, good for us and bad for us, who are we to judge.


these are actually all because of some presets and pre-education of the "modern" age, such modern it can't offer the solution for the imbalance of numbers of male and female and they don't fear to laugh at us, while it allows every kind of immoral relationship, before, after and out of marriage

sister, don't get me wrong, it was not directed to you, but in general response.

may Allah subhanahu wa tala help us to understand His deen, so that we may benefit ourselves in the Dunya and the Akhirah

barakAllahu feekum
wassalam

 

[serena77]

you know...if i were to marry ( at this time i have no real desire to due to family issues ... another story ... a long one.. most won't care )... if the person I were with were just and fair and kind... and remember no one is perfect but he made every effort i don't think i'd have any issue with at all. I think in many ways a polygamous marriage can make things be more wonderful not less. ... I think depending on the circumstances it can enhance the family circle ... imagine if the wives got along and so did their kids how absolutely wonderful that would be.
Serena

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Firstly, Allah has made polygamy as halal hence saying you are against it is not proper. I understand you are coming from the point of no man can be just to all his wives, the Quran did mentioned this (An-Nisa, 4:129), but according to the tafseer "just" here means in term of love. No man can show equal love to all his wives, likely the youngest one will get more attention than the oldest one. Polygamy is an option not obligation. It applies case to case basis, I know a lot friends having 2 wives without any problem. Personally I'm not ready for two reasons, economically not ready and I'm not willing to hurt my wife coz she supported and followed me into Islam.

 

[esperanza]

salam brothers and sisters..

of course we cannot speak out against polygamy ,as it is something allowed for us by Allah,,,,

but that does not mean it is suitable for everyone and in every situation,and unfortunately,there are some do not treat one wife well ,let alone two,,,

yes there are many cases of succesful seond marriages,,,but as many of unsucessful ones...

admittedly there are more women than men in certain areas, especially among reverts,but in many muslim countries,there are large numbers of unmarried men ,right inot thier thirties and forties,,,so why should these not marry before asking others to take two wives,,,,,


and many men use excuse of second wife ,just to satisfy their needs,,,,


yes our prophet PBUH had plural wives, but tell me how many muslim men today follow his way of dealing well with one wife ,let alone two


i know many of you will not agree with me ,but this is my opinion, after observing many marriages ,both one and plural marriages,,,

 

[Tomtom]

It's really strange that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala did not ban polygamy and slavery. Many of the Prophets of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala had both. The reason, I think, is that there are certain times when there will be more women than men as in a time of war. Therefore, for the population to grow, men have to marry more than one wife and as most commentators have said this is really difficult as we are only human beings and we can sometimes favour one over the other and cause jealousy etc.

I'm going to be controversial here and say that men were created above women as in rank and status, Eve was created from Adam's rib to be subservient to Adam in his every needs. So in that respect men are superior to women.

The concept of polygamy was banned by the Western Christian society as it deemed to be an unfair and illogical system of marriage which can cause hardships in marriages. They also deemed that a 'civilised society' can only thrive with a monogomous marriage, thereofore polygamous marriages were lost in the mists of time and only practised by muslims.

Also women's role has changed, they seek equal opportunities nowadays and they are given more freedom than their predecessors who fulfilled a role in making a happy home and supporting the husband in whatever he did. Today's women, in some cases, question their husbands and 'wants to wear the trousers at home'.

 

[saifkhan]

I'm going to be controversial here and say that men were created above women as in rank and status, Eve was created from Adam's rib to be subservient to Adam in his every needs. So in that respect men are superior to women.

Marriage is a universal sunnah as well as mankind's fitrah (innate nature). Allaah says:
"[Adhere to] the fitrah of Allaah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allaah." [30:30]
If man was created alone, then he would be in need of a woman who would join him to form a family. He would also need her so that he could be at ease with her, take repose in her, and be in relaxation with her.

And if Allah created the woman alone, then she would need the man so he would protect and defend her under his care and concern.

And no matter how much of money, status, authority and position a woman may have, she still would need a man. And the man, as well, is in need of the woman and both of them complete one another.

[Taken from "The Prophet (saw) At Home" by Shaykh Muhammad Moosaa Nasr, p.7]

quoted from this thread, thread by Brother AuthenticBase

The concept of polygamy was banned by the Western Christian society as it deemed to be an unfair and illogical system of marriage which can cause hardships in marriages. They also deemed that a 'civilised society' can only thrive with a monogomous marriage, thereofore polygamous marriages were lost in the mists of time and only practised by muslims.

the stranger thing is not the banning, as because it is in Islam, you have to get rid of this idea, as long as you are in west.

and i don't know why the west want to hide the marriage on a piece of paper or registration? I thing in west they are the champions of extra-marital affairs, no matter what you you, how much you do, you can do everything, taking care of another lady that your own wife, buy things, buy foods, go shopping just can't register her as 2nd wife. i dont know what is the definition of marriage to them.

where i live, you can live together, have kids and live until death, but not as married couple, i mean registered, so where is the wisdom I dont know, is it just a fashion or banner of "modernism" Allahu a'lam.

barakAllahu feekum

wassalam

 

[Perseveranze]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Bina20 are you serious lool. Wait till your older or something, otherwise your never going to understand this, look how much ilm people have given you and you still reject it.

 

[Perseveranze]

It's really strange that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala did not ban polygamy and slavery. Many of the Prophets of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala had both. The reason, I think, is that there are certain times when there will be more women than men as in a time of war. Therefore, for the population to grow, men have to marry more than one wife and as most commentators have said this is really difficult as we are only human beings and we can sometimes favour one over the other and cause jealousy etc.

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Watch this brother -

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I'm going to be controversial here and say that men were created above women as in rank and status, Eve was created from Adam's rib to be subservient to Adam in his every needs. So in that respect men are superior to women.

Brother, this is definitly not the right way of looking at things. I would strongly recommend reading this -

Women are like men in some aspects and they differ from them in others. Most of the rulings of Islam apply to men and women equally. In cases where a distinction is made between the sexes, the Muslim regards that as a mercy from Allaah and a sign of His knowledge of His creation, but the arrogant kaafir sees it as oppression and injustice, so he stubbornly insists on claiming that men and women are the same. So let him tell us how a man can carry a foetus and breastfeed it? He stubbornly ignores the weakness of women and how they bleed during their monthly period, and he stubbornly beat his head against the rock of reality. But the Muslim is still at peace with his faith, surrendering to the command of Allaah.

“Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), All‑Aware (of everything)”

[al-Mulk 67:14 – interpretation of the meaning]

And Allaah knows best.

Read it all here - http://islamqa.com/en/ref/1105

The concept of polygamy was banned by the Western Christian society as it deemed to be an unfair and illogical system of marriage which can cause hardships in marriages. They also deemed that a 'civilised society' can only thrive with a monogomous marriage, thereofore polygamous marriages were lost in the mists of time and only practised by muslims.

Banning that which God has made lawful is a grave mistake if I'm honest. The Quran specifically critisised the people of the book for this.

Also women's role has changed, they seek equal opportunities nowadays and they are given more freedom than their predecessors who fulfilled a role in making a happy home and supporting the husband in whatever he did. Today's women, in some cases, question their husbands and 'wants to wear the trousers at home'.

I agree, however I will also admit, men's role have changed too sadly, we have less respect for women and have acted unaccordingly to the teachings of Islam. In summary, the Ummah is in a pitiful state. May Allah unite us and raise this Ummah to the great status it once had.

 

[serena77]

thank you brother for posting the above.. I think what you posted was very clear and consise and i too hope for the Ummah to regain the status it once had.

and Allah knows best
Serena

 

[nyerekareem]

Although, polygamy is allowed in Islam, the Qur'an actually encourages believers to marry only one. Polygamy is something for the man responsible and willing enough for the challenge.

 

[MuslimShadow]

I think polygamy is necessary to sustain monogamy in a society.

 

[esperanza]

I think polygamy is necessary to sustain monogamy in a society.

interesting view sister,can you expalin this more??

 

[MuslimShadow]

interesting view sister,can you expalin this more??

sorry,i don't know much about it as i'm only 18.i heard a scholar saying that.
but i think some men are polygamous by nature and we have to choose between two alternatives; either the formal acceptance of polygamy,or the love affairs system.In other words, either a few married men should marry more than one wife, & these will certainly not exceed ten percent & unmarried women should settle, get a home or else open the way for love affair system.In the latter case every lover may associate at her own free will with several men, & as a result, almost all married men will in practice be polygamists.

 

[Tomtom]

Yusuf Ali
O Prophet! We have made lawful to thee thy wives to whom thou hast paid their dowers; and those whom thy right hand possesses out of the prisoners of war whom Allah has assigned to thee; and daughters of thy paternal uncles and aunts, and daughters of thy maternal uncles and aunts, who migrated (from Makka) with thee; and any believing woman who dedicates her soul to the Prophet if the Prophet wishes to wed her;- this only for thee, and not for the Believers (at large); We know what We have appointed for them as to their wives and the captives whom their right hands possess;- in order that there should be no difficulty for thee. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

The Prophet (pbuh) was given special dispensation to marry whom he pleased as a reward from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. Like I stated earlier, many of the prophets had more than one wife, there is a hadith which says that Prophet Suleyman (pbuh) had 100 wives and he went to them all in one night. Also I'm trying to locate either a verse from the Holy Qur'an or a hadith which says that a man is allowed more than one wife due to his sexual libido, otherwise he will commit adultery. I wonder if anybody can help me out with that? I've searched without success.

 

[Tomtom]

The above quote is from 33:50