Ershad
Junior Member
Simple ‘nikah' is a thing of past
-Hyderabad, India.
Marriages are made in heaven, but the expenses incurred on them could be hell. That's the dilemma facing the Muslim community today. The sheer expenses involved and the never ending demands in the name of ‘jehez' has put many a family on the tenterhooks. The big question before them is - to marry and how.
The problem is more serious for middle class families, particularly those having daughters. They can neither afford an extravagant marriage nor perform one below their standards. Result – thousands of nubile girls are withering away waiting for the knight in shining armour.
Elaborate affairs
Marriages are known to half grieves and double joys. But for most they are ending up quadrupling expenses. Many are coming to grief trying to tread the ostentatious path blazed by the rich. Simple ‘nikah' has become a thing of the past. Weddings are elaborate affairs – the ceremonies spread over several days.
“Even poor parents feel it beneath their dignity to marry off their daughters without a good reception”, says Abid Siddiqui, who counsels families during marriages.
There is a trend among the affluent to spend a fortune on making the marriage of their wards a ‘memorable event'. But the situation is grim in the old city where life is a daily struggle for the community. “This is leading to exploitation by the aging Arab Sheikhs”, bemoans a father.
New practices
Customs and practices alien to Islam have crept into the community. “People are spending a lot on them. This has to be stopped”, says Shaheda Ansari, a Chicago-based Hyderabadi working for reformation in the community.
The Minorities Development Forum and the Siasat Urdu daily have taken the initiative to bring back simplicity in Muslim marriages. During the last four years they have succeeded in getting about 5,000 marriages performed without any dowry demands.
Mortgaging houses
Siasat editor, Zahed Ali Khan, wants people to be realistic and shun false standards. “Some parents are even mortgaging their houses to meet the demands”, he deplores.
On Sunday scores of families finalised alliances for their wards at the “Doo-ba-doo mulaqat” programme organised at the Anwarul Uloom college in Mallepally. Boys and girls were categorised as per their qualifications – medicine, engineering, post-graduates, graduates, Aalim, Fazil and Hafiz.
“It is very easy to choose the kind of alliance you want”, remarked Ismail Khan, who came from Nizambad for a match for his daughter.
Could this be the silver lining behind the cloud?
Source: http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Hyderabad/article2726854.ece
-Hyderabad, India.
Marriages are made in heaven, but the expenses incurred on them could be hell. That's the dilemma facing the Muslim community today. The sheer expenses involved and the never ending demands in the name of ‘jehez' has put many a family on the tenterhooks. The big question before them is - to marry and how.
The problem is more serious for middle class families, particularly those having daughters. They can neither afford an extravagant marriage nor perform one below their standards. Result – thousands of nubile girls are withering away waiting for the knight in shining armour.
Elaborate affairs
Marriages are known to half grieves and double joys. But for most they are ending up quadrupling expenses. Many are coming to grief trying to tread the ostentatious path blazed by the rich. Simple ‘nikah' has become a thing of the past. Weddings are elaborate affairs – the ceremonies spread over several days.
“Even poor parents feel it beneath their dignity to marry off their daughters without a good reception”, says Abid Siddiqui, who counsels families during marriages.
There is a trend among the affluent to spend a fortune on making the marriage of their wards a ‘memorable event'. But the situation is grim in the old city where life is a daily struggle for the community. “This is leading to exploitation by the aging Arab Sheikhs”, bemoans a father.
New practices
Customs and practices alien to Islam have crept into the community. “People are spending a lot on them. This has to be stopped”, says Shaheda Ansari, a Chicago-based Hyderabadi working for reformation in the community.
The Minorities Development Forum and the Siasat Urdu daily have taken the initiative to bring back simplicity in Muslim marriages. During the last four years they have succeeded in getting about 5,000 marriages performed without any dowry demands.
Mortgaging houses
Siasat editor, Zahed Ali Khan, wants people to be realistic and shun false standards. “Some parents are even mortgaging their houses to meet the demands”, he deplores.
On Sunday scores of families finalised alliances for their wards at the “Doo-ba-doo mulaqat” programme organised at the Anwarul Uloom college in Mallepally. Boys and girls were categorised as per their qualifications – medicine, engineering, post-graduates, graduates, Aalim, Fazil and Hafiz.
“It is very easy to choose the kind of alliance you want”, remarked Ismail Khan, who came from Nizambad for a match for his daughter.
Could this be the silver lining behind the cloud?
Source: http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Hyderabad/article2726854.ece