"true" love ?

[mur009]

In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated. This illness is none other than love before marriage, and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.

Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement? To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allaah the Most High, not that which will push you further away from Him and acquire His wrath. Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allaah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them, they lose their appetite, their sleep and become neglectful of life as a whole.These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?

Listen to what Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim has to say:

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”

[ad-Daa' wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]

(Via. Bro. Aboo Thabbit, Student at Madeenah Islamic University)


For more detailed articles, join: http://www.facebook.com/jannah.inshaAllaah

 

[a_stranger]

Thank you young sister, very important topic indeed since most people suffer from such illness. When we know our creator with his noble perfect attributes then we will love him the most love .......this love will guide our steps in life to all that is pure and lawful .no shaytan can shake our Eman or spoil our purity .

 

[mur009]

barak'Allaah feekum

I'm a male

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

Sorry , I didn't notice , I do this mistake very often.

 

[mur009]

barak'Allaah feekum

 

[ipanda]

i may have missed somethings from what you tried to say but is there such a thing as "unlawful" love? Is love before marriage considered "unlawful?" I bet you all I have that Allah is smart enough to understand feeling and emotions of the children He created. Allah is not human being at all. There must be a better explanation to love before marriage because it doesnt make sense to call it unlawful or bad.

 

[kashif_nazeer]

In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated. This illness is none other than love before marriage, and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.

Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement? To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allaah the Most High, not that which will push you further away from Him and acquire His wrath. Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allaah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them, they lose their appetite, their sleep and become neglectful of life as a whole.These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?

Listen to what Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim has to say:

“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”

[ad-Daa' wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]

(Via. Bro. Aboo Thabbit, Student at Madeenah Islamic University)


For more detailed articles, join: http://www.facebook.com/jannah.inshaAllaah

:salam2:
brother for this nice post.BarakAllahu feek.

i may have missed somethings from what you tried to say but is there such a thing as "unlawful" love? Is love before marriage considered "unlawful?" I bet you all I have that Allah is smart enough to understand feeling and emotions of the children He created. Allah is not human being at all. There must be a better explanation to love before marriage because it doesnt make sense to call it unlawful or bad.

:salam2:
I found a ruling regarding types of love hope it will be helpful insha'Allah:

Anwaa‘ al-Mahabbah (Types of Loving) and the Ruling concerning them

In a discussion among Muslims, we were trying to arrive at a definition of "love" in Islam. Though we are all well aware of the love of Allah SWT and our obligation to love both Him and his Prophet(s), we wondered if there is a clear outline of love between humans (similar to the Christian "brotherly love"...NOT the romantic variety). Some posited that "love" lies only within the family, all else is but respect/friend- ship/etc. Others questioned whether love is limited to spouse and/or children. Still others questioned if love can be con-ditional or not. One idea is that "love" (as the term is commonly used) may even be an 'innovation' of sorts, based on fairy tales and Christian philosophy. Many of us have looked in various sources to seek out an "answer", but no one has found a definitive answer as of yet... Can you help?

Praise be to Allaah.

I was very happy to hear that you and your sisters are studying Islamic issues and trying to find out about Islamic views of love. No doubt you and your sisters understand the importance of the scholars’ views and referring to them in matters of dispute. I will quote here a number of views about love, so that you will understand the matter better, in sha Allaah

Love may be divided into mahabbah khaassah (specific love) and mahabbah mushtarakah (general love).

Mahabbah khaassah (specific love):

Specific love may be divided into types that are halaal and types that are haraam.

Halaal love includes:

(1) Love of Allaah, which is the most important obligation, as it is the basis of Islam. By perfecting one’s love of Allaah, one perfects one’s faith. If one’s love of Allaah is lacking, then one’s Tawheed is also lacking. The daleel (evidence) for this is the aayaat (interpretation of the meaning):

“. . . But those who believe, love Allaah more (than anything else) . . .” [al-Baqarah 2:165]

“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight . . . are dearer to you than Allaah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allaah brings about His Decision (torment). And Allaah guides not the people who are faasiqoon (rebellious, disobedient).” [al-Tawbah 9:24]

There are also other similar proofs in the Qur’aan and Sunnah.

Love of Allaah may also take the form of preferring what Allaah loves and wants of His slave to what the slave himself might love and want. So he loves what Allaah loves, hates what He hates, takes as friends or regards as enemies for His sake, and adheres to His laws. There is much that may strengthen this love.

(2) Love of Allaah’s Messenger, which is also one of the most important duties of Islaam. Indeed, faith is not complete until a person loves the Messenger of Allaah more than he loves himself, as in the ahaadeeth:

“The Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said: ‘None of you truly believes until I am more beloved to him than his child, his father and all the people.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 44).

‘Abdullaah ibn Hishaam said: “We were with the Prophet (peace be upon him), and he was holding the hand of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab. ‘Umar said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, you are dearer to me than everything except my own self.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: ‘No (that is not right), by the One in Whose hand is my soul, until I am dearer to you than your own self.’ ‘Umar said to him, ‘Now, by Allaah, you are dearer to me than my own self.’ The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: ‘Now (you are right), O ‘Umar.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 6632).

This love is part of loving Allaah and is manifested by following the Prophet (peace be upon him) and preferring his opinion over that of others.

(3) Love of the Prophets and the believers. This is obligatory because loving Allaah dictates that one should love the people who obey Him, in other words the Prophets and righteous people. The daleel (evidence) for this is the hadeeth “Whoever loves for the sake of Allaah (i.e., loves the people of faith for the sake of Allaah).” Obedience to Allaah is based on love of Allaah. Faith cannot be perfected except in this way, even if one has a lot of prayer and fasting to one’s credit. As ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “You have seen us at the time of the Messenger of Allaah: none of us would think that he had more right to his own money than his Muslim brother.”

Forbidden love:

This includes love which constitutes shirk, which is when a person loves something instead of Allaah or as much as Him. In such a case he has taken that thing as a rival to Allaah. This is the shirk of love, and most people have taken things as rivals to Allaah in love and glorification.

There are also types of forbidden love which do not go to the extent of shirk, such as loving one’s family, wealth, tribe, business or house, and preferring those things, in whole or in part, over doing the duties that Allaah requires of him, such as hijrah (migration for His sake), jihaad, etc. The daleel (evidence) for this is the aayah quoted above (“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight . . . are dearer to you than Allaah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allaah brings about His Decision (torment).” [al-Tawbah 9:24])

Mahabbah mushtarakah (general love):

General love is of three types:

(1) Natural love, such as the love of a hungry person for food, or a thirsty person for water. This does not involve any kind of glorification, so it is permissible.

(2) Love based on mercy and pity, such as the love of a father for his small child. This also involves no kind of glorification, so there is nothing wrong with it.

(3) Love based on acquaintance and friendship, such as that between those who share a common profession, or scholars in the same field, or people one meets on a daily basis (such as fellow-commuters), or people one does business with, or travelling-companions. This type of appropriate love between people, or brotherly love, does not imply shirk or associating anyone else in one’s love for Allaah.

For more information, see Kitaab Tayseer al-‘Azeez, Baab wa min al-naas man yattakhidhu min doon-Allaahi andaadan.

We hope that this explanation makes the matter clearer. We ask Allaah to bless you and us with good. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَشَدُّ حُبًّا لِّلَّهِ
wallatheena amanoo ashaddu hubbanlillahi
But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah .[2:165]
May Allah help us all and fill our hearts with His love and love us.Ameen.

 

[Aapa]

Asslaam walaikum,

You know..it is simple. If your love for someone or something decreases your deen it is wrong. You feel it in your gut. We can not lie to ourselves.

When love flows from Allah subhana wa taala it flows. Everything that is touched by it simply beams. It is as real as real can get. Thus, you protect it. It is generous. It is good. It makes sense. And you guard it hard.

To protect love you remain in a state of wishing to please Allah as you never never want anything else.