need of guidence

carpy321

Junior Member
:salam2: brothers and sisters..
i have a problem so i could really do with some advice..
some of you may no and some of you may not know.. but in a few weeks i am reverting back to islam. Some one managed to get in touch with some highly respected scholoars in london and there taking me to see them.. the problem, my muslim girlfriend put me in contact with.. All i want to do is to allahs will and be a good muslim! but i love my gf so much...
please help guide me.. thank you all
 

Peace2u

Turn To Islam
Salam Mike,

I know deep down you feel guilty with the fact that she is your "girlfriend" and you know girlfriends and boyfriends are not allowed in Islam.

I think the best thing to do is talk to her about marriage, now that you are a Muslim there is no reason why you cannot get married to her.

Salam and Allah help you bro.
 

Bluegazer

Junior Member
Well, to tell you the truth, she should know better.


In Islam, it's very clear that this relationship is prohibited. So, you're right about being concerned about this.


This "girlfriend" relationship is strictly forbidden in Islam. A person who commits sins is still a Muslim, and a sinning Muslim is still in a much better position than a person who disbelieves in Islam after the message of Islam reached him in its true form.

Please click on the following link to read a post about a similar subject [the position of a sinning Muslim]:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=53027&postcount=25

Check out paragraph (c) under point 4.


Don't get me wrong, though. If you -God Forbid- continue this relationship with your girlfriend [while acknowledging that what you're doing is wrong and a grave sin], that means that you're a sinning Muslim. Any sane person would stay away from sins.


Remember Allah and seek His pleasure. Remember that one day we will all answer to Him for our sins.


I also highly advise you to talk to the imam of the Mosque about this issue. He might be able to help you more.


My sincere advice to you is to repent and start a new page in your life. And tell your Muslim girlfriend to do the same too because she should love Allah, fear His punishment and hope for His reward, as every Muslim should.


Best regards,

Bluegazer
 

justoneofmillion

Junior Member
she should have known better!! does anyone know the story of those two little french sisters who were in the headlines of the news in france a couple of years ago?they were banned from school because of them wearing the hijab man these two little twins were barely 12 0r 13 i think and their mother which was a " muslim"had married a secular jew and the daughters had chosen to become muslims and they were on several tv and radio shows in company of their father to defend their right to wear the hijab in school!! they were literally astonishing and very mature for their young age i wish inshallah one day to marry a rightous and pious muslim women i made many mistakes in the past and i had no parents to guide me and show me a good exemple i`ve had white, black ,chinese girlfriends but i have never ever seen the beauty that`s equal to the one of muslim woman on my life these women are not cheap we need to earn them with respect and rightous deeds they are may be the only women in this planet which i still have respect and admiration for . to sum it up brother i think you should go meet your new brothers and don`t worry we all make mistakes that`S why we pray for forgiveness!but Allah swt loves those who repent to him because of the sins they commited in times of ignorance and am sure the brothers will welcome you with open arms too.may Allah swt forgive you and forgive us all sorry if i hurt sensitiv feelings but it was sincerly the truth. wassalam:salah: :salah: :salah:
 

Sonia88

Junior Member
if your really serious about each other i think the best thing to do is to get the ball rolling towards marriage. you both know its wrong so make it right by becoming husband and wife. but if you think that cant happen then best thing to do is leave it.

actually do istikhara u'll find the guidance u want.
 

carpy321

Junior Member
Thank you for everyones advice..
Im going to explain to her how its a new life for me..Allah has given me another chance in life to do whats right, i dont want to start my new life filled with sins..
if she truly does love me shell understand
 

Amirah84

Junior Member
Hi Mike,

I don't know if Ive missunderstood, but I wanted to ask why you're delaying saying your shahada? Allhamdulillah, All Praise be to Allah, Allah guided you to the truth and showed you the right way of life. Therefore you should rush to respond to this Call to Islam and the Truth. The Shahada does not have to be said in the masjid...I would advise you to take the shahada and become one of our muslim brother. Don't let anything put you off for another few weeks or the issue with your girlfriend. We never know when we'll meet our death and if Allah has decreed that for you then you die as a muslim inshaAllah.

With regards to your girlfriend... I think you know the answer to that question. The way you're feeling is due to the fact that you know it's a sin and so want to stay clear from it. InshaAllah I would advise you as the brothers and sister have advised you to first of all recognise that it is a sin. Second of all what are the feelings towards you girlfriend in comparison to the Thankfullness and Love we should have towards Allah subhana wa ta'ala who gave us life and sustenance. Allah gave you the blessing of being able o love someone and with that comes a great deal of good and joy. But Allah subhana wa ta'ala also gave you the correct guidelines that you need to keep yourself within so that the relationship is not a destructive one for both you and society, i.e. you fellow human beings. So be honest with her, but if she doesn't understand then you can't waver towards sin. Also by saving yourself from this sin you'll be saving her from it too.
Ultimately there is no excuse or reason for you to continue this relationship if it's not within the legal limits that Allah has put down for you and I belive you know that.

I wish you all the best,

:wasalam:
Take care
Sister Amirah
 

carpy321

Junior Member
:salam2:
You say i am delaying, i can see you reason for this. But i am not doing it purposely.. When i do become closer to allah i would like there to be some witnesses and i would like it to be in a mosque, and closer to allah. I am meeting her parents on this thursday, in about 30 odd hours and they just want to make sure im making the right decision..
Thank you sisters and brothers you have all valid points and i will be taking your advice
 

saqlawi

Muslim Student
Alhamdulillah you have come upon the truth brother. Assalamualaykum.


Ditto on what everyone else said, marriage.
 

dna1987

Muslim Guy
Salam alaikum. If you really love her, then ask her to marry you. So you may be with her without committing any sins.

And if you feel that you cannot get married right now for other reasons (eg, finance, family), then ask her to wait for you, and you wait for her for a few years till you are both ready to get married.
 

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
AssalaamuAlaikum,

Follow the thumb rule. You have to see what is her character according to the teachings of Islam. How to see that?

Were you both having any physical relations? If yes, then she is not the right Muslimah for you.

I think you already told her that you are reverting. It would be better if you would tell her 'if you are NOT going to revert then will she marry you even you stay nonMuslim?'
If yes then she is not the right Muslimah for you.

Does she at least use modest cloths? Is she ready to use Islamic modest dress (viel) after marriage?

If she did NOT have any physical relation with you AND will only marry you if you revert to Islam AND she is ready to use Hijab (viel) , then better go marry her, and hope that Allah will also give her hidayah that she was having boyfriend relation which is not allowed in Islam.

Islam is the scale. If you adopt her for the sake of Allah SWT then you will be rewarded. If you leave her for the sake of Allah SWT then Allah SWT will provide you better wife InshaAllah, in this world and after too.


Wassalaam,
VE
 

brother4ever

Junior Member
:salam2:
Brother
I will prey that u r problem will solve as soon as possible & ur girlfriend will become ur wife as soon as possible.

ALLAH HAFIZ
Ur Brother
 

carpy321

Junior Member
I think you right.. she is not the right muslima for me.. I have already had a sexual relationship with her.. she does not pray even when i tell her to.. and she has stopped wearing the :hijabi: .. also shes said she will marry me even if i dont revert..
It will be a sad time.. but allah will help me through it..
mike
 

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
I think you right.. she is not the right muslima for me.. I have already had a sexual relationship with her.. she does not pray even when i tell her to.. and she has stopped wearing the :hijabi: .. also shes said she will marry me even if i dont revert..
It will be a sad time.. but allah will help me through it..
mike

Hello,

Ok brother mike. Remember, if you walk towards Allah SWT then the blessings of Allah will run to you. Kindly have a look at the following verses from Quran very carefully:


055.046 But for such as fear the time when they will stand before (the Judgment Seat of) their Lord, there will be two Gardens-

055.047 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.048 Containing all kinds (of trees and delights);-

055.049 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.050 In them (each) will be two Springs flowing (free);

055.051 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.052 In them will be Fruits of every kind, two and two.

055.053 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.054 They will recline on Carpets, whose inner linings will be of rich brocade: the Fruit of the Gardens will be near (and easy of reach).

055.055 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.056 In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-

055.057 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.058 Like unto Rubies and coral.

055.059 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.060 Is there any Reward for Good - other than Good?

055.061 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.062 And besides these two, there are two other Gardens,-

055.063 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.064 Dark-green in colour (from plentiful watering).

055.065 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.066 In them (each) will be two Springs pouring forth water in continuous abundance:

055.067 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.068 In them will be Fruits, and dates and pomegranates:

055.069 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.070 In them will be fair (Companions), good, beautiful;-

055.071 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.072 Companions restrained (as to their glances), in (goodly) pavilions;-

055.073 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.074 Whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-

055.075 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?-

055.076 Reclining on green Cushions and rich Carpets of beauty.

055.077 Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

055.078 Blessed be the name of thy Lord, full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour.

Al-Qur'an, 046.066-078 (Ar-Rahman [The Beneficent, The Mercy Giving])


(I recommend you study this Surah 'Ar-Rahman' carefully. This is called the decoration of Qur'an, and you will know it better when you learn reading arabic InshaAllah).

May Allah give you the companions in this life and after. And May Allah SWT give you a pious wife in life and after.



Wasslaam,
VE
 

virtualeye

Tamed Brother
AssalaamuAlaikum,

And remember, on Judgment day no one will be your savior except Allah SWT. A mother will forget her children and will worry for her deeds and a child will forget his mother. A wife will not care about her husband and the husband will not give any attention to his wife. Everyone will stunned, shocked and worried for his eternity. But the those people who were pious in this world, their faces will be bright more than daylight, they will not have any worries.


069.019 Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

069.020 "I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

069.021 And he will be in a life of Bliss,

069.022 In a Garden on high,

069.023 The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

069.024 "Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the days that are gone!"


Al-Qur'an, 069.019-024 (Al-Haaqqa [The Reality])




Wasslaam,
VE
 
Top