Aziboy
Banned
Hanan with Priest John's Family
"Ahlan Wa Sahlan" was the first greeting I received from John's family at Minneapolis St. Paul international Airport in Minnesota, the US. Lynnell, a typical American wife (white blonde with blue eyes), and Jackson, the middle son who's learning Arabic and wants to be a language teacher, helped me carry my heavy luggage and stuff it into their car to drive me to the University of Saint Thomas's dormitory — where I'd begin a two-month press fellowship.
Understanding the "Other"
One evening, Lynnell, my host mother, invited me over to dinner, where I met the other three members of her family; Will, the oldest son who's 22 years old and studies politics and wants to be a history teacher, Carter, the youngest who wants to be an actor, and John. I also met the husband, father, and priest.
American families usually dine at 6 or 7, but that night, my host family was having a late dinner at around 8:30 in the evening. The reason? It was Ramadan, so I was fasting, and the sun doesn't go down until 8:30, so they waited for me.
We started setting the table around 8 pm, and I could feel how anxious the three sons were to have dinner; they went around eating some grapes and vegetables and sipping some drinks, asking me several times if it was okay for me seeing them eat, and I always answered with a smile: "It makes me feel strong."
I have to say I went to dinner feeling troubled, since I was looking to have a good Iftar after almost 16 hours of fasting, but I didn't know what kind of food they'll have for me.
Yet, to my surprise, the lovely family brought me some halal meat, white rice, and even Hummus from a famous halal-food company, while John was busy wrapping grape leaves for me, and when it was time to eat, we all shared the halal food along with green salad.
We talked politics, about the US and the Muslim World; about Palestine and Israel; about Egypt, terrorism, hate speech against Islam, and the importance of Muslim-Christian dialogue. Throughout our discussions, the family expressed a very balanced, if not sympathetic, point of view regarding the Palestinians and Muslims who sometimes encounter bad experiences in America, blaming it on the biased media that to them also included the New York Times.
John's family appeared to be informed also about Muslim practices and traditions. After dinner, I asked Jackson, who would leave to Morocco later to study for a semester, if I can have a place to pray at, and Lynnell said to me, "Don't you need to go to the bathroom and wash first?" meaning perform Wudu'. I told her I was already on Wudu', and so I went to the guest room, and with my compass, I knew the Kiblah.
And when it was time to leave, they packed the leftovers for me to have some halal food in the coming days.
"You've got a family interested in you, Assalamu Alaykum," John, the priest, told me before saying goodbye, which was an enough reason for me to accept their invitation to move in for almost a week after my fellowship ended, because I also was interested in them.
Up & Close
To the people, John was a priest who teaches world religions, biblical studies, ethics, and theology at Breck School, affiliated with the Episcopal Church. His online profile showed that he went to University of Detroit Jesuit High School, Haverford College, and Harvard Divinity School for education before being ordained in Breck's Chapel of the Holy Spirit (CHS) in 1990 to serve as head of the religion department, a post he still occupies, teaching 10th and 12th grades only (ages 16 & 18), while the other four members of his department teach other grades.
But to me, John was a nice host father; funny and easygoing, especially on his recumbent bicycle. No wonder he's so loved by his students, who take crazy photos with him on campus. He never looked like a priest to me, maybe because I always saw him in jeans and not in the priest dress code that easily identifies clergymen. Nor did he seem the "other," since he used to practice his Arabic with me, and I found him so knowledgeable about and respectful to my faith.
After all, the importance of faith was a common factor between us.
John already speaks French and Spanish fluently, and he can read a bit of Hebrew, Greek, and Latin and understand and speak some German, Dutch, and Italian. But why Arabic? "To understand the Qur'an and Hadith," John said, and also to order his favorite foods in Middle Eastern restaurants, he said smiling.
The Secret of Marriage
John performs many weddings to Christian couples, but he always sits with them for many sessions beforehand, to make sure they fully understand their responsibilities under the marriage bond and to divide tasks or obligations and even expenses they're expected to fulfill toward each other to avoid as many disagreements as possible.
"Although we allow divorce, it's not encouraged," John said. Why would a new couple let a priest know every personal detail in their new life? I wondered, but, John told me that while in Muslim countries, families of the new couple are engaged in this kind of talks — in the West, it's the priest who knows all these details, not the parents.
Common Prayer
Even when John does the eating prayer, he speaks in a way that I could relate to saying "Dear God," thanking him for the food and asking for his blessings and help to people in need and even to reward Muslims who were fasting Ramadan sacrificing their meals. I realized later that this is the kind of prayer they also do at his school.
"Generally, prayers at Breck are addressed to God, though on occasion, they are addressed to God through Jesus or to Jesus himself. This is within the usual variation among Christians in the US."
"Many of our prayers are addressed to God, by which we mean God's triune nature as we understand it. We want all kids to feel that they can pray to God in their own hearts and try to make the form of prayers helpful for that goal," John said.
Yet, for Muslim kids who go to Breck, John explains, they may not feel it's a real prayer, as they're not bowing or prostrating or even facing the Kiblah, but they appreciate that from time to time the school have a prayer written by a Muslim, or even read Al-Fatihah, which is a universal sentiment of yearning to be put on the straight path back to the One God.
Interfaith Dialogue
This understanding of faith engaged John in many interfaith dialogues. "Breck's religion department has recently gone to the Masjid (i.e., mosque) where Keith Ellison (the US Muslim Congressman from Minnesota) prays, where we had a tour and talked with both imams, stayed for Friday sermon and prayers, and were warmly welcomed by many people there", John said. He was also awarded by the Islamic Resource Group (IRG) in Minnesota for his role in interfaith dialogue.
In the Twin Cities area (Minneapolis–Saint Paul), John admires many local Muslim leaders, including Imam Makral El-Amin, from Masjid An-Nur; Abdisalam Adam, a Somali teacher who is President of the Islamic Civic Association of America; a woman Sufi teacher from Morocco; an American-born engineer whose parents are from Pakistan named Adeel Ahmed; and Dr. Fatma Reda, who is a psychiatrist and educator in town.
Having travelled to Ghana, Burkina Faso, and Niger, John had many Muslim friends, and now he's thinking to visit Egypt, which he sees as "an important country with an ancient civilization."
"I would love to go to some Coptic churches and pray there," John noted.
Yet, he never visited a mosque, believing it was somehow "haram" for him, as he was told that non-Muslims are not supposed to go into mosques, but certain mosques do not have this restriction.
When I asked him about the challenges he sees Muslims are facing today in America, he said that while Muslims must maintain their faith in God through the Qur'an and the traditions that support their spiritual lives, they also need to be Americans, which involves equality of sexes, tolerance of other religions, and participation in democracy. "They also have to deal with prejudice among ignorant people, who are numerous in our country," John added, feeling bad about the rising opposition to the NY Islamic Center, fueled by hate groups.
Last Sep. 11th, the South Minneapolis St. John's Episcopal Church, which John goes to, held a gathering to commemorate 9/11 victims and Minnesota fallen soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. In that gathering, John read passages from the Qur'an as a sign of respect for Muslims, who have come under an increasing drumbeat of attacks across the country.
He also talks to Jewish clergy, whom he frequently has lunch with, and his three sons went to a Jewish school. "A Rabbi has asked me recently to help advise a boy in his congregation who is thinking of giving up his religion because his parents just divorced, although he was raised Jewish," John noted.
Even among Christians themselves, John and Lynnell volunteered to give history classes in a simple, sometimes entertaining, debate between the couple at their Church on Sundays for almost four months, summing up the Christian history and different beliefs of Christian denominations. However, the classes angered some attending Catholics, who found the couple "not serious enough."
Hearing this criticism, I talked with Lynnell that day about the importance of conveying the message to the people whatever the way was — remembering how Amr Khaled, the famous Muslim preacher, and other young Islamic preachers were attacked when they first appeared because they aren't graduated from Al-Azhar, look so Western, and are "easygoing" with the religion.
A Muslim Born Again
Still, the most amazing story I heard was about an Iranian girl who took an elective class with John at Breck on "Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad." "She went back to Iran afterward and began attending prayers, to the amusement of her Iranian friends, who had all given up religion because it seemed to them that religion was a cynical mean of mind-control," John said.
However, the girl said that having been in America, and learning a lot about Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) and the Qur'an from John's class, she found that the free expression of religion, when you choose it for yourself, learn about it, and sincerely seek God, is very meaningful.
"Her father thinks it's very funny that an American priest made his daughter a Muslim again. I am very happy she found God, which is the purpose of religion, and she found it in a way that keeps family and national traditions," John thought.
Seeking Balance
When I got back to Egypt, John sent me an email asking if I can recommend a novel, film, or article for 8th-grade students (14 years old) on Islamic governance that would portray governance according to the principles of the Qur'an in a more positive, hopeful light.
The teacher of this class, given in a unit on Muslim countries and current issues on Muslim governance, religion, and Islamism, is looking for balance, and it's hard to find, John wrote.
At the house, I found a book at John's desk beside his reading chair that was about how extremist Muslims are allied with the religious right in America, working for the same cause but on opposite sides. Yet, hopefully, reasonable voices on both sides can counter this poisonous coalition.
Salam John. May God guide us all to the right path.
Say: "O people of the Book! come to common terms as between us and you: that we worship none but Allah; that we associate no partners with Him; that we erect not from among ourselves Lords and patrons other than Allah." If then they turn back say: "Bear witness that we are Muslims (bowing to Allah's will)."
Surah Ale-'Imran (The Family of 'Imran)
