Wa'alaikumussalam everyone.
salam alikom brother,
well, for starters you are not eating the soap, so why do you care?
As mentioned above, it's not an alcohol, so it's halal.
Next time just ask yourself, if I drank/ate large quantities of this [object in question] will I get intoxicated? If the answer is yes then avoid it, if the answer is no then go ahead and put [the object in question] to use. Take vinegar for example, you can never get intoxicated on that so it's halal.
The Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whatever makes one drunk in large amounts, a little of it is haraam" (Reported by the four muhadditheen and others; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 5530).
Haha, first off, I'm a sister. Innocent mistake on your behalf, that's OK.
In response to your question, it is a worriable situation, seeing that while you do not consume it, it does enter your body through lesser means (absorption upon application or something like that), and to be safer, it's better to take up an alternative instead.
I extracted the below from here (just a note: not from any particular madhab, I just follow the strongest opinion):
http://www.ummahnews.co.uk/article.php?id=86
"Ethyl Alcohol is absorbed through the skin. It then passes through the flesh into the blood vessels and finally mixes with the blood and circulates throughout the body. Once in the blood it is as good as if one has ingested through the mouth. As a small quantity of any intoxicant is haram therefore, as mentioned earlier, all liquid cosmetic products containing Ethyl Alcohol are prohibited. Other names given to synthetic Ethyl Alcohol are, Ethanol, Methylated Spirits (contains 5 percent Methyl Alcohol and 95 percent Ethyl Alcohol). Products containing these ingredients therefore will also be prohibited."
Secondly, I've limited knowledge of further chemistry. So whenever I see any ethyl/ethanol/ester,etc. I'm automatically wary, even if some alcohols are namesake and are not intoxicating, etc. etc.
Lastly, I can't imagine drinking lauryl ether sulfate and wondering if its intoxicating.
I'm sorry, that was a joke. Sorry, I only meant that I don't even know the basic chemistry behind it or what it is, therefore I can't imagine, nor do I want to rely on instincts, see ... I'd like someone to explain that bit.
so, wine vinegar or spirit vinegar which is a white colour is it ok? This is used in a lot of salad creams/dressings. I avoid it because of the name, but is it the same thing as the brown malt vinegar?
I'm not sure about this. You can try reseatching at the halal listing websites; the internet is loaded with creditable ones.
To add to that, don't know whether this answers your question; its from the above link:
Food Alcohol
However food containing this ingredient will not be permissible to consume whether it intoxicates or not, providing Halaal and pure food is freely available. If Halaal food is not freely available and this food containing alcohol, as one of its ingredient in some form or other, is the only food available and it is extremely difficult to abstain therefrom. Then in such circumstances both, Imaam Abu Hanifa and Imaam Abu Yusuf allow the consumption of such food providing it does not intoxicate. It should be remembered that this second type of alcohol if used as an ingredient in food and medicine is not permissible. The ruling is on the Fatwah of Imaam Muhammad but because of [Umoom Balwa, public predicament it] will be allowed following the ruling of the Shaikhain, Imaam Abu Hanifa and Imaam Abu Yusuf.
"Another solution to the problem can be to inquire from a specialist in the field of medicine and nutrition when alcohol, used in this manner, remains in its original state in the final product or undergoes significant chemical changes causing it to lose its original properties. If it is transformed after the process not remaining as alcohol then all the Imaams agree to it’s usage and consumption, citing the case where wine turns into vinegar losing all its former properties thus making it permissible for Muslims because of the change to the original properties of wine."