tic_tac_toe
Junior Member
:salam2:
In Islam the burden of responsibility is upon the soul so the sin is upon the person no matter what the circumstances are.
POLYGAMY In Islam
- Thread starter sandra canada
- Start date
:salam2:
In Islam the burden of responsibility is upon the soul so the sin is upon the person no matter what the circumstances are.
Assalaam alaikum,
So, my question more directly is this: In these times our brothers are fully aware that they can marry up to four wives. Knowledge of the crisis of the number of single sisters has reached them. Are they going to be Judged for ignoring the reality of the times? Or is this simply a case of InshaAllah. ( the response of those who have to those who do not).
So, my question more directly is this: In these times our brothers are fully aware that they can marry up to four wives. Knowledge of the crisis of the number of single sisters has reached them. Are they going to be Judged for ignoring the reality of the times? Or is this simply a case of InshaAllah. ( the response of those who have to those who do not).
Abd_Al_Hadi
لبيك يا الله
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with having multiple wives. The problem, however, occurs when the man fails to provide equally for his wives. Sometimes, the man neglects his first wife and focuses on his new bride, and other times the man gives everything to his first wife and treats his new wife as an object for his personal pleasures. Pathetic.
I know a few sisters here in the states who are miserable because those pigs (I would never call them men!) come to the states and prey on revert sisters who just want a new Islamic life. They trick them into marriage and give them empty hopes. Those pigs have wives back home, but use those sisters for their sexual pleasures. Then they go back to their countries and the sisters never hear from them again.
I know a few sisters here in the states who are miserable because those pigs (I would never call them men!) come to the states and prey on revert sisters who just want a new Islamic life. They trick them into marriage and give them empty hopes. Those pigs have wives back home, but use those sisters for their sexual pleasures. Then they go back to their countries and the sisters never hear from them again.
uniqueskates
Rabbe Zidni Illma
AssalaamuAlaikum..
Been reading the whole thread, since a long time.. Everybody made the discussion worth reading and irresistable..
Alhamdulilah..
There is nothing wrong in having multiple wives, as Islam allows it and rather tells us to do it.. Because some day in future the ratio of men to women is going to be 1:50 [Signs of judgement day nearing.. If am wrong do correct me!!].
With the current inflation of the market[atleast in my country] I think the idea of having a second/third/fourth wife is near to impossible, because even we have obligations to taking care of our parents, first wife and kids. Frankly, surviving with principles in the present day world has become really tough. From top to the bottom level, there is corruption, and earning an income honestly is something pretty tough.
It's difficult to deliver justice to all the wives. And personally - handling one lady itself is hmmm exhausting, I wonder what would happen if there are two or three.. Hats off to men who do justice and still follow polygamy.. I guess I will take tuitions from them. InshaAllah
We are not open-minded to accept it.. Stuck with our social & cultural stigma and not willing to break them and broaden our horizon, What people will think? What my kids will think?[Brother strive-may-i mentioned it] What society will think? What my parents will say? the list goes on..
Well, That's disgusting to hear it. This is how people misuse Polygamy. "Idiotas". I guess, thats what brother TTT, Abd_Al_Hadi want to say.
Finally, There are Muslims who want to have multiple wives, but are not able too.. And there are also disgusting ppl who do polygamy just for their pleasure and ruin the other person's life.. In the end.. the women are at the loss.
Peace
Been reading the whole thread, since a long time.. Everybody made the discussion worth reading and irresistable..
Alhamdulilah..There is nothing wrong in having multiple wives, as Islam allows it and rather tells us to do it.. Because some day in future the ratio of men to women is going to be 1:50 [Signs of judgement day nearing.. If am wrong do correct me!!].
With the current inflation of the market[atleast in my country] I think the idea of having a second/third/fourth wife is near to impossible, because even we have obligations to taking care of our parents, first wife and kids. Frankly, surviving with principles in the present day world has become really tough. From top to the bottom level, there is corruption, and earning an income honestly is something pretty tough.
It's difficult to deliver justice to all the wives. And personally - handling one lady itself is hmmm exhausting, I wonder what would happen if there are two or three.. Hats off to men who do justice and still follow polygamy.. I guess I will take tuitions from them. InshaAllah
We are not open-minded to accept it.. Stuck with our social & cultural stigma and not willing to break them and broaden our horizon, What people will think? What my kids will think?[Brother strive-may-i mentioned it] What society will think? What my parents will say? the list goes on..
Well, That's disgusting to hear it. This is how people misuse Polygamy. "Idiotas". I guess, thats what brother TTT, Abd_Al_Hadi want to say.
Finally, There are Muslims who want to have multiple wives, but are not able too.. And there are also disgusting ppl who do polygamy just for their pleasure and ruin the other person's life.. In the end.. the women are at the loss.
Peace
tic_tac_toe
Junior Member
:salam2:
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity
:mashallah: I must say
to all my brothers and sisters to permit this humble servant of :Allah: to articulate his broken and worthless thoughts and to continue to treat me with courtesy, respect and dignity. There are many answers to queries spread across this thread and firstly we should talk about a simile of a town where many poor and needy people reside amongst a few rich Muslims. These rich Muslims whom :Allah: has blessed pay their Zakaah and also follow the Sunnah and give charity and try to assist their neighbours as best as they can and yet poverty and destitution remains . Does Islam require them to give all their wealth in charity to remedy the existing situation?
Off course not! We can give Dawah to them to encourage them to donate more but we must also note that they are not in any “obligation” to assist and whatever remains after they have fulfilled their obligations is their property.
Similarly, to marry (even once) is Sunnah! A very important Sunnah, an integral Sunnah, an essential Sunnah, nevertheless Sunnah and not an obligation (on the Ummah as a whole) it may become necessary upon a person who has the wealth and means to protect his chastity but a collective judgement call cannot be issued as this is overstepping our authority and issuing a ruling which goes above and beyond what Allah and His Rasool :saw2: have established.
So Polygyny is permissible and an effective solution to the problems of many in the Ummah but it can’t be imposed on people because we can’t impose what Allah and His Rasool :saw2: haven’t imposed and we can’t force brothers to practice something about which Allah and His Rasool :saw2: have given them a choice, about
Now to the issue of single Sisters.
We must understand that this life is a test for us and the world is like a prison and all of us have different tests. Some have sickness, some have poverty, some have disabilities, some have loneliness, some have broken relationships, some have no children whole others have disobedient children etc and each of us is facing our own test rather, let me say our unique “ticket to Jannah”.
We must appreciate and Thank the people who assist us with our test but ultimately its our test and that’s the point! If the entire world and whatever it contains decides to make our test harder so be it because it doesn’t (or shouldn’t) distract or derail us from our goal which is the pleasure of :Allah: but ultimately we should remember two facts:
Firstly, Allah is Merciful so Allah has our best interest at heart
Secondly, the test CANNOT reach beyond our capacity of endurance so no matter how hard it seems (or feels) it is within us to be patient and turn towards Allah
Verily, He is our Rabb.
Assalaam alaikum,
Yes, we can not change the heart of anyone.
And you are correct thus we read the last two ayats of Sura Baraqah.
But, can we not educate people (dawah) on the economic needs of sisters at this time.
Help me out here, too. Why is there a mindset that having more than one wife is too costly?
And yes Brother Abd Al Hadi, what some brothers do to the revert sisters is a shame. But, that is another topic.
( I appreciate the way this thread has developed)
Yes, we can not change the heart of anyone.
And you are correct thus we read the last two ayats of Sura Baraqah.
But, can we not educate people (dawah) on the economic needs of sisters at this time.
Help me out here, too. Why is there a mindset that having more than one wife is too costly?
And yes Brother Abd Al Hadi, what some brothers do to the revert sisters is a shame. But, that is another topic.
( I appreciate the way this thread has developed)
strive-may-i
Junior Member
Hope the below reply clarifies
:salam2:
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity
:mashallah: I must say
There are many answers to queries spread across this thread and firstly we should talk about a simile of a town where many poor and needy people reside amongst a few rich Muslims. These rich Muslims whom :Allah: has blessed pay their Zakaah and also follow the Sunnah and give charity and try to assist their neighbours as best as they can and yet poverty and destitution remains . Does Islam require them to give all their wealth in charity to remedy the existing situation?
Off course not! We can give Dawah to them to encourage them to donate more but we must also note that they are not in any “obligation” to assist and whatever remains after they have fulfilled their obligations is their property.
Similarly, to marry (even once) is Sunnah! A very important Sunnah, an integral Sunnah, an essential Sunnah, nevertheless Sunnah and not an obligation (on the Ummah as a whole) it may become necessary upon a person who has the wealth and means to protect his chastity but a collective judgement call cannot be issued as this is overstepping our authority and issuing a ruling which goes above and beyond what Allah and His Rasool :saw2: have established.
So Polygyny is permissible and an effective solution to the problems of many in the Ummah but it can’t be imposed on people because we can’t impose what Allah and His Rasool :saw2: haven’t imposed and we can’t force brothers to practice something about which Allah and His Rasool :saw2: have given them a choice, about
Now to the issue of single Sisters.
We must understand that this life is a test for us and the world is like a prison and all of us have different tests. Some have sickness, some have poverty, some have disabilities, some have loneliness, some have broken relationships, some have no children whole others have disobedient children etc and each of us is facing our own test rather, let me say our unique “ticket to Jannah”.
We must appreciate and Thank the people who assist us with our test but ultimately its our test and that’s the point! If the entire world and whatever it contains decides to make our test harder so be it because it doesn’t (or shouldn’t) distract or derail us from our goal which is the pleasure of :Allah: but ultimately we should remember two facts:
Firstly, Allah is Merciful so Allah has our best interest at heart
Secondly, the test CANNOT reach beyond our capacity of endurance so no matter how hard it seems (or feels) it is within us to be patient and turn towards Allah
Verily, He is our Rabb.
When we say its Sunnah, it means, that its recommened. Whats recommended is to marriage one. Be just. And the details of how to approach marriage is codefied:
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.[Quran 4:3]
Hard Rock Moslem
I'm your brother
Wow, we are still not finished with this topic? Great, let's talk about it then. One of masjid committee member told me there are more than a dozen widowed ladies looking for husband, he asked whether I would take one as my..hmmm.. 2nd wife. Honestly two things stopping me.. first I can't afford economically. 2nd, is not that I'm afraid of my wife, I love her, but in this matter she is not afraid of me to protest.. actually, I have guilt inside me after say no. It is not about desire, I said before every men naturally will love polygamy, but these women deserve new life.. it must go on for them. These are masjid going women, otherwise how the masjid knowns about them? Some of them are single mothers and poor. Doing multiple odd jobs.. so why not I take one of them.. I'm not ready and can't afford. So why I feel guilt inside me? In case, one of this woman commit sin... you know what I mean. May Allah protect them.. will Allah question me?
tic_tac_toe
Junior Member
:salam2:
I understand where you are coming from, now.
Many brothers and sisters don't understand the concept of Adl (Justice) and confuse it with economic (financial) equity.
Equity between wives has to be maintained in terms of spending time, giving gifts and traveling and this means that equal time has to be given to each, turns have to be taken when traveling with them (or draw lots) and gifts have to given to each.
As far as maintenance (accommodation) is concerned then they have to be maintained but not necessarily equally e.g. if 1st wife may have a house while the other has a flat as long as each have privacy that comes under the banner of Adl (Justice) according to my understanding.
Over all, finances have the least to do with Polygyny and as long as both wives are maintained adequately and sufficiently that's enough and satisfactory. Lastly, a wife can also waive some of her rights and that's also acceptable in Islam so overall Polygyny isn't too difficult for those who want to even in our day and age.
Hard Rock Moslem
I'm your brother
You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Q, 4:129]
In fact the above verse is not talking about fairness in financial equity but love and feelings. If first wife is 4o years old and 2nd wife is sweet 21 years old, surely the younger one will receive more attention than the older wife. This is what I learned in tafseer classes. However, personally I would want to provide fair if not equal maintenance to all my 'spouses'. Apart from economic reason it will be unlikely I will take another one because I know it will break my wife's heart. She followed me and reverted with me when the whole family was fiercely against our decision.
In fact the above verse is not talking about fairness in financial equity but love and feelings. If first wife is 4o years old and 2nd wife is sweet 21 years old, surely the younger one will receive more attention than the older wife. This is what I learned in tafseer classes. However, personally I would want to provide fair if not equal maintenance to all my 'spouses'. Apart from economic reason it will be unlikely I will take another one because I know it will break my wife's heart. She followed me and reverted with me when the whole family was fiercely against our decision.
Assalaam alaikum,
Brother Hard Rock Muslim,
You have introduced another element that needs discussion.
I fail to understand the sense of ownership that many sisters feel they have over the lives of their husbands. How can her heart be broken? What people fail to understand is lives are individual. We can not master the lives of others. A wife does not own a husband and vise versa.
As for a more humorous reply...men love younger women; they are simpler to deal with; they are chatty and silly; and cheap to entertain. But, there comes a time when a man needs something deeper; that silent moment.
You can give a twenty year old a dollar burger and she is happy; you can give her a rhinestone ring and she is delighted...not so with an older woman.
Brother Tic Tac Toe,
Yes, as you can see by your response we know little about polygamy. We get scared. We think of bad Hollywood movies portraying fat Arab men in tents with giggling wives. We do not know the reasons why Allah subhana wa taala has permitted polygamy. And we need to be educated on why this does not oppress women.
Brother Hard Rock Muslim,
You have introduced another element that needs discussion.
I fail to understand the sense of ownership that many sisters feel they have over the lives of their husbands. How can her heart be broken? What people fail to understand is lives are individual. We can not master the lives of others. A wife does not own a husband and vise versa.
As for a more humorous reply...men love younger women; they are simpler to deal with; they are chatty and silly; and cheap to entertain. But, there comes a time when a man needs something deeper; that silent moment.
You can give a twenty year old a dollar burger and she is happy; you can give her a rhinestone ring and she is delighted...not so with an older woman.
Brother Tic Tac Toe,
Yes, as you can see by your response we know little about polygamy. We get scared. We think of bad Hollywood movies portraying fat Arab men in tents with giggling wives. We do not know the reasons why Allah subhana wa taala has permitted polygamy. And we need to be educated on why this does not oppress women.
strive-may-i
Junior Member
Assalaamu Alaikum
In Islam, Marriage can be Monogamy/Polygamy( polygyny to be specific). Marriage is Heterosexual. When one is not capable or independent then marriage is not recommended. Similarly , polygamy is not recommended to all and sundry. What we find in Quran and Sunnah is clear boundaries,rules and examples of conduct, that covers the minute details of marriage. When followed in spirit to the word, a happy marriage results.
Here are the verses related to the topic of thread
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.[Quran 4:3]
But whoever earns an offense or a sin and then blames it on an innocent [person] has taken upon himself a slander and manifest sin.[Qur'an 4:127]
And they request from you, [O Muhammad], a [legal] ruling concerning women. Say, " Allah gives you a ruling about them and [about] what has been recited to you in the Book concerning the orphan girls to whom you do not give what is decreed for them - and [yet] you desire to marry them - and concerning the oppressed among children and that you maintain for orphans [their rights] in justice." And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allah is ever Knowing of it.[Qur'an 4:127]
And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted. [Qur'an 4:128]
And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. [Qur'an 4:129]
But if they separate [by divorce], Allah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise. [Qur'an 4:130]
From above and world around , am deriving the following:
"Cant do justice to even one"
- Dont marry, become fit and find a suitable one to marry.
"Can try and do justice one"
- Marry a suitable one
"Feel 'super just' and have opinion"
- First marry one.
"married one, but Not just"
- Fix it. Marriage counselling. Or when demanded for divorce, don't violate. Avoid court/ revenge please!
"divorced/ widowed, want one"
- Find suitable, marry one, start fresh, be a just husband, dont carry old baggage or bad experience.
"Married one, Feel super just"
- "Married and no kids", then its time
- "Have kids, got more time", try adopting orphan kids.
- Still got more in you? Volunteer for a community/social cause.
"Married one, and content"
- Alhamdulillaah. If this is your limit. Be happy you found it. Thank Almighty and your wife( and kids)
"Divorced/widowed, dont want any more"
- If a suitable partner turns up, dont be adamant, life has a way. Time heals.
[Above order covers up most of 'men'kind.]
"Not just but want more"
- Not a good sign. "marriage counselling recommended". Beware of injustice and sins in this phase. Forget marrying second one, you are in risk of loosing everything, both in here and hereafter
"Married one, feel super just, want one more"
- Apart from self probing questions on need (yours v/s prospective), ask wife if she thinks you are sane.
- You and wife, are on your own, beware of the calamities, if it fails.
- If its basis is lust and executed by cheating; you will be held responsible for misuse, the cascading negative effect on wife/children.
"Practising polygyny, wifes are happy"
- Very few belong to this category. Such families [ie combo of husband and wifes] are rare (and not necessarily elite). Each is tested to his/ her capacity. Continue to thank Allah. Surely, Lust is not the basis of this family (just like lust is not basis of a happy monogamous family)
In all this, the important point to remember is
Married and wife(s) complain of injustice... Her rights and valid wishes cannot be overlooked. The state (or society) can intervene. And the judgement day, every action will be questioned.
In Islam, Marriage can be Monogamy/Polygamy( polygyny to be specific). Marriage is Heterosexual. When one is not capable or independent then marriage is not recommended. Similarly , polygamy is not recommended to all and sundry. What we find in Quran and Sunnah is clear boundaries,rules and examples of conduct, that covers the minute details of marriage. When followed in spirit to the word, a happy marriage results.
Here are the verses related to the topic of thread
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.[Quran 4:3]
But whoever earns an offense or a sin and then blames it on an innocent [person] has taken upon himself a slander and manifest sin.[Qur'an 4:127]
And they request from you, [O Muhammad], a [legal] ruling concerning women. Say, " Allah gives you a ruling about them and [about] what has been recited to you in the Book concerning the orphan girls to whom you do not give what is decreed for them - and [yet] you desire to marry them - and concerning the oppressed among children and that you maintain for orphans [their rights] in justice." And whatever you do of good - indeed, Allah is ever Knowing of it.[Qur'an 4:127]
And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted. [Qur'an 4:128]
And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. [Qur'an 4:129]
But if they separate [by divorce], Allah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise. [Qur'an 4:130]
From above and world around , am deriving the following:
"Cant do justice to even one"
- Dont marry, become fit and find a suitable one to marry.
"Can try and do justice one"
- Marry a suitable one
"Feel 'super just' and have opinion"
- First marry one.
"married one, but Not just"
- Fix it. Marriage counselling. Or when demanded for divorce, don't violate. Avoid court/ revenge please!
"divorced/ widowed, want one"
- Find suitable, marry one, start fresh, be a just husband, dont carry old baggage or bad experience.
"Married one, Feel super just"
- "Married and no kids", then its time
- "Have kids, got more time", try adopting orphan kids.
- Still got more in you? Volunteer for a community/social cause.
"Married one, and content"
- Alhamdulillaah. If this is your limit. Be happy you found it. Thank Almighty and your wife( and kids)
"Divorced/widowed, dont want any more"
- If a suitable partner turns up, dont be adamant, life has a way. Time heals.
[Above order covers up most of 'men'kind.]
"Not just but want more"
- Not a good sign. "marriage counselling recommended". Beware of injustice and sins in this phase. Forget marrying second one, you are in risk of loosing everything, both in here and hereafter
"Married one, feel super just, want one more"
- Apart from self probing questions on need (yours v/s prospective), ask wife if she thinks you are sane.
- You and wife, are on your own, beware of the calamities, if it fails.
- If its basis is lust and executed by cheating; you will be held responsible for misuse, the cascading negative effect on wife/children.
"Practising polygyny, wifes are happy"
- Very few belong to this category. Such families [ie combo of husband and wifes] are rare (and not necessarily elite). Each is tested to his/ her capacity. Continue to thank Allah. Surely, Lust is not the basis of this family (just like lust is not basis of a happy monogamous family)
In all this, the important point to remember is
Married and wife(s) complain of injustice... Her rights and valid wishes cannot be overlooked. The state (or society) can intervene. And the judgement day, every action will be questioned.
tic_tac_toe
Junior Member
قد روي عن عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه أنه جاءه رجل يريد تطليق امرأته ، فلما سأله عمر عن السبب : قال : إنه لا يحبها ! فردَّ عليه عمر رضي الله عنه : وهل لا تُبنى البيوت إلا على الحب ؟ فأين الرعاية وأين التذمم؟
أورده في كنز العمال
أورده في كنز العمال
It was narrated that a man consulted ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab, may God be pleased with him, about divorcing his wife and ‘Umar said to him: “Do not do so.”
“I do not love her,” the man argued.
‘Umar may Allah be pleased with him said, “Are families built only on love? Where is, then, mutual care and the maintenance of rights and duties?”
islamdonlyway
Junior Member
walikumsalam.
I totally agree with brother uniqueskates on the issue of finance at this time of the market. I mean, you see many relationships (muslim/non muslim community) breaking up due to financial hardship. The statistics is just horrifying, and is a portrayal of how society is currently running. Imagine you have your parents, wife and kids to feed/shelter and on top of that a house to run (very expensive in here, UK). This is a massive struggle in it self, and as i said before, it's breaking up many families in front of your eyes. If people cant even handle that how are we expected to handle another wife/family? its unimaginable.
People are loosing their jobs left/right and center and struggling to feed their own family, then how can we contemplate on having another wife/family, its just not realistic, well in certain western countries. It seems to me as if the brothers are the 'issue' here, but i also see sisters being an 'issue' aswell, the reason being is, many sisters don't accept the reality of their husband being shared with other wife's. Seriously, even if they are educated on the benefits of it, but yet there seems to be this barrier that doesn't want to accept it. I can even do a local survey, and believe me at-least 98% of the sisters will say 'no' to polygamy.
Allah knows best, but that's just my opinion on what i am witnessing in my community.
I totally agree with brother uniqueskates on the issue of finance at this time of the market. I mean, you see many relationships (muslim/non muslim community) breaking up due to financial hardship. The statistics is just horrifying, and is a portrayal of how society is currently running. Imagine you have your parents, wife and kids to feed/shelter and on top of that a house to run (very expensive in here, UK). This is a massive struggle in it self, and as i said before, it's breaking up many families in front of your eyes. If people cant even handle that how are we expected to handle another wife/family? its unimaginable.
People are loosing their jobs left/right and center and struggling to feed their own family, then how can we contemplate on having another wife/family, its just not realistic, well in certain western countries. It seems to me as if the brothers are the 'issue' here, but i also see sisters being an 'issue' aswell, the reason being is, many sisters don't accept the reality of their husband being shared with other wife's. Seriously, even if they are educated on the benefits of it, but yet there seems to be this barrier that doesn't want to accept it. I can even do a local survey, and believe me at-least 98% of the sisters will say 'no' to polygamy.
Allah knows best, but that's just my opinion on what i am witnessing in my community.
tic_tac_toe
Junior Member
Its not just about finances and equal time etc because many Sisters will waive their rights and be contend with little but do you honestly think that many men can deal with another woman in their lives?
Personally even I get that shallow and come across a younger, pretty bubbly Sister as Aapa is eluding to, I will give her wide berth to be honest. She can take her bubliness to someone else. It isn't about love or romance either because anyone who has been in a relationship for 1 day knows that its ridiculous to expect roses and chocolates all the time.
A vast number of Muslim Sisters don't really have any problems with Polygyny wives or single ones so its ridiculous to stereotype and mock Muslim women about this as they submit to Qur'aan & Sunnah equally as we do. Its natural to feel hurt and disappointed and "inadequate" about husband taking another woman but they do submit to Qur'aan & Sunnah
Ask those brothers who have been divorced from a woman they loved and ask them how they feel when they see her with another man?
So our Muslim Sisters naturally have some feelings but we should get off their back to be honest!
Personally even I get that shallow and come across a younger, pretty bubbly Sister as Aapa is eluding to, I will give her wide berth to be honest. She can take her bubliness to someone else. It isn't about love or romance either because anyone who has been in a relationship for 1 day knows that its ridiculous to expect roses and chocolates all the time.
A vast number of Muslim Sisters don't really have any problems with Polygyny wives or single ones so its ridiculous to stereotype and mock Muslim women about this as they submit to Qur'aan & Sunnah equally as we do. Its natural to feel hurt and disappointed and "inadequate" about husband taking another woman but they do submit to Qur'aan & Sunnah
Ask those brothers who have been divorced from a woman they loved and ask them how they feel when they see her with another man?
So our Muslim Sisters naturally have some feelings but we should get off their back to be honest!
Assalaam alaikum,
But time is a wonderful friend. With the passage of time when you see an ex-husband with a new wife you smile.
Thus, it seems sisters really do not object to polygamy. There is nothing in Islam that states it is oppressive to women. And it is a choice.
Brother Tic tac toe,
We, sisters can be equally shallow..after all a woman does not have to marry a man her own age. She has the choice of marrying younger or older. And if they do not please her she can divorce.
But time is a wonderful friend. With the passage of time when you see an ex-husband with a new wife you smile.
Thus, it seems sisters really do not object to polygamy. There is nothing in Islam that states it is oppressive to women. And it is a choice.
Brother Tic tac toe,
We, sisters can be equally shallow..after all a woman does not have to marry a man her own age. She has the choice of marrying younger or older. And if they do not please her she can divorce.
Hard Rock Moslem
I'm your brother
I'm going to introduce another "new element" today. Actually sister, polygamy and polyandry are not permissible in Islam. Only polyginy is permissible. Maybe the subject matter need to be corrected, but since generally all understand what we are talking about here hence it may remain. Regarding why women heart is broken, I'm not sure. Only women can answer that. Recently a friend of mine married a girl, very young girl. He not only broke his wife's heart she also fall sick and every now and then she is in the hospital for treatment. She is not really old, perhaps below the age of 48. Yes, it can be humorous, but it is the fact. Younger child will normally get more attention from the parents compared to the elder one, likewise a young wife will receive more attention from the husband. This is not new element, not what I say this is what the tafseer of the scholars say. It makes sense to me.
Assalaam alaikum,
The reason that a woman would have a broken heart is because she chooses to have a broken heart. It is that simple. Poor things.
It is not that they are widows, who have respect in the communities nor is that they are divorcees who are simply shunned by the sisters. Can these sisters even think of what others have to bear. No, they want to have a broken heart, instead.
How about sharing your heart with those that are in need. Why not take the time and help the ill, educate children, start a group, learn your faith. Start a blood drive, open a food pantry, cook for the elderly. Give back as life has been good to you.
The reason that a woman would have a broken heart is because she chooses to have a broken heart. It is that simple. Poor things.
It is not that they are widows, who have respect in the communities nor is that they are divorcees who are simply shunned by the sisters. Can these sisters even think of what others have to bear. No, they want to have a broken heart, instead.
How about sharing your heart with those that are in need. Why not take the time and help the ill, educate children, start a group, learn your faith. Start a blood drive, open a food pantry, cook for the elderly. Give back as life has been good to you.