Do you have hard time being nice to your parents ?

Hopetogoparadis

Junior Member
Assalam alakum

Do you have hard time, trying to be nice to parents and it feels like its hard to ''shower your mercy wings'' over them for different reasons ? Maybe you dont have same ideas, views about life, maybe they dont let you do things you want or maybe something else happens between you and them, so this cause you to have hard time being sooo nice to them like you were before when you was younger. Because when you were younger you didnt care many things in life so you were just hugging your parents, kissing, over and over again but now things changed, you have your life, you have your ideas and things you wanna do, but parents are not in same idea with you and if you dont do what they tell you to do, you may gain their discontent and this can lead you to hell (Allah knows best)...

Anyone who know what i am talking about ? And if you do have such situation at house, what you do ? Do you just try not to get angry or upset with them no matter what even though you cant be like before (hugging them, kissing them, always loving them) ?
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
wa alaikim alsalam

We muslems need to work hard on ourselves , we need to control our emotions and give people their rights. Islam makes it a great work doing good to parents ......any kind of good....... any parents . We should try not to let our differences stop us from being nice and friendly .....we need to train ourselves to obey Allah in anyhow including being friendly and kind all the time with all people . I know it is not easy ....but we need to train ourselves .
 

Jsmih

Junior Member
Subhan Allah.

- We love our kidz and hate our parents.
- We take our kidz as blessings and take our parents as burden.

But the Lord, our Creator, the Merciful thinks very differently. He (swt) says,

- Your kidz are fitna (trial) for you. Means, kidz are going to take you in Hell.
- Your parents are blessings for you. Means, parents are going to take you in Paradise.

Conclusion:

We are worried about our kidz.
Allah (swt) is worried about our parents.
 

Hassan

Laa ilaha ilaa Allah
Staff member
Anyone who know what i am talking about ? And if you do have such situation at house, what you do ?

Wa alaikum asalaam.

Yes, astaghfirullah, especially when tired, or something else is causing a bad mood. Things are improving, alhamdulillah, but if words get out of hand, I leave the room to calm down, then go back and at least apologise, explaining why I became angry. Then we talk some.

InshaAllah we all learn to be kinder to our parents, they are blessings to us.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Excellent.

Subhan Allah.

- We love our kidz and hate our parents.
- We take our kidz as blessings and take our parents as burden.

But the Lord, our Creator, the Merciful thinks very differently. He (swt) says,

- Your kidz are fitna (trial) for you. Means, kidz are going to take you in Hell.
- Your parents are blessings for you. Means, parents are going to take you in Paradise.

Conclusion:

We are worried about our kidz.
Allah (swt) is worried about our parents.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Walaikum Ssalaam,

Broher Jsmih, has pointed it out.

Though we dont fully connect with what 'you are talking about', we can from far see what you have become. Stop seeing parents as the blockers of your dream. They want you to marry and have a dozen kids , if you can afford it( or atleast they might wish 6 grandkids ).

They do want you to become independent, strong and capable man who will make them proud, someday. You are starting a big argument about your next five year plan, and forgetting to stay on course and complete your current five year plan. 3 years before what was your plans? Did it drastically change? If yes, what brought the change? So you could not foresee the change when you were 15, now are you saying you can foresee the change when you are 30?

Its just that you are not yet there. You have to make peace. its simple. Dont harm yourself with overworked thoughts. Dont pop a reaction, but turn reflective. Keep aside the thought of your difference in opinion, and look in their eyes, they still love you much. Go hug them. Put your head in your mothers lap, there is so much happiness in it.

Sometimes, we do react. But Almight has bestowed each of us with a faculty that lets us - "seek forgiveness and repentance".

Make peace.

Assalam alakum

Do you have hard time, trying to be nice to parents and it feels like its hard to ''shower your mercy wings'' over them for different reasons ? Maybe you dont have same ideas, views about life, maybe they dont let you do things you want or maybe something else happens between you and them, so this cause you to have hard time being sooo nice to them like you were before when you was younger. Because when you were younger you didnt care many things in life so you were just hugging your parents, kissing, over and over again but now things changed, you have your life, you have your ideas and things you wanna do, but parents are not in same idea with you and if you dont do what they tell you to do, you may gain their discontent and this can lead you to hell (Allah knows best)...

Anyone who know what i am talking about ? And if you do have such situation at house, what you do ? Do you just try not to get angry or upset with them no matter what even though you cant be like before (hugging them, kissing them, always loving them) ?
 

Pylo

New Member
I'm having hard time with them for a long long time.
They were never okay with the situation that i became a practicing muslim, perform salat, try to stick close to sunnah and Qur'an.

The things gone worse and worse. They definetly do not accept, tolerate the fact that i do not sit with them or with their guests if alcohol is involved. They find it to be it to be disrespect towards themselves when i do not sit to a table that has alcohol on it.

They find in "unacceptable in the modern world" that i do not shake hands with women.

They claim " I am ruining my life" by my actions.

It is disturbing for them when i read Qur'an or books about religion.

My beard became their obsession.

And so and so...My mother, is weeping all the time saying " I can't know the child i raised". They force me to choose between them or the sunnah.

Well, they also stated that we cannot live together if i go on this way. That i either have to accommodate with them, or...well i don't know..

For me, i must suit and organize my life according to Islam. As for them, i must suit and organize Islam according to my life.

Yeah, we are in absolutetly in superb terms with them. And i alsways see them very sad with me, as i am very sad too...I'm stuck, can't go back or forward. I am afraid from Allah to make my mother cry. But i cannot carry out what she wants from me. And i can't see a way that we can reach a common ground since both sides are pretty stubborn. How can i not be stubborn, thinking they want me to shake hands with women, sit to a table where there is alcohol, get a job that may include haram.

Haha, i pretty much poured my heart out here
 

Hopetogoparadis

Junior Member
Pylo bro:

You made me feel that actually i am in a better situation though i dont wanna make you feel sad for yourself and therefore i need to say i also heard people who became Muslim and had harder lives than you and because of their age they dont have much authority like we have, you know. But inshallah you all can keep going on this way bro and thanks for telling me your story as it might give strenght
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Pylo bro:

You made me feel that actually i am in a better situation though i dont wanna make you feel sad for yourself and therefore i need to say i also heard people who became Muslim and had harder lives than you and because of their age they dont have much authority like we have, you know. But inshallah you all can keep going on this way bro and thanks for telling me your story as it might give strenght

By comparison, we usually reduce the scope of changes we can bring in ourselves... !
 

uniqueskates

Rabbe Zidni Illma
I'm having hard time with them for a long long time.
They were never okay with the situation that i became a practicing muslim, perform salat, try to stick close to sunnah and Qur'an.

The things gone worse and worse. They definetly do not accept, tolerate the fact that i do not sit with them or with their guests if alcohol is involved. They find it to be it to be disrespect towards themselves when i do not sit to a table that has alcohol on it.

They find in "unacceptable in the modern world" that i do not shake hands with women.

They claim " I am ruining my life" by my actions.

It is disturbing for them when i read Qur'an or books about religion.

My beard became their obsession.

And so and so...My mother, is weeping all the time saying " I can't know the child i raised". They force me to choose between them or the sunnah.

Well, they also stated that we cannot live together if i go on this way. That i either have to accommodate with them, or...well i don't know..

For me, i must suit and organize my life according to Islam. As for them, i must suit and organize Islam according to my life.

Yeah, we are in absolutetly in superb terms with them. And i alsways see them very sad with me, as i am very sad too...I'm stuck, can't go back or forward. I am afraid from Allah to make my mother cry. But i cannot carry out what she wants from me. And i can't see a way that we can reach a common ground since both sides are pretty stubborn. How can i not be stubborn, thinking they want me to shake hands with women, sit to a table where there is alcohol, get a job that may include haram.

Haha, i pretty much poured my heart out here

AssalaamuAlaikum.

And I thought I was alone. Almost the same situation brother. Torn between my belief/faith and my lovely parents. They want me to leave Islam. They want me to follow and believe what they do. They are idol-worshippers. And they don't want to change their train of thoughts. Only thing I do is pray, pray to Allah(SWT). Hoping some day HE(SWT) will do what HE(SWT) always does. Miracles.!!
*Hugs brother* :)
 

Pylo

New Member
AssalaamuAlaikum.

And I thought I was alone. Almost the same situation brother. Torn between my belief/faith and my lovely parents. They want me to leave Islam. They want me to follow and believe what they do. They are idol-worshippers. And they don't want to change their train of thoughts. Only thing I do is pray, pray to Allah(SWT). Hoping some day HE(SWT) will do what HE(SWT) always does. Miracles.!!
*Hugs brother* :)

Shukran jazeelan

We are never alone. Actually it was sahaba to live these problems with their families in the first place. Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) for example. He was prisoned by his mother, beaten to death by his uncles. Finally when He (r.a.) made his escape to Messenger of Allah(pbuh), He (r.a.) was only wearing two pieces of cloth that He could find before His escape, when He used to be the richest, the most handsome.
His (r.a.) situation made Rasulullah (pbuh) cry.

Can we do that, like Him, Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) ? He did a very big thing...But a very hard thing. Well, it's the reason why we tell each other His story now. May Allah make us meet Him(r.a.) in Jannah.
 

uniqueskates

Rabbe Zidni Illma
Shukran jazeelan

We are never alone. Actually it was sahaba to live these problems with their families in the first place. Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) for example. He was prisoned by his mother, beaten to death by his uncles. Finally when He (r.a.) made his escape to Messenger of Allah(pbuh), He (r.a.) was only wearing two pieces of cloth that He could find before His escape, when He used to be the richest, the most handsome.
His (r.a.) situation made Rasulullah (pbuh) cry.

Can we do that, like Him, Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) ? He did a very big thing...But a very hard thing. Well, it's the reason why we tell each other His story now. May Allah make us meet Him(r.a.) in Jannah.

Shukran jazeelan

We are never alone. Actually it was sahaba to live these problems with their families in the first place. Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) for example. He was prisoned by his mother, beaten to death by his uncles. Finally when He (r.a.) made his escape to Messenger of Allah(pbuh), He (r.a.) was only wearing two pieces of cloth that He could find before His escape, when He used to be the richest, the most handsome.
His (r.a.) situation made Rasulullah (pbuh) cry.

Can we do that, like Him, Mus'ab bin Umair (r.a.) ? He did a very big thing...But a very hard thing. Well, it's the reason why we tell each other His story now. May Allah make us meet Him(r.a.) in Jannah.

AssalaamuAlaikum brother.

Very true. The life-styles of Prophet(SAW) & The Sahabas are too good. They keep me motivated all the way. But sometimes, its a lot disheartening to see "the woman below whose feet doors of jannah lie" weep. Its not really something I can bear to see.


Assalam alakum

Do you have hard time, trying to be nice to parents and it feels like its hard to ''shower your mercy wings'' over them for different reasons ? Maybe you dont have same ideas, views about life, maybe they dont let you do things you want or maybe something else happens between you and them, so this cause you to have hard time being sooo nice to them like you were before when you was younger. Because when you were younger you didnt care many things in life so you were just hugging your parents, kissing, over and over again but now things changed, you have your life, you have your ideas and things you wanna do, but parents are not in same idea with you and if you dont do what they tell you to do, you may gain their discontent and this can lead you to hell (Allah knows best)...

Anyone who know what i am talking about ? And if you do have such situation at house, what you do ? Do you just try not to get angry or upset with them no matter what even though you cant be like before (hugging them, kissing them, always loving them) ?

Walikumassalaam wa rehamatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Whatever it is, they are your parents & you have to repsect them brother. Don't ever forget that it is through them you have come to this world [Ofcourse by Allah(SWT)'s will too]. Yes they might not understand you many a times. But try to find out the root cause. It is very difficult to change the ideology of a person who has been living for almost 40 yrs[assuming your parents are 40] brother.

Think about those children out there in the world, who don't have parents, how much a child would miss a mothers' lap, a fathers' guidance. Be happy. Alhamdulilah. You have beautiful parents. MashaAllah. Nobody is perfect brother, try looking beyonf the imperfections. InshaAllah you will find peace.

And don't forget the Judgment Day. Remember you will be questioned for your deeds brother. ONLY YOUR DEEDS.!!
May Allah(SWT) ease things for you. Ameen
 

Jsmih

Junior Member
AssalaamuAlaikum.

And I thought I was alone. Almost the same situation brother. Torn between my belief/faith and my lovely parents. They want me to leave Islam. They want me to follow and believe what they do. They are idol-worshippers. And they don't want to change their train of thoughts. Only thing I do is pray, pray to Allah(SWT). Hoping some day HE(SWT) will do what HE(SWT) always does. Miracles.!!
*Hugs brother* :)

Walikum Salam,

Love and obey your parents for the love of Allah (swt) and His Messenger (sws). Your parents should feel that after conversion to Islam, you are now more obedient and kind to them.

Then you will not have to preach Islam to them, they will come by themselves and even if they don't enter Islam, you have nothing to lose. But you are going to get lot of gains and rewards from Allah (swt).

May Allah (swt) increase your faith and faith of all Muslims and help us all to make other people enter Islam just like our elders did effort to bring us Islam. Ameen.

Keep praying for our elders (our Prophet (sws), all Prophets, Companions of Prophets, their generation and next generation and all righteous people) because they did so much great efforts otherwise we would not be Muslim today.
 

alf2

Islam is a way of life
I'm having hard time with them for a long long time.
They were never okay with the situation that i became a practicing muslim, perform salat, try to stick close to sunnah and Qur'an.

The things gone worse and worse. They definetly do not accept, tolerate the fact that i do not sit with them or with their guests if alcohol is involved. They find it to be it to be disrespect towards themselves when i do not sit to a table that has alcohol on it.

They find in "unacceptable in the modern world" that i do not shake hands with women.

They claim " I am ruining my life" by my actions.

It is disturbing for them when i read Qur'an or books about religion.

My beard became their obsession.

And so and so...My mother, is weeping all the time saying " I can't know the child i raised". They force me to choose between them or the sunnah.

Well, they also stated that we cannot live together if i go on this way. That i either have to accommodate with them, or...well i don't know..

For me, i must suit and organize my life according to Islam. As for them, i must suit and organize Islam according to my life.

Yeah, we are in absolutetly in superb terms with them. And i alsways see them very sad with me, as i am very sad too...I'm stuck, can't go back or forward. I am afraid from Allah to make my mother cry. But i cannot carry out what she wants from me. And i can't see a way that we can reach a common ground since both sides are pretty stubborn. How can i not be stubborn, thinking they want me to shake hands with women, sit to a table where there is alcohol, get a job that may include haram.

Haha, i pretty much poured my heart out here

Wow now I feel blessed. My family are Kufr but they are not nearly as bad as this!
Stay strong, ya akhi, may allah make you successful in this life & the hereafter for your struggle and endevors.
May allah swt guide your family on the straight path!
 
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