A Question About Searching Marriage Spouse

[Serving Him]

As salam alaykum

Lately i do wonder about something...

When we are supposed to choose a partner i do know that we should try to choose the one who is good in her/his deen.

But another thing i do wonder is;

Are we also supposed to be attracted to that person physically ? Of course i dont mean doing anything haram before marriage or looking at that partner without hijab. But i mean Is it important to be attracted ?

Because i have something in my mind:

Normally we should love Allah and His Messenger, most, right ?

So sometimes we may love other humans too much that we are really into a human. Like we see in relationships before marriage. When a guy and a girl is together and they are attracted to each other, they always wanna spend time together, they love each other too much and many other things.

Therefore i do want to ask you my Muslim brothers and sisters:

If there were 2-3 choices in front of you and ALLAH knows best but according to your ability you made this observation:

1 - 3.5 out of 5 for being religious and 3/5 for being attracting to you, you can get married maybe with in months inshAllah

2- 4 out of 5 for being religious and 4/5 for being attracting to you, but you have to wait for this person maybe a few years more for getting marriage

Considering you are not someone with a lot patience and you don't wanna fall into haram... Which one would you choose ?

 

[Serving Him]

Would you say ''Akhirat is more important and i don't wanna fall into haram so i do not care too much for beauty and inshaAllah as long as she is willing to follow Sunnah and Quran more, we can develop together for our Akhirat, this world is not too important''

Or would you say ''I should wait some more while, i want to be with someone who i really love and attracted to'' ?

 

[msmoorad]

salaams to all

as much as we have to choose a pious wife-there has to be physical attraction
otherwise youre heading for a problem

Allah ta'ala has created us with certain desires, likes & preferences
and when Rasullullah(SAW) advised us to choose a pious wife or to give priority to deen over other qualities-including beauty
that does not mean you should NOT find her attractive at all.

some like to say things like:
the beauty of her deen/islam/akhlaaq etc
that is in its place but if theres no physical attraction, no matter how pious she may be-there will be problems.

also,
if you place too much importance on beauty, then she might be lacking in her deen & her character
that is also disastrous -nobody will stay with a woman, no matter how beautiful if shes not obedient to Allah ta'ala & to him as well.

as one scholar/sheikh/moulana told me:
dont look at girls who are not pious when choosing a wife-look only for pious girls.
then, from amongst the pious girls, choose the one you find most attractive
that also depends on whether SHE finds you attractive & is prepared to marry you.


wish you all the best

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah