Assalaam alaikum,
The sister whose demise we are speaking lived in a mixed world. And Sister Precious Star is addressing an issue we do not like to discuss. That sister should have found comfort with Muslims. She was driven to success. She was educated. Yet, she was guilt ridden. It happens to many sisters in the West whose parents want the best of both worlds.
The life on the edge.
Yes, we can sit back and say she did not try hard enough to hold on to her faith. We can critize her for her weakness. Yes, she did wander down the wrong path. But, where was the Muslim world. Where was the soft speech to show her the Light. Where was a place where she could find forgiveness and comfort? She walked a very solitary path.
This is a breakdown of the power of the family. The community is broken. We can only speculate on her state of mind.
What we need to do is make our masjids welcoming. We need to be aware of the circumstances of our communities. We need to have activities at the masjids to include a group of women who are educated. We have a way of sweeping things under the rug to save face.
We do pick up the customs of the kufr. We live in a mixed society. The parents of these sisters do them a disservice. They expect the best from them but do not assist them, as Sister Precious Star has written so well. The sons are forgiven. The sons can marry non-Muslim women. They do have the best of both worlds. They are always accepted.
The field of prospective spouses becomes smaller; the cultural issues of having to be married before you turn 28 or you are an old maid are very strong.
We need to find solutions to the problems that are afflicting our communities in the west. The problems stem from ignorance. We have to find a way to embrace our sisters who are suffering.
Her sense of guilt rests on our shoulders. Our Prophet, swas, loved women. He told us to take care of women.
Sister Shak 78,
What you describe is a new phenomena for the immigrants. Most of us who are western and raising or raised children by ourselves are non-immigrants or second/third generation. The emphasis for marrying young and into the culture of the parents is very strong. The sisters are expected to be well educated and make money but be the traditional girl at home. Crazy.
The issues are cultural.