Probably difficult to trust anyone anymore...

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamua`alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

I hope all the brothers and sisters on the board are in the best of health and doing well, inshaa Allaahu Ta`ala.

I don't usually write what's been going on in my life here but I guess what has just happened really made me realized how things can be so unbelievable sometimes.

A few days ago, my mom called me asking me to come home because she said someone would like to meet me. I keep on asking who it is, what it is about but she didn't answer my question; only said its someone. I asked because I still have lots of things to do at my campus, my undergrad research still not finished etc etc. But I fulfilled her wish and came home.

Today, we went to the masjid. I have always felt uncomfortable on whats going to happen since my mom is being all mysterious about it. And then comes this Ustadh. He asked me to sit on the prayer mat beside him, while my family members (my mom, my sister and my dad) made a circle around us. There's another ustadh too, sorta like his assistance/friend beside him. Then he started asking me about my problems. I answered with sharing about me being in final year and its a bit stress. Then he asked me again what is really my problem since he said he knew thats not my main problem.

So I just went straight to the point. I told him about my intention getting married but the matter is still not settled yet. And its somehow is making me stress.

Flashback a bit to explain about the marriage issue.

From the beginning until right now, my mother has not given her blessings on me wanting to marry my would-be. Even after my dad has given his green light. Just that my dad told me to finish with my studies first and then only get married. The obvious and main reason my mom wouldn't let me marry him is because he is from another country. A neighbouring country. So, apart from taking me having counselling with an Ustadh earlier in Ramadhan, this is the second attempt of her making me to obey her.

But what hurts me the most was that today, the Ustadh said I'm being possessed by a jinn. A jinn sent by him. Which I don't believe I am because of:

1) Of all the symptoms that he told me, like having bad dreams meeting with a child, a stranger suddenly approach me, having headaches etc, I only can relate with the symptoms such as headache (which I have since high school and usually when I'm stress) and bad dreams that I don't remember what its about (I'm sure everyone of us has experiences bad dreams in their life).

2) When he was treating me (doing ruqyah on me though I have some issues with it such as him touching my face, banging on my head while reciting some ayaats), I did not feel heat or anything. Whereas if someone is being possessed, when ayaat of the Qur`an are being recited, his/her toe is pulled hardly, they'll usually scream. But I did not feel anything and I even recited 3 qul, ayaatul Kursi and La hawla walla during the treatment.

3) Before he did that treatment on me, what he was lecturing to me i.e: me being disobedient for not listening to my parents because I'm so crazy about that guy, about me being stubborn, that the jinn is making me don't want to eat etc etc. All that time when I hear things that I really feel is not about me but as if he's making me look bad, I was only able to istighfar in my heart. How I was painted as really a bad person who sees nothing else but wanting to get married. Also when he told about the hadeeth that it's better to marry someone from the same place, I questioned like "a hadeeth?" (cos I never heard of it) and then he snapped at me and said, don't question me because this is my field, I know better than you are. And sometimes I try interrupting his talk cos some of it were not true but he just kept talking. So I guess that's why in the end he said how I am such a stubborn person.

The Ustadh told my family to prepare my water bath with some herbs, lemon every evening at 6.30 pm (some time before Maghrib) for 7 days continuously in able to take out the jinn completely. When I asked him is the jinn inside me strong, he said it is. He felt so much heat inside (heat as in from myself - the anger, the evil part) even though I was peaceful when he treated me. He even said that if I read the Qur`an for a long time, I will feel heat in my body. Which I don't even after I was reading the Qur`an from after `Asr prayer until the time for my bath today.

Seriously all those who have known me, even virtually here, do you really think I am that crazy just so that I can get married and that I'm being possessed?

I called some of my closest friends who I know in real life asking if they believe I'm being possessed. None of them does. They even suggested that I go to another place that practice the sunnah ruqyah by a sunnah ustadh to determine whether I'm really being posses or not because if I'm not, this will automatically clear the name of my would-be.

The title of this thread was because I really can't believe what my family did to me. My mother for thinking her daughter being possessed, my sister who helped my mom on this matter and my dad for letting this to happen. For letting my mom doing this to me.

If some of you are asking why I want to do the nikaah quickly and not prolong the engagement:

1) To avoid ma'siyat of the heart. To preserve my heart and his heart.
2) Prolonging the engagement is not really encourageable, as we all know.
3) Because I have always been ready to get married. Unlike some of my friends who are still not.

I shall end this post now and I thank everyone for reading this long post and as always, I ask for nothing but for all of you to keep me in my prayers.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.
 

uniqueskates

Rabbe Zidni Illma
Assalaamualaikum sister.
Go on get married to your would-be. :) May Allah SWT bless yoü and would-be. Hope to hear the good news soon. InshaAllah. :)

Regarding family and jinn. That's how they convince yoü to do what they want yoü to do. When I told my parents that am into Islam. I got to hear various things, loving a girl, somebody brainwashed, have gone made, something evil has possessed yoü. list goes on. Lol :p

Will keep yoü in my dua. Have faith everything will be fine. InshaAllah.
Peace.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Asalaam alaikum,

This is the test of your mother and sister. You are not possessed. You will be ok InshaAllah. Spend time with your father. You will step back from your mother, until you learn to forgive her. She is scared and nothing else. She does not want to let her daughter go. She has to save face in front of her society.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleykum dear sister

May Allah give you strenght and patience.
We live hard times of confusion with so many theories around, our life can be a strugle between doing what is right and also respecting everyone around...many times becomes a difficult task. Situation will change in time with help of Allah, inshallah.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
Walaikum Salaam Sister,

Whats your mother upto? Speak to your father. It might not be easy for him to intervene, but he would have to do it. Stay close to your known practicing friends, siblings. Request close relatives or family friends to speak to your parents. Control your anger, stay calm. Read from Al-Bakarah without fail, while this lasts. Or Aayatul-Qursi in your mind. Stick to the prayers.

May Almighty protect you, and present whats best for you in here and hereafter... Ameen


Salam aleykum dear sister

May Allah give you strenght and patience.
We live hard times of confusion with so many theories around, our life can be a strugle between doing what is right and also respecting everyone around...many times becomes a difficult task. Situation will change in time with help of Allah, inshallah.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Know that you are both in my dua. You know your father is a good man. Your mother just wants what she thinks is the best; be patient with her. Please know I am always, always here for both of you.

Let time heal your wounds. Forgive your mother. Put your trust in Allah subhana wa taala. Use this time in a beneficial way. Sometimes it is better not to react but to be. In all the craziness around you be still in the Hands of Allah.

Do not be sad. Call upon Allah subhana wa taala.

I ask your forgiveness as I have been inattentive, dealing with life-stuff, trying to keep my nostrils above water, so to speak.
 
You already love this brother. Why would he need to "possess" you if you had already given him your heart? Its rather sick that a "ustadh" would play along with your mom's delusion just to make money off of her. Just out of curiosity, how much money did this scam artist walk away with?
 

sabs1164

AmatuLLaH
Also, if we're meant to be, in the sense that we're the best person for each other in regards to akheerah and dunya matters, I pray that Allah makes it easy for us before the marriage and after. But if we're not, I pray that The One who holds my soul in His Hands will make it easy for our hearts to let this go, and give us a better replacement.[/QUOTE]

As-salaamu alaikum, you know better what she is going through. Yes we can only make dua for her. May ALLAH make it easy for her.

Wassalaamu alaikum
 

sabs1164

AmatuLLaH
As-salaamu alaikum

I have a question, i hope no one will get offended but in Islam are we allowed to love before marriage? Or love starts after marriage?

Was-salaamu alaikum
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

Aapa, Sister Hajjerr and Brothers Uniqueskates and strive-may-i, Jazaakum Allaahu khaayraan katheeran for the words and dua`. It really helps to know there are still others who I can have faith on even if I can't do so to my family anymore.

As-salaamu alaikum

I have a question, i hope no one will get offended but in Islam are we allowed to love before marriage? Or love starts after marriage?

Was-salaamu alaikum

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

Sister, the feelings may or may not come on the day we're being asked. When the guy ask for the woman's hand for marriage through her wali. Even if both barely knows each other yet but they believe they are meant to be together (through Istikharah), those feelings can happens. Its actually something beyond our control, just that we have to ensure it does not control us, make us weak or drown in it. And of course, it's always better to love AFTER the marriage.

That's why I wrote in my first post that it is NOT encourageable to prolong the engagement but to hasten the nikaah. But in my case, it's not possible. And it actually has been a year now.

Please keep us in your dua`, dear ukhti.

You already love this brother. Why would he need to "possess" you if you had already given him your heart? Its rather sick that a "ustadh" would play along with your mom's delusion just to make money off of her. Just out of curiosity, how much money did this scam artist walk away with?

Brother, love is not the main focus of this thread. It more on the ridiculous treatment I received from my family just because I have the intention to fulfill half of my deen. Something not just of the dunya but as well involving my akheerah. But no, they don't see it that way. They just think that I'm madly in love because I'm being possessed.

I think my mother only gave about 50 in my currency which equals to approx $150.

Also, my family aren't really upon the sunnah so that explains why my mom brought me to some unknown ustadh to do ruqyah on me. I haven't really disobey or go against my parents, just that I told them I'm sticking with my decision to continue with the marriage. My dad has agrees after meeting him so what's left is my mom's blessings. She seems like going to continue doing things to me i.e constantly bringing me to see/meet/talk with some Ustadh (mind you I'm always uncomfortable talking to men let alone a stranger who immediately judge me as a bad daughter) until she gets what she wants.

I plan to live with my grandpa back in my village once I've finished with my studies. Its always much more peaceful being with the elders.

BarakaAllaahu feekum everyone for the dua`.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.
 
$150??!!!!!

Am I the only one here who thinks that man is committing blasphemy? He claims he felt the presence of jinn, but according to the book of Allaah, Allaah says: “Say: None in the heavens and the Earth knows the Ghaib (unseen) except Allaah.” (An-Naml: 65).

Deceitful sorcerers like him were ordered to be killed without given a chance to repent by the sahaba. Why do we allow them to linger and commit more crimes in the name of our Lord?
 

kashif_nazeer

~~~Alhamdulillah~~~
wa 'alaikumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
There is no might and power except with Allah,the raaqi is piling up misery for himself.
Insha'Allah you are in my duas,hope that sorceror realises what lying hadith he has said and repents.
 

Rustandi

الفقير الى الله
As-salaamu alaikum, you know better what she is going through. Yes we can only make dua for her. May ALLAH make it easy for her.

Wassalaamu alaikum

Wa'alaykumussalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.

Sister, i know better what she's going through cos i'm her would-be : ) well, supposed to be anyway.. Not sure what's gonna happen now though.


@all of you

Jazaakumullaahu khayran katheeran for your du'as.
 

tic_tac_toe

Junior Member
Assalamua`alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

I hope all the brothers and sisters on the board are in the best of health and doing well, inshaa Allaahu Ta`ala.

I don't usually write what's been going on in my life here but I guess what has just happened really made me realized how things can be so unbelievable sometimes.

A few days ago, my mom called me asking me to come home because she said someone would like to meet me. I keep on asking who it is, what it is about but she didn't answer my question; only said its someone. I asked because I still have lots of things to do at my campus, my undergrad research still not finished etc etc. But I fulfilled her wish and came home.

Today, we went to the masjid. I have always felt uncomfortable on whats going to happen since my mom is being all mysterious about it. And then comes this Ustadh. He asked me to sit on the prayer mat beside him, while my family members (my mom, my sister and my dad) made a circle around us. There's another ustadh too, sorta like his assistance/friend beside him. Then he started asking me about my problems. I answered with sharing about me being in final year and its a bit stress. Then he asked me again what is really my problem since he said he knew thats not my main problem.

So I just went straight to the point. I told him about my intention getting married but the matter is still not settled yet. And its somehow is making me stress.

Flashback a bit to explain about the marriage issue.

From the beginning until right now, my mother has not given her blessings on me wanting to marry my would-be. Even after my dad has given his green light. Just that my dad told me to finish with my studies first and then only get married. The obvious and main reason my mom wouldn't let me marry him is because he is from another country. A neighbouring country. So, apart from taking me having counselling with an Ustadh earlier in Ramadhan, this is the second attempt of her making me to obey her.

But what hurts me the most was that today, the Ustadh said I'm being possessed by a jinn. A jinn sent by him. Which I don't believe I am because of:

1) Of all the symptoms that he told me, like having bad dreams meeting with a child, a stranger suddenly approach me, having headaches etc, I only can relate with the symptoms such as headache (which I have since high school and usually when I'm stress) and bad dreams that I don't remember what its about (I'm sure everyone of us has experiences bad dreams in their life).

2) When he was treating me (doing ruqyah on me though I have some issues with it such as him touching my face, banging on my head while reciting some ayaats), I did not feel heat or anything. Whereas if someone is being possessed, when ayaat of the Qur`an are being recited, his/her toe is pulled hardly, they'll usually scream. But I did not feel anything and I even recited 3 qul, ayaatul Kursi and La hawla walla during the treatment.

3) Before he did that treatment on me, what he was lecturing to me i.e: me being disobedient for not listening to my parents because I'm so crazy about that guy, about me being stubborn, that the jinn is making me don't want to eat etc etc. All that time when I hear things that I really feel is not about me but as if he's making me look bad, I was only able to istighfar in my heart. How I was painted as really a bad person who sees nothing else but wanting to get married. Also when he told about the hadeeth that it's better to marry someone from the same place, I questioned like "a hadeeth?" (cos I never heard of it) and then he snapped at me and said, don't question me because this is my field, I know better than you are. And sometimes I try interrupting his talk cos some of it were not true but he just kept talking. So I guess that's why in the end he said how I am such a stubborn person.

The Ustadh told my family to prepare my water bath with some herbs, lemon every evening at 6.30 pm (some time before Maghrib) for 7 days continuously in able to take out the jinn completely. When I asked him is the jinn inside me strong, he said it is. He felt so much heat inside (heat as in from myself - the anger, the evil part) even though I was peaceful when he treated me. He even said that if I read the Qur`an for a long time, I will feel heat in my body. Which I don't even after I was reading the Qur`an from after `Asr prayer until the time for my bath today.

Seriously all those who have known me, even virtually here, do you really think I am that crazy just so that I can get married and that I'm being possessed?

I called some of my closest friends who I know in real life asking if they believe I'm being possessed. None of them does. They even suggested that I go to another place that practice the sunnah ruqyah by a sunnah ustadh to determine whether I'm really being posses or not because if I'm not, this will automatically clear the name of my would-be.

The title of this thread was because I really can't believe what my family did to me. My mother for thinking her daughter being possessed, my sister who helped my mom on this matter and my dad for letting this to happen. For letting my mom doing this to me.

If some of you are asking why I want to do the nikaah quickly and not prolong the engagement:

1) To avoid ma'siyat of the heart. To preserve my heart and his heart.
2) Prolonging the engagement is not really encourageable, as we all know.
3) Because I have always been ready to get married. Unlike some of my friends who are still not.

I shall end this post now and I thank everyone for reading this long post and as always, I ask for nothing but for all of you to keep me in my prayers.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.

:wasalam: Sister,

I don't know you at all but my duas are with you for :Allah: to ease your pain and make life easier for you. I know a little bit about both of these issues so here is my opinion which you are free to disregard.

Patients can be affected by Jinn or Magic or evil eye or all of them. To detect the effects of Jinn are the simplest which is that get some headphones and listen to recitation of the Qur’aan “ruqya shariah” from youtube and someone should watch your reaction. If there is a problem you will react but make sure that you are 100% attentive. No one needs to touch or see you because the affects are in the words of :Allah: and not the person.

Many of my young brothers and sisters get emotional about marriage and disregard even sound advice so in my opinion you should listen to the criticism they have against their marriage, objectively evaluate their criticism and better make Shura with others and if you are satisfied then disregard them but evaluate them to the best of your ability. Please listen to this short clip about the importance of Wali:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W2Hs81QHww

:salam2:

:jazaak:
 

MuslimShadow

Junior Member
Walaikum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Sister,none of us here think that you are being possessed by a jinn.It must be disheartening for you..... i mean nobody expects such kind of behavior especially from a mother.:(

What has happened cannot be reversed. Insha'Allah things will fall in place with patience and courage.

You should tell your father that you cannot go ahead with this "magic business".Convince him that you are not possessed.

I hope that you will come up with some good news soon:).Insha'Allah. You are in our dua'as.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
Aisya,

sometimes our families are just not on our side.

Islam does not say that you must marry the person your mother wants you to marry. Islam says you should marry someone for their religion, wealth and/or beauty.

You need a wali. You have one - your father.

You have everything you need for a marriage. It is now up to you if you want to pursue it. It will be heartbreaking if your family does not support you. It will be heartbreakign if you give up your would-be for your family. But know that if you pursue your marriage, it is your mother who will be cutting off ties, NOT you! You will be going into this with a clean heart.

But if you choose not to pursue it, well then all I can say is that life goes on. I am the last person to tell you that it will all work out in the end, because truthfully sister very rarely does life work out for us, in the way we want it to. Dreams are dreams - they aren't reality. You just have to keep on living your life. But you should know that at the moment, there is a way for your obstacles to be cleared, if you are strong enough.
 

PeacefulHumanity

:)Smile! It's Sunnah
:salam2:

It's obvious you're not the crazy one here. People clinging to racist beliefs about marriage can do crazy things sometimes and even go so far as to make stuff up along the way. Believe me, I know. I once talked to a Brother (who happened to be a therapist that specialized in relationships) about this and his advice is patience and perseverance. Insha'Allah you'll be in my duas. Have a nice day :)

:wasalam:
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

This isn't half as bad as what I imagined/thought. Though yes, it is more irritating.

You should do the Sunnah Ruqyah. That should help. Contact a scholar and seek scholarly advise about it.

Your mother is doing what a mother would do. There is no need think ill of her. You are not listening to her and she has a hard time digesting that. Naturally, she thinks you are malfunctioning and tried to fix you. That kind of "fixing" method was definitely going to make you angry. And if you were to punch him when he touched your face, like I would have considered doing, he would have been sure of the presence of a very violent Jinn called "Haya".

Your mother still deserves the best of you. If you feel like snapping at her, maybe you should tie your tongue. If she's infuriating you. Try to politely avoid her. Don't play with hellfire by falling into satanic whispers, now that you are quite vulnerable to doing so. He's going to try to make you close your door to Jannah. Beware of him.

Lastly, don't make any decisions when you are confused, angry and emotional and in the process of becoming a zombie. Finish your research first.
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

Brother TicTacToe, I have tried listening to ruqyah syar`iyah last night. No, I did not react weirdly or felt anything odd. I even read along with the qari some surah from Al-Baqarah. Alhamdulillaah for the strengths that Allaah gave to me to be able to read the Qur`an daily even if its just for a while and pray that He continues to give me the strengths until I die as the words from Qur`an are shifaa, so inshaa Allaahu Ta`ala, I do not believe I am being possessed.

I might have been a bit emotional but I do not disregard their disagreement if it were of reasonable reasons. Up until now, I leave it to Allaah if this is the best for me and my deen, He will make ways for it no matter how long it will take.


Sister Precious Star, how I missed you. Apology for not replying to your email earlier as you might know by now due to why. Your words were comforting, may Allaah reward you with goodness in this dunya and the Hereafter. I have always remember you and I still wish the best for you too and may Allaah ease your situation and each and everyone of us. Ameen.


Sister Seeking Allah's Mercy, "not half as bad as you thought/imagined"? What did you thought happened when I told you about it?Thank you for the honest advice and no, I do not feel like snapping at her because yes, she still deserves the best of me. Alhamdulillaah I have not become a zombie lol.


I do however appreciate very much all the great advises given to me. I might have over-reacted, got emotional and angry, felt betrayed and used but know that I did felt hurt by what had happened. As if I am really that crazy to marry Brother Rustandi and neglecting my family altogether. Inshaa Allaah I still have my faith if some doubt that. I understand if there are those who think I have go against my parents, I haven't done the right thing as a daughter or even as a believer but I only seek the help from Allaah. Of many things that I wanted and I gave it up for my mother (i.e: I used to transfer from an all girls school to a mixed school, I did not take some Islaamic courses as my main education and some few other things), but for this one marriage, it is something I really want. Yes, you may say I am stubborn but I am firm with my decision and I am clear on what I want.

If some think that I have forgotten my parents deeds for bringing me up, schooling me, taking care of me etc etc, I have not forgotten every of that. Just to make things neutral, I am grateful for all the things that my parents gave me (in terms of worldly matters) even if they never give the basic Islaamic education to their children (that is one of the rights of children from their parents) but it is Allaah who has made ways for me to learn that. Alhamdulillaah. Things just got so ridiculous since I told them about my intention.

Brother Kashif and Peaceful Humanity, Sister Muslim Shadow, thank you for the dua` and supports. It is highly appreciated and I hope everyone will keep making dua` for our loved ones and those in need.

May Allaah guide us to the best decision for our dunya and akheerah.

:wasalam:
 
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