Probably difficult to trust anyone anymore...

Rustandi

الفقير الى الله
Wallahi i'm so sick of all this drama.

@sister Asja

I didn't mean anything by the "stings" word. It just means that i was offended but i also think some of the things you said was right, thus i accepted your advice.


I intended to be redha with what you said even though you don't know what me and sister Aisya had been through for this marriage. The only thing that I did sister, was that is that i backbit a sister in Islam, in this case was her mother. But you on the other hand just keep criticizing me with unnecessary advice like "silence is golden but good words are diamonds" thing.

Allah knows best who is the zhaalem and the mazhloom in my case with her family. So please try not to say anything when you don't know anything about we've been through (the "silence is golden" advice works both ways you know).

@Seeking Allah's Mercy

Akh, her mom doesn't like (or should I say approve of) you doesn't mean our sister had to bear many many many many (sorry got carried away) things from her.

Ukh, I don't like to "assume" so what i said about the many2 years thing was based on something. But I don't want to say anything anymore. Talk to your friend if you want to know more, or don't if you don't want her to backbit her mom.

Wallahi I'm so tired of all this drama.. I'll just stay away from this matter, from struggling to make it work, from hanging around here on TTI and do more important and productive things to do for my career and my faith.

Ghafarallahu lana wa lakum ( may Allah forgive me and all of you) for the mistakes in what we said, for the misunderstandings and prejudices that we may have for our brothers and sisters in faith because of it.

Lastly @Aapa, thank you for everything that you've done for us. Even if the worst case scenario happens and everything is going south. I will always be grateful to you and will keep you in my du'a insya Allah.

Take care of yourselves.

Wassalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaaatuh.
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalamua`alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

Everyone is right as they bring their own point of views. And I respect that. But I will not delete this thread (yet) because know that it has helped me to go through the pain I was having on that day and knowing that people are praying (and myself too, indeed) gives me strengths. Of course, it's always easy for someone who isn't going through the situation, do not know how it feels like, do not know the story from A to Z to just assume he/she knows about it. But it's OK. Since I have made this story in public, its understandable for people to misunderstood and pass judgment.

Alhamdulillaah for the great advises. To Sister Asja, you may not believed that it happened but yes it did. I wouldn't make up some stories especially if it include parents. You seem to be focusing on my first post but did you noticed my other posts that I never forget of their deeds schooling me, bringing me up, feeding me?

I love my mother and I know that I am her favorite daughter and that she is in a way trying to hold me close to her but isn't it funny that after the incident on that day, even my father texted me saying sorry for what happened? The day after, when I called my maternal grandpa, I asked him whether he believed I was possessed. He said "No, he does not". And I asked whether he thinks I'm a good person or a disobedient daughter "He said no, everyone is good and nice". [I hope someone won't start saying I'm trying to brag or showing self-pride etc, Allaah knows how people are so judgmental without showing some empathy. I wrote the conversation with my grandpa because ALL of my family members turned their back on me, they brought me to see someone without my knowledge even after I asked many times and let me being touched while they just look at it, trust that person more than they trust their own family members etc]. So I don't think unless someone who has been through that situation, they'll understand.

Sister Al-Fajr, I shall keep your words in mind. And to Brother One with Allah, I did not started this thread to give us path to start bashing parents. Please do not take the matter out of the context as I have wrote it clearly in my first thread why I wrote such title.

Again, BarakaAllaahu feekum for everyone's replies.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaah.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

My sweet daughter,

You have done much for us. You have shed light on a real issue. This is not a political discussion; we are not discussing lofty issues that are international. You made this real. This is as real as it gets. We are all making dua for you.

You are very patient and forgiving. You are very intelligent and sweet. And you Love Allah subhana wa taala. Not to worry..everything will turn out just fine.

I am already savoring the wedding cake. InshaAllah, this will be one wedding I will find a way to get there.
 
la hawla wa la qu'wata illa billaah. Wallahi Akhi I understand this obstacle. I been through it, my friends been through it, and millions more have and are going through it.

Please don't give up. It's not like you have to get married this week. Take a break from all this headache, and come back to it in a month or so at a slower pace.

Allaah does not forget his abd. Keep praying for it, beg Allaah to make it happen, and make promise to Allaah that you will in return work hard to remain a good muslim and if Allaah grants you two children, you will try to spend every sweat to raise them to be the perfect Muslims.
 

Rustandi

الفقير الى الله
la hawla wa la qu'wata illa billaah. Wallahi Akhi I understand this obstacle. I been through it, my friends been through it, and millions more have and are going through it.

Please don't give up. It's not like you have to get married this week. Take a break from all this headache, and come back to it in a month or so at a slower pace.

Allaah does not forget his abd. Keep praying for it, beg Allaah to make it happen, and make promise to Allaah that you will in return work hard to remain a good muslim and if Allaah grants you two children, you will try to spend every sweat to raise them to be the perfect Muslims.

Jazakaallahu khayran for the encouragement akhi. Well i said that cause i was emotional and tired because of everything thats happened, to me and family, unrelated to this problem. Someone terrorizing my family is one of the problem. So there's no "we" in the previous post actually. It was just me. That's why i'm having a short fuse now and was a bit angry when sister Asja and SAM gave me advice.

But i do intend to do like you said, to stay away from this for a while, and move on with my life first while keep making du'a that Allah ease this marriage affair and soften her mother's heart if this marriage is for the best.
 

sabs1164

AmatuLLaH
Assalaamu alaikum

All i can say is "patience is beautiful".

InshaaALLAH, everything will workout if it's for the best.

Assalaamu alaikum
 
The sisters, may Allaah remember them with khayr, most likely didn't read that blog that was posted recently to understand the story. Forgive them, brother. I'm sure they want the best for you.

Also, sister Asya, I did not attempt to take anything out of context. The words about mothers were solely mine. And I still stand by my argument. I really don't care anymore if I'm considered a sinner because I choose to marry the girl I want. Personally, I will not let my mother choose my wife. She has ruined my sibling's life because she drove the person that wanted to marry my sibling away. My sibling is now depressed and hopeless and it breaks my heart. It's not fair that my mother played "god" and thinks that she can choose the naseeb for us.

I will take care of my mother, just as Allaah ordered me to, but She will not decide who my wife will or will not be
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
@Seeking Allah's Mercy
Ukh, I don't like to "assume" so what i said about the many2 years thing was based on something. But I don't want to say anything anymore. Talk to your friend if you want to know more, or don't if you don't want her to backbit her mom.

Wallahi I'm so tired of all this drama.. I'll just stay away from this matter, from struggling to make it work, from hanging around here on TTI and do more important and productive things to do for my career and my faith.

Ghafarallahu lana wa lakum ( may Allah forgive me and all of you) for the mistakes in what we said, for the misunderstandings and prejudices that we may have for our brothers and sisters in faith because of it.

Take care of yourselves.

Wassalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaaatuh.
Before I reply to your post. I would like you to know that there was nothing personal in what I typed. Excuse my words if they appeared as rude or offensive, or if it conveyed a meaning I didn't intend to convey. Hence, I will skip the agitation in your posts and not reply with the same (though I'm strongly tempted to) to try to close door in the face of the shaytaan. BaraakAllau feekum.

There is no need to swear, we can see you are exhausted with this. I'm sure I didn't wanted to say you assumed. Whatever is happening in my friend's life is a private matter minus what she brought out. I'm not saying I know her too well or whatever, but I've known her longer than you and in doing so, she's never complained of her mother before this. Yes, you can argue, why would she bother sharing that with me but my point is, you said what you knew from her, about her. I said what I knew. Since what you said isn't strictly true to what I knew. I asked you not let slip or even slightly point out to things that "we (Me and the rest of TTI)" don't know and asiya would rather keep it that way.

No thank you. I don't nag her into telling me things she'd rather keep to herself. It has been like that for as long as I remember.

Someone terrorizing my family is one of the problem. So there's no "we" in the previous post actually. It was just me. That's why i'm having a short fuse now and was a bit angry when sister Asja and Seeking Allah's Mercy gave me advice.
Take a break. I just have a feeling you two are getting married. A reason for the delay could be Allah's will to protect Aisya from your ongoing family problems.

Slight edit to my user in your quote
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
In the midst of the tense and stressful atmosphere here on this thread, thank you for making me laugh (don't worry, I'm not crazy nor possessed). Laugh at how things got so serious and we even start to have the wrong perspective towards one another when as Sister Hana has said to me in an email, if it weren't that Allaah made this path difficult for us, it would not have happened this way. And Allaah indeed make this a trial with reasons that He knows best.

Also, I'd like to say how the supports I received from everyone is humbling; be it with or against me and it has *almost* brought me to tears. Alhamdulillaah. Just for the record, I did not made this thread for attention as I'm the last person who wants that.

I pray that Allaah send you (for everyone) companions that will remind you of His Mercy at your time in need. And it might be ironic but I think that people in this virtual world might know me better than the people in my real life (excluding my close friends).

Last but not least, whomever going through a similar test like mine, I pray that Allaah keep us strong and that we shall be able to see the best outcome from this test and pass it successfully, inshaa Allaah.

:wasalam:
 
Top