How can one guide ones family?

S

StudentOfLight

Junior Member
:salam2:
My main purpose of joining TTI is due to recent Aqeedah clashes I have around me.
Although I was born and raised in a Muslim family, and I've been fasting, praying covering, from head to toe for as long as I remember, I've only recently realised that some of my beliefs are not as they should be and reflect that which has been engraved in my mind since childhood. So I'm here to gain more knowledge Insha'allah, but I only ask for everyone to bear with me if I ask questions that should be obvious or that people don't like. Also, most of my family are into this whole 'follow blindly' thing and i realise that it'll be real hard to change their thoughts. Thus I was looking for advice from more experienced Muslims who have been in a similar situation...

Student
 
ditta

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Wa-alaykum-us-salaam,

Welcome to the forum sister. If you have any questions feel free to ask by opening a new thread and Insha'Allah someone will try to help out if possible. Truthfully we are all seeking knowledge, trying to improve, and when possible try to offer assistance within the bounds of permissibility (capability). When you say follow blindly due you mean, continuing traditions no matter how it relates to Islam (forefathers, etc.) or following a leader (in aqeedah) at the Masjid?

Personally, I have had my squabbles with family but that has been more in relation to the Belief in Allah (specifically the Oneness of Allah). It can be difficult in determining when advising can be adverse. In the end only Allah guides but for sure the approach taken has influence. Problem I have noticed is people cannot let go of traditions or simply the way of doing things because if they do, it means being alienated by everyone (which is an understandable fear for the vulnerable).
 
strive-may-i

strive-may-i

Junior Member
StudentOfLight said:
:salam2:
My main purpose of joining TTI is due to recent Aqeedah clashes I have around me.
Although I was born and raised in a Muslim family, and I've been fasting, praying covering, from head to toe for as long as I remember, I've only recently realised that some of my beliefs are not as they should be and reflect that which has been engraved in my mind since childhood. So I'm here to gain more knowledge Insha'allah, but I only ask for everyone to bear with me if I ask questions that should be obvious or that people don't like. Also, most of my family are into this whole 'follow blindly' thing and i realise that it'll be real hard to change their thoughts. Thus I was looking for advice from more experienced Muslims who have been in a similar situation...

Student
Click to expand...
Walaikum Salaam,

Welcome. Its always good to focus on our self first. May Almighty Guide you.
 
S

StudentOfLight

Junior Member
ditta said:
Wa-alaykum-us-salaam,
When you say follow blindly due you mean, continuing traditions no matter how it relates to Islam (forefathers, etc.) or following a leader (in aqeedah) at the Masjid?
Click to expand...

:salam2:
I mean following blindly continuing traditions of ancestors, my problem is when these clash with the teachings of Islam. I don't mean to complain about them but rather only because I love them am I trying to reach an understanding, but that's where the whole problem is, since I'm the youngest no-one takes me seriously. They think I'm going through a fanatic phase and that I'll settle down once I'm older
 
ditta

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
StudentOfLight said:
:salam2:
I mean following blindly continuing traditions of ancestors, my problem is when these clash with the teachings of Islam. I don't mean to complain about them but rather only because I love them am I trying to reach an understanding, but that's where the whole problem is, since I'm the youngest no-one takes me seriously. They think I'm going through a fanatic phase and that I'll settle down once I'm older
Click to expand...

Wa-alaykum-us-salaam,

I think I know what you mean. In my brief experience a lot of these ancestral practices involve, setting up intermediaries with Allah, whether that be calling upon the dead or alive and seeking their intercession, wearing amulets, increasing acts of worship on certain days believing it will benefit the dead (I think it is that, like Thursdays for instance), visiting the graves of so called righteous people (difficult to determine) and seeking their intercession (I remember one near Mirpur, Pakistan people would visit), etc.

I don't mean to imply that your family engages in these practices as it probably depends on their background/ethnicity. Sorry if I have been presumptuous. I noticed using the Qur'aan aayat which the scholars of have used to refute such practices can be effective. I compiled selected verses on this in audio with Urdu translation which might be useful if your family is of this background. If not you can still use those verses to explain in their language. Below is the link to Selected Verses Three if you are interested:

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90282

Sadly, sometimes the person will still not accept your reasoning and that is what I mean when advising might become adverse. Over time it becomes awkward I have to say due to a person's stubbornness. I have noticed the advising might turn from avoiding shirk to at least read your Salaah because of the lack acknowledgement/response to the former. This is what I mean whereby the risk/fear of being alienated by others if the person was to leave their ancestral practices. And gentleness is essential.
 
queenislam

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
:salam2:

:ma:
Alhamdulillah!

Welcome to tti
great to have you with tti~Alhamdulillah!

:bismillah:

Say: If the sea were ink for (writing) the words of my god, behold the sacred ocean be exhausted (written) words of my god, even if we bring an extra (others). "

Holy qur'an surah Al kahfi 109

so keep on
and never never stop learning
my sister.

~May Allah swt help,protect and guide all muslims~Amin!

Take care,
~Wassalam :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top