Salam alaykoum sister,
It would be a good idea to meet muslims with whom you can speak to directly if you can. In any case always put your trust in the creator.
I hope the following might also help you:
Question: I begin my question by seeking your advice that I may benefit from you with regards to how I may increase my eemaan (faith?)…
Answer: We advise you to recite the Qur'aan frequently and that you increase in your hearing of it and in your recitation of it. Reflect and consider its meaning to the best of your ability and what you do not understand of it, then ask the people of knowledge of your country about it, or write to those outside of your country from the Scholars of Sunnah (Prophetic guidance).
We also advise you to increase in the dhikr (remembrance) of Allaah with such remembrances and supplications that are authentically related, such as saying laa ilaaha illallaah (that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah), or saying subhaanallaah wal-hamdulillaah wa laa ilaha illallaahu wallaahu akbar (declaring Allaah free from all imperfections, praising Him and declaring that none has the right to be worshipped except Him and that He is greater), and their like. For this purpose, we urge you to refer to books such as al-Kalimut-Tayyib of Ibn Taymiyyah, al-Waabilus-Sayyib of Ibn al-Qayyim, Riyaadhus-Saaliheen and al-Adhkaar both by Imaam an-Nawawee, and their like. This is because the remembrance of Allaah increases eemaan (faith) and causes hearts to attain tranquility, as Allaah - the Most High - said: "Indeed in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find tranquility." [Soorah ar-Ra`d 13:28].
Also preserve your five daily Prayers, your Fasting and the rest of your obligations - along with hoping in Allaah's mercy and forgiveness and relying upon Him in all your affairs. Allaah - the Most High - said: "The Believers are only those who, when Allaah is mentioned, feel a fear in the hearts, and when His Verses are recited to them, it increases their eemaan (faith), and they put their trust and rely upon Allaah alone. They are those who perform the Prayer and spend out of that which We have given them, they are Believers in truth. For them are grades of dignity and nobility with their Lord, and also forgiveness and generous provisions." [Soorah al-Anfaal 8:2-4]
Healing the Weak Iman (Faith) -
Feeling Allah’s Might, by knowing His names and Attributes and studying their meanings and filling the heart with these meanings
– Feeling Allah’s Might, by knowing His names and Attributes and studying their meanings and filling the heart with these meanings, will show its effect on the heart and then on the limbs. The deeds will then be a spokesman for the heart, for the heart is the leader of the body, if the leader is strong, his soldiers will also be strong, and if the leader is weak, the soldiers will be weak in turn.
Texts of the Quran and Sunnah that describe Allah are in abundance. When the Muslim reads these texts, he will feel humility when confronted with Allah’s Might, and then this humility will lead him to be an even better slave of Allah, Allah willing. The Quran and Sunnah describe Allah as the Great, the Irresistible, the Most Powerful, the Compeller, the Most High, Able of Retribution, the Mighty, the All-Strong, the Supreme, etc. Also, Allah is the Ever Living God Who does not die, while mankind and the Jinns die, the Dominant above and the Supreme over His slaves, the One Whom the thunder praises and the angels fear, the One Who sustains everything, Whose Knowledge encompasses all things and the One Who uncovers all secrets of the hearts. Also, Allah described Himself with Knowledge, "And with Him are the keys of Al-Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is on the earth and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record." [6:59]
Allah also described His Might, when He said, want translated means, "They made not just estimate of Allah as is due to Him. And on the Day of Resurrection the whole of the earth will be grasped by His Hand and the heavens will be rolled up in His Right Hand." [39:67]
In this regard, the Messenger of Allah said, what translated means, "Allah will grasp the earth on the Day of Resurrection and will roll up the heavens in His Right, then He will say, "I am the King! Where are the kings of the earth?" [Al-Bukhari]
Furthermore, the believer should feel humility in his heart with regards to Allah’s Might, when he reads the story of Moses, who said, as was mentioned in the Quran, "O my Lord! Show me (Yourself), that I may look upon you." [7:143], and Allah answered him with, "’You cannot see Me, but look upon the mountain if it stands still in its place, then you shall see Me.’ So when his Lord appeared to the mountain, He made it collapse to dust, and Moses fell down unconscious." [7:143]
The Messenger also described Allah, as "His veil is Light, if He unveils it, the Light of His Face will burn all what His Sight reaches (which is everything!)" [Muslim] Also, the Messenger of Allah described what happens when Allah decrees a matter, "When Allah decrees a matter in the heavens, the angels will gather their wings in humility for (the revealing of) His Decree, which is (sounds) just like the chain when it slides over a barren rock. Until when fear is banished from their hearts, they say, ‘What is it that your Lord has said?’ They say, ‘The Truth. And He s the Most High, the Most Great.’" [Al-Bukhari]
The Texts on this subject are available in abundance. It is always of great benefit, especially with regards to curing weak Iman, to feel the Greatness of Allah when reading these Texts.
Ibn Al-Qayyim's description of Allah's Greatness
Ibn Al-Qayyim described Allah's Greatness, saying,
He governs the affairs of the various kingdoms and He commands and forbids, creates, sustains, gives death, gives life, gives power, strips power (to and from whom He wills) and alternates the night and day. He gives varying fortunes to people and alternates governments (and states), destroying some and bringing some into existence. His Command and Power are dominant in the heavens and their zones, the earth and all that which is on and in it, in the seas and in the air. His Knowledge has encompassed everything and He counted everything. He hears all types of voices and they do not confuse Him. Rather, He hears each voice in its distinct language and need, and no voice will make Him busy from fulfilling the need of another, and no need will ever escape His Perfect Knowledge (and His Power to deliver). He does not become bored because of the many needs of those who need. His Sight encompasses all that which there is. He sees the movement of a black ant on a barren rock during a dark night. To Him, the Unseen is uncovered end the secret is secret no more, "Whosoever is in the heavens and on Earth begs of Him (its needs from Him). Every day He has a matter to bring Forth (such as giving honor to some, disgrace to some, life to (some, death to some, etc.)." [55:29] He forgives an evil deed, makes depression vanish and brings reprieve from disasters, relief for whoever needs it, wealth for the poor, guidance for the misguided, light for the lost, help for he who is desperate, fullness for the hungry, cover for the barely clothed, cure for the ill and ease for he who suffers. He accepts he who repents, gives reward for he who does good, gives aid for he who was dealt with injustice, destroys an arrogant person, covers mistakes, gives safety after fear end elevates some people and humiliates others. If those who inhabit His heavens and His earth and all those whom He created, whether mankind or the Jinns, had hearts similar to the most pious heart, His Kingdom will not increase. If all His creation, whether mankind or the Jinns, had hearts similar to the heart of the most wicked heart, this will not decrease from His Kingdom. Also, if all those who inhabit His heavens and His earth, all mankind and all the Jinns, the dead and the living, stand up on one strip of land and each asks Him for his need, and He then fulfils their needs, this will not decrease from what He has a bit. He is the First, nothing is before Him, the Last, nothing is after Him, the Most High, nothing is above Him, and the Most Near, nothing is nearer than Him. He, Exalted and Ever High as He is, is the Best Whom one can and should remember, the only One Who deserves to be worshiped and thanked, the Kindest of all those who own and the Most generous of all those who are asked to give. He is the King Who has no partner, the One Who has no competitor, the Samad (Self-Sufficient) Who has no offspring, and the Ever High, none like unto Him. Everything perishes save His Face and every kingship is bound to perish except His. He will only be obeyed by His Leave, and His Knowledge uncovers all disobedience to Him. When He is obeyed, He thanks for it, and when He is disobeyed, He grants forgiveness (for those who truly repent to Him). Every punishment from Him is just and every bounty is a grace. He is the Closest Witness and the Nearest One with His Perfect Care. He controls the forelocks of everything and has the full records of all deeds end the books of all ages. The hearts are unmasked to Him and the secret is unveiled. His giving and punishing is merely a Command, "Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, ‘Be, and it is!’" [36:82].
Dear sister, I also recommend you read the following:
Muhammed 
The Natural Successor To Christ (pbuh)
:salam2:
......please stay to your decision....focus on your searching for the truth....our du'as are with you...insyaAllah...
