Turtle24
Member
Salaams,
This is a long story so please bare with me. An istikhara was done for marriage by my fiancée who at the time had done it in general, next thing I knew our families had discussed potential for our marriage. I too did istikhara but was left very confused having mixed feelings but was convinced by family but still fairly unsure. I asked a sheikh and he had told me that sometimes a path just opens up so I went ahead and said yes. A few months later I become increasingly unsure and desperate not to marry him, after a few days of intense duas I found out that he cheated on and slept with his ex girlfriend, he had claimed he also loved me and wanted to marry me and he's committed a huge mistake. So I did istikhara again.
At first he blamed me then her and made many excuses for himself after lying, then he was very regretful and begged for forgiveness. After that he became more concerned with our families having issues with him and his life being ruined and how sad he was in addition to many more excuses to justify or explain how he got there. He claims she pushed him that far and he had come out of a long term relationship and he's struggled and in the process of letting her down gently got carried away. More than his mistakes what bothers me is his reactions to the events, there is more but I would prefer not to say.
I don't want to marry him, the only thing that makes me unsure is our families and causing them so much pain problems and humiliation. They are more concerned with the world and what people will say. We do get on and we would probably be okay but after everything's that's happened and how I feel I don't think I can go ahead with it. I read istikhara twice the second time and my mind was pretty much made up.
Can anyone please please advise me on what I should do and how I should do it? He claimed I shouldn't have told my family and if I wanted to end it to have told him so it wouldn't have ruined his life, and now that I want out I can basically deal with it myself but he will take responsibility and say it was his fault. The answer seems so obvious but with such a huge decision an outside opinion would be greatly appreciated.
Jazakallah khair
This is a long story so please bare with me. An istikhara was done for marriage by my fiancée who at the time had done it in general, next thing I knew our families had discussed potential for our marriage. I too did istikhara but was left very confused having mixed feelings but was convinced by family but still fairly unsure. I asked a sheikh and he had told me that sometimes a path just opens up so I went ahead and said yes. A few months later I become increasingly unsure and desperate not to marry him, after a few days of intense duas I found out that he cheated on and slept with his ex girlfriend, he had claimed he also loved me and wanted to marry me and he's committed a huge mistake. So I did istikhara again.
At first he blamed me then her and made many excuses for himself after lying, then he was very regretful and begged for forgiveness. After that he became more concerned with our families having issues with him and his life being ruined and how sad he was in addition to many more excuses to justify or explain how he got there. He claims she pushed him that far and he had come out of a long term relationship and he's struggled and in the process of letting her down gently got carried away. More than his mistakes what bothers me is his reactions to the events, there is more but I would prefer not to say.
I don't want to marry him, the only thing that makes me unsure is our families and causing them so much pain problems and humiliation. They are more concerned with the world and what people will say. We do get on and we would probably be okay but after everything's that's happened and how I feel I don't think I can go ahead with it. I read istikhara twice the second time and my mind was pretty much made up.
Can anyone please please advise me on what I should do and how I should do it? He claimed I shouldn't have told my family and if I wanted to end it to have told him so it wouldn't have ruined his life, and now that I want out I can basically deal with it myself but he will take responsibility and say it was his fault. The answer seems so obvious but with such a huge decision an outside opinion would be greatly appreciated.
Jazakallah khair