KEEPING THE RIGHT FRIENDS

Abu Abdillah

Super Moderator
Staff member
KEEPING THE RIGHT FRIENDS
Who we keep company with is reflective of who we are

For as far back as I can remember, my parents would always admonish me and my brothers to keep good company.

Needless to say, I was always very conscious, and careful about choosing the right people to surround myself with. In Islam it is doubly true and essential to surround yourself with righteous companions, because they will help to keep your feet planted on the straight path, while doing otherwise may lead you astray.

It was Ahmad ibn Harb, rahimahullaah, who said, "There is nothing more beneficial to a Muslim's heart than to mix with the righteous and to watch their actions, while nothing is more harmful to the heart of the Muslim than mixing with sinners, and watching their actions." No matter who you are, or how strong or independent you may feel, no man, or woman, is an island, and you can't make it through this life alone. This is why Islam so stresses the Jama'ah, or the congregation. The sayings that there is strength in numbers and that it is the lone sheep that gets devoured by the wolf are true.

Therefore we need to adopt correct manners, in that we try ardently never to do an action or to befriend anyone without knowing whether the pleasure of Allah is in it or not, and never loving and hating for worldly reasons. For the Prophet of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wassalaam said, "Whoever loves for Allah, and hates for Allah, gives for Allah and withholds for Allah, has completed his faith." (Abu Dawud) So who should be our companions? First of all they should be good Muslims, who believe in Allah and His Messenger. For Allah says in the Qur'an, "And who so obeys Allah and the Messenger [Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wassalaam], then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the prophets, the Siddiqun (those followers of the prophets who were first and foremost to believe in them), the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are." [4:69]

Secondly, being around them should make you want to increase in good deeds. Allah ta'ala says, "And We have sent down to you [O Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wasallam], the Book [this Qur'an] in truth, confirming the Scriptures that came before it and Mohayminan [trustworthy in highness and a witness] over it. So judge between them by what Allah has revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging away from the truth that has come to you. To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way. If Allah willed, He would have made you one nation, but that [He] may test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in good deeds. The return of you [all] is to Allah; then He will inform you about that in which you used to differ." [5:48] By aligning ourselves with people who do good deeds, we are then prompted to compete with them in this regard, and thus improving the character and the religion of everyone involved.

Lastly, but by no means the least, our companions should help us to remember Allah. For Allah ta'ala says, "O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does this, then they are the losers." [63:9] In this time of hustle and bustle, it is very easy for us to get caught up in the pursuit of worldly gains. This is why it is increasingly important to surround ourselves with people, who will encourage us to think of Allah, in every instance of our lives.

The superiority of the remembrance of Allah was explained by the Prophet Muhammad, :saw:, who said, "The example of the one who remembers his Lord, in comparison to the one who does not remember his Lord, is that of a living creature compared to a dead one. (Bukhari)

So let us take stock of the people we spend our time with. Do they fall into the above categories? If our friends aren't doing these things, then what does being with them say about us? We should strive to love those who love Allah, and to hate those who hate Allah, and what He has sent down of guidance for humanity. For the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam said, "Whoever possesses three things will find the sweetness of eman. For Allah and His Messenger to be more beloved to him than anything else; to love a person for Allah's sake alone; and to hate to return to disbelief the way he hates to be thrown into the fire." (Bukhari)
 

Hajar

Active Member
Staff member
Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh Brother,

Jazak'Allahu khair for this reminder.
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Asalamu Alykum,

That was very true and Jazakallah for sharing. But i have one thing at college i dont know anybody that prays and does other good deeds, its difficult as i dont know where i can find other pious people to talk about Islam etc, becuase i really want to.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam
 

Libinette

Umm Zubayr
assalamu caleikum,

Brother, if you go in your local mosque, there should be brothers around the same age as yours, no?? and + you've got all the brothers here to discuss Islam and religion so thats good, alhamdoulilah

wassalam caleikum
 

al-fajr

...ism..schism
Staff member
salam,

^ ull just have to be a loner then im afraid ;)

jk.

was thinking the same myself actually.... good point libin but then were back on the 'sisters in mosques debate' ah well...TTI is good enough for me :)
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Asalamu Alykum,

I forgot about that, i think i need to go to other mosques to see if there is anyone other brothers around the same age as me, although Inshallah im going to try and go to an event next week Inshallah and Inshallah i will meet some brothers there. Although it is frustrating when there is nobody to talk to, face to face.

Alhamdulilah

Wasalam
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Asalamu Alykum

:SMILY153:

Just incase you took that serious :)

:SMILY303:


salam,

^ ull just have to be a loner then im afraid ;)

jk.

was thinking the same myself actually.... good point libin but then were back on the 'sisters in mosques debate' ah well...TTI is good enough for me :)
 

ditta

Alhamdu'Lillaah
Staff member
Asalamu Alykum,

Sorry, i knew i should have just put the "funny post" smily. :(

Again Sorry

Wasalam
 

shaz_1999

Junior Member
I believe big time in the company we keep is how we are

I see the way people change in front of their friends in front of my own eyes, its so werid

Salamz
 

almouchie

Junior Member
salam
thank you for sharing this
i completely agree
I have withdrawn from many of my school & uni mates
because we happen to move in different circles & priorties
sometimes i regret losing touch with al of them, but now I am probably better for it
not easy find friends the right ones either
 

Halloween Harry

New Member
While being a nice article, it doesn't take into account the massive positive impact you can have on people considered "the wrong friends".

It seems he is saying one thing & quoting something else, that is not directly related. for example, what is the correlation between this quote:

Secondly, being around them should make you want to increase in good deeds. Allah ta'ala says, "And We have sent down to you [O Muhammad, sallallahu alayhe wasallam], the Book [this Qur'an] in truth, confirming the Scriptures that came before it and Mohayminan [trustworthy in highness and a witness] over it. So judge between them by what Allah has revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging away from the truth that has come to you. To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way. If Allah willed, He would have made you one nation, but that [He] may test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in good deeds. The return of you [all] is to Allah; then He will inform you about that in which you used to differ." [5:48]

And the next sentance he writes:

By aligning ourselves with people who do good deeds, we are then prompted to compete with them in this regard, and thus improving the character and the religion of everyone involved.

So I gotta say, it's one-sided & biased against conversing/meeting/working with non-muslims.

Actually, it almost sounds like an article against da3wa.
 

IslamIsLight

Islam is my life
Staff member
assalamu aleikum
Not all the people are perfect.Even very few are real muslims ,who always pray, espessialy.Its very hard to choose between people,because we don't know what is in each heart.May be we see from our point of view that this person does something wrong,but only Allah knows that may be this person gives in charity and helps others.I think we should forgive each other and encourage each other to become better and better for the sake of Allah.

Its the same when u wish something good for your family member,if u see he does something wrong u worry about him and u wish him to change and u will always help him.We are all muslims brothers and sisters and we should help each other to be better and not just point on our mistakes,because only Allah can judge between us...
salam
 

sharaz

Fear Allah
Salaam,

Being with the right company is essential. As they say 'your friends are who you are'

I also have left many of my school and uni mates cos they are not on the haqq and plus they bring you down to there level. Having friends who are on the deen is very important. When my imaan is low i always link up with my brothers and we have a good chat about the deen and give each other reminders. I leave with my imaan high. :ma:
 

Kurd11

IN ALLAH...WE TRUST.
That is why they say choose your friends wisely. I am going to admit I have some friends that do nothing but weaken my imaan. Now I am trying to refrain from speaking to them. It is hard but if I want to remain a strong muslim, I must do it. I am very sad I don't very many Muslim friends. =(
 
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