Tom and Gerry who is haunting who?

[justoneofmillion]

assalamu aleikum,well brothers and sisters i have a question that may seem strange to some of you .i know that marriage is half of the deen and so on....but i wanted to ask: is it possible not to marry if one chooses too i mean is that haram if one fullfils all the other obligations,salat,fasting,zakat...etc and all the other jihads because i came accross a lot of women due to my previous profession as a musician and entertainer and have lost my esteem for women in generale somehow.... allhamdulillah Allah swt has guided me and took me away from that haram, the thing is i do not think any women would fulfill my expectations or would really understand where am coming from... i didn`t really have any model of women that i could relate to in a respectful manner due to my personal experience growing up in the west i just can not take`em seriously! don`t wanna hurt women or children i don`t like divorces ..don`t want them to suffer.....so is it okay not to marry?i understand this isn`t really an eloquent poem but it has the merit of being sincere no offence to any sister out there i love you all for the sake of allah swt

ps.do not go into any psychological speculation out there it is just that i was ,and i am still only exposed to western women and am fed up with their little self esteem and insistence that is all i know

p.s.s either i will have to go hunt for my wife in the moon nowdays or wear a gas mask for protection:lol:

 

[Proud2BeHumble]

:salam2: Dear Brother,

Don't feel sorry about your situation as everyone in this world has some weakness or other. No one is perfect.

because i came accross a lot of women due to my previous profession as a musician and entertainer and have lost my esteem for ....

It is obvious that the women you came in contact during your profession as a musician were not truly appriciating the beauty of Islam but the worldly desires.

But it is to be reminded that all the people (men or women) are not the same, even if you might have seen hundrads of them in bad light. There are many options. You many look for someone who is from a very religious family, even if they are very poor or just a pious housewife from an eastern country .

You may list your demands - what qualities you are looking for in your wife and then set your priorities for them. It is to be reminded that you may not find all the qualities what you may list as you too can not fulfill all the qualities for you future wife's expections. If you get 7-8 qualities out of 10, then just go ahead but make sure first 4-5 qualities from your list are met.

However, life without a family or wife is almost empty. At certain point in your life you may certainly realise this bitter truth.

Wasalam

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: Dear brother in Islam. Not wanting to marry is your personal choice. And you wont be punished for it .But the prophet has asked us to marry and make our ummah bigger. Make the muslim ummah bigger he said .You dont have to hurry up and get married. There are lots of good muslimahs who are looking for a good life partner. And Inshaallah you will find one you just have to be patient. Maybe you are looking in the wrong place for a wife.

 

[justoneofmillion]

:salam2: Dear brother in Islam. Not wanting to marry is your personal choice. And you wont be punished for it .But the prophet has asked us to marry and make our ummah bigger. Make the muslim ummah bigger he said .You dont have to hurry up and get married. There are lots of good muslimahs who are looking for a good life partner. And Inshaallah you will find one you just have to be patient. Maybe you are looking in the wrong place for a wife.

assalam,well sister thanks but am not looking for a wife at all
just want them to stay away from me right now that is not my main focus

 

[IslamIsLight]

Not all fingers on your hand are the same.
I have a fobia from all men too,and don't want to get married ever.But Allah has plan for every one of us and we don't know what will happen tomorrow.

 

[mymohsin]

Salam Brother,

At first brother let me say I like ur comments and ur knowledge about Islam may Allah add more and more to it and give u strength to be firm on the path of truth (Islam) Ameen, splly I like the reply u gave to GB2GB on the threat about christan missionries or some thing like that. Anyways brother at frist as u said u r not intreasted in marrying now its nothing wrong with it but keeping an intension to not to marry by thinking that womens in this world are not piose i think it will not be proper i can understand the kind of womens u might have intracted with in ur past exp of life as mention by u but don't forget bro every where there are good and bad so keep the intension to marry at the time when u find someone who is of ur kind to ur thinking here i m saying upto ur thinking/kind as i cant say Islam or following Islam properly as to my thinking there are many mnay many..... sisters who follow the path of Islam may be much proper way them what v just the matter is when u find the one of ur thinking like minded and I pray to Allah that day and that Princess may soon come to u. AMEEN.

Your Islamic Brother.

 

[MUHAMMAD_SHAIKH]

assalam,well sister thanks but am not looking for a wife at all
just want them to stay away from me right now that is not my main focus

well,how can we tell females to stay away from you?:angryblue:

 

[alkathiri]

I have a fobia from all men too,and don't want to get married ever.

I dont see why some people do not want to get married. Im afraid they will regret it later. If we love islam very much , we would want to do what the prophet SAW did...

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

The world of musicians excites women. The girls you were exposed to represent one dimension of women.
As your faith increases I know that Allah places in your life those who are similar to you.
He put you in my life. I am grateful.
So chill. Increase you faith and knowldege. Let Allah bring your pious and sabir women so you can choose one of each. Four should drive you crazy.

Marriage is good. It humbles you.

With all my love,
your appa,
Mehnaz

 

[justoneofmillion]

I dont see why some people do not want to get married. Im afraid they will regret it later. If we love islam very much , we would want to do what the prophet SAW did...

assalam, well my main aim here is that am trying to make a point i always hear sisters justifying themselve about wearing the hijab ,talking abt marriage abt make up ....etc and they get traped into that same system that thinks it has the right to hold them accountable and when i see some sisters in the eastern countries behaving like
these ones over here i believe it is my duty to give them some insight as i have grown up and live in the west. am seeing to much worldly concern taking over this ummah that is dangerous women need to elevate beyond that and talk abt other things than the hijab,relationships,make up shoes and so on....it is enough that we are justifiyng ourselves all the time in the news in news papers ...........etc we have to spin the tables over and ask them better some questions abt the status of their women.we have nothing but absolutly nothing to envy to these goddless monkey wannabees systems allah swt hafiz

 

[alkathiri]

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality, but those who cannot, should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
(Bukhari, Muslim).


When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion, so let him fear Go regarding the remaining half.
(Bukhari).


The whole world is to be enjoyed, but the best thing in the world is a pious woman.
(Muslim).

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

We do spend too much time on minor things. But, we have to be understanding that many people are not ready to commit to a more serious approach. That is very personal. I look at the number of posts I have written and there is no feedback. The minor discussions always have more responses. But, that is ok.
Unless you have lived in the west and experinced it ( gone around the block serveral times) you will not have an understanding of how difficult it is to live here. We can detect the flaws in the western world we see them everyday and we are drawn to the perfection of Islam.
No, brother we do not need to turn the table around. We need to move forward and upward towards Muslim unity and Allah.

 

[justoneofmillion]

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality, but those who cannot, should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
(Bukhari, Muslim).


When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion, so let him fear Go regarding the remaining half.
(Bukhari).


The whole world is to be enjoyed, but the best thing in the world is a pious woman.
(Muslim).

assalam,jazakallah brtother for that i do not contest that at all auzubillah am just may be revealing some insight abt my personal experience am not advizing this to anybody am just trying to make a point to araise some awarness in that matter the color of the scarf the color of the skin,of the nails shape or forms and other materialistic notions do not matter if we want to get back to the purity of the hadiths above! it is the only way we can reach the revival , by looking back to the ones who have held the dignity and honour of this ummah.am not a scholar or anything am just analising what i see and expressing my views with a noble purpose that i wanna be worth of trying to reach for "unity" and Allah swt knows best anyways

may Allah swt make me the first to follow his deen and forgive me in my ignorance ameen

 

[Libinette]

Assalamu caleikum,

As my brothers and sisters insisted on the importance of marriage, i don't think there's any point to repeat it, but i just wanted to tell you that as Mirajom was saying, before you became muslim you met many women...
The girls you were exposed to represent one dimension of women, and here you only hear us talking abt our issues on hijab, niqab, colour of scarf... true, but doesn;t mean that all muslim women talk abt that evry single day, it's an important issue to us but again doen't mean that..... aaargh i'm confusiong myself, i hope u undestood what i was saying!!

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Lilttle brother what the dear sister and I are saying is this:

we women love to talk about anything...we are women..
some of us are serious, some are just plain simple silly..and many are a combination..in a forum like this we yack...we are all Muslim women...

Once a person takes Islam seriously, Allah in His Mercy sends us kindred souls..we are pilgrims on the same path...

InshaAllah when the time is right you will meet the person who will ignite your heart towards a life together not only in this world but in janna, too.
You are mature because you are telling us this is not the time for you. O.K.

Chill and you will meet feminine, gentle, strong, Muslim and beautiful...when Allah wills and son, you will not be able to do anything but marry her.

 

[justoneofmillion]

assalam,well just to make one thing clear before you missunderstand me dear brothers and sisters am not talking abt muslim women here when i say they have to leave me alone ! as i have not known any of them....sorry if i was not quite precise in my statement i was only talking abt what i have been exposed to and sadly see sometimes reflected in our ummah.i have this german girl that from school that keeps calling me all the time i do not know where she got my phone number from ,sending me her friends i wanna be serious and do not know what to do with her i told her i was muslim and that i do not date girls like that but she does not understand seems like shaytan is following me like crazy and this is making me angry ! i think am going to give her the Quran next time she comes along who knows it may be leading her to achieve something positiv instead..inschallah

ps.appa..lol you know what am revising for my exams that start on monday inschallah am trying hard not to fall asleep and thinking abt the ummah at the same time ...am exauhsted! i just hope my futur wife will not be jealous of my ummah just in case because i will be in trouble and yelled at every day .:tantrum1: ....lol

wassalam

 

[justoneofmillion]

assalam,well here is the deal brothers and sisters i think i found the solution to the problem i believe polygamy is the best thing ever!!!i mean probably the most logical approache here seriously as i love women no question but i do not want them to get too close to me emotionaly speaking or to get the opportunity of locking me up never!!!!:jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: what do you guys think?


ps.you were right appa four should drive one crazy but am already crazy that may produce a positive side effect as we all know mulitiplying two negatives crazy x crazy gives a positive to the power of 4 it may boost the ummah for real!!!and i would have also done my duty

wassalam

 

[Aapa]

Salaam Little Brother,

Let us call a spade a spade. Women are attracted to pious men. Herman Hesse wrote a wonderful book about it. Think of the Last Tempatation of Christ by Kazantakis (sp). Historically in the western psyche is embedded the notion of rejecting women for God. Western women chase men; that is a fact. As you are on your own to grab a man..they run after men.Islam corrected that notion.
Marry four. After you get a well paying job. Make sure they are independent..they think for themselves.
After your exams veg. Veg and sleep. Eat and veg some more. There is a beautiful saying in the Black community here: Take time for self.
We need you brother..if for no other reason than to satisfy four beautiful wives and have little Muslims running around the globe.