Thoughts of a First Wife!

[Globalpeace]

Asslamo Allaikum,

I find this blog to be utterly shocking and VERY IRRESPONSIBLE of the Sister's husband!

I understand that she is perhaps trying to deal with the pieces!

**** Site removed

My comments are on there with my nick-name Colonel!

I am convinced that most brothers are practising polygamy for the WRONG REASONS!

Allah (SWT) has given us permission BUT not licence to shirk our responsibilities with the 1st wife!

Abandoning your wife to look after young children while you go on a merry-go-round with a 2nd wife is nothing but SHIRKING RESPONSIBILITY!

I wish I could HANG husbands who DON'T help & look after their wives....Why get married then if you are NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO LOOK AFTER THE FAMILY???

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Brother it is easier to go on the merry go-around with another woman.

 

[dianne]

Salam,

Ya Allah i just couldnt imagined how she feels right now,May Allah give him a strengh to face through.ameen!

Wassalam

 

[shaheeda35]

:salam2:
It reminds me of the hadith that if you have more than one wife and are not fair with them, you will come on The Day of Judgement with one side hanging, subhanallah!! Before you take that second wife, think, am I able to provide and maintain, be fair and just? I know Allah said brothers can do this, but He also said if you cant deal with more than one, than deal with just one, subhanallah. We need to be more responsible and use the intellect that Allah gave us.

 

[Globalpeace]

Dump the bum!

Asslamo Allaikum Brothers/Sisters,

You know I often meet Brothers/Sisters with martial issues and Sorry to bang on about this but as men Allah (SWT) has entrusted us with responsibilities (financial, physical, emotional etc.)

I see bums (I don’t want to say men) who can’t hold on to a job, beat their wives and children…come down hard on their wives about Hijab, yet walk around with Tight T-Shirts and Jeans so low you can see their back-side when they pray!

And I know Brothers who are in polygamous relationships and other brothers seem to be in awe “Wow! He is a man…Got more then 1 wife….A real STUD”

No, No, No!!!

A real man is the one who looks after his family and takes his responsibilities seriously…Not the one who goes and gets another woman to satisfy his desires…

I have no problems with Brothers getting into a polygamous relationship to help Sisters out (or even for lust to go for a younger-cuter-fitter Sister; because its permissible) but lets not glamorise the issue and NEGLECT the basic duty of a man which is:

To LOOK after his family!​

 

[a_muslimah86]

Asslamo Allaikum Brothers/Sisters,


I see bums (I don’t want to say men) who can’t hold on to a job, beat their wives and children…come down hard on their wives about Hijab, yet walk around with Tight T-Shirts and Jeans so low you can see their back-side when they pray!

​

:salam2:

Oooooh! the men I see of such nature!..it just angers me to the greatest degree..

La Hawla Wala Qowta Ella Billah!

Jazak Allah Khair brother for bringing this issue up..when it comes from a man I find that more people listen to it without bias or prejudice..

While when women bring it up..then it's automatically misinterpreted as..

The woman being "jealous" or "feminist" or worst yet..not complying with "Allah's Hikam" and all..

 

[Smee]

Assalaamu'alaikum,
I have been following this sisters story for a long time, as I have gotten to know many sisters involved in polygany through another forum I am a part of.
Earlier today I saw your (GP's) comment on the blog you have mentioned and wondered who you were as I have never seen you post on any other blog I regularly read.

Much of what our sisters in these scenario's go through is dispicable, and what is sadder is that it is often revert sisters who fall into this trap. Men often (and this has also happened with me) harp on about their 'haqq' yet if, as a woman, I ever talk of my haqq I am branded an irrational feminist yet what I say does not go against what this beautiful deen teaches.
I think the most important thing to learn from their stories is the need to educate our Muslim women/sisters. Sadly women do not know their Islamic rights, and for this reason fall short in a lot of scenarios.

And my last point is I have to comend the strength of these womens imaan, mashallah. For the sake of Allah SWT they continue, because even if their rights are not fulfilled, these wonderful women never neglect the rights of their husbands. We all can learn something here...even if it pains us.

There is one sister in particular who needs our du'as right now as she is in a very difficult P situation. If you wish to know more please PM me and I will pass on details.

 

[Globalpeace]

Muslimahs & Polygamy!

Asslamo Allaikum,

Yes, having come from one of the most thriving Revert communities in US and with my mother heavily involve, I have seen many Revert Sisters in polygamous relationships and even from partial knowledge I can assure everyone that it’s NOT as sweet as it looks from the outside.

A lot of Sisters need Support and I fully understand it and a lot of Sisters “compromise” when they find that their husbands are involved (or about to be involved) with another woman…I mean what is a poor woman with 3-4 kids supposed to do? She can’t kick-up a fuss & be left stranded with no support & with multiple kids, can she?

Sisters compromise for their Eeman, their Islam, their self and their children and may Allah (SWT) reward them in this world & the Next (Ameen)...They live a tough life, trust me!

I think us MEN need to learn HOW to behave and communities should keep a Watch over this non-sense!

I know for a fact that NewYok, Jersey & Philly are notorious for polygamous relationships

I know a Revert brother in my community in US married to 3 different Revert Sisters and he has lied to wife no 2 & 3 and told them that he was single!
When I was younger I was in awe with him (though he was a STUD!) about his women because brothers in the Mosque used to joke about him with “3 women” but there are a lot of tears in that family because the first wife is a good friend of my mother and when she couldn’t cope she used to come over & I had to vacate my bedroom for her to stay and us brothers weren’t allowed upstairs etc….

Sister! I will most definitely PM you about this & please ensure that my message gets to where-ever this forum & to the Sister with the utmost ferocity and anger!

Sunnah is NOT to be joked and mocked with for brothers who have a problem with their libido!

I have told many Sisters who I have personally come across over the last 10+ years that if you have troubles Insha’Allah we will assist you in everyway possible (financial assistance, with your children, with your homes, with your housework and we will let our wives/sisters/women to talk to you & also assist you) for you to get back on your feet and we will assist you in finding someone suitable who you can be happy and compatible with….What-ever it takes but if you going to get into a polygamous relationship then THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT…

Here are some daunting facts:

1. Man’s life needs adjustment
2. 1st wife life needs adjustment
3. Children from 1st wife need adjustment
4. 2nd wife’s life need adjustment
5. Children from 2nd wife need adjustment

If a man who can deal with all of the above & still cope and be an ideal husband/father; then he is a DIAMOND and by Allah (SWT) he needs to get a 3rd & 4th wife to assist other Sisters in need!

But such men are like Gold-Dust!

Brothers! Get out there & help these Sisters and NOT take advantage of them...If Allah (SWT) has given you time and money then spend on them and take their children to the Masjid etc…for the sake of Allah (SWT)…no strings attached…no returns and make it explicitly clear from day one that you are NOT interested in them because some Sisters who are helped in their time of need will fall for you! And that is a fact!