I’m sending you a story based on a Hadith written by a brother I know. When I read this, it moved me deeply because it spoke the truth (I think certain aspects he was talking about his life and other peoples in general), and Insha’Allah it the same for u. The person, who wrote this, wrote it for someone dear to him and he told me that she was so moved by this that literally if u knew her before no way you would recognize her now. Take time and make space in our “busy lives” to read this...
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The feet of a servant will not move on the Day of Judgment until he has been questioned about four things): his life - how he spent it, his knowledge - how he acted upon it, his wealth - where he earned it and how he spent it, and his body - how he used it.” (Tirmidhi)
It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The son of Adam will not be dismissed from before his Lord on the Day of Resurrection until he has been questioned about five things: his life and how he spent it, his youth and how he used it, his wealth and how he earned it and how he disposed of it, and how he acted upon what he acquired of knowledge.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2422; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1969)
Story is based on the Hadiths above, between Allah and a person who passed away at the age of 40. Remember this is just a story nothing is being attributed to Allah and his Rasul (PBUH) but just trying to create awareness for an individual and how you will be accounted on the day of Judgement.
(Note you will be before Allah, you cannot lie even if u want to, how you felt and what you feel will come out... and this will be in front of the whole Ummah from our Prophet (PBUH) to your mum and dad)
1. Your life how did you spend it?
He/she:
“Well when I was young, from 8 yrs old I had to go madrassa to around 14 yrs old. We read Quran although we never understood it. I never like going masjid because I always miss my favourite TV shows which funnily were always during mosque time. I would always try to bunk, fake my illness.
But school I use to love school, too much jokes, all my friends there, I use to have crushes on the girls/boys. I did pray jumuah every Friday oh and eid prayer, oh and I kept fasts during Ramadan apart from that I use to read yaseen once in a while, oh and I use to always pray when I wanted to pass exam and for my team to my win...which you never answered.”
“Then I went college, I never prayed well maybe Jumuah, never thanked you for anything maybe once a while. But college was the best; I use to make money on the side, on top of EMA. I was rich but I never thank you for it... We use to go sheesha cafes, clubbing, buy games, clothes but you nah you never came in to my life. I use to mix with the girls/boys, some acted innocent but really they were the bad ones... oh the good old days...
However I did have a friend who said we should pray, they were a friend but then they went all Taliban like, so they became a stranger so I stopped being friends with them... but anyway the girls/boys in college wow they developed so nicely and so did I... they use to chase me and I loved it..I use to look good for them everyday for them... “
“I did well in my alevels and gcse I use to put in all the effort, make plans, go to extra classes, I use to give money charity just so u could help me in my studies. “
“But Islam hmm I was busy, I thought saying there is none worthy of worship but You is enough... So I use to say that once in a while... And also my parents are holy I thought they will take me to Jannah.. But now you’re telling it’s not like that and everyone will stand alone and be accounted for. I wish I knew that now.”
“Then I went uni... again these girls/boys even more developed... me not so much...But that didn’t stop me, clubbing, drinking, drugs, girls, free mixing, bf/gfs, lying, stealing, fornicating... that was the life... everyone use to tell me enjoy life while u can so I would... and that practise Islam later when your older... so I was going to do that..
Deep down I know I should grow up and be like my parents who have Imaan and humility but aaah what the heck I got all my life... Well had...
I wanted to be like my cousins from up north, they lived the life in freedom, I want to be like my friends those who weren’t Muslim, always having fun, and they had nothing to answer to.
I guess I thought once a Muslim always a Muslim... oh and facebook damn I met girls/boys from there also... I use to think I can find girls/boys anywhere, you made it so easy for me what was I supposed to do... “
“Oh and Allah I know now this was bad but I use to love music, if I was down, it would make me happy, I use to listen on the way to college, uni, before I go sleep, while I was on the net, well pretty much any time I could.. I use to know thousand of songs and artist of by heart. I use to tell everyone about the latest songs, sing to everyone...”
“Why didn’t I listen to Quran??
Umm never liked it... Don’t understand it. Actually wait during Ramadan I use to get this holy vibe... actually wait... I only listened to it once I got into my mates car and they had it on... I think his name is sudais wait that’s him over there” (now u think damn everyone is here).
“And Allah Quran is too serious , like during Jumuah this grown man next to me started to cry during prayer, same Surahs all the time I think they were Qiyaama and Qaria, I mean grow up there are other people around you. “
“And why was it always those same Surahs they use to cry to... “
(And now by Allah you are told why..)
“Oh right I get it now, because they use to worry about this very day... wow I wish I knew.”
“Allah I did something I kinda regret now, whenever there were shopping sales, I use to queue for hours to buy some clothes which I had already enough of. I use to miss salah, and even though I knew the company was jewish (meaning money will be given to Israel to fight our Muslim brothers and sisters but we don’t care right) I don’t care Allah. I needed them extra trainers, those tight jeans, those sunglasses, those socks and underwear, I need it, it’s my life and my passion. I wasn’t hurting anyone Allah just myself. I only care for myself. But I could never spend that time queuing praying to you. Oh Allah I use to love late night shopping, seeing all the girls and boys around, walking with my gf/bf, buying clothes on my credit card, but I never prayed late night to you.”
“Oh and TV, I use to watch all the movies, TV shows... Someday that’s all I do... I would only talk about that, I use to love those dramas... Sometimes I would just spend my weekend watching those... But whenever mum and dad turned the channel to Peace tv u know the one with Zakir Naik, upstairs I went to my laptop, msning away, webcamming away, more tv. Never bothered with religion, eugh so boring, so serious.”
“Then I got married to some girl/boy, we became best friends... We had two kids... I had to get a job... we fought a lot over petty things, we nearly got divorced... I still prayed Jumuah... I did read the Quran once a year...never in the language I understood... I lost a few more friends because they became religious never thought why... So they were strangers now. But I did stop smoking, gambling, going out with other boys/girls, facebook, *!*!*!*!, clubbing.
Ok I guess I didn’t do it because I was scared of u. I only stop smoking because of kids so that my wife don’t complain or stop talking to girls/boys for my partner’s sake.
That’s all of my life maybe few bits and things missing... “
But overall Allah I wasn’t harming anyone in my life... didn’t really care about the world... just me and my family... I never got round to Islam... I was going to later but u took my life... Maybe if you could let me go back and I can learn from my mistakes.
2. Your knowledge - how did you act upon it?
Well I was good at maths, English, media studies I use to love that subject I got to watch films... I got a good degree but it was tough getting a job, I use to spend days on days and hours on hours applying. I made dua to you but it seemed you never helped.
Oh Allah you talking about the deen... ummmmmmm I know Muhammad (saw), oh and his friends Abu Bakr (ra) and Umar (ra) they lived in Makkah or Madinah... umm I knew to pray 5 times... Ramadan... I did use to listen to some random people at the mosque we use to sit in a circle once in a while... how did I act upon it... well like I said I went jumuah umm eid dunno really...oh and I use to say peace be upon the prophet every time I heard his name so yeh that’s that.
As I got older well I never had time... there were talks at uni but come on... Like the SU bar was right there... And my gf was there and I didn’t like mans talking to her so I had to be always with her so I never went... and then kids and work stop me after that..
But I use to read the metro every day, listen to bbc news... skysports...asian bride magazine... I use to love harry potter books...
Oh sorry I will stay on track... umm well the deen I guess I don’t know much except what I learn at mosque, or the portable radio that my mum had... oh I read the Quran in Arabic don’t know what that was about.. I just thought you get blessed by reading it and touching although I use to touch it sometimes without doing wudhu. It don’t matter Allah its only minor.
When I had kids Allah I taught them abc and 123 but never your beautiful names. I told them to worry about exams for school but never for this day. I didn’t know il be responsible for them, whatever they did I let them be.
But Allah its true, even though I never knew the deen, the religion, the lives of Companions (RA) and the Prophet (PBUH), I use to argue with others on the matter of deen. I just use to love it; even though I never practise I use to argue on trivial things. I use to rely on my whims as evidence for my argument. I use to worry whether the chicken I ate was electrocuted or not but I often never prayed for months, I use to say Insh’Allah over evil things or mash’Allah, yeh I admit I mocked you Allaah.
Allah then replays the moments you mocked him:
“You gonna be there tommorw night at the club. Yeh inshallah il be there. Ok. Salaams see you tomorrow. “
“Oi you got a cigarette.. yeh here you can have two.. mashallah jazakallah your so kind.”
“Oh Allah jazakallah thank you for giving me a job in the bank,” “Oh Allah thank you for you allowing me to win that bet.”
3. Your wealth - where you earned it
(“Dammnnnn didn’t think this one would come up) umm insurance scams, phone scams, car scams, ebay scams, umm I use to put money in the bank let it build up (interest), umm working for the bank, cinema, pub,, ummm when I was young I use to steal from my mum/dad.
What they are here?!!!!.. Where?? Oh wow *!*!*!*! (in this world, if you are always swearing or cursing don’t think you’re going to change all of sudden)...
U want me to carry on? I use to steal from my brothers... Cousins...Friends... but then I stopped all that when I had a family... yeh u can say I never stopped because I was afraid of u but more afraid for my family... But I use to work every day for them 9 to 5... salah what about salah. Oh I never had time for salah I was working earning money.
But Allah I wasn’t harming anyone when I dealt in interest, or did those scams, it was just me..
4. Your body... Where you used it
(If by this point you’re not embarrassed or ashamed before Allah and others... u will be now)
“Do I have to answer this... no ok? Thank u...”
In your head your thinking (wait my hands is talking what’s it saying???) you see again in the Quran it states that your body parts will be a witness against or for you.
Hands: Allah they use to touch themselves when he/she would watch *!*!*!*!, he use to abuse him/her self, watching indecent things...
Mouth: Then his/her mouth would talk... “Oh Allah they use to use the lips to kiss girls/boys”, and the hand joins in they use to use me to undress there gf/bf and put me down there pants... oh ALLAH PUNISH HIM”. “He/she use to let their filthy semen come on to me “(THIS BIT GOT GRAPHIC SO I DELETED IT)
I wanted to obey you but he never let me... (Now imagine how your father is going to feel on that day knowing his daughter use to get touched or touch boys, or get entered into etc)
Then there thigh would talk... oh Allah they too use let me get touch by his girl/boy punish him... Then his stomach would talk oh Allah... he/she use to eat haram food and say u will forgive them its only food im not harming no on... He/she would eat by spending interest money.. His/she chest would speak oh Allah he/she use to smoke the sheesha, or weed...
Then Allah stops them speaking and orders you to speak...
“Oh Allah it’s all true... I use to use my body for haram... to go gym to look good to show off... I use to style my hair or straighten it or dye to impress others... I use to wear tight clothes so the boys can see my figure... I use to love there compliments... oh Allah I use to do all sorts... I use to wear the latest clothes to show others, I use to take of my top to show others my build.
I use to let guys grind on me, touch me and I didn’t care, I use my body to dance in the clubs. Never did I think I would use my body in your path. Only if I knew.
Then Allaah orders the angels to take you to HELL... Then you scream... “WAIT”... our Rasul (PBUH) said he would intercede for every Muslim... So you wait... and the angel lets u go... so u go running to find him...Where is he?? And because u never studied him or his life, u don’t know what he looks like... u don’t know where he is... Then someone then points him out... (And remember you will be naked before Allah) so u run to him... But he moves away from you... turns his face... so u say Rasul (saw) u said u would intercede... help me.. He turns his face away again as you chase him... Then he speaks in his beautiful voice... in so many words... go away from me... u use to shave your beard even though I told u to keep it, u use to show your figure even though I told u to cover it.. You are not from my ummah, you never prayed, you never fasted properly... I cannot help you... I can intercede for those who tried and failed. Nowhere in your life did you struggle for your deen.
You turn to your father... He spits at you... Because he now knows who you are, You see in the dunya u use to act so innocent in front of him, but now he sees for what you are.. Now he knows who you use to bring to your house when he was away, or where you use to go when you went to your “friend’s house”. What u did with your body, where your mouth went... where your hands went... why u use to dress up nice... where all those presents came from...
Now you turn to your best friends who you use to say they were your best friends, that you loved them and do anything for.... in anger and u say “YOU”... u use to take me to clubbing, pub, sheesha bars, u use to invite me to parties, to meet the girls/boys, to take drugs. You argue blaming each other...
And then u turn to those beautiful lighted strangers who were your friends, who told u to pray and always ask for forgiveness...and u ask them to help u...
And they say no its too late... I use to help u in the dunya.. But u didn’t want to know me and so now I don’t want to know you...
So u turn back to Allah and say Wait Allah... Umm I only did what every normal person did... I didn’t hurt anyone... I was a good person... I use to help people on the bus actually wait that was only the women because they were looking nice... oh I use to volunteer to help kids hmm that was only to make my CV good... but I never hurt no one...WHAT I DID? HOW??
Your telling me the car insurance scams I use to pull actually hurt someone...How?? when you claimed to get hurt in a crash u claimed it against a Muslim or non Muslim (he became Muslim) although his insurance paid it, he had a crash later which was his fault and his insurance went booming up so he had to give up driving, he had a family, now he couldn’t go to his job because it was too far, so he had to change jobs closer to home but less money, he was suffering to provide for his family, but I blessed his life and his wealth and I gave him contempt..
And remember that girl/boy u use to go out with, and use and abuse, u shattered there life, and they would cry every night and then they ask for guidance, they turned to me, so I turned to them, i gave them Noor, i blessed there life. And now she/he was aiming for the highest Jannah which I will grant them... But Allah if she/he told me i would have helped them, oh but they did and u mock them and laugh at them, until they realised there is no one to turn to but me. And now you see that very same person under the Arsh of Allah, u see them glowing of light and u think damn to yourself.
Oh Allah I didn’t know... I was always tried to be good, people use to tell me that (now you realise, they use to say because they always wanted something from you or that they were your “friends” and they never wanted to hurt you)... I always try to be good. I had good intentions...
Oh Allah you’re telling me every time I just looked at my gf/bf, it was a sin, what kind of religion is this? I loved her/him; I wanted to marry her/him even though i didn’t in the end, I married that other guy/girl, I had the intention to though. We weren’t like others, we just held hands and kiss and hug, and we talk, what’s wrong with that. Ur religion was too extreme; you’re the God to extremist, where’s that imam or person that told me said it’s ok to gf/bf?
I had the intention to marry her, I thought u blessed our relationship, I thought those other bf and gf they will go hell but not me n her... were special...
Oh Allaah i used and abused you... I mean do your remember that day coming back from that party, restaurant, i was walking home from the station, it was late and i was scared... so i prayed to you and you got me home safely. But when i got home i didn’t even thank you, o pray my isha, i got changed and rang my bf and spoke to him for two hours but you nah... i mean i got better things to do, i gotta go on youtube, facebook, upload those pics from that bday party. Allaah i only needed you sometimes, you was like my part time god although i never admitted it, some Fridays, ramadhaan and thats about it really, can i go heaven now?
Oh Allah what’s this taste in my mouth, o Rabb it’s disgusting, it’s vile... (You’re spitting and flesh and blood is coming out...)
O Allah what is it...
Those times you use to sit with your friends and gossip about the whole world, about this girl about this boy, about this person and that, about this race and that people, u use to hurt people and you knew but u never cared. You use to look down on them... u use to backbite and slander... and if u had read the Quran u would have known u would be eating the flesh of those who u hurt with your words, behind or in front of them... But I did read the Quran but I didn’t understand it... I never read that part... if I knew I wouldn’t have done it... Don’t u remember u use to curse those who prayed, those friends who turned to me and told you to stop doing the evil things, don’t u remember in those gatherings and meetings of yours where all you did was laugh, curse, backbite, gossip. Well now you can taste their flesh and blood that will be your food on this ever so long day.
And the only reason I showed your sins in front of everyone, because u use to display your sins to everyone, u use to walk with pride, do u remember how u use to let your trouser hang ever so nicely over your trainers and u use to perfect it when it came out of place... or how in front of everyone after salah u use to unfold your trousers... do u mock me? U think I only see you during salah.
How u use to spend an hour choosing your dress putting on perfume... your shoes.. You use to take pride and walk on the streets... do u remember those nights in the club, pub or sheesha bar, and how the next day u would tell everyone and how it was and how much fun it was... and how u use to flirt in front of everyone.. Walking hand to hand on the streets with your gf/bf... U didn’t think I was watching all Along. If u had concealed your sins I would have done so for you.
“Oh Allah you’re going to find sins all throughout my life... “
Yes I will. U were made to sin... but I told u in the Quran.. I’m the most Merciful, Most Forgiving so ask me and I will grant u...But u never turned to me in any real conviction.
Oh Allah I never knew... Now I know let me go back... I will be better
U didn’t know? You did. During Ramadan you was ever so innocent, you wore your hijaab everyday, prayed every day, you grew your beard, even outside the holy month you use to pray Jumuah.. But soon as it came to Eid u took off your hijaab, u shaved your beard, u wore the tightest and brightest clothes on Eid, u went out with boys in their cars, smoking, u went clubbing, does u mock me? Do I only see you on Fridays and during ramadhaan?
Oh how about when you went on pilgrimage, did you think of even missing salaah then, or walking with your hijaab off, or flirting or smoking, do you think that the only place I am in Makkah or Madinah? Does u mock my existence; are you saying to me I’m not All Hearing or the All Seeing?
Oh Allah I never knew...
Allah what I did was for everyone else and never for you. I love to see my bf/gf they use to make me so happy, brighten my day, listening to that song use to cheer me up but u nah never. Everything I did was for others. But for u nah never. I felt no shame Allah, I use to wear my topee or jihaab only when I prayed Asr but as soon I finished I took it off.
If I was in a shop and heard a song that I liked, I told everyone there “tunneeee” and nod my head to it but when I heard the Quran, I use to change it so quick, leave that place so quick.
Oh Allah everything is fashion my shoes have to match my top, my bra has to match undies to please my gf/bf. All for other people Allah.
Oh Allah I’m a bf/gf before I’m Muslim, I’m a father or mother before I’m Muslim, I’m a son/daughter before I’m Muslim, I’m a individual before I’m Muslim, I’m a nationalist before I’m Muslim, I’m a democratic before I’m Muslim, I’m british before I’m Muslim, I’m Asian before I’m Muslim, can I go Jannah now?
Oh Allah I know this is bad but I wanted a tattoo, I only didn’t get it because I was scared, not scared of you, but of my mum and dad. I wanted to drink and smoke and go clubbing but I was scared not of you but of my family that they may catch me. Oh Allah I never feared you, who were you? I couldn’t even see you...
Oh Allah I hated those strangers, they use to make me feel so small. Whenever I was with them they spoke so nice, they always cared for me, they always were smiling, they always ask if they can help with anything, Allah who are these people... the TV told me these were extremist. Allah I use to look for faults in them even though they told me that no one is perfect except our Prophet (PBUH)... never did I find them complaining about anything, they were so knowledgeable, they were a threat to me, why was they happy, u didn’t bless them with wealth, or looks.. Really not much else either... but i didn’t want to know why? But I just had to bring them down. Make them do evil. Speak evil of them. If they wore hijaab i called them ninja, I wanted them to fail, I tried to make them feel small but it never worked they always came back smiling.
Oh Allah sometimes I only use to pray at masjid because my friends wanted to pray there, the Taliban one and I’m not going to say no because I don’t want him to think I’m bad and I don’t wanna pray but I was more than willing to say no to you.
Sometimes I would leave my house to go to the shop and bump into a extremist guy who told me to go with him to pray, i didn’t know how to say no... But to you here I will say NO. Don’t u see Allah I did everything for show but I always wanted things from you, can u send me to Jannah now? This is all getting boring...
Oh Allah why you make this religion like this... Why make it so hard... Why make it so that I can’t do the things that are haram... “Oh the world was a test???” Oh I see now... only if I knew Allah.
Oh Allah those holy people, how comes they were strangers, why they couldn’t be like me then I would have gotten along with them... When I started to uni, I looked at that girl she was nicely and appropiately dressed, well mannered, but I didn’t want to know her, she never talked to boys. I wanted to know those others, the ones that everyone wanted to know, they talked sex, orgasm, handjobs, blowjobs, clubbing, music, shopping...
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The feet of a servant will not move on the Day of Judgment until he has been questioned about four things): his life - how he spent it, his knowledge - how he acted upon it, his wealth - where he earned it and how he spent it, and his body - how he used it.” (Tirmidhi)
It was narrated from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The son of Adam will not be dismissed from before his Lord on the Day of Resurrection until he has been questioned about five things: his life and how he spent it, his youth and how he used it, his wealth and how he earned it and how he disposed of it, and how he acted upon what he acquired of knowledge.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2422; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1969)
Story is based on the Hadiths above, between Allah and a person who passed away at the age of 40. Remember this is just a story nothing is being attributed to Allah and his Rasul (PBUH) but just trying to create awareness for an individual and how you will be accounted on the day of Judgement.
(Note you will be before Allah, you cannot lie even if u want to, how you felt and what you feel will come out... and this will be in front of the whole Ummah from our Prophet (PBUH) to your mum and dad)
1. Your life how did you spend it?
He/she:
“Well when I was young, from 8 yrs old I had to go madrassa to around 14 yrs old. We read Quran although we never understood it. I never like going masjid because I always miss my favourite TV shows which funnily were always during mosque time. I would always try to bunk, fake my illness.
But school I use to love school, too much jokes, all my friends there, I use to have crushes on the girls/boys. I did pray jumuah every Friday oh and eid prayer, oh and I kept fasts during Ramadan apart from that I use to read yaseen once in a while, oh and I use to always pray when I wanted to pass exam and for my team to my win...which you never answered.”
“Then I went college, I never prayed well maybe Jumuah, never thanked you for anything maybe once a while. But college was the best; I use to make money on the side, on top of EMA. I was rich but I never thank you for it... We use to go sheesha cafes, clubbing, buy games, clothes but you nah you never came in to my life. I use to mix with the girls/boys, some acted innocent but really they were the bad ones... oh the good old days...
However I did have a friend who said we should pray, they were a friend but then they went all Taliban like, so they became a stranger so I stopped being friends with them... but anyway the girls/boys in college wow they developed so nicely and so did I... they use to chase me and I loved it..I use to look good for them everyday for them... “
“I did well in my alevels and gcse I use to put in all the effort, make plans, go to extra classes, I use to give money charity just so u could help me in my studies. “
“But Islam hmm I was busy, I thought saying there is none worthy of worship but You is enough... So I use to say that once in a while... And also my parents are holy I thought they will take me to Jannah.. But now you’re telling it’s not like that and everyone will stand alone and be accounted for. I wish I knew that now.”
“Then I went uni... again these girls/boys even more developed... me not so much...But that didn’t stop me, clubbing, drinking, drugs, girls, free mixing, bf/gfs, lying, stealing, fornicating... that was the life... everyone use to tell me enjoy life while u can so I would... and that practise Islam later when your older... so I was going to do that..
Deep down I know I should grow up and be like my parents who have Imaan and humility but aaah what the heck I got all my life... Well had...
I wanted to be like my cousins from up north, they lived the life in freedom, I want to be like my friends those who weren’t Muslim, always having fun, and they had nothing to answer to.
I guess I thought once a Muslim always a Muslim... oh and facebook damn I met girls/boys from there also... I use to think I can find girls/boys anywhere, you made it so easy for me what was I supposed to do... “
“Oh and Allah I know now this was bad but I use to love music, if I was down, it would make me happy, I use to listen on the way to college, uni, before I go sleep, while I was on the net, well pretty much any time I could.. I use to know thousand of songs and artist of by heart. I use to tell everyone about the latest songs, sing to everyone...”
“Why didn’t I listen to Quran??
Umm never liked it... Don’t understand it. Actually wait during Ramadan I use to get this holy vibe... actually wait... I only listened to it once I got into my mates car and they had it on... I think his name is sudais wait that’s him over there” (now u think damn everyone is here).
“And Allah Quran is too serious , like during Jumuah this grown man next to me started to cry during prayer, same Surahs all the time I think they were Qiyaama and Qaria, I mean grow up there are other people around you. “
“And why was it always those same Surahs they use to cry to... “
(And now by Allah you are told why..)
“Oh right I get it now, because they use to worry about this very day... wow I wish I knew.”
“Allah I did something I kinda regret now, whenever there were shopping sales, I use to queue for hours to buy some clothes which I had already enough of. I use to miss salah, and even though I knew the company was jewish (meaning money will be given to Israel to fight our Muslim brothers and sisters but we don’t care right) I don’t care Allah. I needed them extra trainers, those tight jeans, those sunglasses, those socks and underwear, I need it, it’s my life and my passion. I wasn’t hurting anyone Allah just myself. I only care for myself. But I could never spend that time queuing praying to you. Oh Allah I use to love late night shopping, seeing all the girls and boys around, walking with my gf/bf, buying clothes on my credit card, but I never prayed late night to you.”
“Oh and TV, I use to watch all the movies, TV shows... Someday that’s all I do... I would only talk about that, I use to love those dramas... Sometimes I would just spend my weekend watching those... But whenever mum and dad turned the channel to Peace tv u know the one with Zakir Naik, upstairs I went to my laptop, msning away, webcamming away, more tv. Never bothered with religion, eugh so boring, so serious.”
“Then I got married to some girl/boy, we became best friends... We had two kids... I had to get a job... we fought a lot over petty things, we nearly got divorced... I still prayed Jumuah... I did read the Quran once a year...never in the language I understood... I lost a few more friends because they became religious never thought why... So they were strangers now. But I did stop smoking, gambling, going out with other boys/girls, facebook, *!*!*!*!, clubbing.
Ok I guess I didn’t do it because I was scared of u. I only stop smoking because of kids so that my wife don’t complain or stop talking to girls/boys for my partner’s sake.
That’s all of my life maybe few bits and things missing... “
But overall Allah I wasn’t harming anyone in my life... didn’t really care about the world... just me and my family... I never got round to Islam... I was going to later but u took my life... Maybe if you could let me go back and I can learn from my mistakes.
2. Your knowledge - how did you act upon it?
Well I was good at maths, English, media studies I use to love that subject I got to watch films... I got a good degree but it was tough getting a job, I use to spend days on days and hours on hours applying. I made dua to you but it seemed you never helped.
Oh Allah you talking about the deen... ummmmmmm I know Muhammad (saw), oh and his friends Abu Bakr (ra) and Umar (ra) they lived in Makkah or Madinah... umm I knew to pray 5 times... Ramadan... I did use to listen to some random people at the mosque we use to sit in a circle once in a while... how did I act upon it... well like I said I went jumuah umm eid dunno really...oh and I use to say peace be upon the prophet every time I heard his name so yeh that’s that.
As I got older well I never had time... there were talks at uni but come on... Like the SU bar was right there... And my gf was there and I didn’t like mans talking to her so I had to be always with her so I never went... and then kids and work stop me after that..
But I use to read the metro every day, listen to bbc news... skysports...asian bride magazine... I use to love harry potter books...
Oh sorry I will stay on track... umm well the deen I guess I don’t know much except what I learn at mosque, or the portable radio that my mum had... oh I read the Quran in Arabic don’t know what that was about.. I just thought you get blessed by reading it and touching although I use to touch it sometimes without doing wudhu. It don’t matter Allah its only minor.
When I had kids Allah I taught them abc and 123 but never your beautiful names. I told them to worry about exams for school but never for this day. I didn’t know il be responsible for them, whatever they did I let them be.
But Allah its true, even though I never knew the deen, the religion, the lives of Companions (RA) and the Prophet (PBUH), I use to argue with others on the matter of deen. I just use to love it; even though I never practise I use to argue on trivial things. I use to rely on my whims as evidence for my argument. I use to worry whether the chicken I ate was electrocuted or not but I often never prayed for months, I use to say Insh’Allah over evil things or mash’Allah, yeh I admit I mocked you Allaah.
Allah then replays the moments you mocked him:
“You gonna be there tommorw night at the club. Yeh inshallah il be there. Ok. Salaams see you tomorrow. “
“Oi you got a cigarette.. yeh here you can have two.. mashallah jazakallah your so kind.”
“Oh Allah jazakallah thank you for giving me a job in the bank,” “Oh Allah thank you for you allowing me to win that bet.”
3. Your wealth - where you earned it
(“Dammnnnn didn’t think this one would come up) umm insurance scams, phone scams, car scams, ebay scams, umm I use to put money in the bank let it build up (interest), umm working for the bank, cinema, pub,, ummm when I was young I use to steal from my mum/dad.
What they are here?!!!!.. Where?? Oh wow *!*!*!*! (in this world, if you are always swearing or cursing don’t think you’re going to change all of sudden)...
U want me to carry on? I use to steal from my brothers... Cousins...Friends... but then I stopped all that when I had a family... yeh u can say I never stopped because I was afraid of u but more afraid for my family... But I use to work every day for them 9 to 5... salah what about salah. Oh I never had time for salah I was working earning money.
But Allah I wasn’t harming anyone when I dealt in interest, or did those scams, it was just me..
4. Your body... Where you used it
(If by this point you’re not embarrassed or ashamed before Allah and others... u will be now)
“Do I have to answer this... no ok? Thank u...”
In your head your thinking (wait my hands is talking what’s it saying???) you see again in the Quran it states that your body parts will be a witness against or for you.
Hands: Allah they use to touch themselves when he/she would watch *!*!*!*!, he use to abuse him/her self, watching indecent things...
Mouth: Then his/her mouth would talk... “Oh Allah they use to use the lips to kiss girls/boys”, and the hand joins in they use to use me to undress there gf/bf and put me down there pants... oh ALLAH PUNISH HIM”. “He/she use to let their filthy semen come on to me “(THIS BIT GOT GRAPHIC SO I DELETED IT)
I wanted to obey you but he never let me... (Now imagine how your father is going to feel on that day knowing his daughter use to get touched or touch boys, or get entered into etc)
Then there thigh would talk... oh Allah they too use let me get touch by his girl/boy punish him... Then his stomach would talk oh Allah... he/she use to eat haram food and say u will forgive them its only food im not harming no on... He/she would eat by spending interest money.. His/she chest would speak oh Allah he/she use to smoke the sheesha, or weed...
Then Allah stops them speaking and orders you to speak...
“Oh Allah it’s all true... I use to use my body for haram... to go gym to look good to show off... I use to style my hair or straighten it or dye to impress others... I use to wear tight clothes so the boys can see my figure... I use to love there compliments... oh Allah I use to do all sorts... I use to wear the latest clothes to show others, I use to take of my top to show others my build.
I use to let guys grind on me, touch me and I didn’t care, I use my body to dance in the clubs. Never did I think I would use my body in your path. Only if I knew.
Then Allaah orders the angels to take you to HELL... Then you scream... “WAIT”... our Rasul (PBUH) said he would intercede for every Muslim... So you wait... and the angel lets u go... so u go running to find him...Where is he?? And because u never studied him or his life, u don’t know what he looks like... u don’t know where he is... Then someone then points him out... (And remember you will be naked before Allah) so u run to him... But he moves away from you... turns his face... so u say Rasul (saw) u said u would intercede... help me.. He turns his face away again as you chase him... Then he speaks in his beautiful voice... in so many words... go away from me... u use to shave your beard even though I told u to keep it, u use to show your figure even though I told u to cover it.. You are not from my ummah, you never prayed, you never fasted properly... I cannot help you... I can intercede for those who tried and failed. Nowhere in your life did you struggle for your deen.
You turn to your father... He spits at you... Because he now knows who you are, You see in the dunya u use to act so innocent in front of him, but now he sees for what you are.. Now he knows who you use to bring to your house when he was away, or where you use to go when you went to your “friend’s house”. What u did with your body, where your mouth went... where your hands went... why u use to dress up nice... where all those presents came from...
Now you turn to your best friends who you use to say they were your best friends, that you loved them and do anything for.... in anger and u say “YOU”... u use to take me to clubbing, pub, sheesha bars, u use to invite me to parties, to meet the girls/boys, to take drugs. You argue blaming each other...
And then u turn to those beautiful lighted strangers who were your friends, who told u to pray and always ask for forgiveness...and u ask them to help u...
And they say no its too late... I use to help u in the dunya.. But u didn’t want to know me and so now I don’t want to know you...
So u turn back to Allah and say Wait Allah... Umm I only did what every normal person did... I didn’t hurt anyone... I was a good person... I use to help people on the bus actually wait that was only the women because they were looking nice... oh I use to volunteer to help kids hmm that was only to make my CV good... but I never hurt no one...WHAT I DID? HOW??
Your telling me the car insurance scams I use to pull actually hurt someone...How?? when you claimed to get hurt in a crash u claimed it against a Muslim or non Muslim (he became Muslim) although his insurance paid it, he had a crash later which was his fault and his insurance went booming up so he had to give up driving, he had a family, now he couldn’t go to his job because it was too far, so he had to change jobs closer to home but less money, he was suffering to provide for his family, but I blessed his life and his wealth and I gave him contempt..
And remember that girl/boy u use to go out with, and use and abuse, u shattered there life, and they would cry every night and then they ask for guidance, they turned to me, so I turned to them, i gave them Noor, i blessed there life. And now she/he was aiming for the highest Jannah which I will grant them... But Allah if she/he told me i would have helped them, oh but they did and u mock them and laugh at them, until they realised there is no one to turn to but me. And now you see that very same person under the Arsh of Allah, u see them glowing of light and u think damn to yourself.
Oh Allah I didn’t know... I was always tried to be good, people use to tell me that (now you realise, they use to say because they always wanted something from you or that they were your “friends” and they never wanted to hurt you)... I always try to be good. I had good intentions...
Oh Allah you’re telling me every time I just looked at my gf/bf, it was a sin, what kind of religion is this? I loved her/him; I wanted to marry her/him even though i didn’t in the end, I married that other guy/girl, I had the intention to though. We weren’t like others, we just held hands and kiss and hug, and we talk, what’s wrong with that. Ur religion was too extreme; you’re the God to extremist, where’s that imam or person that told me said it’s ok to gf/bf?
I had the intention to marry her, I thought u blessed our relationship, I thought those other bf and gf they will go hell but not me n her... were special...
Oh Allaah i used and abused you... I mean do your remember that day coming back from that party, restaurant, i was walking home from the station, it was late and i was scared... so i prayed to you and you got me home safely. But when i got home i didn’t even thank you, o pray my isha, i got changed and rang my bf and spoke to him for two hours but you nah... i mean i got better things to do, i gotta go on youtube, facebook, upload those pics from that bday party. Allaah i only needed you sometimes, you was like my part time god although i never admitted it, some Fridays, ramadhaan and thats about it really, can i go heaven now?
Oh Allah what’s this taste in my mouth, o Rabb it’s disgusting, it’s vile... (You’re spitting and flesh and blood is coming out...)
O Allah what is it...
Those times you use to sit with your friends and gossip about the whole world, about this girl about this boy, about this person and that, about this race and that people, u use to hurt people and you knew but u never cared. You use to look down on them... u use to backbite and slander... and if u had read the Quran u would have known u would be eating the flesh of those who u hurt with your words, behind or in front of them... But I did read the Quran but I didn’t understand it... I never read that part... if I knew I wouldn’t have done it... Don’t u remember u use to curse those who prayed, those friends who turned to me and told you to stop doing the evil things, don’t u remember in those gatherings and meetings of yours where all you did was laugh, curse, backbite, gossip. Well now you can taste their flesh and blood that will be your food on this ever so long day.
And the only reason I showed your sins in front of everyone, because u use to display your sins to everyone, u use to walk with pride, do u remember how u use to let your trouser hang ever so nicely over your trainers and u use to perfect it when it came out of place... or how in front of everyone after salah u use to unfold your trousers... do u mock me? U think I only see you during salah.
How u use to spend an hour choosing your dress putting on perfume... your shoes.. You use to take pride and walk on the streets... do u remember those nights in the club, pub or sheesha bar, and how the next day u would tell everyone and how it was and how much fun it was... and how u use to flirt in front of everyone.. Walking hand to hand on the streets with your gf/bf... U didn’t think I was watching all Along. If u had concealed your sins I would have done so for you.
“Oh Allah you’re going to find sins all throughout my life... “
Yes I will. U were made to sin... but I told u in the Quran.. I’m the most Merciful, Most Forgiving so ask me and I will grant u...But u never turned to me in any real conviction.
Oh Allah I never knew... Now I know let me go back... I will be better
U didn’t know? You did. During Ramadan you was ever so innocent, you wore your hijaab everyday, prayed every day, you grew your beard, even outside the holy month you use to pray Jumuah.. But soon as it came to Eid u took off your hijaab, u shaved your beard, u wore the tightest and brightest clothes on Eid, u went out with boys in their cars, smoking, u went clubbing, does u mock me? Do I only see you on Fridays and during ramadhaan?
Oh how about when you went on pilgrimage, did you think of even missing salaah then, or walking with your hijaab off, or flirting or smoking, do you think that the only place I am in Makkah or Madinah? Does u mock my existence; are you saying to me I’m not All Hearing or the All Seeing?
Oh Allah I never knew...
Allah what I did was for everyone else and never for you. I love to see my bf/gf they use to make me so happy, brighten my day, listening to that song use to cheer me up but u nah never. Everything I did was for others. But for u nah never. I felt no shame Allah, I use to wear my topee or jihaab only when I prayed Asr but as soon I finished I took it off.
If I was in a shop and heard a song that I liked, I told everyone there “tunneeee” and nod my head to it but when I heard the Quran, I use to change it so quick, leave that place so quick.
Oh Allah everything is fashion my shoes have to match my top, my bra has to match undies to please my gf/bf. All for other people Allah.
Oh Allah I’m a bf/gf before I’m Muslim, I’m a father or mother before I’m Muslim, I’m a son/daughter before I’m Muslim, I’m a individual before I’m Muslim, I’m a nationalist before I’m Muslim, I’m a democratic before I’m Muslim, I’m british before I’m Muslim, I’m Asian before I’m Muslim, can I go Jannah now?
Oh Allah I know this is bad but I wanted a tattoo, I only didn’t get it because I was scared, not scared of you, but of my mum and dad. I wanted to drink and smoke and go clubbing but I was scared not of you but of my family that they may catch me. Oh Allah I never feared you, who were you? I couldn’t even see you...
Oh Allah I hated those strangers, they use to make me feel so small. Whenever I was with them they spoke so nice, they always cared for me, they always were smiling, they always ask if they can help with anything, Allah who are these people... the TV told me these were extremist. Allah I use to look for faults in them even though they told me that no one is perfect except our Prophet (PBUH)... never did I find them complaining about anything, they were so knowledgeable, they were a threat to me, why was they happy, u didn’t bless them with wealth, or looks.. Really not much else either... but i didn’t want to know why? But I just had to bring them down. Make them do evil. Speak evil of them. If they wore hijaab i called them ninja, I wanted them to fail, I tried to make them feel small but it never worked they always came back smiling.
Oh Allah sometimes I only use to pray at masjid because my friends wanted to pray there, the Taliban one and I’m not going to say no because I don’t want him to think I’m bad and I don’t wanna pray but I was more than willing to say no to you.
Sometimes I would leave my house to go to the shop and bump into a extremist guy who told me to go with him to pray, i didn’t know how to say no... But to you here I will say NO. Don’t u see Allah I did everything for show but I always wanted things from you, can u send me to Jannah now? This is all getting boring...
Oh Allah why you make this religion like this... Why make it so hard... Why make it so that I can’t do the things that are haram... “Oh the world was a test???” Oh I see now... only if I knew Allah.
Oh Allah those holy people, how comes they were strangers, why they couldn’t be like me then I would have gotten along with them... When I started to uni, I looked at that girl she was nicely and appropiately dressed, well mannered, but I didn’t want to know her, she never talked to boys. I wanted to know those others, the ones that everyone wanted to know, they talked sex, orgasm, handjobs, blowjobs, clubbing, music, shopping...
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