A friend being abused for no reason..


Lil' Muslimah
Salaam alaikum,

I have permission of a friend to post this - it's a problem she has which she wants to remain anonymous and asked whether I could get some help by this great forum!

Okay so, sadly she has been physically and emotionally abused by her parents... She is extremely patient in how to react to them.. She hasn't snitched at all to childline or the police or anything like that.
She said she was going to get the police to her mother, and her mother said you will go to jahannam if you do......
This is very upsetting. She does absolutely nothing to her parents and tries to appreciate that they aren't worse than other parents, but I could say the same.
So basically the question is, will she go to Jahannam or get punished if she gets her parents in jail?
My friend has a 1 year old brother and she told me her mother was changing his nappy, he was crying and her mother hit him. SubhanAllah I said... How can a mother do this to a 1 year old? Is the baby even in his senses?
Please give me references onto whether she's permitted to do anything at all about this situation. I know some of you will say "be patient" but it's been going on through her whole life and I at least want to do something about it. I don't want her baby brother to get treated like this if my friend moves away for example.

Just to add on - My friend doesn't want to betray or get my parents in trouble, she actually wants her parents to get help. She feels her parents aren't normal. Any ideas?

JazakAllah khairan for reading, reply inshaAllah.

sister herb

Official TTI Chef

Hitting 1 year old baby is very serious matter - children in this age are still very fragile and they can get serious injuries by violentic treatments, even get killed if they parents don´t treat them gently. This mother of your friend need urgently help from some specialist. Ask your friend contact to this childline and ask advice from some specialist. Kind of act is not against hers mother/parents who seems have difficult emotional or other problems.

I don´t ask your friend be patient but find immediately help to this situation!


Assalamu alaikum sister,

This seems to be a dangerous situation. If the behaviour of your friend's parents is that bad, it can lead to someone getting killed. So I think keeping silent may not be a good idea. For me, it is hard to think which option has more benefit than the other, to keep silent and get the abuse which may increase (where there is the rights of an innocent baby also involved) or report them to the authorities where the family will break apart. Perhaps it is not guaranteed that your friend and her baby brother will be adopted by a Muslim family. So, it is important to weigh the dangers on both sides and then decide which action is best to take.

As about the issue of Jahannam, your friend would be sinning against her parents only if she was disobeying them in thing that are good, but to stay silent about their oppression of the baby and the torture of your friend is not acceptable in Islam. If her parents care about Jahannam, they should consider their own actions and behaviours. It seems they are using this as a tool of manipulation and not a genuine concern for the hereafter (Akhirah) of your friend.

It is also important to be sure whether your friend might be over-reacting to a situation which may only be a normal family quarrels and an occasional stressful situation.

I was thinking of stating that perhaps your friend could warn her parents that if such behaviour does not stop, she will certainly go ahead with the reporting, but there may be a danger. It is possible that they may harm your friend. So, it is important to take the right actions.

If in doubt, bring in more professional people or at least your parents or the elders of your friend to advise your friend's parents.


goodly tree
i would advice you to tell the suitation to an imam and get advice from him. meybe he'll speak with them and advice them islamiclly.


Junior Member
i think going to police or any other agencies, that might land ones parents in to jail might not be the right solution. all the verses of the Qur'an i read urge children to be good to their parents in any case, any case. it's not the other way around. so to me the question of reporting your parents knowing they might land into jail and embarasing situation is not acceptable. it's better to ask an imam or a good muslim leader to be consulted in your area.
i am sure your mother loves her 1 year old child better than her own soul. talk to her nicely or ask an elder friend to talk to her to not hit her baby.


Junior Member

There is a lecture of the rights of the children and you may benefit from it. There is hadith the the lecturer mentions, that Allaah azza wa jal has given some people for him to take care of, but he fails to take care of them, and he will not smell the fragrance of paradise! Insha' Allaah they're in my du'aa's...



  • Rights of the Children.mp3
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