a question

Discussion in 'Islamic Discussion' started by cpeloewetse, Jul 30, 2006.

  1. cpeloewetse
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    cpeloewetse New Member

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    Salaam walaykum everyone.
    I hope everyone is doing well. I just wanted to say that I dont write often enough, but I always read the posts that people write and the respond, And Mashallah you guys are all so inspiring. I always feel like I am getting something from reading the things in this site. I have a question that maybe you can help me to answer. In Islam I know that shaking hands with the opposite gender is haram. But I find it hard not to shake hands sometimes.Like especially If I go for an interview. I was just hoping some of you could help me, maybe give me some quotes from The prophet (saw), or hadeeth, where it clearly says that we shouldnt shake hands at all. Or anything you want to share.
    Jazakallah khair, I look forward to hearing from all of you
  2. Mabsoot
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    Mabsoot Amir Staff Member

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    :wasalam:

    A’ishah said, “By Allah, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman. When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, ‘I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.’” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

    The Messenger of Allah :saw: said> “I do not shake hands with women.” (Abu Dawood)

    He :saw: is the best example for all mankind.

    Its a sin both for a man and a woman to touch an unrelated member of the opposite sex.

    In some countries it is the norm for people to meet each other by shaking hands or even touching cheeks and kissing the air... or kissing the ladies hand! :astag: All of which are haram in Islam.


    I have a few tips inshaAllah.

    Stay bit back, the closer you are the more the interviewer will want to extend that hand.

    If he/she puts out their hand:

    You can put your hand on your chest. Although this is not from the sunnah, or has anything to do with Islam (as is merely shaking someones hand, because giving Salam and shaking a persons hand is the Sunnah.). Putting your hand on your chest when they try to shake it is good because it doesnt seem as awkward as just keeping your hand by yourside.. or pulled back! And they wont think you are being "rude".

    Give an explanation as to why you cant shake their hand, tell them that you are a practising Muslim. 9 times out of 10 this is enough. Infact, in my experience people know even without being told, if you do the hands on chest trick.

    Dont be ashamed or scared of offering an explanation though. - This is because our Islam gives us a greater understanding of how humans should behave and interact with one another. And it is something that Allah gave to mankind as the ultimate gift on this world. Islam teaches us the best ettiquette and behaviour

    And if by chance this affects your job application, let it be. Dont let it worry you, because Islam is much more valuable than all the riches or anything this earth could offer. Be happy that you are not working for some close minded people who can not understand other cultures/faiths. etc. Allah will reward you and give you good in the hereafter inshaAllah. :)

    Wasalam, and i hope you get your dream job! and may Allah give us all Jannatul Firdaus ! Ameen.

    P.S if everything else fails to work, you can always spit on your hand an extend it out.. Thats a Joke!! Dont do it. :astag:
  3. cpeloewetse
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    cpeloewetse New Member

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    Salam Walaykum.
    Jazakallah Khair. Your answer has helped me alot. InshaAllah I will put my hand on my chest, and just explain I am a practising muslim. Your right, if I dont get a job based on shaking hands, then I wouldnt want to work for such people. In my heart I know that Allah will reward me if I follow the sunnah, its just easier for some things than others. But I will try, because it really does bother me, everytime I do it, I feel so bad.
    Take care and thanks again.
    Salam walaykum
  4. Andalusian
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    Andalusian Peace

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    :salam2:
    Hello sister.
    you know it's not because you are muslim that people can say something if you aren't shaking hands becaue there are a lot of woman non-muslim who aren't shaking the hand. So no one can reproach you something.
    And with time people will be use to say hi without shaking hands :)
  5. B.H.
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    B.H. Junior Member

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    I am an American and hardly any Muslims live where I am at. I used to be a front end manager for a grocery company several years ago.

    Here is my advice. When you get the call to interview let them know then in a polite way that you can't do a few things that are considered common in our society. For instance you have to wear the hijab and you can't shake hands. Then explain why you can't do these things and then explain why these things will not disrupt workplace production.

    I personally wouldn't wait till you first meet the interviewer, refuse to shake hands and then explain why. The interviewer will say that he/she is not offended and it is okay, but more than likely some down deep will feel insulted---- especially if it happened in front of other people in the room (it's a power issue). Also, while employers are willing to make some adjustments for new employees many are going to wonder what else will later turn up that is "forbidden" for you and how accomodating you will disrupt the other workers.

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