A Wife Should Be Easy-Going With Her Dowry

[TheAuthenticBase]

Such a wife should be easy going with regards to her dowry because an easy dowry has the most blessings. In a hadeeth related by ‘Aa’ishah, the Prophet (saw) said:

“The woman with the greatest blessings are those who are the most easy going in dowry.” [Al-Haakim]
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The honorable Taabi’ee, Sa’eed Ibn Al-Mussayab, married his daughter for two dirhams. And the Companions used to marry with the smallest and easiest amount of dowry without exaggerating in the matter. They used to seek in a husband righteousness, deen, piety and waraa’ (abandoning that which may harm one in the hereafter out of fear of Allaah).

[Taken from "The Prophet (saw) At Home" By Sh. Muhammad Moosaa Nasr, Pp. 13-14]

http://themarriagebase.wordpress.com/2012/01/04/a-wife-should-be-easy-going-with-her-dowry/

 

[az101]

Jazakallahu khairan for this

 

[lostlilly07]

Wa alikum salaam,

Shouldn't a woman's dowry equate to what she thinks she is worth? Also, I have heard women asking for like a Qur'an as dowry hoping it will portay to their future husband they were pious when really they weren't. Idk....just some thoughts.

 

[Ahsen]

So women value themselves equal to money?

What kind of world am I living in? Nobody ever told me this.

 

[samiha]

:salam2:

I need to clarify something here, the hadeeth isn't telling women to sell themselves short by the way, but as in all things in Islaam, to be moderate in their affairs and not go into extremism. And a woman with a higher dowry is not worth more than a woman with less.

So the problem lies when women think they're dowry should equal how much they think they're worth, this creates arrogance amongst themselves and with others as well as putting people down by judging self-worth from a shallow scale, "I won't take less than 200,000 dollars for my mahr - because I'm worth it!" ... "I took only 3,000 - so I'm less than you?"

I'm just giving random numbers and not anything exact, just that no, the worth of a woman is not linked to her mahr, and she - and her family should be fair in regards to what they ask for and not make it a burden and difficulty on other men. It's a documented case that many areas in the Gulf, women ask for such high mahr that men can't often afford it or get married, and the parents don't compromise, nor do the girl. And this is what is against being correct.

This doesn't however mean like a woman has to, or can be forced to accept little to nothing for her mahr, which is how this hadeeth is often abused. To force women to accept next to nothing, when the husband-to-be is able to afford far more, or even give a respectable or good amount.

So I believe what's important is evaluating a situation and not going into extremes in regards to mahr, wa'Allaahu 'Alam

 

[lostlilly07]

I am married and I DId ask not my husband for any money. . I say this because I don't want ppl thinking a woman had to ask for money. It's what I heard sisters saying we should ask for.

And I agree sisters to do need to be moderate or considerate of their spouse financial situation. I know a sister married for five yrs now, she asked for a trip to hajj and still hasn't gotten it.

 

[Hajjerr]

salam aleikum wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

I am sorry, but...from what i know isnt the mahr anything that the future housband can give NOT ONLY money ? even if he teaches something or if he helps with something...i dont know, but not only money ?

how about if he mentions he will teach me arabic and more Quran ?

:salam2:

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

In Islam mahr and dowry are not synonyms. We need to find the exact definitions of both.

Mahr is a protective measure. It is not limited to money.

I found an article that used a good word: mahr is the symbolic representation of the spiritual commitment for the husband.