A young Women wanting to convert to islam but alittle confused

[NICOLE]

I am a young girl who is learning about Islam. I was raised as a christian but was never taught much about the christian religion. Now I have met someone special to me that is Muslim but was raised as a christian also. He has been teaching me alot and so have my boss( they are muslims) and the brothers and sister from the mosque. I dont really feel right asking him some of the questions I haveso I hope that they can be answered on here. The person I said who was close to me is also my sons father and we have a baby on the way and we are living together so you can imagine that the brothers are telling us we need to get married because of course it is haram what we are doing, but he doesnt want to get married until he feels completely confident that I want to convert to muslim and I havent really told him but I love this religion and I love learning about it but I have tried to express the way I felt but not in those exact terms. If we do get married, do we exchange wedding rings? Do we have a ceremony? What do we wear? I have heard and saw so many things. Like you shouldnt exchange wedding rings but everytime I see a muslim he/ she has wedding rings. I also read and understood that you shouldnt wear pants but I have seen many muslim women wearing pants even to the mosque. Is it okay to wear your hijab only to the mosque but nowhere else? Even if im still learning? Is it okay to say the same swoure (if you only no 1) on every 5 prayers?

 

[Mabsoot]

Bismillah

assalamu alaykum,

If we do get married

IF ? You either have to get married, or you do not live with him or make any contact with him, it is a sin. It is Zina, fornication. The only valid relationship between a man and a woman is through marriage.

You should not be living with him. I am suprised he wants to make sure you are Muslim before he marries you, he is not living the life of a Muslim. It is haram and a big sin for him to be with you.

And I think it is very irresponsible that he will not marry you, even though he has given you a child and made you pregnant again.

Firstly, you must Make Shahada, become Muslim.

Secondly, you must not live with this man until you marry him.

The Marriage contract is what makes the marriage, the husband gives his wife a Dowry, which can be anything that the wife agrees to, whether it is money, gold or jewellery.

The rings are not from Islam, and they have no significance on the marriage.

Do we have a ceremony?

Yes, there is a ceremony.

The Marriage Process in Islam

What do we wear?

You wear modest clothes. Clothes people normally wear on weddings..

Yes you can read the same Sura, and Allah will reward you whilst you are still learning and trying your best. How can you read your prayers when you are not Muslim??

First take the Shahada, that is entry point into Islam.

and read the following,

Fundamental Beliefs in Islam Tawheed and Aqeedah

Introductory Articles About Islam

If you have any questions, please do ask, we will be happy to help.

 

[Noor to shine]

Dear Nicole:
I agree with all that brother mabsoot said and I like to add :that Allah swt is opening the gates of mercy to you, Allah swt is choosing you for all that is best ...so don`t turn away from your creator.......This man -the one you are living with- did a terrible sin in islam ....I think it is time for both of you to repent to Allah swt and do good deeds to wash the bad ones ......This life is a test and all humans will return one day to Allah and be payed for all that they have done in this life ......so don`t waste your time ....have faith in Allah the creator of All and his messanger. Mohammad salla Allah alaihi wa sallam...and start your way in Islam which is a call for sincere faith, pure heart and decent life. May Allah guide us all to his way Amen
with regards

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: sister. A child being born without the parents being married is bad in any religion. And in Islam it is a complete no no. This is the right of the child to have a fathers name when he is born. Your boyfriend is completely wrong. He being a muslim should have never had a child out of a wedlock. This thing about teaching you Islam should have been done before a baby. and then you should have brought this baby to this world. But now please dont do more sins. Get married. If he does not want to then seperate. And please can i advice you something. A man who has no love for his own child and does not want to give the respect to the woman who is going to bring his baby into this world is not worth it. As a muslim he should have married you the mint he found out you were having a baby or should have never done this period. Pleasee try and learn more about Islam. You are new to the religion so dont do too much at once. Take it slow. Yes you can wear scarf when you go to the masjid. But do it with the intention that oneday you will do it always and everywhere. You dont need to worry about pants. You can wear pant. But something has to cover your hips. so which mean the shirt or jacket you wear should be below your hips. It should NOT be made of thin fabric. Also remember that Hijab is not just phisycal but a mental thing. Your eyes and speech are also a part of hijab.

 

[umm hussain]

hie

but he doesnt want to get married until he feels completely confident that I want to convert to muslim

Isnt it hypocritical that he doesnt want to marry you till you become Muslim yet he is willing to sleep with you and "father" your children whilst you are not a muslim. To me this man isnt serious, all he cares is about himself he wants to 'have his cake and eat it' too. He is not the best example of how a muslim should be it might hurt you but that is the truth. If you say Shahada you deserve someone better who will treat you with respect and Inshallah Im sure you will find proper muslims out there who will take care of you and your children. Dont let him use you any longer.

 

[38khadj]

:salam2: sister
What you need to remember is firstly that you must not embrace Islam for your partner, if you want to be a muslim then in my opinion, you must embrace Islam for yourself and for earning the sole pleasure of Allah.
Everything you do you must try and have the intention of doing it for Allah sister, not always easy to do!(but we at least have to try)
Sister I strongly advise you to talk to your partner about your feelings, if you carnt do that now then how would you be when or if you got married?
You should not feel presured into becomming a muslim to please anyone but yourself(in my opinion)

Sister please forgive me If I have offended you in anyway as I do not intend to do so.
Inshallah you will be guided, make dua to Allah Inshallah.
If you need any help sister than feel free to ask.
your sister in Islam :tti_sister:

 

[zarah]

Assalamu Alaikum

:salam2:

:ma: everyone has given good advice above.Hi Nicola,I have to agree with everyone here.:tti_sister: (Best thing to do for you and your boyfriend will be to repent to Allah(Swt).

May Allah(Swt) ease your problem.

May Allah(Swt) guide us all to the right path and protect us from evil. (Ameen)

Nicola if there is any question you will like to ask feel free sis.:blackhijab:

 

[NICOLE]

Good news!

I finally took the shahada and we are now married. I have never been more happier in my life. Now that I found islam I feel so complete. I thank you all for your comments and I was not offended at all with none of then I just appreciated the insight. Thank you again! Salaam

 

[Noor to shine]

Dear sister Nicole :

congragulation sister ....now you are born again since Islam wipe all that was before ....I pray that Allah swt gather you with your husband with his love and Taqwa.

:jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap: :jumpclap:

 

[hussain.mahammed]

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu dear sister
Welcome to the family of Islam. Subhan Allah Allahu Akbar La ilaha Illallahu muhammadan rasul Allah.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala bless you and your family, provide you whatever is best for you and increase you in Deen.
You will feel more and more humbled Insha Allah Taala as each and every passes by.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala guide you with His Noor in each and every step of your life.
ameen

 

[Paki Idol]

:salam2:

Welcome to the Faith of Islam, Sister! Indeed, your decision is wonderful.May Allah bless you and your family with His Guidance and have His mercy upon the Muslims.